Tips: How To Deal With Envious Narcissists And Insecure Bullies When They Try To Make You Feel Left Out

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Three examples of situations in which cowardly passive-aggressive narcissists or jealous and insecure bullies would attempt to make you doubt your self-worth and exclude you, probably to soothe unpleasant feelings of envy or to childishly get back at you for something you did in the past which offended their pride: 

1] They directly invited you to a wedding or formal gathering, but when the day of the event arrives, you discover that you're not allowed to enter the venue because your name wasn't listed in the guest list. 

✅ How to deal: 

1🔹 For Allah's sake stay strong, calm and collected. Say some Adhkaar and Du'a to maintain your composure.

2🔹 Cleverly analyze the possible reasons behind the act and imagine yourself being the subject of a silly prank show or social experiment where shaytan and his delusional puppets are eager to watch you overreact irrationally. Avoid showing them the reaction which they want. 

3🔹 If you couldn't speak to any of the hosts personally so they can explain their side or grant you entry if there was an actual mistake in not including your name, calmly return to your residence, and with patience accept Allah's Qadr/Destiny, or try visiting another friend or more preferably some relatives whom you haven't visited in a while. 

4🔹 If the hosts failed to apologize to you for not including your name, let their awful conduct be a reminder to never trust them. As much as possible, abstain from dealing with them in the future, while maintaining basic good manners whenever you must communicate with one another. 

5🔹 Without an ounce of regret, gladly stop checking their Facebook posts and quit paying attention to the online content of anybody who fails to motivate you to become a better Muslim, to preserve your emotional and religious well-being. 

2] They invite you to participate in a feast but upon arriving at the hall or table, you realize that all the seats are taken and you can sense the ambience isn't very welcoming. 

✅ How to deal: 

1🔹 Confidently greet the group with cheerful vibes even if their energy is temporarily depressing. 

2🔹 Assertively pull out a chair from one of the nearby tables or neighboring rooms and choose the best place where you can be seated comfortably. If additional chairs are unavailable, you may sit on the floor or find a flat surface which you can take as a seat until one of the chairs is vacant, or ask the hosts politely for other ideas.

3🔹 Share a witty remark or ask some questions to do away with the awkward silence, such as "Why is everybody looking so sad? Did somebody die?" or "Were you expecting me to bring some special equipments to make my entrance more grand? Sorry for the letdown." or quietly continue doing your part at the event without being affected by how other fallible humans perceive you. 

3] They cancelled an appointment with you, claiming that they're so busy with several important tasks but after some time has passed, you're informed by someone or through their social media updates that they were just socializing with other individuals instead of agreeing to meet with you or allowing you to join them. 

✅ How to deal: 

1🔹 If you believe that they have a lot of admirable qualities and keeping them in your circle of trusted friends has impacted you positively in many ways, confidently respect their freewill to do what they think is most convenient for them and don't be too clingy nor too possessive. You can 

Inn-sha-Allah find another timing to schedule a meeting with them. True friends are continually forgiving, understanding, and patient with each other. 

2🔹 Whether you've been acquainted with them for only a number of days or you have known each other's names for a long time now, you have a right to dismiss them as a potential friend, and simply view them as a stranger. Unfollow their social media posts and want nothing to do with them, as much as possible, if there's no benefit in asking them why they acted obnoxiously. You can't force donkeys and chimpanzees to behave themselves if they're not accustomed to courtesy or they are exclusively "polite" to those with similar ideologies. 

3🔹 Let their lousy behavior and narcissistic acts inspire you to thank Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala that you're not like them at all in being so emotionally disturbed that one feels the need to upset others to relieve one's distress. 

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Allah the Almighty said: 'Whoever shows hostility (enmity) to a righteous friend of Mine, I have declared war against him. My servant does not grow closer to Me with anything more beloved to Me than the obligatory duties that I have imposed upon him. My servant continues to grow closer to Me with extra good works (nawaafil deeds like praying Tahajjud, Salat Ad-Duha, and fasting Sunnah fasts) until I love him. When I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes, and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask something from Me, I would surely give it to him. Were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant it to him. I do not hesitate to do anything as I hesitate to take the soul of the believer, for he hates death and I hate to disappoint him.'"

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6137

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-remember-allah-and-you-wont-be.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/tips-jomo-joy-of-missing-out-on.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-three-tips-on-how-not-to-be-overly.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/05/tips-some-advice-on-how-to-deal-with.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-three-signs-of-people-who-are.html  

https://personalitygrowth.com/what-dealing-with-estrangement-does-to-you-based-on-your-personality-type/ 

📑 Note: Reminder to recite Surah Al-Kahf every Jumuah Friday and include the Muslim Ummah in your Du'as.

