๐ In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
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๐ Five reasons why I choose not to spy on my dear husband's cellphones even if he leaves them unattended at times and lets me know I can use them anytime I like:
1] I trust Allah the Almighty and believe that He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala will be the One to deal with His servants in the way that He knows is most just. I wasn't born to monitor and scrutinize every one of my husband's moves.
2] Out of respect for my dear husband, I want him to sense that I perceive him as trustworthy just as I would love it if he viewed me as loyal and dependable. If I wouldn't enjoy being frequently interrogated by him concerning who I'm communicating with whenever he notices me using the cellphone, why would I do that to him? If I don't want my husband and I constantly suspecting each other, why would I bother snooping around his personal belongings as if I can't trust him at all?
It's usually a sign of disrespect if you make it obvious to somebody that you regard them as absolutely unreliable.
3] I already know that some of my husband's patients, colleagues and acquaintances are females who may try to contact him now and then. Regardless of the reasons behind their attempts to reach out, I believe that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala will be the One to wisely deal with them and my husband regarding their intentions and decisions. My husband is already adult enough to distinguish between right and wrong, so I don't need to keep supervising him as if I'm playing the role of a terrifyingly strict and overbearing grandma.
4] Since I'm an introvert (INTJ 1w9) who's very selective with regard to who I pay attention to and what sort of content I willingly absorb online and offline, I do what I can to avoid peeking on my husband's cellphones to stay away from potential drama, wasting valuable energy browsing around incomprehensible data, and the urge to interrogate my beloved husband as if he's an undisciplined child guilty of pickpocketing.
5] I prefer to focus on my husband's good side and appreciate his commendable qualities than to recall his mistakes and worry about the things he could be doing incorrectly. This is one of those few circumstances in which "ignorance is bliss" can become applicable. To maintain inner contentment and peace of mind, you don't need to be aware of every single detail which your husband has done in the past and present. If your husband truly strives to worship Only Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, his firm faith/Imaan and Taqwa can
Inn-sha-Allah prevent him from carrying out regrettable acts in the future.
If on the contrary he gets caught at one point doing something which most women would find offensive, instead of instantly demanding a divorce, muster up the courage to discuss the issue with fairness, clarity and logic, and intelligently come up with a solution which you believe can
Inn-sha-Allah bring you and your other half closer to Allah's Love, even if the ultimate decision is for you to patiently continue loving your husband for Allah's sake while he legally remarries after agreeing that he'll try his best to treat his multiple wives as fairly as possible.
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๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125
๐ Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A woman is married for four things: Her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman otherwise you will be a loser."
Sahih Al-Bukhari 5090
In-book reference: Book 67 Hadith 28
USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 27
๐ Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."
Source: Sahih Muslim 1467
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
