📜 Question: To what extent can I be friendly with my husband's brothers? If he happens to be my cousin, can I still socialize with them?
📝 Answer: A Muslimah's male cousin, whether
maternal or paternal, isn't a mahram. A mahram is someone whom you are not
allowed to marry due to extreme close ties.
✔ The following are your mahrams who are not marriageable
for you and it is halal/permissible for them to accompany you for travel or
Hajj/pilgrimage:
Your father, your grandfather, your father's brothers
(paternal uncles), your mother's brothers (maternal uncles), your brothers,
your half brothers, your foster brothers (who were breastfed by the same
nursing mother as you), the sons of your brothers, the sons of your sisters,
your father-in-law, your own husband and own sons.
❌ These are not mahrams to you: Your male cousins from
your mother's side, your male cousins from your father's side, your father's
stepbrothers, your mother's stepbrothers, your half brother's male relatives,
your foster brother's male relatives, the nephews and male cousins of your
husband who isn't your cousin, your stepbrother from a different parent, your
husband's brothers even if they are younger or a lot older than you.
✔ With your male mahrams you're allowed to: travel with them,
be alone in the same vehicle or building with them, shake their hands, show
your hair in front of them, joke and be friendly with them, look at them while
talking, poke to get their attention or hug them when they return from
traveling.
❌ With males who are not your mahram, it is
haraam/forbidden: to be alone with them in a room or building, to be overly
friendly, to have one-on-one dialogues online and offline which could lead to
fitna, to look at them directly in their eyes for long periods, to touch them
in any way or take group photos with them even if your intention is to promote
"Da'wah".
Since your husband's brothers are not your mahram, you
can't treat them like they're your close friends. As much as possible try your
best to minimize interacting with them. If you live in a large residence where
each couple has their own bedroom and all the relatives dine together, continue
lowering your gaze whenever you can instead of casually exchanging eye contact
with your male in-laws and unnecessarily being too talkative with them. If they
say salaam, you may respond quickly without staring at them. If they ask you
some questions, you can answer briefly. Don't be the first to initiate a
conversation if chatting with them is completely unnecessary (e.g. "So how
was your work? Can you teach me how to cook the yummy spaghetti you made? How
many kids do you and your wife wish to have? What's your favorite color? What
time are you usually free so we can chit-chat on Facebook?"). Also
maintain proper hijab when you're around them.
Even if some of your relatives claim you're
"arrogant", "weird" or they call you a "black
sheep" for distancing yourself from your male in-laws and avoiding
anything that could lead to fitna, stay steadfast for Allah's sake, and be
content that you're trying your best to please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and
preserving your Deen, although it may cause some people to be angry. So long as
you strive to obey Allah with sincerity, you shouldn't feel bothered by the
criticism of people when you simply want to obey Allah's Commands and maintain
modesty.
📖 Narrated `Uqba Ibn 'Amir RadhiAllahu 'anhu
narrated: Allah's Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said,
"Beware of entering upon the ladies." A man from the Ansaar said,
"O' Allah's Messenger! What about Al-Hamu (the male in-laws of the wife
like the brothers of her husband or his nephews etc.)?" The Prophet
SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam answered: The in-laws of the wife are death
itself.Reference: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5232In-book reference: Book 67, Hadith 165USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith
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