Note: Some Signs You And Your Husband Are Close

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Some of the things that your husband does or has done which indicate you're close to each other and he deserves respect:
1] Waking you up for Salah at times when he gets up before you. At least once he woke you up while you had your monthly period. Seeing his partially surprised or guilty look for disturbing your sleep is just adorable.
2] Cooking for you when he isn't busy, buying what you've ordered, or bringing edibles when he comes home from work.
3] Being your Imaam while you try to hold back tears of joy as you pray behind him.
4] Listening to you read from the Noble Qur'an or an Islamic book.
5] Patiently hearing your stories, rants or complaints and giving you some advice or a loving hug to comfort you.
6] Allowing you to keep one of his personal belongings like his jacket, coat etc. for sentimental reasons.
7] Making you fall in love with him every time he displays charisma in being playful with children and fluffy cats.
8] Frequently calling you 'beautiful' and having no problem with seeing you without make-up.
9] Not being disgusted with your feminine issues. Knowing that you're having your monthly period and tolerating your frequent mood swings.
10] Advising you to forgive your parents, siblings and other individuals whenever he notices that you're not in good terms with them temporarily.
11] Cheering you up and making jokes to hear you laugh especially when he catches you not feeling well emotionally.
12] Not caring about your weight gain. Finding you pleasant or cute regardless of how heavy you weigh.
13] Letting you pat, playfully smack or massage him and not getting annoyed by your weird side.
14] Lovingly reminding you to wear the hijaab/niqaab before you go outdoors.
15] Apologizing to you and saying sorry whenever he thinks he has hurt you.
16] Feeding you by his right hand when eating or insisting that you try some snacks he enjoys.
17] Drinking from the same glass or mug you drank from, enjoying your direct and indirect kisses.
Whenever you and your husband go through a misunderstanding, try to imagine if you were in his place and realize that his tendency to make mistakes, forget, delay, cancel or offend you once in a while could result from tiredness, overwork and excessive stress. Remember all the loving things and favors that your husband has shown you. Realizing he is a human being too, with flaws and limited strength, you should strive to help him obey Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, guide him to being a pious Muslim spouse, and don't give up on him so you can
Inn-sha-Allah be granted entry to Jannah Paradise together.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātih 5/2125

Note: 3 Ways To React When Insulted

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 If someone makes an offensive remark about your looks, jokes about your current weight in a way that is intended to insult you, or intentionally says something insulting to get a reaction out of you, you have three ways to respond:
1] Ask them a rhetorical question like "Is that your tactic of emphasizing you're jealous and insecure? Or are you trying to imply that you had a miserable upbringing, which explains why you lack good character?", "Are you describing yourself? What do you gain by saying those awful nonsense?", or "What? Please repeat that. And? Your point is? Are you done demonstrating how your manners are so low?" to assist them in rethinking what they said.
2] Be patient, ignore their lame insults that indirectly reflect their own self-hate, and walk away from their negative vibes. Consider them as merely an acquaintance or stranger whom you are no longer interested in getting close to. Maintain basic courtesy with them, and do not let their impudent misbehavior lower your morals.
3] Agree with them as though their contemptuous slurs didn't impact you at all. Example: If told "You are ( insert adjective here that is meant to offend you )" answer with "Yeah I need to work on that. Thanks for pointing it out." or "She is so etc." when you walk away, turn around and say "Yes you're right. Do you have any tips so I can improve myself? I didn't know that criticizing people and giving advice were your hobbies."
In general as a Muslim you don't need to carry out revenge on those who insulted, mistreated or expressed their envious hatred towards you when you are aware that Allah's Justice always prevails at the most befitting time.  When some gossip and backbite about you, rather than copying their obnoxious conduct so there are two impolite idiots instead of one, earn rewards by striving to practice patience for Allah's sake. Sensing that a user posted a ridiculous status update on their timeline ranting about how weird or ignorant you are isn't an invitation for you to post your own passive-aggressive message. Simply unfollow them on social media and avoid interacting unnecessarily with those who can't add any significant value in your life and faith/Imaan.
Encountering haters, critics and troublemakers doesn't indicate you're not loved by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala but He loves you so much that He wants to strengthen your ability to have Sabr and upgrade your status in Jannah Inn-sha-Allah.
The beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, the best of all human beings, was considered as a "magician", "liar" or "lunatic" by a number of hypocrites and unbelievers yet he SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam didn't address those disbelievers with derogatory names.
Be better than your opponents and rivals by maintaining noble manners for Allah's sake sincerely, and refuse to participate in immature tit-for-tat games.
📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "I guarantee a house on the outskirts of Paradise for one who leaves arguments even if he is right, and a house in the middle of Paradise for one who abandons lies even when joking, and a house in the highest part of Paradise for one who makes his character excellent."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4800
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
📖 Abdullah bin Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 10, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If two people exchange harsh words, it is against the instigator (the person who started the fight) as long as the wronged one does not transgress."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2587
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

