Tips: How Some INTJs Deal With Jealousy

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: As a Muslim INTJ personality type, how do you deal with jealousy? Or what is your coping strategy whenever you feel slightly jealous of a friend?

📝 Answer: Alhamdulillah since I'm one of those who strive to stay contented with Allah's Qadr/Decree, I'd say I hardly feel envious of others' tests and blessings. There are moments though when a female acquaintance would share some joyful news about her spouse, specially if they get to see each other a lot more often than I do with my husband, but her act of sharing her joys doesn't compel me to insecurely indulge in gossip. Instead I'd be inspired to be extra loyal, additionally grateful, and more appreciative of my husband.

Another secret or tactic I try in order to avoid acting upon jealous emotions is reminding myself of the negative qualities or different struggles found in the person who's bragging about to make me feel "jealous". For instance, if "A" appears to be so proud of how her husband takes her out to a fancy restaurant on a weekly basis, I recall how I'm blessed Alhamdulillah to not have her unpleasant tendency to occasionally tell lies and how she is incapable of doing some of the things which I can do Alhamdulillah such as reading Arabic text without the harakaat or vowels etc. 

If it's clear that other Muslims seem to enjoy their marriages, I'd train myself to be happy for them for Allah's sake because Allah the Most Wise is the One Who chose those sources of joy to examine their faith/Imaan, while I'd reminisce about the good times when my own husband and I traveled to various cities and spent time together before he became busier with his medical work Alhamdulillah. 

The stronger your belief in Allah's Wisdom and Justice in the way He distributed the gifts to His servants, the less you're prone to feeling insecure, "unaccomplished" or "inferior" whenever you notice others enjoying what Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala decided to grant His slaves to determine if they'll be thankful for those favors, if they'll behave arrogantly due to what they've been given (such as pleasant looks, tall height, and access to knowledge etc.) and if they can benefit other servants through them by inspiring, advising, or assisting others to reach the same goals which they've achieved with Allah's Will. Alhamdulillah.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Look at those below you and do not look at those above you, for it is the best way not to belittle the favors of Allah."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6125

Sahih Muslim 2963

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith and envy do not combine within a (true believer) believing servant."

In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith are never combined in the heart of a servant."

Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-thank-allah-for-blessings-he-chose.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-more-contented-you-are-with-allahs.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-dont-compare-your-life-journey-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/poem-i-cant-get-jealous-over-worldly.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/tips-how-to-deal-with-insecure.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/tips-its-hard-to-feel-jealous-when.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/poem-some-secrets-to-not-feeling.html 

Tips: Some Advice On Dealing With ESFJ Personality Types

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

✅ Five qualities which healthy ESFJs have in common, from observing the overall attitude and personality of my husband and a sister in Islam from Malaysia: 

1] As affectionate and empathic individuals who care about the well-being of both loved ones and strangers, they are eager to help out, offer advice, and provide practical assistance whenever they can. 

2] They don't easily judge people according to their looks. They value inner beauty and reliability a lot more than superficial efforts to look "flawless". 

3] They're readily forgiving, resilient, and understanding. Mature ESFJs are not nosy, not impatient, and not annoyingly melodramatic. 

4] They diplomatically know when to be quiet and when to give somebody space. If a project or an agreement doesn't seem to be working out, they can effortlessly let go and try a different activity.

5] They are not people-pleasers. Confident Muslim ESFJs strive to prioritize pleasing Allah the Almighty instead of living their lives solely to meet everybody's demands. 

❎ Five characteristics which are common among unhealthy (insecure) ESFJs, from analyzing the overall attitude and mannerisms of some female acquaintances: 

1} Very often they readily display their emotions, negative or otherwise, without carefully thinking about the possible outcomes of their acts. 

2} Generally they tend to partake in toxic gossip and seemingly enjoy criticizing the lives of most people behind their backs, as if one's ego benefits from broadcasting people's flaws. 

3} They can be too impulsive when making unfair judgment about people according to their outward actions and appearance. 

4} If they dislike you due to intense jealousy or feel intimidated by your confidence, they can be obnoxiously uncommunicative, uncooperative, and unsupportive, or treat you disrespectfully in a passive-aggressive way. 

