Tips: As A Muslim Wife, Don't Be Petty And Insecure

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Seven examples of how to respond to your husband's misconduct so you don't come off as a petty, overly sensitive, and insecure wife: 

1] When your husband lets a male relative of his, friend or colleague take over the front seat while driving: 

✅ Instead of scolding your spouse about how you should be sitting next to him in the car because you're his wife, try to understand that maybe the reason why he wants this guy to be seated beside him is so he doesn't have to stare at you from the backseat or so he can assist your husband with looking at the road and helping with the directions. 

2] When your husband sits on some clothes which you placed on the chair, couch, bed or sofa while he seems preoccupied with answering text messages on his phone: 

✅ Understand that perhaps he didn't notice your clothing or laundry as he was busy with his cellphone, and even if he did it on purpose you can easily pull the items out from him, kindly requesting him to budge a bit without instigating unnecessary drama. 

3] When your husband takes some food from your plate or bowl after he completed his own meal: 

✅ Instead of angrily telling him to hunt for leftovers from somebody else or to quit overeating, realize he's probably not yet full. So encourage him to have as many bites as he likes or allow him to consume what you can't finish if you're actually trying to lose some weight. 

4] When your husband starts eating before you for the nth time or leaves the dining table while you're still having lunch / dinner: 

✅ Don't make it a big deal. Seriously, a lot of guys get annoyed when a woman acts too childish and clingy expecting her husband to be near her 24/7. 

5] If your husband arrives home from a long trip without bringing anything special, souvenirs, or exotic edibles: 

✅ Thank Allah the Almighty that your spouse at least arrived safely. Don't expect your other half to gratify you all the time, particularly if he is temporarily struggling financially. 

6] If your husband went to a park, resort, restaurant, mall or tourist attraction with some of his relatives, kids or colleagues without informing you: 

✅ Put yourself in his shoes. Maybe he didn't invite you because he knows you already had other plans and more important tasks to do, or one of his escorts asked him to leave you out on that occasion as they wanted to focus on spending quality time with him specifically. If he was attempting to indirectly signal that he's upset about something you did recently, try to have a calm discussion with him at the most appropriate timing - when he's not tired, sleepy, stressed out, hungry or working. 

7] If your husband suddenly answers your questions in a curt or furious tone: 

✅ Keep calm for Allah's sake. Apply empathy and patiently analyze why he's unnaturally grumpy. His irritability could be a result of stress at work, he received bad news, or he had a quarrel with an employee or client etc. Rather than worsening the dilemma, give him some space or do something creative to improve his inner state. 

Your husband, after your dear parents, is one of the people on earth who deserve your altruistic love for Allah's sake, patience, and understanding. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi

Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātih 5/2125 

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe. The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/tips-seven-things-which-inspire-your.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/note-patiently-understand-and-empathize.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/tips-three-common-mistakes-which-some.html 

Tips: JOMO - Joy Of Missing Out On Gatherings With Fitna, Music And Free-Mixing Between Non-Mahrams

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: As an introvert (INTJ personality type), what advice can you offer to switch feelings of FOMO (fear of missing out) to JOMO (joy of missing out)? What should extroverts do to avoid feeling regretful or sad they declined an invitation to a social gathering? 

📝 Answer: 1] If you've prayed two Rak'ahs of Salat Al-Istikhaara before finalizing your decision to not attend an event, you shouldn't feel remorse or guilt for choosing the option that you believe is most rewarding for your overall well-being. Any choice you make sincerely for Allah's sake is followed by tranquil contentment with its outcomes which Allah the Most Wise has already destined. 

2] Remind yourself of all the reasons why you hesitated to attend the social gathering. The very fact that you felt uncertain about attending shows maybe your presence there could've caused more trouble than merit. 

3] If you quickly noticed that some of the attendees uploaded several photos on their social media accounts or group chats, swiftly ignore them, look away, and stubbornly skip reading complimentary comments regarding them. You chose not to attend, so likewise choose not to absorb any content or info connected to the social gathering. 

