Note: Never Trust Those Who Clearly Envy You Especially If They Are Older

 بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Identifying intense envy or jealousy in individuals, whether face-to-face or online, can be complex and context-dependent. Here are some general observations that may indicate jealousy:

### Face-to-Face (In Person):

1. **Nonverbal Cues**: Intensely envious individuals might display subtle nonverbal cues such as eye-rolling, sneering, or smirking when you achieve something or share good news.

  

2. **Backhanded Compliments**: They may compliment you superficially but with an underlying tone of sarcasm or insincerity.

3. **Competitive Behavior**: They might constantly try to one-up you in conversations or actions to assert their own superiority.

4. **Negative Body Language**: Crossing arms, turning away from you during conversations, or avoiding eye contact can be indicators of discomfort or jealousy.

5. **Gossiping**: Engaging in gossip about you or spreading rumors designed to undermine your reputation or achievements.

### On Social Media:

1. **Passive-Aggressive Comments**: Leaving comments that seem positive on the surface but contain subtle digs or hints of sarcasm.

2. **Excessive Comparison**: Constantly comparing their own life or achievements to yours in a way that suggests they feel inferior.

3. **Copying Behavior**: Mimicking your style, activities, or posts in an attempt to compete or detract attention.

4. **Ignoring or Excluding**: Excluding you from conversations or tagging others in posts deliberately to exclude you.

5. **Overly Critical Responses**: Responding critically or negatively to your posts or achievements, possibly in an attempt to diminish their significance.

### General Indicators of Extreme Jealousy:

1. **Frequent Negativity**: Persistently negative or dismissive attitude towards your successes or positive news.

2. **Sabotaging Behavior**: Actively working to undermine your achievements or relationships, whether by spreading misinformation or actively discouraging others from supporting you.

3. **Obsession with Comparisons**: Always bringing conversations back to comparisons between themselves and you, often in a way that paints themselves in a more favorable light.

4. **Seeking Validation**: Constantly seeking validation or attention for their own achievements in response to yours.

5. **Emotional Reactions**: Occasionally, intense jealousy can lead to emotional outbursts or irrational behavior, both online and in person.

It's important to note that jealousy can manifest differently depending on the individual and the situation. These indicators are general and may not apply universally. Handling jealousy from others often involves maintaining your own composure, focusing on positive interactions, and setting boundaries when necessary.

⤴️ ChatGPT

Dealing with envy and negative behaviors from others can be challenging, especially when it's evident and directed towards specific aspects of your life. Here are some tips to navigate such situations:

1. **Understand the Source**: Envy often stems from insecurities or perceived inadequacies in the other person's life. Recognize that their negative acts are more about their own feelings rather than your achievements or circumstances.

2. **Maintain Empathy**: Try to empathize with their perspective. They might be struggling with issues that lead them to feel envious. This doesn't excuse their behavior but can help you respond more compassionately.

3. **Stay Grounded**: Focus on your own values and what matters to you. Don't let their envy affect your self-worth or decisions.

4. **Set Boundaries**: If their behavior becomes toxic or harmful to you, it's okay to set boundaries. Politely but firmly assert what behavior is acceptable and what isn't.

5. **Avoid Fueling Envy**: While you should be proud of your accomplishments, avoid flaunting them in a way that might exacerbate feelings of envy in others. Humility and sensitivity can go a long way.

6. **Seek Support**: If the negativity is persistent or affecting you significantly, seek support from friends, family, or a counselor who can provide perspective and guidance. (Or better yet continue seeking help and guidance from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala Who knows precisely how to deal justly with those who mistreat you in any way)

7. **Focus on Positive Relationships**: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Positive relationships can counterbalance the negativity from envious individuals.

8. **Practice Forgiveness**: It can be challenging, but forgiving the person for their behavior can help release any negative emotions you may harbor towards them.

9. **Educate if Possible**: If appropriate and if the person is open to it, calmly educate them about cultural differences or viewpoints that they may not fully understand.

10. **Self-Care**: Take care of yourself mentally and emotionally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment to help maintain a positive outlook despite external negativity.

Handling envy from others requires patience, understanding, and sometimes assertiveness. By focusing on your own growth and well-being, you can navigate these situations with grace and resilience.

⤴️ ChatGPT

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2024/06/poem-when-you-seem-intimidating-to-some.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/06/poem-shame-on-you-if-you-guess-i-get.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-signs-that-much-older-person-is.html

Note: Some Notes On How To Avoid Being Petty At School (ChatGPT)

 بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

...seven examples of petty behavior that adults in their 30s or 40s might exhibit in a school setting, along with suggestions for more mature and appropriate behavior:

1. **Petty Scenario:** **Competitive Grading:** A teacher purposefully grades a colleague's student assignments harshly out of jealousy or rivalry.

