Tips: What You Can Do To Manage Some People's Disrespect

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

📜 Question: What can I do to cope with some people's disrespect? Even if I am nice to them, complete my tasks, or I've done nothing wrong to them on purpose, my boss and coworkers treat me disrespectfully. 

📝 Understand that even the best of all human beings, namely the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, encountered moments when he was treated unfairly and disrespectfully. Recall that time when he SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam went to Taif with Zaid bin Haritha RadhiAllahu 'anhu where they initially didn't receive a warm welcome, and when some leaders of Quraish disrespected the noble Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam while he was praying towards the Qiblah and his daughter Fatima RadhiAllahu 'anha did what she could to assist her kindhearted father. 

No matter how kind, seemingly successful, cooperative, educated, charismatic, righteous, or good-looking you are, wherever you go on earth, a temporary platform of tests, occasionally you may encounter some awfully rude and uncivilized people. 

🔹 There are three possible reasons why somebody, whether stranger or from your family, would treat you with disrespect: 

1➡️ They're jealous of you. 

Seeing you display traits, qualities, and achievements which they're currently lacking could explain their desperate longing to make you feel miserable. 

A ) If you regularly receive unfair and awful treatment from an immature woman, she's probably envious of your inner beauty and/or the fact that you're contentedly married to a doctor while the unproductive guy whom she ended up with is jobless, uneducated, or not as attractive as your spouse. 

B ) If your employer or any older individual, who claims to be an adult, consistently treats you with disrespect, it's likely because you in your twenties remind them of their failures, depressing life experiences, or insecurities they've had when they were around your age. 

C ) If the disrespectful individuals are much younger than you, their obnoxious behavior could signify they jealously resent how your parents did a better job than theirs in terms of educating and responsibly taking care of you, or they envy your pleasant looks and/or your overall lifestyle. 

2➡️ They're sad, emotionally unwell, or insecure. 

A lot of bullies resort to bullying when they themselves are being oppressed in their unhappy homes. So they're prompted to transfer their sorrows unto others through behaving disrespectfully. 

3➡️ They're sent as brief tests from Allah the Almighty to purify you from sins you previously did, train your patience, and inspire you to stay grateful that you don't resemble them in their immaturity and absurd attitude. 

Even if you decided to move out to another workplace, you may still come across a number of troublemakers and toxic colleagues. You can either learn to solve a Rubik's cube in a hall which you've selected, choose a different office where several jigsaw puzzles must be solved within a fixed time limit, or try a new venue where you'll be given multiple-choice questions to answer every minute. Wherever you go in this planet of imperfections, you can't completely avoid people who go out of their way to disturb you because not everybody is as blessed as you in having strong faith/Imaan and a beautiful heart/soul. Alhamdulillah always.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Fear Allah wherever you are, follow a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it, and behave well with good character towards the people."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1987

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi 

📖 Sa'd Ibn Abi Waqqas RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, which of the people are most severely tested?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "They are the prophets, then the next best (in terms of righteousness), then the next best. A man is put to trial according to his Deen/religion. If he is firm in his religion, his trials will be more severe. If he is weak in his religion, he is put to trial according to his strength in religion. The servant will continue to be put to trial until he is left walking upon the earth without any sin."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2398

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-please-only-allah.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-ways-to-react-to-peoples-rudeness.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/poem-dont-allow-some-peoples-envy-and.html 

🗒️ Reminder to recite Surah Al-Kahf every Jumuah Friday and include the Muslim Ummah in your Du'as.

Note: How Most INTJ Personality Types Deal With Making Friends And Maintaining Friendships

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Some facts about most INTJ personality types regarding making friends and maintaining friendships: 

1] Since INTJ Muslims are introverted, they welcome solitude, and would rather spend quality time with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala than attempt to build a shallow link with a person who's clearly incompatible in many ways. 

2] Generally a typical INTJ doesn't feel "lonely", specially if they're aware that those who surround them at work, school, or home are too different from them in terms of values, goals, likes, dislikes, and overall temperament. 

3] INTJs intensely abhor lies, inaccuracies, false rumors, deceitfulness, and gossiping. A quick way to successfully turn off INTJs and inspire them to lose interest in wanting to befriend you is by criticizing other people behind their backs, backbiting, or basically proving you're morally obnoxious. If you can afford to backbite about another Muslim in my presence, I wouldn't be flabbergasted if you did the same when I'm not around. 

4] INTJs value seeking knowledge, striving to apply what they've learned, and enjoy meaningful discussions from which they can learn something valuable, useful, and productive. If you're somebody who despises learning and have nothing significant to teach us, a lot of INTJs may find you uninteresting, even if you likewise perceive us as boring "intellectuals" or "nerds".