5} Envy is an unpleasant trait which most insecure ESFJs can struggle with. Seeing other individuals whom they don't regard as loved ones doing better than them in fields or activities they're trying to thrive in compels them to be loudly resentful, selfish, unreliable, needlessly competitive, and overly sensitive.

⭐ What you can do to connect with ESFJ personality types (ESFJ-A / ESFJ-T) if you are willing to get along, specially if they are family or neighbors: 

1) Occasionally do what you can to make it obvious that you have nothing against them and their values, without sacrificing your own dignity. 

2) When you overhear them gossiping or angrily ranting about so-and-so, if you genuinely care, try to approach them one-on-one and kindly advise them regarding why backbiting is something we must avoid for Allah's sake, as Muslims. Out of the 16 personality types, a lot of ESFJs tend to be stereotypically gossipy. 

3) While you frequently include them in your loving Du'as and compassionately correct them whenever they're wrong, patiently put up with their impulsivity, insecurities, and mistakes. Loved ones who are somewhat challenging to manage can train us to improve in applying patience and good character for Allah's sake. 

4) Ensure that you don't intentionally make them feel ignored or emotionally neglected. Some unhealthy ESFJs can quickly take offense if you haven't checked on them online and offline for several days. 

5) Always provide a justifiable reason if ever you cancel plans or did something which affected them negatively. Insecure ESFJs may start doubting themselves or your connection when dealing with misunderstandings and disappointments.

~•~ 

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe (not guilty of backbiting, telling lies, and knowingly committing injustice). The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah the Almighty) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-describing-my-husbands-personality.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/12/note-how-intj-wife-connects-with-her.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-on-self-discovery-and-mbti.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-what-each-personality-type-looks-like-when-they-are-unhealthy/ 

https://www.16personalities.com/articles/assertive-consul-esfj-a-vs-turbulent-consul-esfj-t

Note: It's Not A Problem If You Unfriend Someone Or Some Users Unfriend You On Facebook

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Not every act of unfriending from a Facebook user is a testimony or declaration that you are a bad person or did something abominable which upset them. Oftentimes a Muslim may decide to unfriend you because they're fed up with trying to control their nafs regarding unwanted feelings of attraction for you every time they stumble upon your name online like a tray of delectable desserts offering itself to somebody who's on a strict diet aiming to lose some weight. It also makes more sense that a non-mahram of the opposite gender would unfriend you to safeguard their faith / Imaan, not out of disappoinment or animosity. 

Other times a number of users may feel safer unfriending you because they're uncomfortable going through insecure feelings of jealousy whenever you occasionally flaunt your lifestyle or joys which they could be currently lacking. Regardless of why somebody recently unfriended you, understand that it's not necessarily your fault. 

Patiently accept Allah's Qadr/Decree in allowing the online connection to end at some point, while still maintaining good manners with them if Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala decrees that you meet offline from time to time.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan." 

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No Muslim servant supplicates for his brother behind his back but that the angel says: 'And for you the same.'"

Source: Sahih Muslim 2732

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/note-allah-never-leaves-let-people-come.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-choose-your-online-and-offline.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-secret-to-feeling-indifferent-when.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-sometimes-some-people-detach.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-how-to-react-when-some-users.html 

Poem: In Jannah Paradise There Are No Problems

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Dear Muslim, created to worship Allah the One,

Don't think you're a bad person because of depression,

Magnifying your worries, forgetting your blessings,

Assuming nobody likes you - a false illusion,

~•~

Know I care for your well-being, so here's a poem 

On tips shared for Allah's sake, with heartfelt affection:

You're never alone in this journey. Don't feel lonesome.

We're all in this together, with a noble mission.

~•~

Our main purpose is to please Allah, as His servants,

Through the actions He ordered, with sincere intention.

Our value isn't based on people's criticism,

Specially when they don't know who we are when hidden.

~•~

When some loved ones display hatred or indifference,

Let's take this chance to collect rewards through calm patience,

Understand they've got their own tests and complications.

Give them space till they're strong enough to show compassion.

