๐ In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
๐ Nine tips to each Muslim wife who recently got married and realized she dislikes her husband’s attitude or discovered that they are both very incompatible:
1] Remind yourself of the main reason why you willingly accepted this man’s marriage proposal – to marry for Allah’s sake and journey together to Jannah Paradise. A lot of those who get married for ulterior or selfish motives eventually break up because their niyyah / intention of marrying wasn’t a good one.
2] Admit that you too are imperfect and there are certain aspects about yourself which your husband may not find agreeable. If you’re filled with numerous defects and shortcomings, why should you expect your spouse to be completely “flawless” and never prone to disappointing you once in a while?
3] Try to learn from the mistakes which your husband often does and respectfully advise him on what he must do when he’s in the mood to listen. Refrain from disturbing him when he just arrived from work or you can sense that he’s struggling with depression.
4] If there’s actually something about his personality or negative habits which you can’t stand, then clearly inform him about your disappointments in a gentle way. If you lack the confidence to verbally express your wants and needs, then demonstrate to him and indirectly teach him how to behave instead, while patiently including him in your loving Du’as, praying to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala that He keeps your marriage blessed and grants your other half more guidance to the deeds which lead to Jannatul Ferdaus.
5] Rather than focusing on your husband’s undesirable qualities, make effort to appreciate his admirable attributes and tolerable traits, such as his cute sense of humor and determination to earn halal income.
6] Look at the bright side of your willingness to stay married with him for Allah’s sake until one of you passes away before the other. Aspire to attaining more rewards and love from Allah the Most Wise for striving to maintain patience with the man whom He Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala wisely chose for you. Being patient with your soulmate isn’t an implication that you sadistically tolerate abuse but you sincerely cherish your other half for Allah’s sake much more than your ego and pride.
7] If there’s an unresolved misunderstanding between you and your soulmate, and you’re serious about fixing the problem, courageously request some of your family members and his relatives to have a harmonious group discussion on finding effective solutions to strengthen the connection which Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala destined, or if you don’t want others to get involved, arrange a heartfelt talk with your husband when he isn’t physically and emotionally fatigued.
8] List as many as you can all the disadvantages of insisting on asking your husband for a divorce. What makes you so sure that you won’t feel regretful once you’ve become a divorcee or several individuals regard you as notorious for having multiple divorces, particularly due to petty causes and impatience?
9] Understand that entering marriage life doesn’t mean you’ll be entirely devoid of stress, sadness and worries. When you become a wife and strive to remain loyal to your spouse for Allah’s sake, expect more challenges to arise which are designed to train you to have Sabr and Shukr for Allah’s sake as a Muslim.
The more you pass Allah’s tests, including the different trials in your marital life,
Inn-sha-Allah the more your status or level in Jannah Paradise may rise.
Don’t let shaytan win against you and your husband.
~•~
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albaani
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātih 5/2125
๐ Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."
Source: Sahih Muslim 1467
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
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