5] A lot of INTJs have a preference for writing and sharing some of their thoughts or ideas through text than expressing themselves verbally. Don't be surprised if you notice that an INTJ seems brief when you're talking to them face to face, while they're not as verbose or talkative as they are when they communicate online. 

6] You know that an INTJ regards you as a friend if: At least three times they made sincere effort to send you a message or visit you, asked you for some advice because they respect your frank opinion, or showed you their vulnerable side, feeling comfortable enough to shed tears in front of you. 

7] INTJs find more enjoyment in discussing about the future than the past, more about theories than people's personal issues, and researching solutions rather than ranting. When attending a gathering or conference where most people are blabbering about irrelevant topics, an INTJ mostly remains silent yet observant, and may speak out only if they care enough to correct someone's misinformation. 

8] INTJs are low-maintenance friends who don't obligate their loved ones to reach out 24/7. So if you're a cousin or childhood friend, Alhamdulillah we're still on good terms, meaning I don't hold any grudge against you despite the fact that we haven't spoken to each other for several months or years.

9] INTJs are not clingy. We understand that we can't compel anybody to stay in our circle if they decide to leave anytime for whatever reason. Thus having ex-friends or temporary connections is something we're already used to, and we're not the kind of person who cries over a toxic bond, irrevocable mistake, or failed experiment. If an INTJ can't solve or tolerate a particular problem, we gladly move on, uninterested in looking back on what Allah the Most Wise didn't destine. 

~•~ 

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe (not guilty of backbiting, telling lies, and knowingly committing injustice). The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. 

By the One (Allah the Almighty) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-friendship-with-intjs-what-are.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/tips-eleven-signs-indicating-intj-cares.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-whats-it-like-to-be-intj.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/tips-intj-acquaintance-vs-intj-friend.html 

https://www.crystalknows.com/personality-type/intj 

Poem: Minimize Or Avoid Stress By Doing Every Task For Allah's Sake Only

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Don't be too selfish that when you're stressed you quickly guess 

Or assume you're the only one whose life is a mess. 

There are thousands of other humans who go through tests, 

And, like you, undergo moments when they get upset, 

Anxious, tired, confused, and occasionally depressed. 

~•~

When tons of tasks and documents make you exhausted, 

When you wonder if ever you can settle your debts, 

Or fret over how you'll achieve your goals and projects, 

That other souls worldwide also struggle don't forget. 

You're not the only one on earth who encounters stress. 

~•~

All these and others are familiar with feeling stressed: 

Police officers, security guards, pharmacists, 

Teachers, school managers, administrators, nurses, 

Doctors, surgeons, construction workers, retailers, chefs, 

Students, parents, janitors, drivers, and journalists.

~•~ 

Lessen stress or avoid it with positive mindset. 

Tell yourself often, while trusting Allah, this message: 

"With this job I intend to please Allah, pass His tests, 

And earn halal income so my basic needs are met, 

To support my fam, and assist the less fortunate. 

~•~ 

To serve Allah first and foremost I shall do my best, 

Ensuring that my prayers are never neglected. 

So I don't tag myself as 'stressed out' but passionate 

And dedicated, I always have my niyyah fixed 

To strive just for Allah and gain Jannah's endless rest."

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Nothing afflicts a Muslim of hardship, nor illness, nor anxiety, nor sorrow, nor harm, nor distress, nor even the pricking of a thorn, but that Allah will expiate his sins by it."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5318 

Sahih Muslim 2573

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Sa'd Ibn Abi Waqqas RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, which of the people are most severely tested?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "They are the prophets, then the next best (in terms of piety), then the next best. A man is put to trial according to his Deen/religion. If he is firm in his religion, his trials will be more severe. If he is weak in his religion, he is put to trial according to his strength in religion. The servant will continue to be put to trial until he is left walking upon the earth without any sin."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2398

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

Poem: Some Things You Can Do To Manage Stress As A Muslim

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Thirteen things you can do to cope with stress, as Muslims, 

When duties accumulate and chores become tiring, 

Or when loved ones' problems increase your complications, 

So rather than giving up, you choose to keep going, 

Striving in dunya for Allah until you meet Him: 

~•~

One: Pray on time, so your heart doesn't feel it's missing 

Something. Hearts can't relax if they're stained with guilt and sins. 

Two: Say lots of Adhkaar, in the daytime and evening. 

Say Dhikr in your free time, while working and waiting, 

And let Istighfaar fill up your record of actions.

~•~

Three: Instead of talking to friends prone to gossiping, 

Supplicate to Allah Who sees your situation. 

Four: Frequently read the Qur'an with deep reflection. 

Check the Tafseer to understand the verses' meanings. 

There's special healing when you read the Qur'an often.