Note: Tips On How Not To Be That Extremely Jealous Wife

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Answering a sister in Islam who asked for advice on how to deal with feeling extremely jealous whenever she notices females liking and reacting to her husband's status updates. Posting my response here in case other wives can relate. Alhamdulillah as I've mentioned before, I am not "Facebook friends" with my husband and brothers, though I genuinely love them for Allah's sake, because I don't want them commenting on my posts or responding to others' comments and whatnot. Yes I regularly communicate with my husband on Facebook messenger application, yet when it comes to knowing what he posts on his timeline and paying attention to who tags him etc. I choose to be completely unaware, indifferent and oblivious, not because I don't care about his online presence but to protect myself from unnecessary drama, since I can imagine myself getting into a dramatically furious debate every time a female colleague or acquaintance from his college years would comment or react to a status update of his.
Whenever I check my husband's timeline on browser to send him a direct message, I willfully refuse to scroll down his timeline, even if I notice a part of the topmost status update from one of his Facebook friends, and they happen to be female, tagging him along with several other users. "Ignorance is bliss" can be useful in cases like these, where not having all the facts concerning a circumstance is a way of protecting yourself from needless emotional stress.
Alhamdulillah I also don't scan through his mobile phones even if he makes them easily accessible for me, although I can visualize my husband at times communicating with some females due to a necessity, seeing how he works as a medical doctor.
From my perception, one of the signs you truly love your spouse for Allah's sake is to decisively trust them and display that you recognize the potential in your other half in being trustworthy, just as you'd like it if your soulmate doesn't mistrust and suspect you. Generally it is improbable for a decent person to show willingness in being close to someone who finds it difficult to trust them. If you can't trust me, then why should I trust you? If you constantly assume I shouldn't be trusted, why would I bother investing love and energy on somebody who rejects my loyalty and reliability?
🔸 Tips on how not to be that obsessively protective wife who jealously hates it when other women interact with her husband:
1] Always trust Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala Who sees everyone and everything. Understand that even if you hired some individuals to spy on your husband, to ensure he isn't cheating on you or flirting around with others, you still won't have all the intricate details of what your husband is doing when you and your recruited forces aren't watching. Let Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala deal with His servants.
2] While being triggered with feelings of jealousy is a natural tendency for many females, acting irrational upon envy indicates massive insecurity and lack of self-esteem.
Wives who are confident in themselves, while trusting Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala at all times, do not behave with an annoyingly clingy and possessive attitude.
Children who don't want their favorite toy destroyed or lost is a cute and understandable thing, while seeing a kid have tantrums each time another child tries to converse with the plaything seems like they were brought up to be awfully paranoid, selfish or unsympathetic. Be your husband's faithful wife who trusts him, not one to overreact feeling threatened by other female species.
3] Respectfully remind your husband to lower his gaze as a pious Muslim is expected to, and let him know that wherever he goes, he's always being watched by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala while there are special Angels assigned to record every statement he purposely says and every action he chooses to do.
4] Include your husband in your loving Du'as often, praying that Allah the Most Merciful keeps his faith/Imaan strong and protects him from anything that can lead to fitna.
5] On Judgment Day Inn-sha-Allah all of the deeds of Allah's servants can be revealed if Allah Wills. So if your husband ever did anything that he shouldn't have done in this world, eventually you'll discover it on the Day of Resurrection. You don't need to act like a female investigator who scrutinizes her subject's every move.
Your husband should be your sweetheart who can accompany you in your journey towards Jannah Paradise, not a subject matter to investigate 24/7.
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever Allah provides with a righteous wife, Allah has assisted him in half of his religion. Let him fear Allah regarding the other half."
Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Awsat 992
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Suyuti
📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."
Source: Sahih Muslim 1467
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Hadith: On Avoiding Materialism

