๐ In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
๐ Three examples of scenarios to demonstrate there are better ways to speak with your husband to show him the respect which he deserves, and to avoid unnecessary arguments that could lead to marital abuse:
1] If you notice your husband resting on the sofa, watching vlogs on his cellphone or playing some games to de-stress, instead of saying:
๐ซ "So that's what you do all day? A baby in a lazy adult's body likes to waste its lifetime spying on strangers' lives because your life is that awfully low, pathetic, and meaningless? Stop wasting your curiosity on people who have nothing to do with you, loser, and walk to the Masjid now."
๐จ️ say, "Darling, did you hear the Adhaan? It's time for Salah. You can perform wudhu (ablution) and pray first, then relax with me later for a while.".
2] If you caught your husband quickly closing some applications and he switches to an Islamic program once you entered the room, instead of saying:
๐ซ "I saw that, you lying jerk. Stop acting as if you're innocent. You're talking to strange women again, huh? If not with females, then you must be flirting with some faggots, yes? Who were you chatting with a while ago? Tinky-Winky? Dipsy? Laa-Laa? Po?"
๐จ️ say, "Honey (or just state his real name to lessen the cringe effect), you know that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala sees us all the time, right? Well, I'm just reminding you to ensure that online and offline we, as Muslims, must strive to have Taqwa at all times. Allah the All-Knowing is the One Who rewards and punishes, not jinn nor humankind."
3] If your husband, on one stormy night, arrives late from work to inform you that he lost his job, instead of saying:
๐ซ "Yo! What took you so long?! You had me waiting for ages! No dinner tonight because I gobbled up all the food and left nothing for you, because why should I babysit a boring guy who's more useless than the tiny eraser on a cheaply designed pencil? I'm not speaking to you until you've found a new profession.".
๐จ️ say, "Dear husband/zawjee [or lovingly address him with his nickname], I understand you're incredibly tired. We can discuss about what happened at work tomorrow
Inn-sha-Allah afternoon when you feel more energetic. This is only a brief test from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. Alhamdulillah you still have Islam, you still have me - your loyal wife - and our adorable kids.".
๐️ Not every single emotion must be acted on. Sometimes it's wiser to keep certain feelings to yourself while maintaining a cheerful countenance whenever you interact with your husband. That's not being fake and hypocritical, but courageous and determined to please Allah the Most Wise, through patiently respecting your husband, much more than pride and selfish desires.
~•~
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātih 5/2125
๐ Narrated Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: On Eid-ul-Fitr or Eid-ul-Adha, Allah's Messenger SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam went out to the Musalla. After finishing the prayer, he delivered the sermon and ordered the people to give alms (charity). He said, "O people! Give alms." Then he went towards the women and said. "O women! Give alms, for I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-Fire were you (women)." The women asked, "O Allah's Messenger! What is the reason for it?" He replied, "O women! You curse frequently, and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. O women, some of you can lead a cautious wise man astray." Then he left. And when he reached his house, Zainab, the wife of Ibn Mas`ud, came and asked permission to enter It was said, "O Allah's Messenger! It is Zainab." He asked, 'Which Zainab?" The reply was that she was the wife of Ibn Mas'ud. He said, "Yes, allow her to enter." And she was admitted. Then she said, "O Prophet of Allah! Today you ordered people to give alms and I had an ornament and intended to give it as alms, but Ibn Mas`ud said that he and his children deserved it more than anybody else." The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied, "Ibn Mas`ud had spoken the truth. Your husband and your children had more right to it than anybody else."
Sahih Al-Bukhari 1462
In-book reference: Book 24, Hadith 65
USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 2, Book 24, Hadith 541
https://www.abukhadeejah.com/what-makes-a-man-happy-and-what-makes-him-miserable/
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/poem-love-your-husband-patiently-for.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-dear-muslim-wife-understand-that.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/note-patiently-understand-and-empathize.html