~•~

To be happy, you don't need a luxurious mansion,

Fancy food nor "pleasure" from forbidden relations.

You just need Allah by your side and strong connection

With our Creator, worshipping Him with contentment.

~•~

Mistakes in life and wrong decisions are tough lessons

Which remind us we're human with many shortcomings.

Nonetheless we don't give up on Tawbah/repentance.

Seeking Allah's Forgiveness is from being Muslim.

~•~

The more Allah loves us, the more Allah examines,

Granting trials so our level of faith is strengthened.

Like in some games, higher levels mean new opponents

Who show up as blessings in disguise to gain our sins.

~•~

Don't worry about haters and their wrong opinions.

It's not our fault if they hate us coz we're different.

Somewhere worldwide are souls who share our situation,

With Allah's Will, in Heaven we'll meet those companions.

~•~

For as long as we're alive let's continue striving,

Thriving with faith, Dhikr and Qur'an recitation,

And worshiping Only Allah until we meet Him

In Jannah Paradise where souls are not examined.

~•~

📖 Suhaib RadhiAllahu anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam said, "Wondrous is the affair of a believer, as there is good for him in every matter; this is not the case for anyone but a believer. If he experiences happiness, he thanks Allah and it is good for him. If he experiences harm, he shows patience and it is good for him."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2999 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/12/poem-live-life-to-worship-allah-and-you.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/tips-nine-things-to-avoid-for-allahs.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/poem-ways-to-deal-with-depression-as.html 

Tips: Signs Of Shallow And Superficial People

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Five signs of shallow or superficial people and three reasons why it's wiser to avoid getting too close to them: 

1] They judge people's values or worth according to their outward appearance, popularity, "fashion sense", income, and rumors spread about them. If you're not as physically fit or good-looking as they are, they consider you unworthy of befriending, unless you start losing weight or display how your presence can benefit their reputation.

2] While they can easily and enthusiastically discuss matters related to dunya's fleeting enjoyments, such as how much they've enjoyed binging at a buffet restaurant or what rides they thought were most enjoyable at an amusement park, they're incapable of saying anything inspirational or asking clever questions when it comes to religious talks or worthwhile discussions on how to become a better Muslim. 

3] They have an awful tendency to backbite and gossip about people's issues which don't concern them directly. If they ran out of jokes to invent regarding those whom they envy or despise unreasonably, they'd eagerly talk about the latest news on their neighbors, colleagues, or favorite celebrities. 

4] They've admitted at least once that they dislike reading or you can tell that they don't put enough effort into genuinely studying about Islam. If they're attending an Islamic webinar or conference, instead of listening attentively, they mostly distract themselves with playing games or net browsing on a different gadget or chatting aimlessly with the person beside them. 

5] A lot of the content they upload regularly on their Instagram feed or Facebook wall revolve around selfies, group photos to flaunt their likability, funny trending videos, advertisements on recommended places for tourists to visit, and cowardly passive-aggressive rants about individuals whom they misunderstand. 

💬 Three reasons why it's a blessing to not keep them as close friends: 

1] Protection from attaining the sins of other Muslims every time somebody from this toxic clique knowingly indulges in backbiting. 

2] The less time you waste with individuals who are a negative influence or who can't motivate you to improve as a Muslim, the more opportunities you find in researching about Islam and resources on self-development. 

3] By refusing to associate with those who are not eager to please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala while they are more focused on relishing this world's transient joys than striving to deserve Jannah Paradise, you can 

Inn-sha-Allah avoid regret on the Day of Judgment. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said: "A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."

Source: Rawdat Al-‘Uqalā 56 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-three-kinds-of-friends-whom-we.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/note-your-choice-of-friends-can-say-lot.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/tips-you-have-every-right-to-be-very.html 

https://binbaz.org.sa/audios/2404/133-%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%AD%D8%AF%D9%8A%D8%AB-%D9%84%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D8%B5%D8%A7%D8%AD%D8%A8-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7-%D9%85%D9%88%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7-%D9%88%D9%84%D8%A7-%D9%8A%D8%A7%D9%83%D9%84-%D8%B7%D8%B9%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%83-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D9%82%D9%8A