๐ In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
๐ Question: What's the best way to deal with friends who enjoy joking about other people so much so that I was told by some mutual friends how they also backbite about me when I'm not around? I've known them for many years, so leaving them wouldn't be easy.
๐ Answer: As Muslims, Alhamdulillah, our aim in life is to do what pleases Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala so Jannah Paradise becomes our destiny. Anything which hinders, slows us down or prevents us from achieving our goal to deserve entry to Jannah Paradise must be stopped or avoided for Allah's sake as much as possible. You can't be a pious Muslim if you constantly hang out with misguided youths who aren't strong enough to refrain from surrendering to their desires and this dunya instead of striving to improve in the Deen. The kind of company you keep can reflect the type of person you are or want to be. So typically if you chill with gamers, druggies, gangsters, fashionistas, selfie-addicts, celeb-wannabes or gossipers, you may end up being influenced by some of their traits, absorbing their energy, or acting like them to some degree. Thus, be extremely careful with regards to who you count as your close friends.
People who find pleasure in mocking or backbiting about others are in reality insecure cowards, who are so miserable or emotionally wounded that they feel desperate to pass on their misery unto the subjects of their gossipy discussions. If they were actually clever, confident and happy with themselves, they wouldn't demoralize their values by attaining others' sins and giving out their good deeds through sinful backbiting. Every time a person talks badly about you in your presence or absence, they simply prove that they're jealous of you for having a good quality which they lack, while they receive the wrongdoings which you previously did and, if there are any, the rewards of their past good actions are added to your account of deeds. Therefore, don't feel bad when secretly unhappy clowns or jokers backbite about you. Their gossip and ridicule obviously indicate how envious they are of you, as they can't stand seeing you doing well in front of them, so they cowardly insult you from behind.
Before gradually distancing yourself from the "friends" whom you've been acquainted with for a long time, advise them sincerely and inform them about the prohibition of backbiting. Gossiping is a major sin because Allah the Most Merciful disallowed it, since those who indulge in gossip behave improperly as if Allah the All-Knowing isn't seeing them and hearing their immoral conversations, arrogantly making fun of His creations as though they themselves are free from defects and imperfections of their own.
If your companions stubbornly refuse to take your advice into consideration, gladly grant them your avoidance. Don't feel guilty about keeping yourself far away from whatever and whoever distances you from wanting to become a better Muslim.
Bad friends can always be replaced
Inn-sha-Allah by decent ones eventually in the future. It's better to walk alone in the correct direction than to side with a large crowd heading towards trouble or they're making the wrong decision. In the end, our good deeds are what accompany us to our graves, not our family, friends nor a supposedly impressive reputation. So even if you don't have any close friends who can make you laugh out loud often, what matters is the safety of your faith/Imaan and your good deeds aren't wasted, especially through backbiting other Muslims.
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, the most beloved to me are those of you with the best character, soft in nature, friendly and befriended. The most hateful of you to Allah are those who spread talebearing and gossip, who cause discord between loved ones, seeking misery for the innocent."
Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Awsaṭ 7693
Grade: Hasan li ghayrihi (Fair due to external evidence) according to Al-Albani
