Note: INTJs, Bullying And Some Tips On How To Deal With Bullies

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: As an INTJ personality type, did you ever go through bullying at school? What advice can you give on dealing with bullies? 

📝 Answer: Being the only Filipino among large classrooms of Saudi and Arab females at the Arabic (private and public) schools I went to back in Riyadh city, yes, I was usually bullied by a few students. I usually had some of my money stolen or missing from my bag, was regularly laughed at when somebody would loudly pronounce my full name incorrectly, and every now and then almost wherever I went around the school there'd be a number of girls from different grade levels rudely staring at me, giggling or calling me in Arabic "Chinese" (Sseeniyyah), "Japanese" (Yaabaaniyyah), Filipina (Filibbeeniyyah) and on one occasion "French" (Faransiyyah). Imagine a Sri Lankan student with dark skin walking around the halls while random students frequently yell out "African!", "Yo blackie!" and "Chocolate mousse". It wouldn't be fun if you were in that student's place. 

I remember one instance when I was trying to pull out a folding seat at a school bus and this chubby girl was purposely preventing me from sitting beside her. Alhamdulillah after a few minutes of struggling to sit properly, an older student motioned me to be seated near her at the back. 

Eventually when I realized the negative impact of being bullied by two or three students when I was in elementary school, I informed my loving parents (Allah yarhamhuma. Ameen.) about what was going on. Alhamdulillah they were able to solve the bullying issue, with my dear mom (Allah yarhamha. Ameen.) actually contacting some of the administrators and female staff to handle the problem directly. 

I find it strange that in spite of all the times when several students would laugh at me for looking different, for my nationality and for the way my surname sounds, I couldn't feel offended and distraught at all, as if easily getting hurt when criticized for how Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala created me isn't one of my functions. Although some students and teachers would often scowl or burst into laughter when I'd do something which they'd consider silly, particularly since I struggled to communicate well in Arabic language, I remained emotionally undisturbed and unaffected by how I was perceived by people, not knowing that being an INTJ personality type could be why I generally seemed "unemotional". 

✅ Some tips on dealing with bullying (Advice to kids, teens and those young at heart): 

1] Maintain strong connection with Allah the Almighty Who sees everything which occurs on earth and Who always deals with His servants justly. Whenever you have problems, seek guidance and help from Allah Who knows how to answer your Du'as wisely. 

2] Understand why bullies act like they enjoy bullying when in reality, deep down inside, they feel miserable, awful and guilty about behaving irrationally. A lot of them likely misbehave due to their struggles with abusive parents, disappointing academic performance or older siblings who bully them in their homes, or some aspects about you cause them to feel jealous and insecure.

3] A ) Stubbornly ignore toxic people until they get tired of bullying you. Don't pay attention to their idiotic attempts at grabbing your attention which they probably couldn't receive from their parents who didn't do very well in teaching them good manners. 

B ) Confidently talk back and defend yourself if you believe that doing so won't cause more trouble than if you stayed silent and indifferent. Your bullies may start liking you if they notice that you're capable of defending what you value. 

C ) Tell at least two adults whom you can trust about what's bothering you instead of keeping the bullying problem a secret. 

4] Do some research on how others effectively tackled bullying without intending to injure anybody. If you can't make a friend out of a bully, avoid interacting with them as much as possible, and when you must speak, be concise unapologetically. 

5] Steadfastly believe that all humans (and jinns) will be rewarded and requited for their actions if not sooner in this world then later on the Day of Judgment. A sense of relief can be felt when you know that, with Allah's Will, the outcomes of people's actions ultimately return to them at the most ideal timing.

~•~

📖 Abdullah Bin Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hands the Muslims are safe."

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Bukhari 10 Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi

📖 Amr Ibn Absah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what is Islam?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "That you surrender your heart to Allah and that the Muslims are safe from your tongue and hands."

Source: Shu'ab Al-Imān 20 Grade: Sahih 

📖 Abu Nadrah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "O people, your Rabb (Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) is One and your father Adam ('alaihis salaam) is one. There is no favor of an Arab over a foreigner (non-Arab), nor a foreigner over an Arab, and neither white skin over black skin, nor black skin over white skin, except by (Taqwa) righteousness. Have I not delivered the message?"