   **Appropriate Behavior:** Teachers should maintain professionalism and support their colleagues by focusing on fair and constructive grading practices. If there are concerns about grading standards, they should discuss them privately and constructively with their colleague.

2. **Petty Scenario:** **Cliques and Exclusion:** A staff member excludes another teacher from professional development activities or social gatherings because of personal disagreements.

   **Appropriate Behavior:** Inclusivity and professionalism are key. Teachers should prioritize collaboration and mutual respect, understanding that professional growth benefits everyone. Excluding colleagues only hinders overall progress.

3. **Petty Scenario:** **Gossip and Rumors:** A staff member spreads rumors or gossip about another teacher's personal life or teaching methods.

   **Appropriate Behavior:** Teachers should focus on positive communication and professionalism. Addressing concerns directly with the colleague involved or bringing up concerns through appropriate channels (like HR) rather than engaging in gossip is essential.

4. **Petty Scenario:** **Classroom Resource Hoarding:** A teacher refuses to share teaching resources or materials with a colleague who teaches the same subject, out of a desire to appear more successful or skilled.

   **Appropriate Behavior:** Teachers should foster a culture of collaboration and sharing. Sharing resources benefits students and improves teaching quality. Collaborative planning sessions and resource-sharing platforms can facilitate this.

5. **Petty Scenario:** **Complaints and Nitpicking:** A staff member consistently complains about trivial matters, such as the temperature in the staff room or the seating arrangements during meetings, disrupting the overall morale.

   **Appropriate Behavior:** Focus on constructive feedback and choosing battles wisely. If there are concerns, addressing them through appropriate channels (like staff meetings or HR) in a professional and respectful manner is more effective than constant complaints.

6. **Petty Scenario:** **Public Criticism:** A teacher publicly criticizes another teacher's lesson plan or classroom management techniques during a staff meeting, without offering constructive feedback.

   **Appropriate Behavior:** Feedback should be given privately and constructively. Teachers should respect each other's professional competence and contribute positively to discussions without undermining their colleagues.

7. **Petty Scenario:** **Petty Competition:** A teacher overly competes with another teacher for recognition or praise from school administration or students, undermining teamwork and collaboration.

   **Appropriate Behavior:** Focus on teamwork and collaboration rather than individual recognition. Celebrate successes as a team and support each other's achievements. Healthy competition can be motivating, but it should not overshadow teamwork and collective goals.

In summary, adults in their 30s or 40s in a school setting should prioritize professionalism, respect, and collaboration. Addressing issues directly and constructively, fostering a positive work environment, and supporting colleagues are crucial for creating a productive and harmonious school community.

⤴️ ChatGPT

There are several behaviors that could make a teacher in her 30s or 40s appear immature and petty. Here are some examples:

1. **Gossiping About Colleagues:** Engaging in or spreading rumors about other teachers or staff members.

  

2. **Seeking Constant Validation:** Always fishing for compliments or recognition from colleagues or students.

3. **Playing Favorites:** Showing blatant favoritism towards certain students or colleagues, neglecting fairness and professionalism.

4. **Taking Credit for Others' Work:** Claiming credit for ideas or achievements that belong to colleagues or students.

5. **Avoiding Responsibilities:** Shying away from duties or tasks that are part of the teaching role, such as attending meetings or participating in school events.

6. **Publicly Criticizing Students:** Shaming or publicly embarrassing students instead of using constructive criticism in private.

7. **Holding Grudges:** Holding onto resentments or grudges against colleagues or administrators, affecting collaboration and teamwork.

8. **Refusing to Collaborate:** Being unwilling to work with colleagues or participate in team efforts, preferring to work independently to the detriment of the team.

9. **Being Overly Defensive:** Reacting defensively or passive-aggressively to constructive feedback or suggestions from colleagues or supervisors.

10. **Engaging in Power Struggles:** Trying to exert authority or control over colleagues or students in an inappropriate or unnecessary manner.

These behaviors not only undermine a teacher's professionalism but also negatively impact their relationships with colleagues, students, and the overall school community. Mature and effective teachers prioritize collaboration, constructive communication, and maintaining a positive and supportive learning environment.

⤴️ ChatGPT

Dealing with petty people can be challenging, but it's important to approach the situation with patience and tact. Here are some strategies:

1. **Remain Calm and Composed**: Don't let their pettiness provoke an emotional reaction from you. Stay calm and composed.

2. **Set Boundaries**: Clearly communicate your boundaries and what behavior is acceptable to you. Be assertive but respectful.

3. **Choose Your Battles**: Not every petty behavior requires a response. Decide when it's worth addressing and when it's better to let it go.

