بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين

بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين
May Allah the Almighty grant us more beneficial knowledge, accept our good deeds, forgive our mistakes, protect us from fitna, and join us with the righteous believers in Jannatul Ferdaus. Ameen.

Saturday, July 15, 2023

Tips: So What If They Didn't Invite Me? At Least I Don't Have To Put Up With Their Gossip And Meaningless Convos

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: As an introverted intuitive (INTJ-A), what's your usual reaction when you discover that some mutual acquaintances or family members are about to attend a gathering which you were not invited to?
📝 Answer: 1] If the host of the social event or gathering is a person whom I genuinely care about and like for Allah's sake, I'd ask one of the invitees, as well as the host directly, if it's okay for me to join them. If they make it clear that I can go, then 
Inn-sha-Allah I'd tag along, and if I can sense that they're uncomfortable with me going, then Alhamdulillah I'd gladly keep my distance, respecting their choice of not including me in their activities which Allah the Most Wise obviously didn't destine for me.
2] If the person hosting the event is a complete stranger or somebody whom I'm not interested in befriending, then I won't bother approaching the invitees with questions like "Why didn't you tell me about this?", "How come they didn't invite me?" Or "Do you think it would be a nice surprise for them if I accompany you?" etc. Instead of unnecessarily worrying about why I wasn't invited, I'd patiently accept the fact that: 
1•) Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala did not decree that I'd attend their gathering. Additionally it's an actual blessing that I am not part of such event if it involves fitna, ridiculous gossiping and silly attempts to make each other jealous to soothe subtle insecurities.
2•) The hosts and I aren't closely associated or familiar with one another, so it makes sense that I wouldn't be part of their list of guests to invite, particularly if we haven't spoken to each other in a long time or most of our conversations feel awfully artificial.
3•) All in all, their goals, temperament and interests most likely differ from mine. I would also refrain from inviting certain individuals to a project or group activity if their values oppose what I value.
3] Since I wasn't directly invited to their gathering, I would avoid stalking the social media posts and uploads of the hosts who didn't include me and similarly respect myself enough to stay away from browsing around any online content of those who attended the event without me. No benefit can be gained from acting like a snoop or nosy spy obnoxiously prying into issues which do not concern him at all. 
4] Imagine the disadvantages of attending their gathering including unwillingly pretending to listen to meaningless dialogues and putting up with the pointless bragging or fibbing of selfish narcissists. 
5] Acknowledge the truth that I'm not the only soul in this whole universe who has been purposely excluded or viewed as the "outcast" or "weirdo". Oftentimes it's one of Allah's tests that He surrounds you with inwardly sorrowful, insecure or narcissistic people whose envious grudge against you compels them to do whatever they can to demotivate you because your strong faith Imaan and connection with Allah the Most Loving, or your beautiful heart and lofty aspirations remind them of their dissatisfaction with themselves.
~•~
📖 Suhayb RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Amazing is the affair of the believer, as there is good for him in every matter. This is not the case for anyone but for the (true Muslim) believer. If he goes through ease (or happy moments), he thanks Allah (The Almighty) and it is good for him. If he goes through difficulty, he shows patience and it is good for him."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2999
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah (The Almighty), and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 
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Friday, July 14, 2023

Tips: Some Secrets To Not Feeling Guilty About Not Being Able To Attend Every Wedding