4] While a number of your loved ones, classmates or colleagues are attending the event which you declined, instead of watching Facebook live videos about it do something else that is more productive, continue working on the tasks you need to complete, or chat with a close friend or your husband if he isn't busy. 

5] Don't feel guilty about not being able to show up at each congregation you're invited to or excluded from. As a human being with freewill, you have every right to select which gatherings to attend, who from Allah's servants to affiliate with willingly, and when to pause an assignment to be present for an appointment that won't act as a fitna to your faith/Imaan and piety.

~•~ 

📖 Sa'd Ibn Abi Waqqas RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah loves a servant who is righteous, independent, and obscure (unknown, unpopular, not famous)."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2965

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan." 

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-trust-allah-strive-for-him-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-to-socialize-and-be-friendly-or.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-how-most-intj-personality-types.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-easily-you-can-detach-from-others-based-on-your-personality-type/

Poem: Don't Stay Sad.

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Some guess that when Allah loves them life becomes easy, 

They'd always feel cheerful and loved by everybody, 

When that's not the case, because in actuality 

The more you're beloved to Allah the Almighty, 

The more you meet difficult souls as trials increase.

~•~ 

Don't assume that if Allah loves you then instantly 

You're treated like a well-respected celebrity 

Who's greeted and welcomed with smiles by each soul you see. 

Expect to be despised and ignored by those guilty 

Of envying you or misconstruing your beliefs. 

~•~ 

Please, don't daydream about living on earth with full glee, 

Unceasing joyful moments, uninterrupted peace, 

Days devoid of working and evenings free of worries. 

This world is currently a stage of temporary 

Tests, and those whom Allah guides have a chance to succeed.

~•~

Seek guidance from Allah constantly, consistently 

Strive for Allah's sake to earn His Love through righteous deeds, 

And pray that Allah protects us from hypocrisy 

And foul qualities which prevent one from victory 

On Judgment Day when our test results shall be revealed. 

~•~

Sometimes Allah may decree that we weep or shed tears 

So saddened hearts recall to depend on Him Only, 

To detach from dunya's toys and joys that aren't real, 

And focus on striving to deserve Jannah's entry. 

Don't stay sad. Allah gives us not what we want but need.

~•~

📖 Sa'd Ibn Abi Waqqas RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, which of the people are the most severely tested?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "They are the prophets, then the next best (in terms of righteousness or closeness to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala), then the next best. A man is put to trial according to his Deen/religion. If he is firm in his religion, his trials will be more severe. If he is weak in his religion, he is put to trial according to his strength in religion. The servant will continue to be put to trial until he is left walking upon the earth without any sin."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2398

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Nothing afflicts a Muslim of hardship, nor illness, nor anxiety, nor sorrow, nor harm, nor distress, nor even the pricking of a thorn, but that Allah will expiate his sins by it."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5318 

Sahih Muslim 2573

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-remember-allah-and-you-wont-be.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/poem-minimize-or-avoid-stress-by-doing.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/poem-ways-to-deal-with-depression-as.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-advice-to-patiently-deal-with.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-what-you-can-do-as-muslim-when.html 

🗒️ Note: Reminder to read Surah Al-Kahf every Jumuah Friday, recite Surah Al-Mulk each day and night, and include the Muslim Ummah in your Du'as.

Tips: What Kind Of Co-Wife Would You Be If Your Dear Husband Had All Four Wives?

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: If your husband had four wives, what kind of co-wife would you be? 

📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best. 

If my husband, with Allah's Will and Qadr/Decree, was legally married to four women, with me being one of his wives, I would: 

1] Try my best to frequently remind him to take care of all his wives as fairly and lovingly as he can for Allah's sake, avoiding intentional injustice and unjustified negligence towards any of the women whom he is lawfully married to. 

2] Advise the other wives to have patience with our husband whenever he is financially struggling or emotionally unwell. 

3] Occasionally visit the residence of each co-wife, if we've learned to become close friends, and similarly welcome them to the place where I stay whenever I'm in the mood to receive visitors. 