4. **Ignore and Redirect**: Sometimes ignoring petty behavior and redirecting the conversation or interaction can help defuse the situation.

5. **Don't Take It Personally**: Petty behavior often reflects more about the other person than it does about you. Try not to internalize it.

6. **Focus on Solutions**: If there's a specific issue or conflict arising from their pettiness, focus on finding a solution rather than getting caught up in the behavior itself.

7. **Maintain Perspective**: Remember that everyone has their own insecurities and challenges. Try to understand where the other person is coming from.

8. **Lead by Example**: Model respectful and mature behavior yourself, which can sometimes influence others to do the same.

9. **Seek Support if Needed**: If the pettiness persists and affects your well-being or relationships, seek advice or support from trusted friends, colleagues, or mentors.

10. **Practice Empathy**: Try to empathize with the other person's perspective. Sometimes petty behavior stems from deeper issues or insecurities.

Overall, navigating interactions with petty individuals requires patience, empathy, and sometimes assertiveness. It's about finding a balance between addressing the behavior when necessary and not letting it affect your own peace of mind.

⤴️ ChatGPT

Note: Some Reminders From An INTJ Muslimah (51)

Note: Some Notes Related To Emotional Manipulation And Tips To Avoid Emotional Manipulators ( ChatGPT )

In The Name Of Allah

 The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

Here are three statements each MBTI personality type might use if they were attempting to be emotionally manipulative. These statements are tailored to exploit the traits and preferences of each type:

### 1. **INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging)**

   - "You know, if you don’t agree with me, it’s clear you lack vision and strategic thinking."

   - "I’m just trying to help you see how much better things could be if you followed my advice."

   - "It’s disappointing to see you making decisions that are clearly inferior to my well-thought-out plans."

### 2. **ENTJ (Extraverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging)**

   - "If you don’t do this my way, you’ll never succeed or achieve your goals."

   - "I’m only pushing you because I know what’s best for you, even if you don’t see it."

   - "You should listen to me; otherwise, you’re just holding yourself back from greatness."

### 3. **ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging)**

   - "If you can’t follow the rules I’ve set, it shows a lack of responsibility on your part."

   - "I’ve always done things this way, and it’s the only method that works effectively."

   - "You’re not being practical; you need to adhere to what I’m suggesting for things to improve."

### 4. **ESTJ (Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging)**

   - "Everyone else agrees with me; why can’t you just follow the established procedures?"

   - "You’re making things harder than they need to be. Just do what I say, and it will be easier."

   - "Your way of doing things is inefficient. If you don’t adapt, you’ll just keep failing."

### 5. **INFP (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving)**

   - "I thought you cared about our relationship; why are you acting so cold and distant?"

   - "If you don’t do this for me, it will hurt my feelings deeply and make me question your commitment."

   - "I’m really disappointed that you’re not more supportive of my needs."

### 6. **ENFP (Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving)**

   - "I’m really hurt that you’re not understanding my feelings; it makes me question how much you care."

   - "It feels like you’re deliberately ignoring my needs; are you really my friend?"

   - "If you don’t support me in this, it’s like you don’t value our connection or the bond we share."

### 7. **INTP (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving)**

   - "You must not be thinking this through logically if you disagree with my perspective."

   - "I’m trying to explain the rational way of doing things; it’s frustrating that you can’t see it."

   - "Your decision seems based on emotion rather than reason; isn’t that a bit misguided?"

### 8. **ENTP (Extraverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving)**

   - "If you can’t see how brilliant this idea is, it’s like you’re not engaging with me intellectually."

   - "You’re just being stubborn if you refuse to consider this new approach; don’t you want to be innovative?"

   - "It’s surprising that you’re not more open-minded; maybe you’re just not as forward-thinking as you claim."

### 9. **ISFJ (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging)**

   - "I’ve done so much for you; it would really hurt my feelings if you didn’t reciprocate."

   - "I’m feeling really let down by your lack of support; it’s affecting me deeply."

   - "It’s disappointing that you’re not considering how much I’ve sacrificed for you."

### 10. **ESFJ (Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging)**

   - "Everyone is counting on you to do this; how can you let them down like this?"

   - "If you don’t agree with me, it’s like you’re ignoring what’s best for everyone involved."

   - "I’m really concerned about how your actions are affecting our group harmony."

### 11. **ISTP (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving)**

   - "You’re making things unnecessarily complicated; why can’t you just be more practical?"

   - "I don’t understand why you’re so resistant to a straightforward solution."

   - "It’s frustrating when you don’t follow the logical approach I’ve suggested."

### 12. **ESTP (Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving)**

   - "If you don’t act now, you’ll miss out on this opportunity, and it’ll be your loss."