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
📝 Some secrets to not feeling guilty at all about declining a wedding invitation: 
1. Remind yourself of the real reason/s why you decided in the first place that you couldn't attend the wedding. Some justifiable reasons for not attending a social event include: Insufficient budget for transportation to reach the wedding venue and overspending is something you avoid as much as possible, being preoccupied with several tasks or assignments to complete, receiving direct instruction from your husband to not go to a certain place particularly if the destination is too far, not feeling well physically and/or emotionally etc. 
2. Recall at least two instances when you had your own gathering or when you were present at an occasion and this person was not able to show up. If they're incapable of attending every gathering you go to, you too shouldn't feel guilty about not having the means to appear at every celebration they attend.
3. Be grateful Alhamdulillah that at least you have more time and opportunity to focus on other responsibilities.
4. Be contented knowing that
 Inn-sha-Allah the meals which the hosts may have reserved for you can be given to somebody else who probably requires them a lot more than you do. 
5. Remember that answering the calls to pray to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala (the five obligatory prayers) is much more important and more rewarding then having to say yes to every wedding invitation, especially if there's a possibility that a person's wedding includes music, folk dance performance or unnecessary mixing among males and females who are not mahrams etc.
6. Acknowledge the truth that the host has other acquaintances and relatives whom they also invited but some of them are unable to turn up due to understandable excuses for not attending. You're not the only one on earth who politely declined a wedding invitation - and even if you were, the host should be confident enough to forgive you for not attending. 
7. Look forward Inn-sha-Allah to meeting the hosts in the future and greeting them again, maintaining good manners, patience and contentment, for Allah's sake, as a striving Muslim.
~•~
📖 Suhayb RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Amazing is the affair of the believer, as there is good for him in every matter. This is not the case for anyone but for the (true Muslim) believer. If he goes through ease (or happy moments), he thanks Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) and it is good for him. If he goes through difficulty, he shows patience (for Allah's sake) and it is (also) good for him."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2999
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah (The Almighty) than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase 'if only' opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 
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Sunday, July 9, 2023

Tips: When Some Things In This Dunya Don't Go As Planned

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

🗒️ Question: As a Muslimah whose MBTI personality type is INTJ-A, usually how do you behave when some things don't go as planned?
📝 Answer: Three examples of situations when I intended to do something or wanted to complete a particular task but, with Allah's Will, I wasn't able to carry it out: 
1] When I looked forward to arriving at a graduation venue with a motorized tricycle before at least 7:30 AM so I could briefly converse with some of the students and mothers who arrived earlier, but we reached the place at around 8 AM since the driver who previously agreed to grant transportation wasn't fully certain about where he was going.
2] When I was willing to meet and interview the mother of the groom, during the wedding of one of my maternal nieces, and have lengthy discussions with a number of my relatives whom I haven't seen in a long time, but several setbacks prevented us from observing the entire event. Since I couldn't properly attend the occasion, I didn't bother browsing around online for a single content or status update connected to the ceremony. Respect yourself enough to not give your attention to anybody who could be a cowardly narcissist acting like an overgrown bully desperate to disappoint you to appease their emotional insecurities or alleviate their envy of you.
3] When I was really eager to sit beside or close to my dear husband in a vehicle before he traveled to Saudi Arabia recently, very much anticipating sitting near him to listen to him speak that I even asked Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala to decree that there'd be sufficient space for me but there wasn't any so I followed my husband to the airport with one of his nieces driving another car. 

✅ What you can do when some things don't work out as you had hoped for: 
1] Adamantly believe that Allah the Almighty is the Only One Who has absolute control of all His creation and servants. Nothing ever occurs in the whole universe unless Allah the Most Wise allows its occurrence.
2] Even before you were created and formed as an embryo, understand that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala already predestined and decreed your set of probable actions to choose from as well as their outcomes. Patiently accept the consequences of your intentional actions, learn from your mistakes and have Sabr with Allah's Qadr as a Muslim.
3] Try to gain wisdom from every incident, see what lessons you can derive from each disappointment, or look forward
Inn-sha-Allah to earning rewards for striving to maintain patience. 
4] Imagine the potential problems or avoidable pitfalls you could have encountered if you actually did what you planned to do. Sometimes Allah the All-Knowing may prevent certain things from happening, such as establishing a connection with some strangers, because He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala knows they're just bad news for you - their mere existence can't benefit you at all in this world and the afterlife.
5] Remember that even the most noble of all human beings namely the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam went through various trials, challenges and predicament including that instance when he and many pilgrims were ordered to abruptly cancel or postpone their pilgrimage during the treaty of Hudaybiyyah. From the lessons achievable in this aspect is to not feel surprised when those who lack faith Imaan and Taqwa suddenly show you their incompetence or unreliability.
~•~
📖 Ibn Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah (The Almighty) has recorded good and evil deeds and He (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) made them clear. Whoever intends to perform a good deed but does not do it, Allah will record it as a complete good deed. If he intends to do it (the good deed) and does so, Allah the Almighty will record it as ten good deeds, up to seven hundred times as much or even more. If he intends to do an evil deed and does not do it, Allah will record for him one complete good deed. If he does it, Allah will record for him as one evil deed."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6126 
Sahih Muslim 131
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Suhayb RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Amazing is the affair of the believer, as there is good for him in every matter. This is not the case for anyone but for the believer. If he goes through ease (or happy moments), he thanks Allah and it is good for him. If he goes through difficulty, he shows patience and it is good for him."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2999
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah (the Almighty), and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 
https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-dealing-with-letdowns-and.html 
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Saturday, July 8, 2023

