Tips: How Mature Adults And Muslims Should Deal With Grudges

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Five ways unconfident people deal with those whom they dislike:

1] They obsessively stalk their social media accounts with jealous resentment while not having any form of connection with the individuals they hate. They desperately aim to count their flaws, fabricate a list of their errors, or laugh at their mistakes.

2] They give the people whom they resent offensive nicknames or titles that don't really suit them. For instance if somebody they loathe walks by, they're likely to tell their friends 'the "monster" has arrived' or 'warning: miss tornado approaching.' often in a language which the subject doesn't understand. They seem to be obnoxious pros at being cowardly passive-aggressive, which reflects their depressing upbringing or low self-confidence.

3] They deliberately ignore the salaams, greetings, genuine efforts to be more acquainted, and invitations of the people they can't stand. They either treat the person whom they despise rudely and disrespectfully, or they regard them as non-existent. 

4] They immaturely gossip about those who clash with them or who threaten their self-esteem. Scornfully mimicking, making deplorable jokes or spreading malicious rumors about those whom they're undeniably envious of are some things they do to remedy their wounded ego or gigantic load of insecurities.

5] A lot of the status updates they post on their timelines are indirect insults and false accusations meant for those people who trigger negative feelings of envy or suspicion. If someone seems to be bothering you online or offline, it is a logical move to either confront them directly, in a one-on-one manner, or confidently walk away from their negative influence.

🔹 How should educated, mature and responsible adults deal with petty grudges:

1] Avoid surrounding yourself with those whom you believe are incompatible, troublesome or annoying. If you don't enjoy watching a YouTuber's channel, stop viewing their content instead of trolling around with spiteful comments. If some Facebook users upload stuff which bother you, simply unfollow, unfriend and quit acting like a virtual paparazzi on their timeline. You're accountable for the kind of info you decide to read and digest, not for what users choose to post.

2] No matter how different, indifferent or insulting some people have been, you are not entitled at all to invent hurtful nicknames for them. If you wouldn't be okay with strangers and haters addressing you with an inappropriate title, why do it to others. You may end up with an unpleasant outcome if the person you've offended happens to be someone whom Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala loves.

3] As Muslims Alhamdulillah we must value the rights of other Muslims, one of which is responding to their salaams and invitations. If we were unable to accept an invitation for whatever reason or we didn't answer a Muslim's salaam because we were rushing, we should at least apologize for our shortcomings, ensure we avoid repeating the same offense, or carry out a generous deed in the future to compensate for our mistreatment.

4] Even if some resentful individuals or critics gossiped about us in the past, we mustn't stoop down to their level, dissing them back from behind like insecure cowards. A person backbiting about us, thereby loading their account of deeds with our sins each time they backbite, isn't a request for us to emulate their ignorant behavior.

5] When we love some people wholeheartedly for Allah's sake, we tend to mention their names regularly in our Du'as, and hearing their names pronounced from us or others brings a sense of comfort. In contrast, if there are a number of souls who aren't in good terms with us, it is more rational to intentionally refrain from uttering their names, because we don't wish to associate with them, than accumulate their wrongdoings through sinfully gossiping.

A person's misconduct should inspire us to be patient for Allah's sake and motivate us to persistently maintain good character as much as possible, not diminish our values and morals.

📖 Anas ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said to me, “Young man, if you are able every morning and evening to remove any malice in your heart towards anyone, do so.” Then, the Prophet SallAllahu' alaihi wa sallam said to me, “Young man, that is my Sunnah. Whoever revives my Sunnah has loved me, and whoever loves me will be with me in Paradise.”

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2678

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi

📖 Abdullah ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, who are the best people?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “One with a heart swept clean and truthful in speech.” We said, “O Messenger of Allah, we know truthful in speech. What is a heart swept clean?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “One that is mindful of Allah and pure, in which there is no sin, nor aggression, nor envy.” We said, “Who shows a sign of it?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “One who hates worldliness and loves the Hereafter.” They said, “And who shows a sign of it?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “A believer with good character.”