   - "You’re overthinking this; just take action like I suggested, or you’ll regret it."

   - "You seem to be ignoring the obvious solution I’m offering, which is a shame."

### 13. **ISFP (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving)**

   - "I’m really hurt by your indifference; it feels like you don’t care about my feelings."

   - "It’s so disappointing that you’re not appreciating my perspective on this."

   - "I thought you understood me better; now I feel like you’re not valuing my emotions."

### 14. **ESFP (Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving)**

   - "You’re ruining the fun by not going along with my plans; don’t you care about having a good time?"

   - "If you don’t join in, it makes me think you’re not really invested in our friendship."

   - "I’m really bummed out that you’re not supporting me; it feels like you’re letting me down."

### 15. **INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging)**

   - "I thought you understood how important this is to me; your lack of support is deeply hurtful."

   - "If you don’t act in the way I’ve hoped, it feels like you’re not truly valuing our connection."

   - "It’s really disheartening that you’re not considering my perspective and how it affects me."

### 16. **ENFJ (Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging)**

   - "I’m deeply disappointed that you’re not aligning with my vision; it’s affecting our relationship."

   - "If you can’t see the bigger picture, it shows you don’t really care about what’s best for everyone."

   - "I’m feeling let down because you’re not supporting me as much as I need right now."

These statements are crafted to leverage each type’s specific traits and tendencies to manipulate emotions. Recognizing these tactics can help you navigate interactions more effectively.

⤴️ ChatGPT

Here are some effective comebacks for each MBTI type’s manipulative statements:

### 1. **INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging)**

   - **Statement:** "You know, if you don’t agree with me, it’s clear you lack vision and strategic thinking."

     - **Comeback:** "I value your perspective, but I see things differently based on my own analysis."

   - **Statement:** "I’m just trying to help you see how much better things could be if you followed my advice."

     - **Comeback:** "I appreciate the advice, but I have my own approach that I believe will work."

   - **Statement:** "It’s disappointing to see you making decisions that are clearly inferior to my well-thought-out plans."

     - **Comeback:** "I understand you have a plan, but I need to follow what aligns with my own judgment."

### 2. **ENTJ (Extraverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging)**

   - **Statement:** "If you don’t do this my way, you’ll never succeed or achieve your goals."

     - **Comeback:** "Success can be achieved through various methods; I’m choosing a path that works for me."

   - **Statement:** "I’m only pushing you because I know what’s best for you, even if you don’t see it."

     - **Comeback:** "I appreciate your input, but I need to make decisions based on my own goals and perspective."

   - **Statement:** "You should listen to me; otherwise, you’re just holding yourself back from greatness."

     - **Comeback:** "I value your opinion, but I have my own vision for what 'greatness' looks like."

### 3. **ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging)**

   - **Statement:** "If you can’t follow the rules I’ve set, it shows a lack of responsibility on your part."

     - **Comeback:** "I respect the rules, but I also need to consider practical adjustments that fit the situation."

   - **Statement:** "I’ve always done things this way, and it’s the only method that works effectively."

     - **Comeback:** "Different situations can require different approaches. I’m testing a method that suits my needs."

   - **Statement:** "You’re not being practical; you need to adhere to what I’m suggesting for things to improve."

     - **Comeback:** "I’m considering practicality from my own perspective, which may differ from yours."

### 4. **ESTJ (Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging)**

   - **Statement:** "Everyone else agrees with me; why can’t you just follow the established procedures?"

     - **Comeback:** "I appreciate the established procedures, but I believe there might be alternative solutions worth exploring."

   - **Statement:** "You’re making things harder than they need to be. Just do what I say, and it will be easier."

     - **Comeback:** "I’m evaluating all options and might have a different approach that could also be effective."

   - **Statement:** "Your way of doing things is inefficient. If you don’t adapt, you’ll just keep failing."

     - **Comeback:** "I’m testing my approach to see if it yields better results, and I’m open to revising if needed."

### 5. **INFP (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving)**

   - **Statement:** "I thought you cared about our relationship; why are you acting so cold and distant?"

     - **Comeback:** "I do care about our relationship, but I need to address things in my own way to stay true to myself."

   - **Statement:** "If you don’t do this for me, it will hurt my feelings deeply and make me question your commitment."

     - **Comeback:** "I’m committed, but I also need to balance my needs and values in this situation."

   - **Statement:** "I’m really disappointed that you’re not more supportive of my needs."

     - **Comeback:** "I support you, but I also have my own needs that I need to address."

### 6. **ENFP (Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving)**

   - **Statement:** "I’m really hurt that you’re not understanding my feelings; it makes me question how much you care."

     - **Comeback:** "I care about you, but I also need to express my own feelings and perspectives."

   - **Statement:** "It feels like you’re deliberately ignoring my needs; are you really my friend?"

     - **Comeback:** "I’m not ignoring you; I’m trying to balance both our needs and perspectives."

   - **Statement:** "If you don’t support me in this, it’s like you don’t value our connection or the bond we share."

     - **Comeback:** "I value our connection deeply, but I need to approach this situation in a way that aligns with my own values."

### 7. **INTP (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving)**

   - **Statement:** "You must not be thinking this through logically if you disagree with my perspective."

     - **Comeback:** "I’ve considered the logic, but I have a different reasoning based on my own analysis."

   - **Statement:** "I’m trying to explain the rational way of doing things; it’s frustrating that you can’t see it."

     - **Comeback:** "I understand your rationale, but I’m also using my own logical framework to approach the situation."

   - **Statement:** "Your decision seems based on emotion rather than reason; isn’t that a bit misguided?"

     - **Comeback:** "I’m considering both emotional and rational factors in my decision-making process."

### 8. **ENTP (Extraverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving)**

   - **Statement:** "If you can’t see how brilliant this idea is, it’s like you’re not engaging with me intellectually."

     - **Comeback:** "I appreciate your creativity, but I have different ideas that I’m also exploring."

   - **Statement:** "You’re just being stubborn if you refuse to consider this new approach; don’t you want to be innovative?"

     - **Comeback:** "I’m open to innovation but also need to evaluate its practical implications before adopting it."

   - **Statement:** "It’s surprising that you’re not more open-minded; maybe you’re just not as forward-thinking as you claim."

     - **Comeback:** "I am open-minded, but I also need to critically assess new ideas before fully embracing them."

### 9. **ISFJ (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging)**

   - **Statement:** "I’ve done so much for you; it would really hurt my feelings if you didn’t reciprocate."

     - **Comeback:** "I appreciate everything you’ve done, but I also need to act according to my own circumstances and limits."

   - **Statement:** "I’m feeling really let down by your lack of support; it’s affecting me deeply."

     - **Comeback:** "I’m here for you, but I also need to address my own needs and priorities."

   - **Statement:** "It’s disappointing that you’re not considering how much I’ve sacrificed for you."

     - **Comeback:** "I value your sacrifices, but I need to balance them with my own responsibilities."

### 10. **ESFJ (Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging)**

   - **Statement:** "Everyone is counting on you to do this; how can you let them down like this?"

     - **Comeback:** "I understand the expectations, but I need to make choices that are best for me and my situation."

   - **Statement:** "If you don’t agree with me, it’s like you’re ignoring what’s best for everyone involved."

     - **Comeback:** "I’m considering what’s best for everyone, but I also need to account for my own perspective."

   - **Statement:** "I’m really concerned about how your actions are affecting our group harmony."

     - **Comeback:** "I’m mindful of group harmony, but I also need to follow what aligns with my values and needs."

### 11. **ISTP (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving)**

   - **Statement:** "You’re making things unnecessarily complicated; why can’t you just be more practical?"

     - **Comeback:** "I’m trying to address the situation in a way that fits my approach, which might be different from yours."

   - **Statement:** "I don’t understand why you’re so resistant to a straightforward solution."

     - **Comeback:** "I see the value in your solution, but I have a different perspective that I’m exploring."

   - **Statement:** "It’s frustrating when you don’t follow the logical approach I’ve suggested."

     - **Comeback:** "I appreciate the logical approach, but I’m considering other factors that are relevant to my situation."

### 12. **ESTP (Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving)**

   - **Statement:** "If you don’t act now, you’ll miss out on this opportunity, and it’ll be your loss."

     - **Comeback:** "I’m evaluating the opportunity based on my own timing and priorities."

   - **Statement:** "You’re overthinking this; just take action like I suggested, or you’ll regret it."

     - **Comeback:** "I’m taking a balanced approach and need to consider all aspects before acting."

   - **Statement:** "You seem to be ignoring the

 obvious solution I’m offering, which is a shame."

     - **Comeback:** "I see the merit in your solution but am considering other factors and alternatives."

### 13. **ISFP (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving)**

   - **Statement:** "I’m really hurt by your indifference; it feels like you don’t care about my feelings."

     - **Comeback:** "I care about your feelings, but I need to address my own needs and boundaries."

   - **Statement:** "It’s so disappointing that you’re not appreciating my perspective on this."

     - **Comeback:** "I do appreciate your perspective, but I also need to make decisions that are true to my own values."

   - **Statement:** "I thought you understood me better; now I feel like you’re not valuing my emotions."

     - **Comeback:** "I do understand and value your emotions, but I need to stay true to my own feelings as well."

