Tips: Five Reasons Why We're Uninterested In Befriending Some Of The People We Meet

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Five probable reasons why we're uninterested in befriending some people, with examples from some personal experiences: 

1♦️ We've heard them telling lies and/or gossiping about us. 

e.g. when I knocked on a door to visit some of the moms and I overheard one of them saying something like "nandito ang tomboy". That awful joke inspired me to lose interest in getting to know her better. 

2♦️ Our values, goals, personality, style of communicating, and overall interests are so different that it's not easy for us to get along harmoniously.

e.g. A divorcee who remarried a guy who's several years younger than her still keeps the children of her ex-husband when they should rightfully be with him since she decided to remarry. The fact that she's one of those females who aren't comfortable with polygyny, while I dislike the idea of divorcing due to emotional instability, is what causes animosity. 

3♦️ They've proven many times that they're unreliable, dishonest, and untrustworthy. 

e.g. When a certain acquaintance had the audacity to invent clear lies about me, I stopped inviting her to outings and accompanying me to places we often went to. 

4♦️ They remind us of somebody whom we dislike, we can sense that they envy us, or their unpleasant vibes conflict with ours. 

e.g. Having my intuition spot-on, Alhamdulillah, when I sensed there was something fishy about this female upon our first meeting years ago. According to her, she was a "niqabi" during her stay in the Middle East then after some time gave up wearing the niqab. Then she wore it again only to take it off after a few months. Even though I never said anything about her indecisiveness and confused attitude, she later "unfriended" me on Facebook which didn't surprise nor bother me as there was no friendship in the first place. 

5♦️ You know they're undeniably toxic when their presence brings discomfort or you feel more at peace when they're not around. 

e.g. Finding it weird how a woman in her 40s who claims to be "Salafi" would frequently use dog emojis in her text messages and whenever she'd narrate some news or story, you can tell she was insecurely bragging and one-upping. 

If keeping an individual in your circle of trusted friends doesn't bring you closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, as they can't teach you anything valuable and you're better off without being close to them, then unapologetically minimize interactions with them for Allah's sake to protect your well-being and faith/Imaan. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638 

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Nothing is heavier upon the scale of a believer on the Day of Resurrection than his good character. Verily, Allah hates the vulgar and obscene person (prone to wicked conduct and foul speech such as knowingly telling lies, backbiting, spreading rumors)."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2002

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-seven-types-of-difficult-people.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/tips-three-types-of-grudges-and-how-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-what-often-leads-to-conflict-or.html 

Poem: How To Rationalize Weird Feelings Of Attraction

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Tips to rationalize strange feelings of attraction, 

To overcome desires or smash your crush on someone: 

Ask yourself, and be honest, don't be self-deluding,

"Why waste your time fantasizing about this person, 

Why yearn to have them while they neglect your existence? 

~•~ 

Why abuse your heart with fanciful dreams and musings, 

And wish you were loved back by those whom you're crushing on, 

When liking them from a distance is so distressing? 

Admiring humans who undervalue your presence 

Is as absurd as taking naps with starving pythons."

~•~ 

If you fell in love with a soul for their appearance, 

Why not gaze at nature without getting heartbroken? 

If someone's tall height is what stirred infatuation, 

Why not stare at giraffes, ostriches and elephants, 

And free yourself from stress due to foolish fixation? 

~•~

If someone's intelligence is what pulled you to them, 

Then read useful books, increase Qur'an recitation, 

And don't let the subject of illogical feelings 

Distract you from worshipping Allah, as a Muslim. 

Ignore shaytan's lousy schemes and evil suggestions. 

~•~ 

Make it clear to shaytan that you know what he's doing - 

He's making attempts to weaken you through emotions. 

Defeat him with Taqwa, saying the Adhkaar often, 

Praying Tahajjud, fasting Sunnah fasts when you can, 

And preferring Jannah's bliss to brief entertainment.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Qatadah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah the Almighty but that Allah will replace it with something better." 

Source: Musnad Ahmed 22565 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Sahl Ibn Sa'd RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever guarantees (the chastity of) what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, I can guarantee for him Paradise."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6109

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-love-allah-more-than-any-of-his.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/poem-defeat-evil-desires-with-taqwa.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-differences-between-truly-loving.html https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-tips-on-how-to-detach-from-crush.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-tips-to-detach-and-move-on-from.html 

Note: On Some Of The Signs Of Inward Happiness

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ "From the signs of happiness upon the servant: Finding it easy to obey Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and ensuring that the good deeds done for Allah's sake are in accordance with the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, eagerness or preference to befriend people of goodness/piety, striving to maintain good character with one's brothers and sisters in Islam, seeking to benefit or offer help to the creation when necessary, having concern for the affairs of the Muslim Ummah, and being cautious about spending one's time correctly in ways that please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala." 