📖 Ibn 'Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Be in this world as if you were a stranger or a traveler along a path."
Ibn 'Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhuma would say, "If you make it to the evening, do not wait for the morning. If you make it to the morning, do not wait for the evening. Take from your health for your sickness, and from your life for your death."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6053
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
📖 Anas ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever is concerned about the Hereafter, Allah will place richness in his heart, bring his affairs together, and the world will come to him although he is reluctant for it. Whoever is concerned about the world, Allah will place poverty between his eyes, disorder his affairs, and he will get nothing of the world but what is decreed for him."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2465
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Zayd ibn Thabit RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever makes the world his most important matter, Allah will confound his affairs and make poverty appear before his eyes and he will not get anything from the world but what has been decreed for him. Whoever makes the Hereafter his most important matter, Allah will settle his affairs and make him content in his heart and the world will come to him although he does not want it."
Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4105
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Note: Tips On How To Get Over A Crush

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 To have desires is part of being human. To suppress or defeat evil desires shows you're a striving Muslim. While being hesitant to fall in love is a blessing in disguise for many, several individuals tend to catch feelings easily. Once someone has captivated them or emotionally entered their hearts, it can be difficult to stop thinking about that crush even if they're already married, after several years went by, or they moved to another city.
🔸 Signs you are attracted to someone, despite internally or outwardly denying it:
1] You like them a lot not in a platonic way but sensually. So if you were granted permission to be passionate with them, you'd do so.
2] They preoccupy your mind, imagination and fantasies so much so that merely thinking of them distracts you from properly carrying out daily tasks.
3] You marvel at how a quality or characteristic of theirs amazes you, how they somehow make you feel special, or you're intrigued by how you both are very similar in many ways.
4] You're nervous when they're around, overly concerned that they don't get turned off by you, or you find their presence somewhat overwhelming. Understand they're also humans with myriad imperfections, hence you must quit overestimating and obsessing over them.
5] You sometimes pray to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala that He removes your feelings of attraction.
🔸 Tips on how to get over those who aren't halal/lawful for you:
1] Try the "out of sight, out of mind" tactic, so they can be forgotten. Avoid or minimize going to the places where you know they frequently go to. Unfriend or unfollow them on social media if doing so brings you closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, even if this choice may upset them.
Both of you can Inn-sha-Allah be rewarded for striving to implement patience.
2] Lower your gaze when they're around and when quickly noticing photos of themselves online. Don't keep staring at their faces, bodies and pictures no matter how much you want to.
3] Recall their negative qualities that may turn you off so you no longer find them attractive, or recount all the reasons why it's impossible for you to be romantically together.
4] People who wish to lose weight avoid excessive food even if they normally enjoy overeating whenever they like, yet they have the stamina to stay away from eating excessively in order to achieve their goal to become physically fit. If they can do that, just as you're able to resist eating and drinking while fasting, you too have the ability to detach from the urge to commit zina - a major sin.
5] Constantly remind yourself of the consequences of acting upon sinful thoughts and inappropriate feelings. Imagine actually having done what you desire to do with the person you're crushing on behind closed doors and then instantly regretting your wrong decision in this world or the next.
6] Acknowledge the fact that daydreaming or fantasizing about being in an affair with your crush is irrational. If it's something that can never happen in real life, must never take place, or it is one of shaytan's tricks which eventually directs you to massive remorse, don't bother entertaining those nonsensical illusions.
7] Get married sincerely for Allah's sake to preserve your modesty and focus on loving the soul whom Allah the Most Wise selects as your spouse.
8] If you still can't forget those whom your heart regards as "irresistible" or "unavoidable", admit you really adore them while knowing what your boundaries and restrictions are. The similitude of avoiding what you desire is that of a diabetic who intentionally refrains from excess sugar and carbohydrates which they'd freely enjoy if they weren't struggling with diabetes. Although they relish sugary foods and carbs, they distance themselves from what can cause their health condition to decline. 