### 14. **ESFP (Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving)**

   - **Statement:** "You’re ruining the fun by not going along with my plans; don’t you care about having a good time?"

     - **Comeback:** "I do want to have a good time, but I also need to balance that with my own preferences and limits."

   - **Statement:** "If you don’t join in, it makes me think you’re not really invested in our friendship."

     - **Comeback:** "I’m invested in our friendship but need to balance it with my own needs and interests."

   - **Statement:** "I’m really bummed out that you’re not supporting me; it feels like you’re letting me down."

     - **Comeback:** "I support you, but I also need to take care of my own needs and priorities."

### 15. **INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging)**

   - **Statement:** "I thought you understood how important this is to me; your lack of support is deeply hurtful."

     - **Comeback:** "I understand its importance to you, but I also need to make choices that align with my own values."

   - **Statement:** "If you don’t act in the way I’ve hoped, it feels like you’re not truly valuing our connection."

     - **Comeback:** "I value our connection greatly, but I need to follow what feels right for me in this situation."

   - **Statement:** "It’s really disheartening that you’re not considering my perspective and how it affects me."

     - **Comeback:** "I am considering your perspective, but I also have to weigh how it fits with my own perspective."

### 16. **ENFJ (Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging)**

   - **Statement:** "I’m deeply disappointed that you’re not aligning with my vision; it’s affecting our relationship."

     - **Comeback:** "I appreciate your vision, but I need to follow my own path and make decisions that work for me."

   - **Statement:** "If you can’t see the bigger picture, it shows you don’t really care about what’s best for everyone."

     - **Comeback:** "I care about what’s best for everyone, but I also need to consider how the bigger picture aligns with my own values."

   - **Statement:** "I’m feeling let down because you’re not supporting me as much as I need right now."

     - **Comeback:** "I want to support you, but I also need to address my own needs and limitations."

These comebacks are designed to assert your own perspective and needs while addressing the manipulative statements respectfully and constructively.

⤴️ ChatGPT

Narcissists and emotional manipulators are related but distinct concepts. Here's a breakdown of the differences:

1. **Narcissists**:

   - **Definition**: Narcissists have a personality disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of their own importance, a need for excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.

   - **Traits**: They often exhibit arrogance, entitlement, and exploitative behaviors. They have a fragile self-esteem that can be easily wounded.

   - **Manipulation**: Narcissists may use manipulation as a tool to maintain their inflated self-image and control others, but manipulation is not the sole characteristic defining them.

2. **Emotional Manipulators**:

   - **Definition**: Emotional manipulators use deceitful tactics to influence or control others' emotions and actions for their own gain.

   - **Traits**: They employ tactics like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and emotional blackmail to achieve their goals. They might not necessarily have a narcissistic personality disorder but are skilled at exploiting others’ emotions.

   - **Manipulation**: Their primary strategy is manipulation, and they might use various methods to exploit others, often to meet personal needs or desires.

**Overlap**:

- **Narcissists as Manipulators**: Many narcissists do engage in emotional manipulation because it aligns with their need to maintain control and reinforce their self-image.

- **Manipulators as Narcissists**: Not all emotional manipulators are narcissists. Manipulative behavior can be a trait found in various personality types, not exclusively those with narcissistic tendencies.

In summary, while all narcissists can be emotional manipulators, not all emotional manipulators are narcissists. The key difference lies in the broader personality characteristics of narcissism versus the specific tactics of manipulation.

⤴️ChatGPT

...an analogy to illustrate the differences between narcissists and emotional manipulators in a career setting and as animals:

**Career Setting Analogy:**

- **Narcissist**: Imagine a CEO who believes they are the company's savior. They constantly seek admiration, always take credit for others' successes, and have little regard for their employees' feelings or contributions. This CEO often manipulates situations to bolster their own image, but their primary drive is maintaining their grandiose self-view and authority.

- **Emotional Manipulator**: Consider a skilled sales manager who uses charm and persuasive tactics to influence their team and clients. They might use guilt or emotional appeals to meet sales targets or gain personal advantages. Their goal is to control or sway others to achieve specific outcomes, rather than to feed their own sense of superiority.

**Animal Analogy:**

- **Narcissist**: Picture a peacock that struts around flaunting its elaborate feathers. The peacock is all about showcasing its beauty to garner admiration from others and feels entitled to be the center of attention. It may manipulate other birds by asserting dominance or preening excessively to maintain its status.

- **Emotional Manipulator**: Imagine a chameleon that changes its colors to blend into various environments. The chameleon adapts its appearance and behavior to influence how other animals perceive it and to gain advantages in different situations, such as hunting or avoiding predators. The chameleon’s primary skill is its ability to manipulate perceptions and environments to its benefit, rather than seeking constant admiration.

