Note: Some Factors Which Could Prevent Us From Connecting More Deeply With Some People

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📑 A few factors which could prevent you from wanting to form a friendship with some people: 

1] Jealousy: 

•° If they feel jealous of you for some reason, they may refuse to connect.

•° If some of their joys, capabilities or attributes cause you to be slightly envious, avoiding them may be more manageable than struggling with envy whenever they're around.

•° If you're both envious of each other, building a friendship can be a struggle.

2] Insecurities or lack of trust: 

•° If they are incapable of feeling safe and comfortable around you, if their presence makes you feel uncomfortable or insecure due to dissimilar goals and values which lead to conflict, or if you equally regard each other as unreliable, then it doesn't make sense to become allies. 

3] Expecting too much from them and refusing to forgive their past mistakes: 

•° If they perceive that you haven't done enough to be counted as an ideal friend, if you find them uninspiring or you still haven't forgiven them wholeheartedly, or if you mutually sense the "friendship" is one-sided, then both sides would eventually stop trying to become actual friends. 

Usually those with decent upbringing would refrain from associating with anybody who appears like a threat and who could influence them to do things they don't really wish to do. So when you wonder why certain friendships fail to last longer than you anticipated them to, realize that maybe jealous feelings got in the way of connecting, you were obviously incompatible, or simply Allah the Most Wise didn't allow you to remain in a connection which is harmful for your faith/Imaan and emotional well-being.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith (Imaan) and envy do not combine within a believing servant."

In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith are never combined in the heart of a servant."

Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638 

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim  

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-five-reasons-why-were-uninterested.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-patience-with-those-who-hate-us.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-three-reasons-why-we-cannot-click.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/note-three-reasons-why-our-vibes.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-how-to-deal-with-people-who-hate-us.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/note-understand-that-not-everyone-on.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/note-reflection-on-why-we-gravitate-to.html 

Note: Benefits Of Praying Salat Al-Istikhaara

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Although it is not obligatory (waajib or fardh), praying Salat Al-Istikhaara and then seeking Allah’s Guidance before making an important choice has a positive impact on your heart once you’ve finalized your decision. You feel a lot more at ease and contented when you’ve prayed Salat Al-Istikharah than if you didn’t perform this rewarding Sunnah at all. The more you strive to adhere to the Sunnah (tradition) of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, the closer you get to Allah the Almighty and Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala never decrees anything evil for those believers whom He loves and guides.
Some instances when it is recommended to pray Salat Al-Istikhaara:
1] Before a man sends his marriage proposal and agrees to officially meet the parents or male mahrams of the woman whom he wishes to marry.
2] Before a woman says yes or no to the marriage proposal she receives.
3] Before deciding to relocate or move to a different city.
4] Before intending to quit one’s present job to search for a new profession.
5] Before agreeing to attend a social gathering or visit a friend at their residence.
6] Before selling an item and one feels unsure about giving it up for sale.
7] Before finally choosing to emotionally disconnect and distance oneself from certain individuals who have proven to be toxic, too incompatible and untrustworthy.
8] Before signing up for some courses or workshop or choosing to skip college and focus on early marriage.
9] Before making the final attempt at trying to reconcile with some former acquaintances.

What happens after you have prayed Salat Al-Istikhaara?
1] You feel relaxed after you have finalized your decision, whether it involved pursuing something you wanted or canceling a plan, aware that when you’re loved by Allah the Most Wise, He Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala only grants and allows what is best for you in this world and the Hereafter.
2] You don’t feel guilty, anxious, regretful, agitated or disappointed if something didn’t work out well due to what you’ve confidently decided to do for Allah’s sake.
3] You don’t feel doubtful, insecure or skeptical after the choice you’ve made even if many individuals try to convince you to change your decision.

How to pray Salat Al-Istikhaara:
1] Perform wudhu/ablution.
2] Fix your niyyah with the intention that you’re about to pray Sunnah Salat Al-Istikhaara consisting of two Rak’ahs similar to the two Sunnah Rak’ahs which we’re encouraged to pray before praying Salat Al-Fajr.
3] Recite Surah Al-Fatiha and then Surah Al-Kaafiroon in the first Rak’ah, then Surah Al-Fatiha followed by Surah Al-Ikhlaas in the second Rak’ah quietly (not audibly like in Fajr, Maghreb and ‘Ishaa prayers).
4] After the Tasleem, say the prescribed Du’a to be said after the Salat Al-Istikhaara preferably with your hands raised and facing towards the Qiblah direction.
5] Once you’ve completed saying the Istikhaara Du’a, carefully measure the pros and cons of the decision you’re about to make (to do or not to do something) then finally decide with absolute feelings of certainty, believing that the outcomes which follow your choice are all decreed by Allah the Most Loving and He Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala knows what is beneficial and suitable for you.

