بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين

بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين
May Allah the Almighty grant us more beneficial knowledge, accept our good deeds, forgive our mistakes, protect us from fitna, and join us with the righteous believers in Jannatul Ferdaus. Ameen.

Saturday, January 30, 2021

Poem: Tips To Not Feel Intimidated By Arrogant People

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Tips on dealing with those who make you feel inferior, 
Who inflate themselves with extra ego and kibr, 
Pridefully behaving as though they're so much better 
Because the men in their fam are datus or leaders, 
Or they're richer, more good-looking, or simply taller:
~•~
If the arrogant hear your salaams and don't answer, 
Stand firm and await Allah's rewards for your Sabr.
If they react to your simple lifestyle with laughter 
And scorn, respond with contentment with Allah's Qadr, 
Say "Alhamdulillah. I prefer the Hereafter.".
~•~
If they describe you as "destitute" or "poor miser", 
Or mock you can't afford the best of dunya's pleasures, 
Show them you're contented with what Allah has offered, 
You're not competing regarding who is wealthier, 
And Jannah's bliss, not this brief world, is what you're after.
~•~
If fashionistas snub you because you can't master 
The art of make-up, and you're a "frugal", "cheap" shopper, 
Say "Alhamdulillah. My means are part of Qadr. 
I accept what Allah gave from His destined favors. 
Our hearts and faith, not worldly gains, are what more matter.
~•~
If tall snobs look down on you as you're a lot shorter, 
Say "Allahu Akbar. Allah is so much Greater. 
Regardless of their stature, mountains remain bigger 
Than their height and load of pride combined altogether. 
Allah designed us; we're His slaves. What's with the kibr?"
~•~
Feel sorry for the arrogant who are insecure, 
Who live like they can't sweat and their bodies are gold pure, 
Who pretend to be fully perfect and reassure 
Their threatened pride through impolite and rude behavior. 
To not copy their haughtiness they're a reminder.
~•~
May Allah the Almighty grant us good character, 
Guide them too and all Muslims to abstain from kibr 
Which stops one from welcoming advice and reminders. 
Ameen. The first to compare and claim "I am better." 
Was shaytan who loves it when servants act superior.
~•~
📖 Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Allah the Almighty says: "Might is My Garment and Grandeur is My Cloak; whoever competes with Me regarding any of them, I will punish him."”
Source: Sahih Muslim 2620
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise." Someone said, "But a man loves to wear beautiful clothes and shoes." The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people."
In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of faith in his heart will enter Hellfire."
Source: Sahih Muslim 91
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Iyad Ibn Himar RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Verily, Allah has revealed to me that you must be humble towards one another, so that no one wrongs another or arrogantly boasts to another."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2865, Grade: Sahih
📖 Abdullah Ibn Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "While a man was trailing his robe out of vanity (pride), he was suddenly swallowed up and he will be buried in the earth until the Day of Resurrection."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5453
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
📖 Suraqah Ibn Ju’shum RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O Suraqah, shall I tell you about the people of Paradise and Hellfire?" Suraqah said, “Of course, O Messenger of Allah.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "As for the people of Hellfire, it is every hard-hearted, cruel, and arrogant person. As for the people of Paradise, they are the meek and the oppressed."
Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabīr 6589
Grade: Sahih li ghayrihi according to Al-Albani