Respect yourself enough to leave what Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala has prohibited.
9] Do what you can to be prepared for death and look forward to being granted entry Inn-sha-Allah to Jannah Paradise, where all wishes and desires can be fulfilled.
10] Make sincere effort to fast Sunnah fasts regularly like on Yawm 'Arafah and every other Monday and Thursday. Fasting is another way to effectively discipline your soul, training your nafs to gain inner strength in avoiding what should be avoided.
11] Realize that if you genuinely love that particular soul whom you admire, wouldn't you want what is best for them? Getting into zina will only result in you two being exposed to humiliation in both worlds, so why jeopardize your faith/Imaan and dignity by pursuing what is clearly haraam/forbidden.
Staying patient for Allah's sake as you ignore those whom your heart desires or struggling with feeling heartbroken in dunya is better than fulfilling animalistic urges then eternally regretting.
📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O young men, if you are able to support a wife, get married. Verily, it lowers the gaze and guards chastity. Whoever is not able to do so, he must fast as it will restrain his passions."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1806,
Sahih Muslim 1400
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Sahl Ibn Sa’d RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever guarantees for me what is between his jaws and his legs, I can guarantee for him Paradise."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6109
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah has pardoned my nation for what occurs within themselves (evil thoughts or feelings), as long as they do not speak of it or act upon it."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6287
Sahih Muslim 127
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “Know that passing thoughts are not harmful. Indeed, they are only harmful if they are sought after and engaged. For a thought is like a passerby on the road; if you ignore him, he will depart from you.”
Source: Al-Jawāb Al-Kāfī 1/157

Note: Don't Compare Your Journey To Others' Stories

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 It is possible to not get jealous of others' lives when you know that whatever they have, own, and accomplished are all granted by Allah the Most Wise. Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala is the One Who gave His servants different abilities, sources of joy, and achievements as a test to observe what they would do with the blessings that they've been given. Will they be grateful slaves of Allah the Most Kind and share their joys with others to express their gratitude to Him Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, or will those things which bring temporary satisfaction cause them to be ungrateful, selfish and arrogant, preoccupied with trying to build their own "perfect place" in dunya instead of striving for eternal bliss in Jannah?
If you discover someone who triggers feelings of inferiority complex, or daily browsing through social media makes you feel as though your life isn't cool or enjoyable enough, remind yourself that everything which a person enjoys in this fleeting world were bestowed upon them by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. Nothing ever occurs on earth except with Allah's Permission.
That stranger's high IQ, ability to communicate in multiple languages fluently, and connections with supposedly educated professionals whose intelligence levels are above average exist because Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala decreed it to be that way. Your friend who married at an earlier age, while another achieves financial success in a business they recently started, got what they wanted only because Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala chose such destiny for them.
Stubbornly comparing your journey to somebody else's story is one of the fastest ways to be unhappy. Aiming to be better than who you were before, focusing on what you're already good at, developing your own capabilities, thanking Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for the favors that He chose to grant you and staying patient with His Qadr/Destiny are what you need to pass this examination.
If ever you have the urge to compare to someone, remember the less fortunate when it comes to dunya-related matters to stay gratefully contented with what Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala selected for you. Before assuming you're not as clever or intellectually gifted as others, think of those who struggle with physical or mental disabilities. Recall the homeless and refugees worldwide whenever your nafs wants you to complain about simplicity.
The person to compete against should be yourself. Defeat vile desires as much as you can and always train yourself to be more confident, content and wiser than yesterday. Your faith/Imaan and good deeds done for Allah's sake, not material possessions nor worldly gains, are what can benefit you in your grave and scales on the Day of Resurrection.
📖 Ibn 'Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: I was riding behind the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam when he said to me, "Young man, I will teach you some words. Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him before you. If you ask, ask from Allah. If you seek help, seek help from Allah. Know that if the nations gathered together to benefit you, they will not benefit you unless Allah has decreed it for you. And if the nations gathered together to harm you, they will not harm you unless Allah has decreed it for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried." Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2516 Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Look at those below you and do not look at those above you, for it is the best way not to belittle the favors of Allah."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6125,
Sahih Muslim 2963
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Abu Nadrah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "O people, your Rabb (God Allah) is One, and your father Adam is one. There is no favor of an Arab over a foreigner, nor a foreigner over an Arab, and neither white skin over black skin, nor black skin over white skin, except by piety (Taqwa). Have I not delivered the message?"
Source: Musnad Ahmed 22978
Grade: Sahih

Note: Some Notes Concerning Polygyny

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💭 Some notes on polygyny:
1. The beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam stayed with Khadijah RadhiAllahu anha for so many years and didn't take another wife until she passed away. This shows that being in a monogamous marriage isn't reprehensible as the noble Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam himself remained with only one wife in the beginning. It's possible for a man to find contentment with just one wife.
2. While it is permissible for men in Islam to have up to four wives, they are obliged to treat them as fairly as they can, with regards to family time management, satisfying the emotional needs of each wife and granting financial support.
3. A Muslim can Inn-sha-Allah earn rewards in taking care of a large family, trying to ensure he fulfils all his duties and responsibilities, especially if one of his wives is a former divorcée or widow with orphaned kids. By marrying her he gets the chance to be a supportive stepfather to those orphaned children.
4. A carriage being pulled by two fast horses may move faster than a cart being pulled by one horse. A carriage pulled by strong three or four horses moves even faster than the one dragged by two horses. A well-trained stallion or speedy horse can gallop a lot faster than a carriage pulled by four horses, especially if some of the horses from that carriage are stressed or inefficient. This similitude is like that of a man's marriage life. A beautiful and caring wife who has several kids with him can keep him satisfied that he feels no need to add another family member. On the other hand, a Muslim who is responsible and capable may have multiple wives to increase the population size of the Muslim Ummah or wed a woman so she is well taken care of instead of neglected trying to survive without a husband.
5. If your husband wants to take a second, third or fourth wife, that's his right. Avoid threatening him with divorce and keeping his kids away from him. Don't let shaytan manipulate you into unjustly thinking that your husband shouldn't marry another wife simply due to submitting to selfishness, jealousy, suspicion, ingratitude and impatience. When you realize how this fleeting world is temporary along with its trials and struggles, you'd be ready to sacrifice your ego or surplus pride for Allah's sake as you prefer the eternal bliss in Jannah Paradise.
6. Through polygyny there can be more diversity in the Muslim Ummah and peaceful relations especially when a husband has wives from different countries or tribes being unified with marriage.
7. A woman in polygyny can take recurrent rests from her chores as a housewife when her husband is with the other wife/wives. If fortunate to be friends with her co-wives, they can look after her kids when she needs some time for herself or when she's unwell.
8. Even if a husband may be unable to treat all his wives with the perfect amount of fairness and equal treatment, his wives must try their best to stay patient for Allah's sake.
Jannah will Inn-sha-Allah be their destined abode if they accept Allah's Decree patiently.
9. Polygyny isn't easily accepted by everybody just as not everyone can see the value of niqab/veiling the face and praying Sunnah Qiyam Al-Layl Tahajjud at night. As your authentic knowledge of Islam increases together with sincere application of what you've learned, your willingness to obey Allah and accept His Plans with patience also multiply, without overlooking your obvious rights as a loyal Muslim wife.