Source: Musnad Ahmed 22978 

Grade: Sahih 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/tips-on-dealing-with-adult-bullying.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-how-most-intjs-would-respond-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-advice-on-how-not-to-get-offended.html 

https://abukhadeejah.com/allah-has-forbidden-oppression-for-himself-and-has-forbidden-it-for-the-people-hadith-qudsi/ 

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-you-handle-bullying-based-on-your-personality-type/ 

Tips: Some Signs Of Riyaa And How To Avoid It

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Signs that a person is guilty of riyaa (deliberately doing good deeds to show off): 

You can't really judge, since Only Allah the Almighty knows what's actually inside the hearts and thoughts of His servants. 

⚠️ Some signs that you may be guilty of riyaa (which you can repent from), and you know yourself more than other individuals do: 

1] You seldom or never purify your niyyah / intention before doing a deed which can bring you closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. When doing some righteous actions, such as praying or fasting, your real motive is not to please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala but to complete them as religious customs, following in the footsteps of your parents, or to intentionally showcase to some people that you're more pious than them. 

2] When ridiculed, ostracized or criticized for doing a particular good deed, such as pausing an activity to pray on time or sharing Islamic reminders, you put a stop to it. You're eager to do a good deed only if enough number of individuals clearly show support and grant approval. 

3] You feel reluctant to do a good deed, such as praying in the Masjid and attending an Islamic lecture, unless you're fully certain that there's an audience watching. 

4] You can't deny that most of the people who are acquainted with you perceive you as a practicing Muslim yet behind the scenes you enjoy committing several sins such as watching indecent films, listening to music as a hobby, and knowingly carrying out dhulm / oppression / injustice against many of Allah's creation. 

5] You don't bother asking Allah the Most Powerful to protect you from major and minor shirk / polytheism. You generally act as if you're so sure that all of your good deeds done publicly will be accepted and you'd succeed on the Day of Judgment without any questioning. 

🛡️ What you can do, with Allah's Will, to be shielded from riyaa: 

1] Always purify your niyyah / intention before doing obligatory (waajib and fardh), voluntary (Sunnah and mustahabb), and lawful (halal and permissible) deeds, intending to do them just to attain Allah's Love and Mercy, not to impress Allah's slaves or to feel amazed with oneself. 

2] Don't be self-conscious and too concerned about how people see you when doing any good deed sincerely for Allah's sake. Patiently continue striving even if some suspect your intention or critics deride your choices, values and beliefs. 

3] Consistently seek help from Allah the Most Merciful and pray that He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala blesses you with Ikhlaas (sincerity), steadfastness and accepted good deeds. 

4] Strive to increase doing secret good deeds for Allah's sake, righteous actions (including praying Tahajjud / Qiyaam Al-Layl, saying Du'a, and fasting Sunnah fasts often) without notifying any human being that you've done them. 

5] Occasionally review the knowledge that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala gave you regarding warnings against shirk / polytheism and recall why riyaa is dangerous and forbidden. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A man asked the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, “What is faith (Imaan)?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If you are happy with your good deeds and saddened by your bad deeds, then you are a believer." The man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what is sin?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If something waivers in your soul (makes you feel uncertain / doubtful), then you must leave it."

Source: Musnad Ahmed 21695

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam came to us while we were discussing the False Messiah (the dajjaal). 

The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Shall I not tell you about my greater fear for you than the False Messiah?" We said, “Of course!” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "It is hidden idolatry (inconspicuous shirk / minor polytheism / riyaa), that a man stands for prayer and beautifies his prayer when he sees another man looking at him."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4204

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Ma'qil Ibn Yasar RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I departed with Abu Bakr RadhiAllahu 'anhu to meet the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam. The Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O Abu Bakr, there is (polytheism / shirk) idolatry among you more hidden than the crawling of an ant." Abu Bakr RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, “Is there idolatry (shirk) other than to make another god alongside Allah?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "By the One (Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) in Whose Hand is my soul, there is idolatry more hidden than the crawling of an ant. Shall I not tell you something to say to rid you of it both minor and major? Say: 'O Allah, I seek refuge in You that I associate partners with You while I know, and I seek Your Forgiveness for what I do not know.'"

Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 715

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://preciousgemsfromthequranandsunnah.wordpress.com/2018/12/16/dua-for-protection-from-shirk-a-very-important-dua/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/poem-importance-of-doing-good-deeds-for.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/note-importance-of-doing-good-deeds.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-reminder-to-myself-and-others-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-good-deeds-must-be-done-sincerely.html 

https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/12504/%D8%AD%D9%82%D9%8A%D9%82%D8%A9-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B1%D9%8A%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D9%88%D9%83%D9%8A%D9%81%D9%8A%D8%A9-%D8%AA%D8%AC%D9%86%D8%A8%D9%87

Tips: Some Tips To Prepare Oneself For Ramadan

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Some tips to prepare oneself for Ramadan:

1] Review your knowledge about the virtues and importance of fasting in Ramadan. Read some articles from reliable sources or listen to Islamic lectures about why Muslims fast in Ramadan and how to be prepared for this blessed month.

2] Put in your heart and make the intention that you eagerly look forward to fasting in Ramadan, not out of habit but to sincerely obey Allah’s Command as a dedicated Muslim.

3] Look back on how you performed in the previous Ramadan and reflect on how you can

Inn-sha-Allah perform much better than before in this upcoming month.

4] Ensure that you have completed fasting all of your missed obligatory fasts.

5] If you habitually fast every other Monday and Thursday, continue doing so for Allah’s sake particularly since it is still Sha’baan.

6] Prepare in advance your Ramadan schedule, Inn-sha-Allah with an aim to be more productive, focused and aware of which tasks need to be prioritized.

7] Sincerely from within, for Allah’s sake, forgive every human being who has mistreated you in the past and, if you’re strong enough, unblock all of the users who are currently on your lists of blocked users (on social media). It doesn’t make sense to request Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala for things you want and need while purposely blocking a large number of individuals. Although you’re not closely associated with some people anymore, it is recommended to maintain good manners with every soul whom Allah the Most Wise decrees you’d meet.

~•~

📖 Ibn Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Whenever the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam saw the new crescent moon, he would say, "Allah is the Greatest! O Allah, bring it over us with safety and faith, peace and Islam, and guidance to what our Rabb (Allah) loves and is pleased with. Our Rabb (Allah) and your Rabb is Allah." ["Allahu Akbar. Allahumma ahillahu 'alaynaa bil-amni wal Imaan, wa as-salaamati wa al-Islaam, wa at-tawfeequ limaa Tuhebbu wa Tardaa, Rabbunaa wa RabbukAllah. Ameen."]

Source: Sunan Al-Dārimī 1729

Grade: Sahih li ghayrihi according to Al-Arna’ut

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever fasts the month of Ramadan due to faith (Imaan) and (sincerely) seeking reward (from Allah the Almighty), his previous sins will be forgiven. Whoever stands in prayer during the Night of Decree (Laylat Al-Qadr) due to faith and seeking reward, his previous sins will be forgiven."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1901

Sahih Muslim 760

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The five prayers, Friday to Friday, and Ramadan to Ramadan will expiate the sins committed between them, as long as the major sins are avoided."

Source: Sahih Muslim 233

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/note-start-fasting-for-allahs-sake-in_10.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/hadith-virtues-of-ramadan.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/tips-some-suggested-tab-titles-or.html

https://abukhadeejah.com/fasting-in-ramadan-what-does-it-mean-why-do-we-fast-what-is-gained/

https://abukhadeejah.com/important-ramadan-fasting-and-moonsighting-questions-to-the-scholar-the-sheikh-dr-salih-al-fawzan/

➤ Ramadan Qur’an reading schedule:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1DctF-0MbCL0S6b0f489XN4JIP6_nktD6/view?usp=drivesdk

➤ Ramadan Qur’an reading schedule (recommended for Muslim kids and those who are still learning how to read Arabic text):

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1j7sMHjd3_2MWSc-mbkGfbzadsRZkNzIr/view?usp=drivesdk

Note: INTJ Personality Types And Holding Grudges

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: As an INTJ personality type, do you hold grudges?