Allahu A’lam.
📖 Ibn 'Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: I was riding behind the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam when he said to me, "Young man, I will teach you some words. Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him before you. If you ask, ask from Allah. If you seek help, seek help from Allah. Know that if the nations were to gather together to benefit you, they will not benefit you unless Allah has decreed it for you. And if the nations gathered together to harm you, they will not harm you unless Allah has decreed it for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2516

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi

📖 Jabir Ibn Abdullah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “When one of you has a matter of concern (must make a decision), let him perform two cycles of prayer besides the obligatory prayers. Then, let him say, ‘O Allah, I seek guidance from Your knowledge and Power from Your Might, and I ask You from Your tremendous favor. Verily, You have Power and I do not have power, and You know and I do not know. You are the Knowing of the unseen. O Allah, if You know that this matter is good for my religion and my livelihood and my destiny, or if it is better for my present and latter needs, then decree it for me and make it easy for me and bless me in it. But if You know that this matter is evil for my religion and my livelihood and my destiny, or if it is worse for my present and latter needs, then divert it from me and keep me away from it, and destine what is good for me and then make me contented with it.‘ Then mention his need.”

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhārī 1166

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/note-no-i-dont-regret-marrying-my.html
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/poem-advice-for-muslim-wives-to-not.html
https://youtu.be/F_0zaMnixyk

Poem: Some Tips On How To Deal When People Make Fun Of You

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Some tips on how to deal when some people laugh at you - 

When they mock your mistakes, call you "weirdo" or "buffoon", 

And return your attempts to learn with clear ridicule, 

So you don't feel offended by what they say or do, 

And so their mockery doesn't make you insecure: 

~•~ 

Understand that Prophet Nuh ('alaihis salaam) was also ridiculed. 

His dedication to build the ark caused critics to 

Regard him as "strange", unaware they're the ones who'll lose 

If they don't join him in accepting the obvious truth. 

Their pride and laughter kept them from believing what's true. 

~•~ 

Even the Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) went through ridicule, 

Encountered unbelievers who were uncouth and rude, 

And by many of his relatives wrongly accused, 

Yet his strong faith and trust in Allah inspired him to 

Persevere despite his enemies' verbal abuse.

~•~ 

Certain words in languages which are foreign to you 

May sound funny but by their speakers they are valued. 

Customs from other tribes may be readily eschewed 

If they conflict with your values or you're from those who 

Would require lots of time getting used to something new. 

~•~ 

Let the people laugh. As long as Allah is with you, 

Whatever Allah's servants accuse you of or do, 

On the Day of Judgment when Allah reveals the truth, 

They'll see who's at fault or wish they never laughed at you. 

Some people's laughter shows they're jealous and insecure.

~•~ 

📖 Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that he was harvesting toothsticks from an 'Arak tree and he had tiny shins. The wind blew and made him fall over, so some people laughed at him. The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "What are you laughing at?" They said, “O Prophet of Allah, at his tiny shins.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "By the One (Allah) in Whose Hand is my soul, they will both be heavier on the Scale than the mountain of Uhud."

Source: Musnad Ahmed 3981

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Ahmed Shakir 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/poem-live-to-please-only-allah-almighty.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-on-patience-with-peoples-mockery.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-advice-on-how-not-to-get-offended.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-three-signs-that-youre-actually.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-what-insecure-people-do-and-tips.html 

Note: Signs That An INTJ Doesn't Regard You As A Friend

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Three obvious signs that a person with the INTJ personality type doesn't consider you as a friend: 

1] They intentionally refrain from asking you many questions. The more interested an INTJ is in developing a friendship or connection with you, the more they ask you, out of care and curiosity, about your concerns and personal life. The more they dislike you, the more indifferent, apathetic, unapproachable, serious and quiet they seem when you're around. 

2] While you may be neighbors or work in the same workplace, they go out of their way to avoid unnecessary interactions with you. If there's a requirement to approach you, they do their best to keep the conversation as concise as possible. 

3] They never check or go through any of your accounts on social media. When an INTJ is unwilling to connect with you, whatever you say online and offline doesn't matter to them. 

💬 Five things which would cause most INTJs to distance themselves from you: 

1] You've said or done something in the past which bothered them and you haven't properly apologized for that misunderstanding. 

2] You've displayed that you have the potential to cowardly gossip and criticize people behind their backs. 

3] They discovered that you've lied to them numerous times and you have proven to be very unreliable. 

4] They can sense that you're a greedy opportunist who selfishly cares a lot more about their own wants than others' needs. 

