Note: Checklist To Determine If You Have Some Narcissistic Qualities

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Checklist to determine if you are a narcissist, who is mostly driven by pride / kibr and lacks ability to empathize with others: 

1 ] Whenever you enter a room that is occupied with some people, arrive at a crowded mall, or attend a social gathering, do you immediately expect a number of individuals to first greet you with a grandiose welcome, or compliment on your good looks or new outfit / haircut / accessory? Do you feel offended if you don't receive VIP (very important person) treatment?

2 ] If an entire day passes by without getting undivided attention from a specific person or loved one, would you feel empty because you're accustomed to receiving compliments and enjoy it when all eyes are on you? 

3 ] Do you feel overly confident and proud of your outward appearance, tall height, and fit figure? Do you get jealous, even slightly envious, when you discover that someone else online or offline appears more attractive than you? 

4 ] Was there an occasion when you distributed some items or gifts to the guests while purposely leaving a particular individual out because you personally despised the latter? Do you habitually go out of your way to let somebody know that you despise them, instead of maturely keeping unwarranted feelings to yourself? 

5 ] When it comes to choosing your close friends, do you chase those who seem to have abundant wealth or impressive status in society, so the connection benefits your selfish personal gain? If someone isn't as good-looking, healthy, or wealthy as you, do you dismiss their efforts in trying to be more acquainted? 

6 ] When an individual annoys you or embarrasses you in front of others, do you later spend a considerable amount of time plotting of ways to get even the next minute you see them, instead of analyzing the possible reasons for their misconduct? 

7 ] Is it challenging for you to say nice things about another individual on their looks, achievements, or skills, because you pridefully believe that you're way more superior, and nobody on earth can equal your awesomeness? 

8 ] Do you have a bad habit of interrupting people's conversations without sincerely apologizing or clarifying why you're in a hurry? 

9 ] Is it difficult or intimidating for you to apologize when you've made a mistake or tell someone that you love them? 

10 ] Do you often bring food to gatherings with reluctance and unwillingly give what you can share only to display that you're "generous", "caring" or "fabulous" at gift-giving? Were there times when you gave some people some freebies not due to genuine kindness but because you wanted the recipients to return your shady generosity?

11 ] Does gossiping, fault-finding, or laughing at others' flaws come to you naturally? Was there more than one incident when a person whom you disliked turned their back on you or walked away, and you made an offensive remark about them which caused your friends nearby to laugh or giggle?

Allah the Almighty knows best. If you answered "yes" to at least five of the above questions, then you may have some traits that are characteristic of narcissists. 

❌ 5 Things you can't do with narcissists:

1 ) You can't trust them at all, since they care more about themselves and their gigantic ego than you and your betterment. 

2 ) You can never tell them any secret, because they'll either make fun of you or utilize the info you shared with them as a hot topic for their immature gossip. 

3 ) You can't ask them for sincere advice, as seeing you progress or improve in any way adds misery to their life. 

4 ) You can't expect them to support or cheer for you when you're trying to start a project, pass an exam, or attain a certain goal. A narcissist loves to assume that they're always right, "flawless", more successful than you and they celebrate whenever they see you fall. 

5 ) You can't feel good around narcissists because every meeting with them is an invitation to compete in terms of worldly matters. You can sense your level of faith/Imaan becoming weaker each time they deliberately attempt to make you feel ashamed, incompetent or inferior. 

To protect your faith/Imaan and emotional well-being, avoid narcissists for Allah's sake or minimize unnecessary interactions with them. 

~•~

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe (not guilty of backbiting, telling lies, and knowingly committing injustice). The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah the Almighty) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of arrogance (atom's weight of kibr) in his heart will enter Paradise." A man said, “But a man likes to have nice clothes and nice shoes.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance is to disregard (or reject) the truth and to look down upon the people."

Source: Sahih Muslim 91

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-nine-signs-of-actual-narcissists.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-what-it-means-to-be-actually.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-what-real-arrogance-is-and-what-it.html

https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-with-a-Narcissistic-Friend

Poem: What It Means To Boycott And Warning Against Boycotting Another Muslim

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Five scenarios to clarify what boycotting means, 

What prideful boycotting looks like while it's not esteemed, 

As it entails arrogance that disrupts harmony, 

Harms Muslim communities and divides families, 

As though pleasing Allah matters less than how one feels:

~•~

First scene - An 'adult' who moves out of her fam's abode, 

After some misunderstandings which haven't been solved. 

Many months pass by, and from her there's no text, no calls, 

And her own parents don't receive a salaam at all. 

When will she reconnect? When Allah retrieves her soul?

~•~

Second - When a Muslim who claims to appreciate 

Good manners and forgiving others for Allah's sake 

Decides to block your profile online so there's no way 

To check on them, send salaams, or explain your mistakes, 

And if you cross paths offline, they awkwardly escape.

~•~

Third - When you're asked to attend an ex-friend's funeral, 

And in traveling to their place there's no obstacle, 

Despite not being busy, you grant them refusal, 

No Du'a for the dead because pride makes you recall 

Your frequent quarrels or how your friendship had to fall.

~•~

Fourth - When you're in a conference, social gathering, 

Or wedding, and someone you once liked greets you smiling,

And instead of answering, you stare at them scowling, 

And so long as they're nearby, you choose to stay silent, 

Unaware acting sulky shows you're unconfident.

~•~

Fifth - When the person you're avoiding asks for advice, 

Financial support, or assistance of any kind, 

While you have the means or know how to kindly reply, 

You leave their messages on seen mode, or say goodbye 

By blocking them, and you refuse to apologize.