Tips: Seven Instances When One's True Colors Are Revealed

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📑 Seven instances when your true colors or real character can be revealed: 

1] When you're given a chance to lie or invent a fabricated story to impress some individuals, to avoid some sort of trouble, to make somebody feel jealous, or to take advantage of a situation selfishly or greedily. 

2] When you see an opportunity to steal, scam, deceive, cheat, or commit injustice against someone whom you dislike. 

3] When you find yourself in a secluded area with a person whom you may secretly feel attracted to, will you be strong enough to lower your gaze and very quickly walk away from them or will your nafs surrender to forbidden temptation? 

4] When you have a chance to show off unnecessarily and the main motive behind an action is not to inspire Muslims but to purposely prove that you're a lot superior to others out of pure arrogance or feeling awfully insecure from within. 

5] When another Muslim, whether a family member, neighbor, colleague or friend, cancels an appointment with you or doesn't show up at an event, will you make effort to understand their circumstances and patiently respect their decision or think of ways to get back at them in the future for the disappointment? 

6] When you notice that a person's laptop, cellphone or android tablet is left unattended, will you nosily skim through its contents, seize the gadget, or desist from stealing and being too nosy? 

7] When you must decide whether or not to generously share some belongings or gifts for Allah's sake, and when somebody whose vibes you can't stand asks you for genuine advice. 

Allah the Almighty knows best. 

~•~

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "You must be truthful. Verily, truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to be truthful and encourages honesty until he is recorded with Allah as a truthful person. And beware of falsehood. Verily, falsehood leads to wickedness and wickedness leads to the Hellfire. A man continues to tell lies and encourages falsehood until he is recorded with Allah as a liar."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5743 

Sahih Muslim 2607

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "There are four signs that make someone a pure hypocrite and whoever has them has a characteristic of hypocrisy until he abandons it: When he speaks, he lies; when he makes a covenant, he is treacherous; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when he argues, he is wicked."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 34, Sahih Muslim 58

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, among the worst of people is one with two faces, he who comes with one face to these and another to those."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6757

Sahih Muslim 2526

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/note-five-examples-of-business-scams-or.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-virtues-of-staying-truthful.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/tips-three-reasons-why-most-people-cant.html 

https://abukhadeejah.com/chapter-1-obligation-of-having-a-true-and-sincere-intention-al-harawi-40-hadeeth/ 

https://www.salafisounds.com/be-truthful-and-keep-away-from-lying-traits-of-a-true-believer-by-abu-khadeejah/ 

Note: Five Reasons To Be Carefully Selective Regarding Your Choice Of Close Friends

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Five reasons to be carefully selective regarding your choice of close friends: 

1] You don't want to waste your time and money on individuals who may be ungrateful, narcissistic, self-entitled, unsupportive and secretly envious of you, particularly if their overall presence can't inspire you to become a better Muslim in any way. 

2] You do not wish to have any affiliation with groups or cliques of people who are frequently involved in crimes, illegal acts, deception, pointless drama, and aimless arguments with other associations. 

3] You'd rather conserve your energy and spend it wisely for Allah's sake on more productive and meaningful matters than pretend to enjoy insipid conversations with people whose goals are too different from yours. 

4] Being the subject of some people's gossip is not something you find agreeable. Since you don't want to be the cause of many Muslims earning sins through backbiting, you readily distance yourself from those whom you have discovered are inclined to believing in rumors and gossiping. 

5] As a generally focused and goal-oriented Muslim, anybody and anything which could distract you from serving Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala properly are avoided for Allah's sake unapologetically, as much as possible. Your selectiveness doesn't imply that you assume you're better than the majority of humanity on earth but you simply do not aspire to greet remorse in this world and on Judgment Day for selecting the wrong kind of friends who try to connect with you for their own selfish agenda.

~•~

📖 Abu Musa RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, the parable (similitude, example) of good company and a bad company is that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk will give you some perfume, you will buy some, or you will notice a good smell. As for the blacksmith, he will burn your clothes or you will notice a bad smell."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5534, Sahih Muslim 2628

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi

📖 Ibn Hibban reported: Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, "A righteous companion is better than solitude, and solitude is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."