Poem: What It Means To Be Muslim And Sunni Salafi

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 What does it mean to be a Muslim who's Salafi?
It is to identify oneself with clarity 
As one who strives to adhere to the Sunnah truly 
Of the Messenger Muhammad (SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) with sincerity, 
Supporting the salaf and sahabas correctly.
~•~
From those who strove to follow the Sunnah carefully 
Are Imam Abu Hanifa, Imam Shaafi'ee, 
Imam Maalik, Imam Ahmed, sheikh Al-Albani, 
Sheikh Saleh Al-Fawzaan, sheikh Rabee' Al-Madkhali, 
And Muhammad who compiled Sahih Al-Bukhari.
~•~
To be Salafi is to understand pure Tawheed, 
To believe in the Oneness of Allah Almighty, 
To stay away from shirk and acts of bid'ah fully,
Such as worshipping graves, dancing and chanting wrongly, 
Drawing people, erecting statues, and sorcery.
~•~
Salafis avoid misguided ideologies 
Among which are wearing amulets to feel "lucky", 
Believing that stars and birds can control destiny, 
Placing pebbles in front while praying incorrectly,
And relying on salt to deter witches' misdeeds.
~•~
To be Salafi too is to treat mercifully 
Allah's creation with manners and integrity, 
To respond to salaams, to do Da'wah cheerfully, 
To be kind to the young and respect the elderly, 
And to abstain from injustice and hypocrisy.
~•~
A Salafi trusts Allah's Speech most importantly, 
Values the words of Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) readily, 
Seeks authentic knowledge of Islam consistently, 
Enjoins good deeds, forbids evil, reminds helpfully, 
And ensures one's heart is clean, free from doubts and envy.
~•~
Salafis are humans who err occasionally. 
So if you've met a Salafi who seems unfriendly, 
Take note that's their mistake. They don't represent our Deen.
We're still learning Islam, yearning for Allah's Mercy.
To see Allah and His Prophet (SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) is our goal and dream.
~•~
📖 Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "I have left you with two matters which will never lead you astray, as long as you hold on to them: The Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Prophet (Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam)."
Source: Al-Muwaṭṭa’ 1661
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Ibn Abdul Barr
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam came to a graveyard and he said, “Peace be upon you, the abode of a people who had faith. We, if Allah wills, will join you. I love to see our brothers.” They said, “Are we not your brothers, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “You are my companions, but our brothers are those who have yet to come (in the future, those who steadfastly support the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam without seeing him yet).” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, how will you recognize those people from your nation who have not yet been born?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Suppose a man had horses with white blazes on their foreheads and legs, among horses that are all black. Tell me, would he not recognize his own horses?" They said, “Of course.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "They will come with radiant faces, arms, and legs due to the traces of ablution. I will arrive at the fountain (Al-Kawthar) before them. Some people will be driven away from my fountain, just as a stray camel is driven away. I will call out: 'Come! Come!' But then it will be said to me: 'These people changed themselves (went astray committing acts of bid'ah) after you', and I will say: 'Be off! Be off!'"
Source: Sahih Muslim 249
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "None of you will have faith until I am more beloved to him than his children, his father, and all of the people."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 15
Sahih Muslim 44
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon)
📖 Al-‘Irbad Ibn Sariyah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam prayed with us one day. Then he SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam faced us and delivered an eloquent sermon that brought tears to our eyes and by it shook our hearts. It was said, "O Messenger of Allah, it is as if this is a farewell sermon. What do you instruct for us?" The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "I advise you to fear Allah, listen, and obey, even if an Abyssinian slave is put in charge of you. Whoever lives after me will see many conflicts. You must adhere to my Sunnah and the Sunnah of the righteous, guided successors. Hold firmly to it (to the Sunnah) as though biting with your molar teeth. Beware of newly invented matters, for every newly invented matter is an innovation (Bid'ah) and every innovation is misguidance."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4607
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna’ut
📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "What comes over my nation will surely be what came over the children of Israel, step by step until if one of them fornicated with his mother, one from my nation would do the same. Verily, the children of Israel split into seventy-two sects and my nation will split into seventy-three sects. All of them will be in Hellfire except for one sect." They said, “Who are they, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Those who follow my way and my companions."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2641
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani
https://www.abukhadeejah.com/what-is-salafism-and-salafiyyah/

Hadith: Importance Of Loving The Sunnah Of The Noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam And Warning Against Bid'ah