Source: Shu’ab Al-Imān 4457

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Mu’adh ibn Anas RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “The best of faith is to love for the sake of Allah, to hate for the sake of Allah, and to keep your tongue busy in the remembrance of Allah.” Mu’adh said, “And what else, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “And that you love for the people what you love for yourself, and you hate for them what you hate for yourself, and you speak goodness or remain silent.”

Source: Musnad Ahmed 21627

Grade: Sahih li ghayri (Authentic due to external evidence) according to Al-Arna’ut

Note: Important Lessons From Surah Al-Kahf

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Important life lessons we can learn from Surah Al-Kahf which we're encouraged to recite every Friday:
1] Similar goals and shared interests or experiences are what can bring people together. Often when Allah the Almighty decrees that you meet a group of individuals, it's because you have a lot of things in common and their companionship can benefit you Inn-sha-Allah in the future.
2] During times of rising fitna or when you're surrounded by people who mistrust you, avoiding them or distancing yourself from them is an effective way to protect your faith/Imaan and overall well-being.
3] The exact number of how many people attended an event, the precise quantity of persons involved in a project, and their full names are not that important. What matters is their actual intention or condition in partaking in a task which is only known by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala.
4] Just because you're the only one who believes in a certain truth doesn't mean nobody will ever understand or support you. Some time in the future Inn-sha-Allah there could be individuals who realize and agree with the things that you value. Never give up on what you believe is authentic, rewarding and true.
5] Being imperfect in numerous ways or having some defects can be a blessing in disguise. A blemish, mistake, malfunction, error or disfigurement could be a protection from something that only Allah the Most Kind knows of.
6] Anything that you lose or which is taken by Allah the Most Loving can Inn-sha-Allah be replaced and substituted with something else that is better and more rewarding. A loss in one area could open doors to further gains, such as earning the rewards of being patient for Allah's sake, as well as obtaining a more beneficial blessing than the one that got away.
7] It's not a must that people should be kind to you before you display kindness to them. Sometimes Allah the Most Merciful inspires us to help or do favors to specific persons because they're loved by Him Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. Meanwhile you attain the rewards of being helpful without expecting anything in return from the people.
8] Gratitude to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for even the simplest of blessings can guarantee that they last for a longer period of time. Pridefully bragging about what you have, without being grateful to Allah for them, could eventually lead to their disappearance or destruction.
9] Reminder that the Day of Judgment is a reality that cannot be denied, and all of the actions of humankind will be judged by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala.
10] Even if you have a number of special qualities or you have a significant reputation in society, there will always be somebody out there who surpasses you in many areas or who does better than you in different aspects. This is to prevent humans from being overly sure of themselves while they have the opportunity to learn valuable lessons from those who are more knowledgeable, trained or experienced.
11] It takes an enormous load of waiting with patience, listening carefully and observing attentively for those who wish to learn from a teacher or wise person. Unnecessarily commenting or aggressively questioning the motives of an instructor prior to their clarification can disrupt the learning journey.
12] You can forgive a person who has offended you, disrespected you, or broke a promise up to three times. If after the second time they duplicate their mistakes, it's up to you to pursue a connection with them or to part ways, clarifying that you have a right to disconnect from people who emotionally drain you.
13] While the tendency to forget at times is a natural characteristic of humans, oftentimes forgetting about something can be a blessing in disguise.
14] Effective leadership can be attained if the followers or students willingly cooperate with the leader or teacher. A person with the potential to lead cannot organize effectively if the people he or she is managing are not being cooperative, understanding and supportive.
15] In verse 90 of Surah Al-Kahf, Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala mentioned about a place on earth where the residents are almost always exposed to sunlight or where the sun is always shining brightly. Some people call it "the midnight sun" located somewhere in Norway. This is one of the many evidences that the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam did not write the Qur'an but the Noble Qur'an is clearly a revelation from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. How else would the Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam know about that sun if he was all the way in the deserts of Makkah and Madinah and there were no satellites thousands of years ago.
📖 Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, "Whoever recites Surah Al-Kahf on Friday will have a light between this Friday and the next."
In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Whoever reads Surah Al-Kahf as it was revealed, there will be a light for him on the Day of Resurrection.”
Source: Al-Sunan Al-Kubrá 5856
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Anas RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Increase your supplications for me on the day and night of Friday. Whoever blesses me once, Allah will bless him ten times."
Source: Al-Sunan Al-Kubrá 5854
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever memorizes ten verses from the beginning of Surah Al-Kahf will be protected from the false messiah (dajjaal)."
In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “From the last ten verses of Surah Al-Kahf.”
Source: Sahih Muslim 809
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
https://greatrewards.abdurrahman.org/2014/08/01/whoever-reads-surah-al-kahf-on-the-day-of-jumuah/
https://www.visitnorway.com/things-to-do/nature-attractions/midnight-sun/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midnight_sun