📝 Answer: While there are a number of individuals whom I despise for Allah's sake, my resentment isn't due to emotional reasons. It's possible for me to continue loving some Muslims for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aa, such as my spouse and relatives, even if they've done or said things in the past which many people may find "offensive". What causes me to be disinterested in building a friendship with some females is when they've clearly indicated they are untrustworthy, unreliable and too toxic to interact with that attempting to connect with them brings more disadvantages to my overall well-being than merits. 

Three examples of acquaintances whom I had to unfriend unapologetically, without specifying their names: 

1] Someone who proved that they can never be trusted by making the mistake of asking me to collect change for a certain amount of money. After searching around for some change, I realized that she already paid the delivery guy using some of her savings and the payment he received was a lot more than the actual price of items she ordered on our behalf. She could've waited until I arrived. What caused me to dislike her even more is the fact she's willing to purchase products online without asking for any receipt. 

2] An older female who frequently tells stories about random moments she enjoys with her husband, as if indirectly she's emphasizing that her spouse is better than mine, when I'm not desperate to compete with her (or anybody else concerning marriage) in the first place. I loathe how she's incapable of teaching me anything about Islam yet when it comes to describing numerous times how fabulous her husband is, she acts all pretentiously enthusiastic and talkative. Looking forward to learning something valuable and gaining advice from somebody in their 40s only for them to act more immature than kindergartners flaunting their colorful scribbles isn't worth tolerating. 

3] An individual whose name I've been acquainted with for more than five years. Alhamdulillah after giving her countless chances to reform, I decided to regard her as another stranger when she'd persist in doing the same mistakes which I warned her against. No decent individual would want to be besties with troublesome clowns that take pleasure in disturbing the peace and tossing tomatoes at them. 

Although I've forgiven all of those who have intentionally and unknowingly disappointed me before, specially before the noble month Ramadan returns, I refuse to indulge in gossiping about them, doing what I can to spoil their public image and plotting ways to get even. I'll still answer their salaams, meet them with a polite smile and provide assistance if necessary, without eagerness to become "close friends", particularly after discovering that they're mostly a bad influence. 

If you wish to be closer to Allah the Almighty and join those believers who make it to Jannah Paradise without any penalty, it is illogical to waste your energy and resources on forming connections with anybody who's not authentic, supportive and trustworthy.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is not stung twice from the same hole." 

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5782 

Sahih Muslim 2998 

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-three-reasons-why-we-cannot-click.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/02/tips-ways-to-tell-if-your-grudge-is-due.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/note-five-reasons-why-we-cant-vibe-well.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-long-you-hold-a-grudge-according-to-your-personality-type/ 

https://personalitygrowth.com/how-you-handle-feelings-of-resentment-based-on-your-personality-type/

Tips: Advice On How Not To Regret Your Decision To Discontinue Building Friendship With Some People

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Five tips to not feeling regretful at all about your decision to stop trying to stay friends with certain people: 

1] Recall all the negative qualities of those ex-friends and the very reasons why you've finally decided to emotionally disconnect from them. 

2] Appreciate the good outcomes of detaching from those toxic individuals. Acknowledge the fact that the blessings and benefits of no longer being close to them outweigh the disadvantages of discontinuing such unreliable connection. 

3] Totally unfollow their social media accounts and don't bother asking anybody about details regarding their current circumstances. If somebody informed you of their wedding or recent travel to another country, refrain from collecting any information which won't improve your overall well-being. Nothing valuable can be obtained by frequently attempting to make sense of nonsensical nightmares.

4] Patiently accept that Allah the Almighty decreed such connection to cease at some point. If Allah the Most Wise saw any goodness in them for you and your faith / Imaan, the friendship would've remained intact. 

5] Contentedly understand that the cessation or disappearance of a character's role from one chapter does not signify a story's ending. If you were able to survive in your younger years without them, your choice to quit considering them as a friend after less than five years mustn't be a problem, especially if their vibes and presence fail to inspire you to become a better Muslim.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is not stung twice from the same hole."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5782

Sahih Muslim 2998

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan." 

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-allah-almighty-controls-all-things.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/03/poem-no-regrets-in-cancelling.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-tips-on-how-not-to-regret-letting.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-toxic-friendships-which-we-cease.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/note-five-signs-indicating-it-is.html