📖 Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "I have left you with two matters which will never lead you astray, as long as you hold on to them: The Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Prophet (Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam)."
Source: Al-Muwaṭṭa’ 1661
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Ibn Abdul Barr
📖 Al-‘Irbad Ibn Sariyah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam prayed with us one day. Then he SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam faced us and delivered an eloquent sermon that brought tears to our eyes and by it shook our hearts. It was said, "O Messenger of Allah, it is as if this is a farewell sermon. What do you instruct for us?" The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "I advise you to fear Allah, listen, and obey, even if an Abyssinian slave is put in charge of you. Whoever lives after me will see many conflicts. You must adhere to my Sunnah and the Sunnah of the righteous, guided successors. Hold firmly to it (to the Sunnah) as though biting with your molar teeth. Beware of newly invented matters, for every newly invented matter is an innovation (Bid'ah) and every innovation is misguidance."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4607
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna’ut
📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "What comes over my nation will surely be what came over the children of Israel, step by step until if one of them fornicated with his mother, one from my nation would do the same. Verily, the children of Israel split into seventy-two sects and my nation will split into seventy-three sects. All of them will be in Hellfire except for one sect." They said, “Who are they, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Those who follow my way and my companions."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2641
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani

Friday, January 29, 2021

Notes (Islamic Webinar January 2021)