5] They realized that they can't learn anything valuable from you and your presence doesn't inspire them in any way.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Al-Azimabadi said, “That he hates for the sake of Allah does not mean he harms the one he hates. Rather, the hatred is for his unbelief and disobedience.”

Source: 'Awn Al-Ma’būd 4681

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/07/poem-whats-it-like-being-muslim-and-intj.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/tips-eleven-signs-indicating-intj-cares.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-choosiness-of-most-intjs-when-it.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/tips-intjs-when-they-like-you-in.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/tips-intj-acquaintance-vs-intj-friend.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/note-busy-intjs-vs-avoidant-intjs.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/note-how-most-intj-personality-types.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-long-you-hold-a-grudge-according-to-your-personality-type/

Tips: The Difference Between Self-Respect And Big Ego

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Five examples to clarify the differences between having self-respect (commendable) and struggling with a big ego (actual kibr / arrogance which we must avoid for Allah's sake): 

1🔹 When a salesperson, janitor or stranger calls you "sir" mistakenly if you're female or "ma'am" whether on purpose or unintentionally if you are male: 

❌ If you have an ego problem: You'd instantly snap, feeling intensely offended, and insult them in such a way they'll be too scared to make the same mistake when dealing with you, because you're "superior" while they're "nobody". 

✅ If you have self-respect: You'd calmly understand that they probably didn't mean it, and if they did, you would feel sorry for them, assuming they're likely struggling with some insecurities. This, awareness of their struggles and the rewards of patience, inspires you to forgive their mistake and confidently move on, refusing to partake in conflict which can negatively affect your overall well-being. 

2🔹 When a customer cuts in line and pushes your shopping cart to place theirs ahead of you: 

❌ If you have an ego problem: You'd argue with them without first carefully thinking about the consequences of participating in drama.

✅ If you have self-respect: You would courageously ask the person if they noticed the other shoppers already queuing before they arrived and request them to join the queue appropriately, or if you believe that a conversation with them won't change anything, you simply transfer to a different cashier's counter, uninterested in playing games with childish adults. 

3🔹 When a certain colleague or acquaintance whose vibes don't mesh with yours frequently brags about how awesome their life is whenever they find the opportunity to talk to you: 

❌ If you have an ego problem: You'd pridefully compete in boasting about your own joys and accomplishments, particularly on social media, with the sole intention of making them feel jealous and "inferior" then gossip about how much you can't stand them to your circle of confidants. 

✅ If you have self-respect: You'd maintain basic courtesy as you minimize unnecessary conversations with them because of how toxic they can be, and unfollow their posts on social media. From respecting yourself is to avoid paying attention to insecure individuals who can't inspire you to become a better Muslim, while ignoring content on the internet which trigger bad moods.

4🔹 When you discover that a group of persons whom you thought were your friends go on a trip without you for the third time: 

❌ If you have an ego problem: You'd angrily post passive-aggressive Facebook status updates about them, tag their names on public posts that are related to "fake friends" or temporary friendships, or go on an outing not with them but with another set of acquaintances then broadcast your instant payback to soothe your hurt pride, unaware that they didn't invite you because they genuinely assumed you were busy. 

✅ If you have self-respect: You'd approach some, if not all, of the members of the squad to inform them how you're interested in joining them on future outings so you can be included in their plans next time. Otherwise, you could regard them as mere acquaintances instead of friends without feeling bothered about their choice to exclude you, accepting the fact that Allah the Most Wise already destined who from His servants are meant to actually connect with you. 

5🔹 When a guest at a wedding takes the seat which you reserved and it was left unattended because you had to go to the restroom: 

❌ If you have an ego problem: You'd furiously command them to get up and give "your" chair back when there are other chairs available. 

✅ If you have self-respect: With calmness you'd look for a different chair or request a waiter at the venue to bring another one, uninterested in starting a petty fight all because of an inanimate object.

✖️ When you have a huge ego, a lot of your actions, such as your decision to discontinue communicating with a particular individual, are the result of acting irrationally upon negative emotions including anger, sadness and jealousy. 

✔️ When you are practicing self-respect, you strive for Allah's sake to ensure that your deeds are driven by logic, not fluctuating feelings, and your choices are based on what makes most sense to you in compliance with your values. Self-respect is not something to be ashamed of when it motivates you to do what Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and His noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam love.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives another but that Allah increases his honor, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah but that Allah raises his status."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2588

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed (or atom) of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise." Someone said, "But a man loves to have beautiful clothes and shoes." The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on the people."

In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of faith in his heart will enter Hellfire."

Source: Sahih Muslim 91

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/poem-i-am-just-one-of-allahs-servants.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/poem-be-humble-all-humans-are-allahs.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-nine-signs-of-actual-narcissists.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-what-real-arrogance-is-and-what-it.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-actual-narcissists-vs-actually.html