Note: INTJs, Bullying And Some Tips On How To Deal With Bullies

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: As an INTJ personality type, did you ever go through bullying at school? What advice can you give on dealing with bullies? 

📝 Answer: Being the only Filipino among large classrooms of Saudi and Arab females at the Arabic (private and public) schools I went to back in Riyadh city, yes, I was usually bullied by a few students. I usually had some of my money stolen or missing from my bag, was regularly laughed at when somebody would loudly pronounce my full name incorrectly, and every now and then almost wherever I went around the school there'd be a number of girls from different grade levels rudely staring at me, giggling or calling me in Arabic "Chinese" (Sseeniyyah), "Japanese" (Yaabaaniyyah), Filipina (Filibbeeniyyah) and on one occasion "French" (Faransiyyah). Imagine a Sri Lankan student with dark skin walking around the halls while random students frequently yell out "African!", "Yo blackie!" and "Chocolate mousse". It wouldn't be fun if you were in that student's place. 

I remember one instance when I was trying to pull out a folding seat at a school bus and this chubby girl was purposely preventing me from sitting beside her. Alhamdulillah after a few minutes of struggling to sit properly, an older student motioned me to be seated near her at the back. 

Eventually when I realized the negative impact of being bullied by two or three students when I was in elementary school, I informed my loving parents (Allah yarhamhuma. Ameen.) about what was going on. Alhamdulillah they were able to solve the bullying issue, with my dear mom (Allah yarhamha. Ameen.) actually contacting some of the administrators and female staff to handle the problem directly. 

I find it strange that in spite of all the times when several students would laugh at me for looking different, for my nationality and for the way my surname sounds, I couldn't feel offended and distraught at all, as if easily getting hurt when criticized for how Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala created me isn't one of my functions. Although some students and teachers would often scowl or burst into laughter when I'd do something which they'd consider silly, particularly since I struggled to communicate well in Arabic language, I remained emotionally undisturbed and unaffected by how I was perceived by people, not knowing that being an INTJ personality type could be why I generally seemed "unemotional". 

✅ Some tips on dealing with bullying (Advice to kids, teens and those young at heart): 

1] Maintain strong connection with Allah the Almighty Who sees everything which occurs on earth and Who always deals with His servants justly. Whenever you have problems, seek guidance and help from Allah Who knows how to answer your Du'as wisely. 

2] Understand why bullies act like they enjoy bullying when in reality, deep down inside, they feel miserable, awful and guilty about behaving irrationally. A lot of them likely misbehave due to their struggles with abusive parents, disappointing academic performance or older siblings who bully them in their homes, or some aspects about you cause them to feel jealous and insecure.

3] A ) Stubbornly ignore toxic people until they get tired of bullying you. Don't pay attention to their idiotic attempts at grabbing your attention which they probably couldn't receive from their parents who didn't do very well in teaching them good manners. 

B ) Confidently talk back and defend yourself if you believe that doing so won't cause more trouble than if you stayed silent and indifferent. Your bullies may start liking you if they notice that you're capable of defending what you value. 

C ) Tell at least two adults whom you can trust about what's bothering you instead of keeping the bullying problem a secret. 

4] Do some research on how others effectively tackled bullying without intending to injure anybody. If you can't make a friend out of a bully, avoid interacting with them as much as possible, and when you must speak, be concise unapologetically. 

5] Steadfastly believe that all humans (and jinns) will be rewarded and requited for their actions if not sooner in this world then later on the Day of Judgment. A sense of relief can be felt when you know that, with Allah's Will, the outcomes of people's actions ultimately return to them at the most ideal timing.

~•~

📖 Abdullah Bin Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hands the Muslims are safe."

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Bukhari 10 Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi

📖 Amr Ibn Absah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what is Islam?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "That you surrender your heart to Allah and that the Muslims are safe from your tongue and hands."

Source: Shu'ab Al-Imān 20 Grade: Sahih 

📖 Abu Nadrah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "O people, your Rabb (Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) is One and your father Adam ('alaihis salaam) is one. There is no favor of an Arab over a foreigner (non-Arab), nor a foreigner over an Arab, and neither white skin over black skin, nor black skin over white skin, except by (Taqwa) righteousness. Have I not delivered the message?"

Source: Musnad Ahmed 22978 

Grade: Sahih 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/tips-on-dealing-with-adult-bullying.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-how-most-intjs-would-respond-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-advice-on-how-not-to-get-offended.html 

https://abukhadeejah.com/allah-has-forbidden-oppression-for-himself-and-has-forbidden-it-for-the-people-hadith-qudsi/ 

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-you-handle-bullying-based-on-your-personality-type/ 

Tips: Some Signs Of Riyaa And How To Avoid It

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Signs that a person is guilty of riyaa (deliberately doing good deeds to show off): 

You can't really judge, since Only Allah the Almighty knows what's actually inside the hearts and thoughts of His servants. 

⚠️ Some signs that you may be guilty of riyaa (which you can repent from), and you know yourself more than other individuals do: 

1] You seldom or never purify your niyyah / intention before doing a deed which can bring you closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. When doing some righteous actions, such as praying or fasting, your real motive is not to please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala but to complete them as religious customs, following in the footsteps of your parents, or to intentionally showcase to some people that you're more pious than them. 

2] When ridiculed, ostracized or criticized for doing a particular good deed, such as pausing an activity to pray on time or sharing Islamic reminders, you put a stop to it. You're eager to do a good deed only if enough number of individuals clearly show support and grant approval. 

3] You feel reluctant to do a good deed, such as praying in the Masjid and attending an Islamic lecture, unless you're fully certain that there's an audience watching. 

4] You can't deny that most of the people who are acquainted with you perceive you as a practicing Muslim yet behind the scenes you enjoy committing several sins such as watching indecent films, listening to music as a hobby, and knowingly carrying out dhulm / oppression / injustice against many of Allah's creation. 

5] You don't bother asking Allah the Most Powerful to protect you from major and minor shirk / polytheism. You generally act as if you're so sure that all of your good deeds done publicly will be accepted and you'd succeed on the Day of Judgment without any questioning. 

🛡️ What you can do, with Allah's Will, to be shielded from riyaa: 

1] Always purify your niyyah / intention before doing obligatory (waajib and fardh), voluntary (Sunnah and mustahabb), and lawful (halal and permissible) deeds, intending to do them just to attain Allah's Love and Mercy, not to impress Allah's slaves or to feel amazed with oneself. 

2] Don't be self-conscious and too concerned about how people see you when doing any good deed sincerely for Allah's sake. Patiently continue striving even if some suspect your intention or critics deride your choices, values and beliefs. 

3] Consistently seek help from Allah the Most Merciful and pray that He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala blesses you with Ikhlaas (sincerity), steadfastness and accepted good deeds. 

4] Strive to increase doing secret good deeds for Allah's sake, righteous actions (including praying Tahajjud / Qiyaam Al-Layl, saying Du'a, and fasting Sunnah fasts often) without notifying any human being that you've done them. 

5] Occasionally review the knowledge that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala gave you regarding warnings against shirk / polytheism and recall why riyaa is dangerous and forbidden. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A man asked the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, “What is faith (Imaan)?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If you are happy with your good deeds and saddened by your bad deeds, then you are a believer." The man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what is sin?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If something waivers in your soul (makes you feel uncertain / doubtful), then you must leave it."

Source: Musnad Ahmed 21695

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam came to us while we were discussing the False Messiah (the dajjaal). 

The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Shall I not tell you about my greater fear for you than the False Messiah?" We said, “Of course!” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "It is hidden idolatry (inconspicuous shirk / minor polytheism / riyaa), that a man stands for prayer and beautifies his prayer when he sees another man looking at him."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4204

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Ma'qil Ibn Yasar RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I departed with Abu Bakr RadhiAllahu 'anhu to meet the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam. The Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O Abu Bakr, there is (polytheism / shirk) idolatry among you more hidden than the crawling of an ant." Abu Bakr RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, “Is there idolatry (shirk) other than to make another god alongside Allah?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "By the One (Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) in Whose Hand is my soul, there is idolatry more hidden than the crawling of an ant. Shall I not tell you something to say to rid you of it both minor and major? Say: 'O Allah, I seek refuge in You that I associate partners with You while I know, and I seek Your Forgiveness for what I do not know.'"

Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 715

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://preciousgemsfromthequranandsunnah.wordpress.com/2018/12/16/dua-for-protection-from-shirk-a-very-important-dua/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/poem-importance-of-doing-good-deeds-for.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/note-importance-of-doing-good-deeds.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-reminder-to-myself-and-others-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-good-deeds-must-be-done-sincerely.html 

https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/12504/%D8%AD%D9%82%D9%8A%D9%82%D8%A9-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B1%D9%8A%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D9%88%D9%83%D9%8A%D9%81%D9%8A%D8%A9-%D8%AA%D8%AC%D9%86%D8%A8%D9%87