Tips: If Your Husband Resumes Smoking Here's What You Can Do

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: What advice can you give to a Muslimah whose husband promised to her that he'll never smoke again if he can afford to buy a new car or if one of his older relatives agrees, with Allah's Will, to finance his Hajj/pilgrimage, and then after some time her husband resumed smoking?
📝 Answer: I'd advise her to:
1] Still forgive her husband sincerely for Allah's sake, remembering the undeniable fact that he's precisely similar to her in being a human who's prone to committing errors now and then. 
2] Divert her attention away from the "broken promise" and instead recall all of the wonderful things which her husband lovingly did in the past, appreciating his notable qualities while patiently hoping for his gradual development and improvement as a Muslim, aware that humans weren't born to be absolutely infallible. 
3] Remember the main and actual purpose (her true niyyah/intention) of her willingly accepting her husband's marriage proposal from the beginning. The more frequently you remind yourself about your goals or the real reasons for doing something, the less likely you'd want to quit such task or undertaking, particularly if your deed is intended to please Only Allah the Almighty.
4] Allow your husband to admire your capability of being wholeheartedly forgiving and lenient towards him for Allah's sake. 
Inn-sha-Allah your other half / soulmate may eventually quit his addiction. Having the inner strength to show forgiveness is an essential quality of very close friends.
5] Alhamdulillah stay contented and be glad that your husband isn't guilty of an offense which is far more serious. 

Allah the Most Wise knows best. 
A sin which is committed several times but it leads to lots of Istighfaar and Tawbah is better than a wrongdoing which is forsaken not for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala but out of fearing one's wife. The ideal Muslim zawja (wife) should let her husband transform at his own pace, knowing that many transformations actually require some time.
~•~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātih 5/2125
📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."
Source: Sahih Muslim 1467
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abu Qatadah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah the Almighty but that Allah will replace it with something better."
Source: Musnad Ahmed 22565
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
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Thursday, July 6, 2023

Note: Don't Accept A Guy's Marriage Proposal If He Does Any Of These 9 Things

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 
🗒️ If a guy knowingly does at least two of these things, then it may be wiser for a Muslimah to reject his marriage proposal: 
1] If it is obvious that he does not take his Salah seriously, and he frequently lacks the courage to take initiative to pray inside the Masjid, or if it is one of his bad habits to deliberately delay praying the obligatory prayers. 
2] If it is clear that he has zero interest in learning more about Islam and he doesn't bother attending any Islamic lecture eagerly. 
3] If he has publicly made fun of any Muslimah for her decision to wear the niqab or if he has previously joked about Muslim men who choose to keep their beards long.
4] If he is already married, with or without children, while he is currently jobless and obviously struggling financially. Your level of faith (Imaan) and patience (Sabr) should be extremely high if you're willing to stay married to this kind of man.
5] If he insists that you both "run away to a different city or village" and he wants an "elopement wedding" - that you marry him in secrecy, without the presence of your mother and/or father as well as other relatives. 
6] If he confirms that many of his belongings are bought on credit while he owes several individuals a large amount of money, and this indebted guy wishes to give your mahr dowry later at an unspecified date 
Inn-sha-Allah in the future. 
7] If it is known that he had multiple divorces while his ex-wives complain about how he is generally unkind, unfair and consistently unavailable (physically and emotionally).
8] If he is intentionally disrespectful towards his mother and any of his sisters or other female relatives. 
9] If there is established evidence of him struggling from being addicted to drugs or intoxicants, and he takes pride in his addiction (online and offline).
~•~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If someone (a true Muslim) proposes marriage to you whose religion and character satisfies you, then you should accept it. If you do not do so, there will be trials on the earth and the spread of corruption."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1084
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, should women be asked for their consent (permission) before marriage?” The noble Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Yes." I said, “Indeed, sometimes a virgin is too shy to speak when asked.” The beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Her silence (not resisting nor complaining) is her consent (evidence that she is okay with the marriage proposal)."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6547
Sahih Muslim 1420
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
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