Approximate translation of one of the sayings of Ash-Shaatiby (May Allah have mercy on him. Ameen.)

📖 Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Some people from the Ansaar asked the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and he gave them. Then they asked for charity again and he SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam gave them. Then they asked again and he SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam gave them until all he had was gone. The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I had anything, I would not withhold it. Whoever refrains from asking others, then Allah will make him content. Whoever would be independent, then Allah will make him independent. Whoever would be patient, then Allah will make him patient. There is no gift that is better and more comprehensive than patience."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6105

Sahih Muslim 1053

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

Tips: Some Ways To Cope With Bosses, Colleagues Or Elders Who Are Toxic And Disrespectful

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Five ways to cope with employers, co-workers, teachers, elders, and clients who are toxic and disrespectful: 

1] Sympathize and feel sorry for them. Unhappy or insecure individuals are more likely to act like bullies and troublemakers than those who are at peace from within. Thank Allah the Almighty that you don't have their sorrow, insecurities, and lack of confidence. 

2] Maintain basic politeness and good manners for Allah's sake. Although they may find your cheerful vibes or confident attitude annoying, at least you're not the one who's guilty of mistreating anybody due to envious resentment. 

3] Avoid unnecessary interactions with them and keep your conversations very brief. Stay uninterested in wanting to build a friendship by not asking them personal questions which are irrelevant to your life goals. 

4] Whenever they're trying to instigate an argument or start some sort of debate with you, simply smile and respond with "Alhamdulillah", "thank you for the feedback", "I understand", "yes. Anything else? Okay", "interesting thought", "I see", "message noted", "you're right. I'm sorry for the inconvenience." and 

"Inn-sha-Allah I'll try my best to perform better next time." without adding superfluous remarks which could invite them to prolong the pointless drama. 

5] Want nothing to do with them and interact only when crucially necessary. Never follow their social media posts nor analyze their comments on the status updates of mutual friends. When they're immaturely gossiping about somebody in a room or discussing matters which don't concern you, sit in a different area to protect yourself from their negativity and awful tendency to tell lies. If you can't relocate, wear headphones or listen to some audible Qur'an recitations or Islamic lectures to signal the fact you're disinterested in getting involved in their sinful, illogical, and shallow convos. 

~•~ 

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe. The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut 

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said to me, "Young man, if you are able every morning and evening to remove any malice in your heart towards anyone, do so." Then, the Prophet SallAllahu' alaihi wa sallam said to me, "Young man, that is my Sunnah. Whoever revives my Sunnah has loved me, and whoever loves me will be with me in Paradise."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2678

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/tips-what-you-can-do-to-manage-some.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-be-strong-enough-to-not-be.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-ways-to-react-to-peoples-rudeness.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/poem-tips-to-patiently-deal-with-three.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-well-you-handle-toxic-people-based-on-your-personality-type/

Poem: My Response To "How Happy Are You With Your Husband?"

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 "How happy are you with your husband?" if I were asked, 

"How contented are you with him if he's out a lot, 

And you can't spend time together as much as you love?", 

I'd say, without sugarcoating, and Allah Above 

Sees my heart, "happy enough to spoil him with Du'as, 

~•~ 

Praying that Allah protects him as he's out a lot, 

And asking Allah that He guides him to be pious. 

Happy enough to not wish he looked like hot actors, 

To never cheat on him, to not desire another, 

And happy enough to not compare him with others. 

~•~ 

Alhamdulillah. I believe I'm happy enough 

With the man whom Allah selected as my spouse that 

I would never want my care and loyalty to stop. 

If ever he asks for divorce, I wouldn't give up. 

I'd still want him back, wait for him, and love from afar. 

~•~ 

I'm happy enough, Alhamdulillah, to state that 

My zawj is the only soul I romantically love, 

Fully aware he's not perfect but he's good enough, 

Good enough to value and appreciate the fact 

He's my husband, I'm his wife, and we're grateful enough."

~•~ 

Marital bliss isn't based on how often you touch, 

But how many blessings your marriage actually has 

And how long your patience with one another can last. 

Your marriage is a gift if it leads to Allah's Love 

And it moves you to confess, "Yes, I'm happy enough.".

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi

Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātih 5/2125

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/poem-love-your-husband-patiently-for.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-five-signs-that-youre-tough-wife.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/note-how-happy-are-you-with-your.html