4] Consistently make effort to develop the friendship and sisterly love for Allah's sake with the wives of our husband, while staying away from favoritism and insecurely teaming up against one wife or two wives. 

5] Treat the children of my husband's other wives as if they were my own kids - with patient empathy and understanding. If one wife is infertile, I'd do what I can to avoid mentioning topics which I sense could upset her. 

6] Invite all co-wives or one co-wife on different timings for shopping, attending Islamic lectures together, or dining outdoors to strengthen our sisterhood for Allah's sake, while reminding one another to stay steadfast regarding showing respect to our dear husband. 

7] Act as an unbiased referee whenever two or three co-wives are quarreling, and calmly attempt to resolve the dispute, instead of coaxing them to aggravate avoidable drama. 

8] Inspire each co-wife to diligently educate their loved ones and other individuals about the virtues and wisdom of why Allah the Most Wise legalized capable and willing Muslim males to be wed to up to four loving wives.

9] Coach my husband to always forgive his wives, including myself, if ever any of them behaves in a way that he finds disappointing. Motivate him to never quit trying to keep the family strong and united for Allah's sake, reminding him as well as the co-wives that our foe shaytan is the only one who truly gets satisfied upon witnessing the number of broken Muslim families increasing due to pride/kibr, selfishness, impatience, unjust suspicion, and irrational attachment to this fleeting dunya.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 4252

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-my-answer-to-what-made-you-accept.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-seven-misconceptions-about.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-when-is-polygyny-better-than.html 

Poem: Don't Be From The People Who Are Too Proud And Too Sad To Admit They're Sorry

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 The bigger one's ego, the harder it is to say 

"I'm sorry", "forgive me for what I did yesterday", 

And "please accept my apology. I'll compensate 

For any loss or damage that was clumsily made." 

Connections can weaken when ego gets in the way. 

~•~ 

Three reasons why some people can't admit their mistakes: 

The level of contentment with their lives is small-scale, 

So their eagerness to sadden you stems from self-hate, 

Or pride causes them to presume they're flawless always, 

Or they're driven by intense envy to misbehave. 

~•~ 

If someone's response to your messages was delayed 

And why they answered late isn't tactfully explained, 

Or a rude shopper's cart collided with yours one day, 

And some sellers didn't give the right amount of change, 

Let Allah deal with them, and move on for Allah's sake. 

~•~ 

For people's apologies it's better not to wait, 

As most are insecure and immersed in dismal states. 

Don't expect those with bad ethics to enunciate 

That they regret behaving badly and straight away 

They'll correct their errors when from pride they're not yet saved. 

~•~ 

Pardon their shortcomings and choices, for Allah's sake. 

Through encounters with them we're trained to never betray 

And act improperly with any of Allah's slaves. 

When mistreated by souls who carry around self-hate, 

Thank Allah. "Sad" and "insecure" aren't from your traits. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives another but that Allah increases his honor, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah but that Allah raises his status."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2588

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:

"The supplications of three persons are never turned away (rejected): A fasting person until he breaks his fast, a just ruler, and the supplication of the oppressed which is raised by Allah above the clouds, the gates of Paradise are opened for it, and Allah the Almighty says: 'By My Might and Majesty, I will help you in due time.'"

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 3598 Grade: Sahih

Umar Ibn Al-Khattab RadhiAllahu 'anhu said:

"Beware of the supplication (Du'a) of the oppressed, for the supplication of the oppressed is answered."

Source: Al-Muwaṭṭa 1890 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/note-how-to-apologize-to-people-youve.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/poem-as-muslim-dont-be-rude-and-insecure.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-ways-to-react-to-peoples-rudeness.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-warning-against-dhulm-oppression.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-advice-to-those-who-went-through.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-thank-those-who-gossip-about-you.html 

https://abukhadeejah.com/allah-has-forbidden-oppression-for-himself-and-has-forbidden-it-for-the-people-hadith-qudsi/