In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
Lecture one:
1) There are two types of shirk: Major shirk/ polytheism which is to associate partners with or instead of Allah the Almighty in worship. And minor shirk which is riyaa or ostentation, to do righteous deeds not intending them to please Allah the Almighty but to impress His servants or show off to the people.
2) It is important to have Ikhlaas / sincerity and to do good deeds sincerely for Allah's sake.
3) Our main purpose in life is to worship our Creator Allah the Almighty, to strive to obey Allah's Commands to our best ability and to avoid what Allah the Most Wise made haraam / forbidden.
4) Another way to ensure the validity and acceptance of our good deeds is to make sure they are in proper accordance to the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam.
5) As Muslims whose main goal in life is to worship only Allah the Almighty, we must abstain from acting as slaves to dinaar or wealth and evil desires. We must always prefer Jannah's eternal joys to this world's temporary pleasures.
Lecture two: 
1) Allahu A'lam. Surah Al-Ikhlaas was revealed to the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam when some people inquired and asked him to describe Allah the Almighty.
2) Allahu A'lam. One of Allah's Magnificent Names "As-Samad" means "The Self-Sufficient Master Who does not need anybody for assistance and Who has no partner nor child."
3) The rewards of reciting Surah Al-Ikhlaas is equivalent to reciting or reading one-third of the Noble Qur'an. 
4) It is Sunnah or recommended to regularly recite Surah Al-Ikhlaas in the second Rak'ah of the two Rak'ahs Sunnah prayers before Fajr prayer and the two Rak'ahs Sunnah prayers after Maghreb prayer.
5) No one and nothing in the universe can ever be compared to Allah the Almighty Who is Above everyone and Above all things.
Lecture three:
1) Part of being sincere to Allah the Almighty and His noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam as Muslims is to be sincere and truthful also to the leaders of the Muslims.
2) It is better and safer to advise the leaders of Muslims privately or in a one-on-one manner instead of publicly scolding and humiliating them which could lead to fitna or chaos in the communities.
3) The Best of speeches is Allah's Word namely the Noble Qur'an and the best of guidance is that of the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam.
4) Importance of consistently striving to read, study and implement the teachings learned from the Noble Qur'an which is a healing and source of mercy and guidance for the believers.
5) Reminder to enjoin right and good deeds for Allah's sake and to prohibit evil acts, and to remind one another to fear Allah the Almighty as mirrors to each other. If a Muslim can't prohibit or stop evil by his hand or physically, he should speak out against it and verbally warn those wrongdoers, and if he is unable to admonish with his voice or writing abilities then he or she must at least hate the wrongdoing from his heart.
Lecture four: 
1) When Allah the Almighty wants goodness for some people, He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala grants them understanding of the Deen and religion.
2) Importance of being sincere and truthful when seeking authentic knowledge of Islam.
3) Sincerely seeking authentic Islamic knowledge leads one closer to Allah's Love and the pathway to Jannah Paradise becomes easier since one is aware of one's responsibilities and duties to Allah the Almighty, what good deeds to do and what evil deeds to stay away from.
4) The term "Fiqh" in Arabic language means understanding or comprehending.
5) Importance of sincerely applying the lessons and knowledge that one has learned and sought for Allah's sake. Learning Islam isn't enough. We should also strive to practice what we preach for Allah's sake and put into action what we have learned.
Lecture five: 
1) From being sincere to Allah the Almighty and His noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam is to know more about His beloved Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and to derive lessons from the life of the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam.
2) Importance of sincerely adhering to the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and to stay away from innovated religious matters or bid'ah and misguidance.
3) The reason why shaytan likes it when Muslims commit acts of bid'ah is that they can easily do Tawbah and repent from sinning while they insist on committing misguided acts of bid'ah assuming they are good actions when in reality they go against Allah's Commands and conflict with the beautiful Sunnah of the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam.
4) Awareness and acknowledgment of the fact that the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam is the leader of all Prophets 'alaihim as-salaam.
5) Success in both worlds and salvation can be obtained by striving to obey Allah and His noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam.
Lecture six: 
1) One of the matters which lead to the hardening of one's heart is deliberate heedlessness or being purposely negligent of one's duties to Allah the Almighty. It is important to strive to maintain strong connection with Allah the Most Merciful through constant Dhikr, Du'as and studying of one's Deen Islam.
2) Stubbornly and pridefully committing sins knowingly can bring about the blackening or darkening of one's heart. The more sins one deliberately commits, the more dark stains or spots also known as the "raan" cover one's heart which could make it more difficult for the dark hearts to accept the truth, identify what's real, and welcome sincere advice.
3) Unnecessarily mingling with the wrong kind of friends or mixing with misguided or ignorant people can lead to hardening of one's heart. Also too much of enjoying the lawful things such as over indulging in permissible acts like eating and sleeping could lead to hardening of one's heart as they may imply that the person is more attached to this temporal dunya when they should give preference to striving to attain Jannah's entry.
4) There is a piece of flesh which if it is sound or good then the whole body becomes sound or good. It is the heart. When one's heart is pure and in good condition aiming to please Only Allah the Almighty, one's actions will reciprocally be busy in carrying out good deeds that can benefit one's soul in both worlds.
5) Importance of regularly remembering death and striving to be prepared to meet Allah the Almighty hoping for a good ending. May Allah the Most Merciful take us while He is Pleased with us and we've done enough good deeds that make us worthy of Jannatul Ferdaus. Ameen.
Lecture seven: 
1) From being sincere to Allah the Almighty is to be sincere and truthful also to His servants and creation.
2) Importance of showing respect to the elderly, being merciful to the youngsters and striving to maintain good character for Allah's sake.
3) When you give advice or when a Muslim requests for advice, it is important that you give them honest, sincere and helpful advice while genuinely caring for their well-being.
4) Importance of trying one's utmost to fullfil the rights of Muslims one of which is to answer their salaams and respond to their invitations. If one is unable to attend an event or gathering, one should at least apologize and provide clarification regarding one's inability to be present.
5) A person's faith/Imaan is incomplete or deficient if they do not strive to love what is good for the believers. None of you truly believes until they love for his brother what they love for themselves. Allah the Almighty knows best.
Lecture eight:
1) Naseeha means "advice" or "sincerity" and to want what is best for the one you are advising or being sincere to.
2) Those in authority are the leaders and rightly guided scholars. It is important to be sincere and truthful to the Muslims and those in leadership positions, avoiding unjust rebellion and anything that could trigger fitna.
3) Safety and salvation in both worlds is also in trying one's best to obey Allah the Almighty and His noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, and in avoiding rebelling against those with authority.
4) If an Imaam wants to advise the leaders of the Muslims, it is better that he gives sincere advice to the general rather than specifying and mentioning the leader's name thereby humiliating the leader and inviting fitna.
5) The saved sect or group or al-firqa an-naajiya are those sincere believers who strive to follow the Sunnah of the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam.
Lecture nine:
1) If we truly love Allah the Almighty, then we must also love His noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam by following his Sunnah and beautiful character. 
2) When 'Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha was asked to describe the character of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, she RadhiAllahu 'anha said that his character SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam was the Noble Qur'an which means that his overall character was in perfect alignment with the commands mentioned in the Noble Qur'an and with the noteworthy qualities mentioned in the Noble Qur'an.
3) From having good character is to patiently mingle with the people and be understanding, forgiving and lenient with them for Allah's sake, while trying one's utmost to abstain from unnecessary anger.
4) Part of having genuine good character is to enjoin right and forbid what is wrong. Virtues of Surah Al-'Asr in which the true believers are those who encourage each other to be patient and who motivate one another to be upon the truth, which is inclusive of good character.
5) One of the means to attaining and maintaining good character is to carefully choose good Muslim friends who genuinely portray actual good character without any deceit and fakery. A pious friend who truly fears Allah the Almighty and who strives to treat Allah's servants well can be a positive influence to one's overall well-being, faith/Imaan and good character.
http://bit.ly/WISwebinar4-recordedaudios
https://drive.google.com/drive/mobile/folders/1laEWjPrK0lW23F4ZOi_OJB1Es849OOoU
https://m.facebook.com/WIS.Davao/video_grid/?playlist_id=416830429751044

