๐ In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
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๐ Five things which you can do to avoid feeling overwhelmed by unreasonable grudges, how to have patience with someone's presence so your inability to like them doesn't disrupt your inner peace:
1] Remember that they are Allah's servants who are prone to making mistakes, and know that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala will question them about their actions on the Day of Judgment.
2] Understand that they may also have critics or enemies of their own (from some relatives, clients, colleagues etc.). Since you're not the only human being on earth who has an issue with them, failure to establish a meaningful connection with them shouldn't be a major problem.
3] Feel sorry for them if whatever they're doing online or offline which bothers you at times is triggered by depression or low self-esteem. Maybe they are struggling with some kind of personality disorder or difficulty that compels them to act in a manner which you disapprove of.
4] If they're a neighbor, colleague or casual acquaintance (whom you're not interested in being close to for some reason), try to recall at least two instances when they did something which you genuinely appreciated - for instance, when they gave you a ride to attend a conference or gathering together, when they shared with you some personal info about themselves believing that you are indeed a trustworthy person, and when they went out of their way to buy you a drink or offered something which they hoped you would like etc. Often recalling the favors and kind gestures which people have done can remove or lessen negative feelings towards them.
5] If you and this person have the same archenemy, namely shaytan, while you both sincerely strive to become better Muslims every night and day, then don't waste your energy despising them. Simply unfollow their social media posts and unapologetically minimize unnecessary conversations with them if you are not comfortable with their vibes. No need to stalk their Facebook profiles nor gossip about them, so you can
Inn-sha-Allah enjoy inner peace and contentment.
Patiently accept Allah's Qadr/Destiny of preventing certain souls from befriending you. Maybe your association or affiliation with them could have resulted in more fitna/trials than actual blessings.
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๐ Anas ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: We were sitting with the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and he said, "Coming upon you now is a man from the people of Paradise." A man from the Ansaar came whose beard was disheveled by the water of ablution and he was carrying both of his shoes with his left hand. The next day the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam repeated the same words, and the man came in the same condition. The third day the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam repeated the same statement again, and the man came in the same condition. When the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam stood up to leave, Abdullah ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu followed the man and he said, “I am in a dispute with my father and I have sworn not to enter my home for three days. May I stay with you?” The man said "yes".
Abdullah RadhiAllahu 'anhu stayed three nights with the man but he never saw him praying at night (Tahajjud). Whenever he went to bed, he would remember Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) and rest until he woke up for the morning prayer. Abdullah RadhiAllahu 'anhu said that he never heard anything but good words from his mouth. When three nights had passed and he did not see anything special (extraordinary) about his actions, Abdullah RadhiAllahu 'anhu asked him, “O servant of Allah, I have not been in a dispute with my father nor have I cut relations with him. I heard the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam say three times that a man from the people of Paradise was coming to us and then you came. I thought I should stay with you to see what you are doing that I should follow, but I did not see you do anything special. Why did the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam speak highly of you?” The man said, “I am as you have seen.” When Abdullah RadhiAllahu 'anhu was about to leave, the man said, “I am as you have seen, except that I do not find dishonesty in my soul towards the Muslims (no desire to deceive any Muslim) and I do not envy anyone because of the good that Allah has given them.” Abdullah RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, “This is what you have achieved and it is something we (many people) have not accomplished.”
Source: Musnad Ahmed 12286
Source: Sahih (Authentic) according to Ibn Kathir
