๐ In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
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๐️ Three examples of situations in which cowardly passive-aggressive narcissists or jealous and insecure bullies would attempt to make you doubt your self-worth and exclude you, probably to soothe unpleasant feelings of envy or to childishly get back at you for something you did in the past which offended their pride:
1] They directly invited you to a wedding or formal gathering, but when the day of the event arrives, you discover that you're not allowed to enter the venue because your name wasn't listed in the guest list.
✅ How to deal:
1๐น For Allah's sake stay strong, calm and collected. Say some Adhkaar and Du'a to maintain your composure.
2๐น Cleverly analyze the possible reasons behind the act and imagine yourself being the subject of a silly prank show or social experiment where shaytan and his delusional puppets are eager to watch you overreact irrationally. Avoid showing them the reaction which they want.
3๐น If you couldn't speak to any of the hosts personally so they can explain their side or grant you entry if there was an actual mistake in not including your name, calmly return to your residence, and with patience accept Allah's Qadr/Destiny, or try visiting another friend or more preferably some relatives whom you haven't visited in a while.
4๐น If the hosts failed to apologize to you for not including your name, let their awful conduct be a reminder to never trust them. As much as possible, abstain from dealing with them in the future, while maintaining basic good manners whenever you must communicate with one another.
5๐น Without an ounce of regret, gladly stop checking their Facebook posts and quit paying attention to the online content of anybody who fails to motivate you to become a better Muslim, to preserve your emotional and religious well-being.
2] They invite you to participate in a feast but upon arriving at the hall or table, you realize that all the seats are taken and you can sense the ambience isn't very welcoming.
✅ How to deal:
1๐น Confidently greet the group with cheerful vibes even if their energy is temporarily depressing.
2๐น Assertively pull out a chair from one of the nearby tables or neighboring rooms and choose the best place where you can be seated comfortably. If additional chairs are unavailable, you may sit on the floor or find a flat surface which you can take as a seat until one of the chairs is vacant, or ask the hosts politely for other ideas.
3๐น Share a witty remark or ask some questions to do away with the awkward silence, such as "Why is everybody looking so sad? Did somebody die?" or "Were you expecting me to bring some special equipments to make my entrance more grand? Sorry for the letdown." or quietly continue doing your part at the event without being affected by how other fallible humans perceive you.
3] They cancelled an appointment with you, claiming that they're so busy with several important tasks but after some time has passed, you're informed by someone or through their social media updates that they were just socializing with other individuals instead of agreeing to meet with you or allowing you to join them.
✅ How to deal:
1๐น If you believe that they have a lot of admirable qualities and keeping them in your circle of trusted friends has impacted you positively in many ways, confidently respect their freewill to do what they think is most convenient for them and don't be too clingy nor too possessive. You can
Inn-sha-Allah find another timing to schedule a meeting with them. True friends are continually forgiving, understanding, and patient with each other.
2๐น Whether you've been acquainted with them for only a number of days or you have known each other's names for a long time now, you have a right to dismiss them as a potential friend, and simply view them as a stranger. Unfollow their social media posts and want nothing to do with them, as much as possible, if there's no benefit in asking them why they acted obnoxiously. You can't force donkeys and chimpanzees to behave themselves if they're not accustomed to courtesy or they are exclusively "polite" to those with similar ideologies.
3๐น Let their lousy behavior and narcissistic acts inspire you to thank Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala that you're not like them at all in being so emotionally disturbed that one feels the need to upset others to relieve one's distress.
~•~
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Allah the Almighty said: 'Whoever shows hostility (enmity) to a righteous friend of Mine, I have declared war against him. My servant does not grow closer to Me with anything more beloved to Me than the obligatory duties that I have imposed upon him. My servant continues to grow closer to Me with extra good works (nawaafil deeds like praying Tahajjud, Salat Ad-Duha, and fasting Sunnah fasts) until I love him. When I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes, and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask something from Me, I would surely give it to him. Were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant it to him. I do not hesitate to do anything as I hesitate to take the soul of the believer, for he hates death and I hate to disappoint him.'"
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6137
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
๐ Note: Reminder to recite Surah Al-Kahf every Jumuah Friday and include the Muslim Ummah in your Du'as.