Thursday, January 28, 2021

Poem: Warning To Fathers, Brothers And Uncles To Avoid Marrying Off Their Womenfolk Against Their Will

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 To fathers and brothers who care for their womenfolk,
Who threaten their daughters or sisters that if they don't
Marry the guy they chose, they'll be kicked out and disowned, 
Against their will like they're commodities to be sold.
~•~
Why are you rushing in trying to get them disposed?
The mahr/dowry is for them, not for you to own.
Their willingness to marry only they can control.
No blessings can be gained in a marriage that is forced.
~•~
Have you forgotten what the Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) told? 
That the best of men are those kind to their womenfolk, 
Their moms, sisters, daughters, nieces, females young and old.
Their right to decide if they should marry don't withhold.
~•~
To those who threaten with weapons feeling tough and bold, 
What caused you to act in a way that's unkind and cold?
They're your sisters and daughters whose ties you must uphold. 
Real men won't want their women to be hurt nor injured.
~•~
If you think you have a friend or colleague who is worth 
Being your brother-in-law, then advise, don't enforce.
Encourage your sister or daughter and let her know 
Of his merits, joy of marriage, and Sabr's rewards.
~•~
Remind her that it's after nikaah she'll learn to love, 
She'll gradually get used to loving her other half, 
Specially if righteous kids Allah wills them to have.
Inspire her to consider the man. Don't break her heart.
~•~
And if your efforts to motivate her didn't work, 
As she's not ready or she hates how he looks or works, 
Respect her choice. Console the guy. You're done with your part 
Of striving, for Allah, to care for your womenfolk.
~•~
📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, should women be asked for their consent (permission) before marriage?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Yes.” I said, “Indeed, sometimes a virgin is too shy to speak when asked.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Her silence is her consent."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6547
Sahih Muslim 1420
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The best of you are the best to their women."
Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 1978
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
https://www.abukhadeejah.com/a-woman-being-married-against-her-will-forced-marriage/
https://www.abukhadeejah.com/a-woman-cannot-be-forced-into-marriage-the-book-of-marriage-buloogh-al-maraam-explanation-of-shaikh-al-fawzaan/
https://www.abukhadeejah.com/the-consent-of-woman-before-marriage-is-essential-and-she-cannot-give-herself-away-in-marriage/