๐ Some advice to my dear daughter and her half sister,
And to each Muslimah who's either a teenager
Or lady in her twenties, here are tips I'll offer
About the traits of a potential spouse to look for
If you're willing to become a wife in the future:
~•~
Your future husband, with Allah's Will, must be sincere
In wanting to marry you, another man's daughter,
And many from his relatives can confirm for sure
That he prays regularly and has good character,
And it's known he's not a criminal nor a smoker.
~•~
As long as you like his handsome looks and good manners,
While he follows the right 'Aqeedah and he's after
Jannah Paradise more than dunya and its glitter,
And his earnings are all halal, it doesn't matter
If he's not an engineer, a lawyer or doctor.
~•~
It's fine if he's an ustadh, a teacher or tutor,
If he's a simple salesman or rich entrepreneur,
If he's a nurse or pharmacist, pilot or cashier,
Or an architect, or chef, or writer, or driver,
As long as he's not a scammer, gambler and liar.
~•~
Choose a man with righteous parents who try to ensure
They connect with Muslims whose belief is right and pure,
And they're far from bid'ah, and want you modest/demure.
If his folks are not alive, he should have some sisters
Who get along with you as your goals are similar.
~•~
Reject his proposal if he's not particular
And serious about succeeding in the hereafter,
If he smokes, does drugs and often neglects his prayers,
If he's obsessed with gaming, and if he's immature,
And if ignorance is shown in how he styles his hair.
~•~
Reject his proposal too if he expects others
To pay all his debts and bills, while his bad character
Is more obvious than flamingos with bright pink feathers.
A good Muslim spouse must inspire you to have stronger
Faith Imaan and desire to reach Jannah together.
~•~
As long as you're adults, it's fine if he is younger.
And his tribe is not an issue nor is skin color.
What matters is you're both willing to love each other
For Allah's sake sincerely, while you are both after
Jannah Paradise more than dunya and its glitter.
~•~
And before you both sign the contract, you may declare
That you'll approve if he guarantees he shall never
Remarry while you are still his wife in the future -
Or stay patient even if he marries another.
A good spouse trains you to show more Sabr and Shukr.
~•~
๐ Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, should women be asked for their consent (permission) before marriage?” The noble Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Yes.” I said, “Indeed, sometimes a virgin is too shy to speak when asked.” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Her silence is her consent."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6547
Sahih Muslim 1420
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
๐ From Al-Mugheerah ibn Shu'bah RadhiAllahu 'anhu: “I proposed marriage to a woman, and the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: ‘Have you seen her?’ I said, ‘No.’ He SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, ‘Look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.’” According to another narration: “So he did that, and he married her and mentioned that they got along.”
(Reported by Al-Daaraqutni, 3/252 (31, 32); Ibn Maajah, 1/574)
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If someone proposes marriage to you whose religion (Deen/piety/correct 'Aqeedah) and character satisfies you, then you should accept it. If you do not do so, there will be trials on the earth and the spread of corruption."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1084
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
๐ Just sharing for Allah's sake some notes on how to be more accepting of polygyny as a striving Muslimah:
