๐ In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
๐️ Seven signs that a cliquish group of acquaintances is too toxic for you, while quality time with Allah the Almighty is so much better for your well-being:
1] You yourself have witnessed that many, if not all, of this group's members have a bad tendency to cowardly criticize certain individuals behind their backs and a lot of their conversations involve lousy gossip.
2] If they manage a group chat or link to an online meeting (via Zoom, Skype, Google Meet etc.), you notice that most of the members are not reliably communicative, as if they have another exclusive group chat or link where they converse with one another while you're deliberately excluded.
3] You have observed that attempting to have meaningful dialogues with most of the members of this group often makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable, because they're either clearly nervous around you, intimidated by your confidence, or simply they are incapable of comprehending your spoken language. It's obvious you're the one mostly talking while they're distracted by their phone, daydreaming, or failing at figuring out what you're saying.
4] You admit that since you're not close friends with many, if not all, of the members of this group, you don't bother visiting their Facebook walls. Several months would pass by while you remain completely uninterested in checking out their frequent status updates. After your initial discovery of their social media accounts, you realize the kind of content they regularly share can't inspire you at all to become a better Muslim.
5] Even if they've conducted a number of gatherings without you in the past, you don't feel as though you're missing out on anything because with or without them in your life there's no considerable difference. Imagine having a solo picnic at a large park while a swarm of pesky flies gather around some trash somewhere nearby. You can still enjoy the gentle breeze and beautiful scenery without obliging yourself to see what the flying insects are up to.
6] Although you've been acquainted with their names for at least three years, you still don't know enough personal details about them and the awful vibes they give off trigger uneasiness until now.
7] When speaking to any of them online or face to face, even for a few minutes, you feel as though you're just wasting time and not gaining anything valuable. It may be more beneficial to listen to ducks quack or learn new words from the dictionary than to aimlessly socialize with those who find your language incomprehensible.
✅ How to deal with cliquish groups:
1] First and foremost, maintain strong connection with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. The closer you are to Allah the Most Loving, the less likely you become influenced by His servants' actions and decisions.
2] Avoid getting too attached to any cliquish group and refrain from siding with one particular group against other groups.
3] Aspire to serve Only Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. Stay away from pointless drama and arguments as much as possible.
4] Look unaffected and don't feel bothered if some cliquish groups exclude you from a meeting. Taking part in such activity isn't part of Allah's Qadr/Destiny. There's no use in whining about something which Allah the Most Wise didn't destine.
5] Patiently believe that in Jannah Paradise
Inn-sha-Allah you can enjoy better connections. Perhaps the reason why some cliquish groups reject or despise your presence is their worry that welcoming you with open arms could somehow make you appear even more "superior" to them i.e. feeling jealous of you or very insecure about themselves is what compels them to act dismissive.
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๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Love whom you love moderately, perhaps he will become hateful to you someday. Hate whom you hate moderately, perhaps he will become your beloved friend someday."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1997
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
๐ Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said: "A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."
Source: Rawdat Al-‘Uqalā 56