Source: Rawḍat Al-‘Uqalā’ 56 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-trust-allah-almighty-and-strive-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/12/poem-stay-careful-and-selective-when-it.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-whats-it-like-being-muslim.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/07/note-five-benefits-of-being-socially.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-choosiness-of-most-intjs-when-it.html 

Note: Five Signs Which Indicate That You're Not Jealous At All

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Five signs that you're actually not jealous of a person even though some individuals like to imagine that you are "envious": 

1] As much as possible you refrain from gossiping about them negatively or discussing their defects pointlessly with others behind their backs. 

2] You don't stalk their social media accounts with malicious motives, desperate to check if they've posted upsetting news so you can mock their misery or eager to collect more info about them so you know how to compete and prove your "superiority". 

3] You avoid intentional attempts to make them feel left out at gatherings, meetings and virtual group conversations. 

4] Every time they speak, or even when they're silent, you don't roll your eyes with resentment. Regardless of their tone of voice or errors they commit occasionally, you are incapable of ridiculing how they sound because, in the first place, you're not guilty of envy. 

5] You don't feel the need to bully them to pacify unpleasant feelings of inadequacy nor do you treat them unfairly. Since you're not jealously threatened by their presence, you have the ability to keep your cool and maintain decent manners with them despite a few dissimilarities.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith and envy do not combine within a believing servant."

In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith are never combined in the heart of a servant."

Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Do not envy each other, do not outbid each other, do not hate each other, do not turn away from each other, and do not outsell each other. Rather, be servants of Allah as brothers. The Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He does not wrong him, nor humiliate him, nor look down upon him. Righteousness is here," and he pointed to his chest three times. The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "It is enough evil for a man to look down upon his Muslim brother. The entirety of the Muslim is sacred to another Muslim: his life, his wealth, and his reputation."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2564

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-thank-allah-for-blessings-he-chose.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-more-contented-you-are-with-allahs.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/05/tips-how-to-deal-with-people-whose.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/07/poem-some-ways-to-detect-jealous-haters.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/poem-some-secrets-to-not-feeling.html 

Poem: Please, Don't Assume I Envy Lifestyles Which Allah Doesn't Like

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ The likeness of narcissists who foolishly take pride 

In their lavish cribs, luxury rides, pricey attire, 

And worldly joys while they deny Jannah Paradise, 

Is that of prideful donkeys desperate to be admired

For dried twigs they amassed while discarding gold nearby, 

~•~

Or disturbed monkeys in a safari park at night

Showing off their treasures of banana peels they like, 

While there's no valid reason to envy their lifestyle, 

Specially if they're misguided, can't tell wrong from right, 

And this dunya's delusions depress them from inside. 

~•~

I can't inspire myself to feel jealous of the lives 

Of avaricious people whom Allah doesn't guide 

To Islam, charity and belief in Paradise, 

Specially if they're not wise enough to realize 

This world is a test and demise can come anytime. 

~•~ 

If ever you encounter narcissists who take pride 

In their lavish cribs, luxury rides, pricey attire, 

And "poor" is a word they, with kibr, use to describe 

You, while you're contented, not jealous of their lifestyle, 

Specially if there are signs by Allah they're despised, 

~•~ 

Tell yourself: No need for their temporary delights, 

Materialism is not something which Allah likes, 

And your wealth won't join you in your grave when death arrives. 

Don't bother desiring this world's pleasures masked with lies. 

Their worth doesn't equate with true bliss in Paradise.

~•

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "There is no envy but in two cases: A man whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it rightly (for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala), and a man whom Allah has given wisdom and he judges and teaches with it."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 73

Sahih Muslim 816

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Al-Mustawrid RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "What is the example of this (dunya) worldly life in comparison to the Hereafter other than one of you dipping his finger in the sea? Let him see what he brings forth."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2858

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Three things follow a deceased person (to the person's grave). Two of them return and one remains. His family, his wealth, and his deeds follow him. His family and wealth return, but his deeds remain (with the dead in their graves)."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6149 

Sahih Muslim 2960

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O Abu Dharr, do you say an abundance of possessions is wealth?" I said 'yes.' The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Do you say a lack of possessions is poverty?" I said 'yes.' The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam repeated this three times, then he said, "Wealth is in the heart and poverty is in the heart. Whoever is wealthy in his heart will not be harmed no matter what happens in the world. Whoever is impoverished in his heart will not be satisfied no matter how much he has in the world. Verily, he will only be harmed by the greed of his own soul."

Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabīr 1618

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/poem-thank-allah-and-dont-compare-your.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/07/poem-our-main-goal-in-life-is-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-richness-in-faithimaan-and-manners.html