~•~

Five: Reflect on the good times, recall Allah's blessings, 

And remember Allah loves Muslims who stay patient. 

Six: Take up lawful hobbies, such as cooking, writing, 

Calligraphy, drawing or sketching non-living things, 

Learning a foreign language, carpentry, and crafting.

~•~

Seven: Seek Islamic knowledge so your faith strengthens. 

Attend Islamic classes, or to lectures listen. 

Eight: Shun music. Keep calm with Qur'an recitations. 

Nine: Take midday naps while hearing Qur'an recordings, 

Or lie in bed and say Dhikr until you're sleeping.

~•~

Ten: Practice positive self-talk, self-affirmation, 

And study articles that boost healthy confidence. 

Eleven: Go out more to view Allah's creation.

Admire how Allah designed nature, trees and oceans. 

Or watch documentaries of Allah's inventions.

~•~

Twelve: Appreciate the senses Allah has given 

In halal ways, like caress furry cats and kittens, 

Gaze at cloudy skies, or take good care of some children.

Thirteen: Be content knowing life is not permanent, 

And pray Jannatul Ferdaus is our destination.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Nothing afflicts a Muslim of hardship, nor illness, nor anxiety, nor sorrow, nor harm, nor distress, nor even the pricking of a thorn, but that Allah will expiate his sins by it."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5318 

Sahih Muslim 2573

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Sa'd Ibn Abi Waqqas RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, which of the people are most severely tested?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "They are the prophets, then the next best (in terms of righteousness), then the next best. A man is put to trial according to his Deen/religion. If he is firm in his religion, his trials will be more severe. If he is weak in his religion, he is put to trial according to his strength in religion. The servant will continue to be put to trial until he is left walking upon the earth without any sin."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2398

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Note: You Have Every Right To Avoid Things And People Who Make You Feel Bad About The Blessings That Allah Gave You

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Imagine an examination hall where students of all grades are seated to answer different sheets of exam depending on their level and competency. If they were given one hour to complete the test, do you think those students who wistfully stare at others' exams can pass theirs well if they utilize their time wanting someone else's papers or fantasizing how nice it would be if they sat closer to the door for a quicker exit, instead of focusing on answering the questions which were allotted to them? No. Similarly, if a contestant in an automobile race kept wishing they had the car of so-and-so, or if an athlete's running speed was decelerated because they were distracted by the well-toned muscles of other runners, is there a guarantee that they'd reach at least the top three rankings? Probably not.

Insecurely keeping a close on eye on other people's lives, while forgetting about improving your own life, is one of the shortcuts to depressed moods or feeling unsatisfied with what Allah the Most Wise chose to give you as a test. You could be enjoying a nice mug of coffee and tuna sandwich until you come across videos on YouTube showcasing popular YouTubers devouring large quantities of edibles to entertain their fans. Or you could be grateful to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala that He blessed you at thirty years old with a loving spouse who tries to earn halal income abroad until you meet a woman your age who married her foreign schoolmate when she was in her teens. 

Jealous feelings usually arise when shaytan cunningly tries to remind you of something that you're lacking, and his aim is to weaken your faith/Imaaan through questioning Allah's Justice and Wisdom. AstaghfurAllah Al-'Atheem. 

To avoid getting triggered by envy and inferiority complex, specially to maintain your spiritual well-being, you have every right to distance yourself from things and individuals who prompt you to feel bad or inadequate regarding the favors which Allah the Most Kind wisely selected for you. 

Don't reluctantly befriend someone whose presence reminds you of your shortcomings while they can't inspire you at all to strengthen your love for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. Unfollow pages online and stop watching unproductively vlogs of materialistic people whose main aspiration is to achieve fame in this fleeting world. 

Listen to your intuition which is a gift from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala to those who strive to be near Him. If socializing with a person or stalking their status updates consistently results in your faith/Imaan getting weaker whenever they're around, then they are not deserving of your full attention. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Look to those below you and do not look at those above you, for it is the best way not to belittle the favors of Allah."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6125

Sahih Muslim 2963

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, who are the best people?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "One with a heart swept clean and truthful in speech." We said, “O Messenger of Allah, we know truthful in speech. What is a heart swept clean?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "One that is mindful of Allah and pure, in which there is no sin, nor aggression, nor envy." We said, “Who shows a sign of it?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "One who hates worldliness and loves the Hereafter." They said, “And who shows a sign of it?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A believer with good character."

Source: Shu’ab Al-Imān 4457

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith and envy do not combine within a believing servant."

In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith are never combined in the heart of a servant."

Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-thank-allah-for-blessings-he-chose.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-pure-hearts-believe-in-allah-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/poem-tips-to-not-get-jealous-of-others.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-tips-on-how-to-manage-negative.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/poem-some-secrets-to-not-feeling.html