Note: If You Have Good Intentions You Don't Marry "The Wrong Person".

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Unless a woman purposely agreed to marry a guy who got released from jail or he's known for having committed innumerable crimes in the past, I don't believe that you, as a Muslim with good intention, end up marrying "the wrong person".
When Allah the Most Wise destines to give you a husband, it's your duty together with your soulmate to design the kind of love life that you want. If an art teacher gives you an empty sheet of paper to sketch on, it is irrational to blame them for giving you the wrong kind of paper if you're the one who lacks creative imagination, artistic abilities or at least patient willingness to learn some drawing skills.
Just as there are different kinds of artwork and forms of expressing oneself creatively, there are a wide variety of romantic journeys and love stories which aren't applicable for everybody equally. A lover may be completely fine loving her spouse from a distance, so a long-distance marriage doesn't worry her in the least. Another wife's temperament necessitates that she secludes herself once in a while, so she has no problem with seeing her husband just once a week or bimonthly. While these married couples enjoy love-making a lot and they're blessed with several pious children, other husbands and wives are contented with Allah's Qadr/Destiny in not having kids. Some wives are open to polygyny while others prefer to reserve their husbands for themselves only.
Getting married is one of the many tests from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala which requires lots of rewarding patience/Sabr, gratitude/Shukr and sincere efforts to keep progressing in order for you to pass this temporary examination. Not all exams are entirely similar. So passing a test makes it necessary that you utilize the means that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala granted you, among which are wisdom, the capacity to analyze the advantages and disadvantages of each circumstance, and the freewill to seek Allah's Guidance to do what you believe is the most fruitful decision that can
 Inn-sha-Allah generate a positive outcome, which is more likely to occur if you prayed Salat Al-Istikhaarah prior to selecting an option.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātih 5/2125
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If someone proposes marriage to you whose religion and character satisfies you, then you should accept it. If you do not do so, there will be trials (fitna) on the earth and the spread of corruption."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1084
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Note: Fear Allah More Than Fearing The "Evil Eye"

