💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Seven misconceptions / wrong opinions about polygyny in Islam:
1🔹 "Polygyny is much better than monogamy" or "polygynists are more superior to those married to only one wife":
During the marriage of the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam to his first wife Khadija bint Khuwaylid RadhiAllahu 'anha, he SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam didn't marry anybody else for several years until after some time she passed away. This proves that being married to one wife can be as blessed and rewarding as being wed to multiple wives.
A marriage in which a Muslim is entirely satisfied taking good care of just one wife is better in quality and barakah than a polygynous marriage where some or all of the wives are not being treated well with wisdom and justice.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1162
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi
2🔹 "A wife can threaten her husband with divorce and taking his kids if he ever shows interest in remarrying":
Her husband's willingness to have another wife, specially if he wishes to have more righteous children from another nationality or tribe, while he is financially capable of sustaining multiple wives, with a sense of responsibility, is not a valid excuse for a wife to demand separation.
📖 Thawban RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce when it is not absolutely necessary, the fragrance of Paradise will be forbidden to her."
Grade: Sahih (Darussalam) Reference: Sunan Ibn Majah 2055
In-book reference: Book 10, Hadith 40
English translation: Vol. 3, Book 10, Hadith 2055
3🔹 "A man can have threesome or group sex with the women whom he married legally" or "A man can let his wife observe him and his other wife make love for the sake of entertainment or to take lessons":
Group sex or threesome in Islam is not allowed because it involves lesbian acts and one woman looking at the private parts of the other woman. A lot of animals wouldn't even attempt such a thing (mating with several partners in one setting) so why would a Muslim want to do something disturbingly revolting.
📖 Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man should not look at the nakedness (private parts) of another man, and a woman should not look at the nakedness (private parts) of another woman. A man should not lie with another man under a single blanket, and a woman should not lie with another woman under a single blanket."
Source: Sahih Muslim 338
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
4🔹 "Fairness in polygyny signifies that whatever a man gives to one wife, whether a gift or quality time, he must give that very same thing to each of his other wives":
It doesn't make sense for a newly married Muslimah to be treated in the exact same manner as her husband's other wife/wives. A Muslim doesn't have to immediately go on a special date with his first wife simply because he went on a vacation with his most recent bride.
Imagine three boxes that are full of equal number of bananas, then bring another empty box. If you wanted to be fair, would you add five more bananas to the other full boxes just because you filled the fourth one with five bananas? No. You'd give it special attention because it isn't as filled yet as the others.
If a man's third wife is physically disabled and he buys her a new wheelchair, does that mean it's obligatory for him to buy his first and second wives wheelchairs to make sure he's not being unfair? No. If his first wife has health issues, she's infertile and incapable of enjoying sexual intimacy with him always, does a husband have to enforce her to have sex just because he spent one night with his second wife? No. A Muslim can, for Allah's sake, try his best to be fair with his wives by ensuring that they receive what they require at the right time, based on each wife's needs and current condition, and none of them is being deliberately neglected.
📖 Abdullah Ibn Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them. The servant of a man is a guardian of the property of his master and he is responsible for it. No doubt, every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6719
Sahih Muslim 1829
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
5🔹 "Prior to accepting a guy's marriage proposal, a woman can make it a ruling that her husband isn't permitted to remarry, and if she ever finds out that he has another wife, she can instantly request for divorce":
Polygyny or being married to more than one wife is something which Allah the Almighty made halal/permissible for Muslim men who are capable and responsible. We humans don't have any entitlement to prohibit what Allah the Most Wise has made lawful.
📖 Al-Nu'man Ibn Bashir RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, the lawful (halal) is clear and the unlawful (haraam) is clear, and between the two of them are doubtful matters about which many people do not know. Thus, he who avoids the doubtful matters safeguards himself in regard to his religion and his honor, and he who falls into the doubtful (questionable, unclear) matters will fall into the unlawful as the shepherd who pastures near a sanctuary, all but grazing therein. Verily, every king has a sanctum and the sanctum of Allah is His prohibitions. Verily, in the body is a piece of flesh which, if sound, the entire body is sound, and if it is corrupt, the entire body is corrupt. Truly, it is the heart."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 52, Sahih Muslim 1599
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
6🔹 "A man can marry again without notifying his first wife, and lie to his new wife that he's 'single' to protect the two marriages" or "it's okay for a man to marry in secrecy if his intention is to prevent his other wives from feeling hurt or stopping him from remarrying":
A Muslim doesn't need the permission or agreement of his first wife to remarry, and a wedding which takes place in a secretive way wherein the few guests attending are requested to keep such marriage a secret, doesn't receive the same blessings as marriages which are known to the public specially to one's relatives.
Sins, such as masturbating and watching porn, are usually actions which you don't want certain individuals to find out. Couples who had a "secret wedding" should ask themselves why they felt so ashamed of letting their loved ones know that they married lawfully.
📖 Abdullah Ibn Al-Zubayr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Announce the marriage."
Source: Sahih Ibn Ḥibbān 4066
Grade: Hasan
7🔹 "All the wives of a Muslim are obliged to attend the wedding of his fourth wife" or "a man can obligate his wives to share one bedroom or live together in the same house regardless if some of them don't get along":
As long as your husband isn't commanding you to directly disobey any of Allah's Orders, you have every right to say no to your husband's personal demands if they harm your overall emotional and physical well-being or following some of his commands contradicts your values. It's not a must to become besties with a co-wife if you believe that she has a bad habit of gossiping about others and her toxic personality drains you emotionally.
📖 Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Do not cause harm or return harm. Whoever harms others, Allah will harm him. Whoever is harsh with others, Allah will be harsh with him."
Source: Al-Sunan Al-Kubrá 11070
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani
https://abdurrahman.org/2014/10/06/polygyny-having-more-than-one-wife-is-the-sunnah-shaykh-bin-baaz/
https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/16999/%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%89-%D8%AD%D8%AF%D9%8A%D8%AB-%D8%A7%D9%8A%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A9-%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82
https://www.abukhadeejah.com/polygamy-in-islam-better-than-being-alone/
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/poem-from-signs-of-pious-wives-is-they.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-to-those-not-strong-enough-to.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-my-answer-to-what-made-you-accept.html
https://youtu.be/QUQlbKOJbKo
https://youtu.be/9tVsiWWZEWI