~•~

It's normal to argue with loved ones, once in a while, 

And feeling hurt makes it hard to look them in the eyes. 

After three days though, one must be brave enough to rise 

And say salaam to please Allah, and ditch lousy pride. 

If you can't reconcile, at least forgive from inside.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "It is not lawful for a Muslim to boycott his brother for more than three days. Whoever boycotts for more than three days and dies (upon that state of arrogantly boycotting), he will enter Hellfire."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4914

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna’ut

📖 Abu Ayyub RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "It is not lawful for a Muslim to boycott his brother for more than three nights, such that they meet each other and turn away from one another. The better of the two is the one who initiates the (salaam) greeting of peace."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5727

Sahih Muslim 2560

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Do not hate each other, do not envy each other, do not turn away from each other, but rather be servants of Allah as brothers. It is not lawful for a Muslim to boycott his brother for more than three days."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5718

Sahih Muslim 2559

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

https://abdurrahman.org/2014/10/08/boycotting-the-people-of-bida-shaykh-al-albaani/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-maintain-noble-manners-even-with.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/07/note-when-to-allow-toxic-friends-to.html

Poem: Some Of The Reasons Why Some Muslim Men Remarry

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Seven reasons why a Muslim man may remarry, 

Keeping the first wife while loving another lady, 

While he can afford, with financial ability, 

To try his best to care for multiple wives fairly:

~•~

One: The woman whom a married guy wants to marry 

May be someone whom he went on dates with formerly, 

When he was ignorant, back in university, 

Or in high school, and by marrying her lawfully, 

He protects himself from zina and adultery. 

~•~

Two: He's fatherly, likes kids, and wishes to increase 

The size of his family, or the first can't conceive 

More babies, or she's tested with infertility. 

Three: The woman happens to be one of his colleagues. 

By having her as his wife, he preserves chastity.

~•~

Four: With a wife from a different tribe or country, 

The man seeks to strengthen the Muslim community. 

By marrying from another nationality 

Or background, one plays a role in bringing harmony 

Among Muslims and tribalism too can decrease.

~•~

Five: To comply with the request of the first wifey, 

Who aims to ensure that her husband is not guilty 

Of zina when encountering fitna, specially 

If he works or studies in a faraway city, 

And her agreement proves that her love for him is real.

~•~

Six: He's the kind of guy who gets fed up easily, 

Gets bored with just one lover and fixed daily routine. 

You can't blame him if how he was brought up previously 

Taught him it's fine to be spoiled and meet needs instantly.

Wives of such kind of guys are trained to love patiently.

~•~

Seven: He manages branches in various cities. 

With a wife in each assigned place, he can guarantee, 

With Allah's Will, extra output and efficiency. 

As a Muslim servant, don't question Allah's Decree, 

And as your husband's wife, if you know your love is real, 

You'd never leave, even if your soulmate remarries.

~•~

📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Marriage is part of my Sunnah. Whoever does not act upon my Sunnah is not part of me. Give each other in marriage, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him contract a marriage. Whoever does not have the means should fast, as fasting will restrain his impulses."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 1846

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/7079/%D8%AA%D8%B9%D8%AF%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AD%D9%83%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%87

https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/4883/%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%86%D9%83%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D8%B9%D8%AF%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%AA%C2%A0

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-to-those-not-strong-enough-to.html

Poem: Some Advice To Each Muslimah Who's About To Be A Second Wife

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 To each lady who's about to be a second wife, 

Who agreed to a man's proposal as she admires 

How he strives to be righteous, responsible and kind, 

And though she sees that he's married, she knows from inside 

That having him as her spouse adds blessings to her life: 

~•~

Don't feel guilty of saying yes. No need to think twice 

If the man you'll marry already has a good wife, 

While you're aware that she's fine, as she humbly complies 

With Allah's Laws, and she confirms that's her husband's right 

To remarry and double the joys of marriage life. 

~•~

Before the Waleemah your intention purify. 

Eagerness to be closer to Allah should be why 

You're willing to welcome polygynous marriage life, 

Not to break families, force him to leave his first wife, 

Not to seize his wealth nor cause any marital strife.

~•~

Regard your husband's first wife as a friend who inspires 

You to keep loving your spouse, with patience day and night, 

Like readers sharing a book that's precious and worthwhile, 

And they're careful not to cause damage, tears at the sides, 

And if there are stains, both would fix or apologize.

~•~

Since you're wed to a human who errs once in a while, 

Remember to assist him, guide, remind and advise. 

Be strong enough to forgive each other, empathize, 

And encourage him to never neglect his first wife. 

Aspire to ensure your love life leads to Paradise.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "If a man has two wives and he is not just (fair) between them, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides collapsed."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1141 

Grade: Sahih 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 4252

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/poem-from-signs-of-pious-wives-is-they.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-confessions-of-wife-who-welcomes.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-to-those-not-strong-enough-to.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-quick-advice-for-wife-whos-about.html

Hadith: Warning Against Miserliness And Selfishness When You Have The Means To Share

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Allah (the Almighty) said: 'Spend in charity, O son of Adam, and I shall spend on you.'"

Source: Sahih Muslim 993

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives another but that Allah increases his honor, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah but that Allah raises his status."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2588

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

📖 Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Two qualities are never combined in a (true) believer: Miserliness and bad character."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1962

Grade: Sahih li ghayrihi (Authentic due to external evidence) according to Al-Albani