Poem: Why Talk Badly About People When You Too Are Imperfect

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 You don't need a degree to understand and admit
That there is no benefit in rumors nor gossip.
If your words regarding others would make them upset
Or they're untrue, then be smart enough to stay quiet.
~•~
What good do you gain by announcing someone's weakness,
Ranting about their flaws like doing so makes you rich?
Richness in ignorance, in manners impoverished,
And morally unaccomplished are unattractive.
~•~
Does mocking a person's scent, accent, body image,
Height, slips, and efforts to learn signify you're perfect?
Why ridicule how someone talks, walks, behaves or smells
When you also discharge human fluids and feces?
~•~
Some laugh at so-and-so as though they're fully flawless,
Never fell, not once slipped, cannot bleed, without blemish.
Scorning people's blunders while you too are imperfect
Simply resembles the wicked traits of hypocrites.
~•~
Only the insecure, sad and uneducated
Cowardly backbite about those of whom they're jealous.
Fear Allah. Know your actions are being recorded.
Watch what you say if you don't want your good deeds wasted.
~•~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Do you know who is the bankrupt?” They said, “The one without money or goods is bankrupt.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Verily, the bankrupt of my nation are those who come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers, fasting, and charity, but also with insults, slander (gossipping, falsely accusing and spreading rumors), consuming wealth, shedding blood, and beating others. The oppressed will each be given from his good deeds. If his good deeds run out before justice is fulfilled, then their sins will be cast upon him and he will be thrown into the Hellfire.”
Source: Sahih Muslim 2581
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abdullah ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu reported that they mentioned a man in front of the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and they said, “He only eats if he is fed! He only moves if he is made to move!” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “You have backbitten him.” They said, “We only said what is true about him.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “It is enough sin to mention bad things about your brother.”
In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “If what you said about him were not true, you would have slandered him.”
Source: Musnad ‘Abdullah ibn al-Mubārak 2
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Mundhiri
📖 Abu Barzah Al-Aslami RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “O you who have faith with their tongues but faith has not entered their hearts! Do not backbite the Muslims nor seek their faults. Whoever seeks their faults (searches for their mistakes or counts their flaws), Allah will seek his faults. And if Allah seeks his faults, He will expose him even in the privacy of his own house.”
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4880
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Let him who believes in Allah and the Last Day speak good, or keep silent; and let him who believes in Allah and the Last Day be generous to his neighbour; and let him who believes in Allah and the Last Day be generous to his guest."
(Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)
Forty Hadith Nawawi 15
English translation: Hadith 15