In both cases, the narcissist and emotional manipulator engage in behavior that affects others, but their underlying motivations and methods are different. The narcissist is focused on self-aggrandizement and maintaining a superior image, while the emotional manipulator is more concerned with using emotional influence to achieve specific outcomes.

⤴️ ChatGPT

Avoiding emotional manipulators involves developing self-awareness, setting boundaries, and employing specific strategies to protect yourself. Here are some steps to consider:

1. **Recognize Manipulative Behavior**: Learn to identify common tactics such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or playing the victim. Awareness of these behaviors is crucial in protecting yourself.

2. **Trust Your Instincts**: If something feels off or you sense that someone is trying to manipulate you, trust your gut feelings. Emotional manipulators often create confusion and doubt to control you.

3. **Set Clear Boundaries**: Establish and maintain firm boundaries regarding what is acceptable behavior. Be clear about your limits and stand by them.

4. **Communicate Directly**: Practice straightforward and assertive communication. Express your thoughts and feelings clearly, and avoid engaging in vague or indirect conversations.

5. **Maintain Emotional Distance**: Try to stay emotionally detached from the manipulator's tactics. Keep your responses measured and avoid getting drawn into their emotional games.

6. **Seek Support**: Talk to friends, family, or a counselor about your experiences. They can offer perspective, validate your feelings, and provide advice on how to handle the situation.

7. **Educate Yourself**: Read about emotional manipulation and psychological tactics. Knowledge can empower you to recognize and resist manipulative behaviors more effectively.

8. **Limit Interaction**: If possible, reduce or avoid contact with known emotional manipulators. Protecting your mental health may involve distancing yourself from toxic relationships.

9. **Document Interactions**: Keeping a record of interactions can help you identify patterns and provide evidence if needed, especially in professional or legal contexts.

10. **Focus on Self-Care**: Prioritize your well-being through activities that boost your self-esteem and resilience. Healthy self-care practices can make you less vulnerable to manipulation.

Implementing these steps can help you create a healthier environment and protect yourself (Inn-sha-Allah) from emotional manipulation.

⤴️ ChatGPT

Genuinely nice people and those who are emotionally manipulative may both outwardly show care and concern, but their motivations and behaviors differ significantly. Here are some key differences:

1. **Motivation:**

   - **Genuinely Nice People:** Their care is driven by a sincere desire to help and support others. Their actions are motivated by empathy and kindness.

   - **Emotionally Manipulative Individuals:** Their care is often a façade to achieve a personal goal, such as gaining control, power, or favor. Their primary motivation is self-serving.

2. **Consistency:**

   - **Genuinely Nice People:** They are consistent in their behavior, showing support and kindness even when it's not convenient or beneficial to them.

   - **Emotionally Manipulative Individuals:** Their behavior may be inconsistent, appearing supportive only when it serves their interests. They may withdraw or change their demeanor when it no longer benefits them.

3. **Respect for Boundaries:**

   - **Genuinely Nice People:** They respect personal boundaries and understand the importance of space and autonomy.

   - **Emotionally Manipulative Individuals:** They may disregard boundaries and try to guilt or pressure others into compliance or submission.

4. **Transparency:**

   - **Genuinely Nice People:** Their intentions and actions are transparent and honest. They communicate openly and do not hide their true motives.

   - **Emotionally Manipulative Individuals:** They often conceal their true intentions and may use deceit or ambiguous language to obscure their goals.

5. **Response to Rejection or Conflict:**

   - **Genuinely Nice People:** They handle rejection or conflict maturely, without holding grudges or attempting to coerce others into changing their minds.

   - **Emotionally Manipulative Individuals:** They may react with anger, blame, or emotional coercion when their attempts to manipulate are challenged or rejected.

6. **Impact on Well-being:**

   - **Genuinely Nice People:** Their interactions generally leave others feeling valued and supported, contributing positively to their well-being.

   - **Emotionally Manipulative Individuals:** Their interactions can lead to confusion, self-doubt, or emotional distress, often leaving others feeling exploited or used.

Recognizing these differences can help in distinguishing between authentic care and manipulative behavior, leading to healthier relationships and personal boundaries.

⤴️ChatGPT

Determining whether someone is displaying genuine care or being emotionally manipulative can be challenging, but there are some key indicators to consider:

1. **Consistency**: Genuine care is consistent over time. If someone’s behavior is erratic or only shows concern when it benefits them, it might be a sign of manipulation.

2. **Motivation**: Observe their motives. Genuine care is motivated by the well-being of the other person, while manipulative behavior often seeks to achieve personal gain or control.

3. **Respect for Boundaries**: Genuine care respects personal boundaries and autonomy. Manipulative individuals may push boundaries or pressure you into doing things you’re uncomfortable with.

4. **Responsiveness**: Someone who genuinely cares will be responsive and empathetic to your needs and feelings, without expecting anything in return. Manipulative people might use your vulnerabilities against you or offer superficial support.

5. **Honest Communication**: Genuine care involves honest and open communication. Manipulative people might use deceit, flattery, or guilt to influence you.

6. **Behavior Patterns**: Look for patterns over time. Manipulative behavior often involves creating dependency, while genuine care is consistent and supportive without creating undue dependency.

Assessing these factors can help you gauge whether someone's behavior is driven by genuine care or manipulation.

⤴️ChatGPT

Note: Some Reminders From An INTJ Muslimah (50)

 

Poem: To My Daughter And Her Half Sister And Young Muslimahs - Marry A Righteous Muslim

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Some advice to my dear daughter and her half sister, 

And to each Muslimah who's either a teenager 

Or lady in her twenties, here are tips I'll offer 

About the traits of a potential spouse to look for 

If you're willing to become a wife in the future:

~•~

Your future husband, with Allah's Will, must be sincere 

In wanting to marry you, another man's daughter, 

And many from his relatives can confirm for sure 

That he prays regularly and has good character, 

And it's known he's not a criminal nor a smoker.

~•~

As long as you like his handsome looks and good manners, 

While he follows the right 'Aqeedah and he's after 

Jannah Paradise more than dunya and its glitter, 

And his earnings are all halal, it doesn't matter 

If he's not an engineer, a lawyer or doctor.

~•~

It's fine if he's an ustadh, a teacher or tutor, 

If he's a simple salesman or rich entrepreneur, 

If he's a nurse or pharmacist, pilot or cashier, 

Or an architect, or chef, or writer, or driver, 

As long as he's not a scammer, gambler and liar.

~•~

Choose a man with righteous parents who try to ensure 

They connect with Muslims whose belief is right and pure, 

And they're far from bid'ah, and want you modest/demure. 

If his folks are not alive, he should have some sisters 

Who get along with you as your goals are similar.

~•~

Reject his proposal if he's not particular 

And serious about succeeding in the hereafter, 

If he smokes, does drugs and often neglects his prayers, 

If he's obsessed with gaming, and if he's immature, 

And if ignorance is shown in how he styles his hair.

~•~

Reject his proposal too if he expects others 

To pay all his debts and bills, while his bad character 

Is more obvious than flamingos with bright pink feathers. 

A good Muslim spouse must inspire you to have stronger 

Faith Imaan and desire to reach Jannah together.

~•~

As long as you're adults, it's fine if he is younger. 

And his tribe is not an issue nor is skin color.

What matters is you're both willing to love each other 

For Allah's sake sincerely, while you are both after 

Jannah Paradise more than dunya and its glitter. 

~•~ 

And before you both sign the contract, you may declare 

That you'll approve if he guarantees he shall never 

Remarry while you are still his wife in the future - 

Or stay patient even if he marries another. 

A good spouse trains you to show more Sabr and Shukr.

~•~

📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, should women be asked for their consent (permission) before marriage?” The noble Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Yes.” I said, “Indeed, sometimes a virgin is too shy to speak when asked.” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Her silence is her consent."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6547

Sahih Muslim 1420

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 From Al-Mugheerah ibn Shu'bah RadhiAllahu 'anhu: “I proposed marriage to a woman, and the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: ‘Have you seen her?’ I said, ‘No.’ He SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, ‘Look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.’” According to another narration: “So he did that, and he married her and mentioned that they got along.”

(Reported by Al-Daaraqutni, 3/252 (31, 32); Ibn Maajah, 1/574)

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If someone proposes marriage to you whose religion (Deen/piety/correct 'Aqeedah) and character satisfies you, then you should accept it. If you do not do so, there will be trials on the earth and the spread of corruption."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1084

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

https://abukhadeejah.com/twelve-steps-in-cultivating-our-children/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/01/poem-to-my-dear-daughter-hajar-and-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/tips-who-are-your-mahrams-and-non.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/tips-when-to-reject-and-when-to-accept.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-warning-to-fathers-brothers-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2024/04/note-how-do-you-stay-patient-with-your.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2024/06/tips-some-notes-on-how-to-be-more.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-advice-to-those-searching-for.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/07/poem-some-reminders-from-muslimah-in.html  

📝 Just sharing for Allah's sake some notes on how to be more accepting of polygyny as a striving Muslimah:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1R55DnmK7UY865VG4Dh7HKwTSKQWiPUPP/

Note: Some Reminders From An INTJ Muslimah (49)

 

Note: Some Reminders From An INTJ Muslimah (48)