Note: Virtues Of Including Our Parents In Our Du'as

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 None of us is perfect, since we're human beings prone to sinning and making mistakes from time to time. At one point or another, especially during our teenage years when mood swings and peer pressure often cause an individual to make illogical decisions, we've been guilty of disrespecting our beloved parents in the past. Maybe there were numerous instances when we raised our voices at them in heated arguments, wrongfully accused them of being "unfair" while they were only trying to care for us, complained to some friends about their strictness, insisted on granting access to a shrink or guidance counselor instead of confiding in them, and writing in our journals or diaries about how much we despised them. With that, we were ignorantly unaware that someday in the future they'd be gone and we'd miss their valuable words of advice, warnings, scoldings, gifts and savory dishes they endearingly prepared for us.
It is usually after the death of our parents when a lot of us realize their significant value, and distressful feelings of remorse creep in when we're reminded of the rewards of treating our parents with respect and love for Allah's sake. For those whose parents passed away, it is possible to rectify our previous shortcomings and ignorant conduct by constantly mentioning our dear mother and father in our loving Du'as/supplications, praying to Allah the Most Forgiving to forgive us and them, to accept their good deeds, protect them from torment, and reunite us with them in Jannah Paradise.
Besides including our parents in our frequent prayers, particularly while fasting, we could do certain good deeds on their behalf, such as doing charity and performing Hajj with the intention that they be the ones to be rewarded for those actions, so they gain additional rewards on their accounts. Maintaining peaceful relations with the people whom they loved when they were alive, ensuring all their debts are fully paid if they had any, applying the positive teachings they taught us, giving their belongings to the needy Muslims when possible, and continuing whatever legacy they left behind for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala are other commendable and rewarding tasks we can do.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Verily, Allah the Almighty will raise the status of His righteous servants in Paradise and they will say: 'O Lord, what is this?' Allah will say: 'This is due to your child seeking forgiveness for you.'”

Source: Musnad Ahmed 10232

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Bakrah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said three times, “Shall I not tell you about the worst of major sins?” They said, “Of course, O Messenger of Allah.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “They are (shirk) to associate partners with Allah and to be disrespectful to one's parents.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam was reclining and he sat up, saying, “And surely to speak falsely.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam continued to repeat it (emphasizing the severity of the wickedness of purposely telling lies) until we wished he had stopped.
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 2511, Sahih Muslim 87

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Ibn 'Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: A woman came to the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and she said, “My mother has died and she owed a month of fasting.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Do you think if she had a debt you would repay it on her behalf?” She said 'yes'. The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “The debts of Allah are more worthy to be repaid.”

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1902, Sahih Muslim 1132

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Poem: We're Here To Serve Allah, Not Impress People

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Since Allah made us to worship Him, not His servants,
People's enmity or distance isn't a problem.
Drifting friendships and swift breakups are bound to happen
Often due to miscommunication, impatience,
Excessive conflict, or the closure was just destined.
~•~
It's not a tragedy to be left or abandoned
By those whose decisions don't align with your mission,
Who envy your achievements, suspect your intentions,
Or who choose 'quit' or 'average' instead of 'hardworking'.
Clinging to toxic friends is what's a predicament.
~•~
Be gratefully content you prefer to keep going,
Pursuing your main goal to serve Allah with patience,
Unaffected by critics and haters' rejection,
Because you live for Allah not for His creation.
Strangers' resentment inspire you to be resilient.
~•~
Let opponents exit chat groups or group discussions,
Accept that those who clash with you are too different,
Allow those who find you weird to keep their eyes rolling,
Their envy, pride and hateful thoughts spoil their well-being.
We can't force anyone to value faith and learning.
~•~
Don't fret if in your circle you witness reduction.
Sometimes some souls' departures give space for improvement,
Their fleeing is a protection from bad influence,
And they train us to trust Allah, not feeble humans.
Thrive with Allah's Love by Whom we're never forgotten.
~•~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.”
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 
📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
Al-Azimabadi said, “That he hates for the sake of Allah does not mean he harms the one he hates. Rather, the hatred is for his unbelief and disobedience.”
Source: ‘Awn al-Ma’būd 4681
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are troops collected together. They come close upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109
Sahih Muslim 2638
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
Al-Nawawi said, “When bodies meet in the world, they come together or differ according to how they were created. The righteous will incline to the righteous, and the evil will incline to the evil.”
Source: Sharh Al-Nawawī ‘alá Sahih Muslim 2638