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Our fear of Allah the Almighty and our trust in Him Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala must be much greater than fearing the effects of someone's evil eye. What can protect you as a Muslim from sorcery, witchcraft and the evil eye is your strong connection with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala by striving to obey Him, avoiding what He prohibited as much as possible, and by saying lots of Dhikr, especially the morning and evening Adhkaar.
How can you earn customers if you hesitate to advertise your products and refuse to display your items because you're afraid your business may be impacted by the evil eye?
How can you encourage others to study about Islam if you keep withholding the wealth of knowledge that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala bestowed upon you, fearing your intellect may be affected by the evil eye?
How can you gain students in your Islamic institution or regular halaqa if you don't announce to anyone in the world about its availability because you're worried you may catch the evil eye?
Concealing the blessings that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala gave you, in order to preserve them, is reasonable in other ways.
🔹 Just as you wouldn't publicly declare the details which lead to your bank account, it makes sense to not upload photos of the following:
1] Your wedding pictures, photos of you with your husband, others' photo collections.
2] Pictures of your children and other kids.
3] Photos of yourself with or without the niqab/hijaab. Any picture basically which clearly portrays a person is often one of the necessities that witches or magicians require so black magic can be effective.
4] What you had for lunch, whether you ate at a fancy buffet restaurant or enjoyed a homemade dish you creatively prepared.
5] Travel photos that are uploaded to indicate how rich you are, or to deliberately trigger jealous feelings in specific users, instead of uploading them with the intention to make others feel as if they traveled with you.
🔸 Revealing certain personal information at times may be beneficial or understandable if:
1] Your true story of how you had a second or third wedding with your husband can inspire women to remain as loyal, grateful, forgiving, patient and tough wives.
2] The experiences you share from childhood or your teenage years can somehow motivate Muslims to become better versions of themselves.
3] The photos you post concerning charity prove that the donations were received or you intend to inspire other Muslims to be likewise generous if they have the financial means.
4] The photos of food are uploaded for Allah's sake to support another Muslim's halal business.
5] Posting photos of the items you bought from a store is your way of encouraging others to purchase those helpful stuff you generously recommend.
If a person feels that their fear of the evil eye is too difficult to let go, and they still cannot trust in Allah's Power to shield them, they might as well migrate to a remote location, like a cave in an unidentified island, to avoid people's stares, misjudgment and intentions.
📖 Ibn Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu' alaihi wa sallam said, "The evil eye is true. If anything could outrun the decree (Qadr/Destiny), it would be outran by the evil eye. When you perform a ritual bath, wash well."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2188
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Mu’adh Ibn Jabal RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Seek help in the fulfillment of your needs by being discrete (secretive, low-key, private), for everyone who is given a blessing will be envied."
Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabīr 16644
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Take up your shields." They said, “O Messenger of Allah, is the enemy present?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No, rather your shields from the Hellfire are to declare the Glory of Allah, the Praise of Allah, there is no God but Allah, and Allah is The Greatest. (Say 'SubhanAllah', 'Alhamdulillah', 'Laa ilaaha ilAllah', 'Allahu Akbar') Verily, they (Adhkaar) will come on the Day of Resurrection as saviors and guardian angels, and they are the ‘righteous deeds everlasting.’" (The Noble Qur'an 18:46)
Source: Al-Sunan Al-Kubrá lil-Nasā’ī 10204
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Note: Obvious Signs You're Still In Love With Your Husband

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 It baffles me to imagine how a woman can have the guts to say about her ex-husband "I don't love him anymore", "he means nothing to me now", or "I'm no longer attracted to him. I want somebody else." Whether a divorcee left her spouse because she was unsatisfied with the kind of lifestyle he could afford to provide her or she ditched him for a different guy who seems more "husband material", divorce, although halal/permissible, in my opinion shows that a woman never truly loved her husband since the beginning. If the love between the married couple was genuine from the start, she wouldn't have demanded that the divorce documents be signed so easily without carefully reflecting on the possible negative consequences of divorcing.
Not everyone has the exact same definition and perception of what an ideal marriage life is. My understanding of "true love" in matrimony is to patiently continue loving the soul whom Allah the Most Wise selected for you as your other half and soulmate until his soul is returned to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala.
Marriage should not end because you and your husband no longer enjoy physical intimacy, love-making became boring, or you're temporarily struggling with financial problems, or you can't get along with your in-laws, or you admit you're secretly 'in love' with another far more intriguing person.
The bond that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala destined you to have with your husband must go on for Allah's sake even until your reunion in Jannah, acknowledging the truth that perfect bliss can only be attained in Paradise, not temporary dunya.
🔸 Signs that you wholeheartedly still love and care for your husband:
1] You mention your husband's name frequently in your loving Du'as.
2] Nearly whatever task, project or activity you are preoccupied with, you notice yourself wishing your husband was there beside you. Missing someone's presence is a huge indicator that your love for them isn't a joke.
3] Visualize getting ready to make your divorce official, in case you've considered asking for a separation. After signing the divorce papers, can you envision yourself regretting your decision, wishing you shouldn't have left him, specially if you later discover that he married again? Perhaps with a woman whose name is similar to yours? Even worse, one whose facial features and figure almost resemble your own? If you can sense that leaving him is a terrible idea, sincerely make effort to do whatever you can to solve the marital problem and mutually rekindle the romance between you two.
4] Despite feeling as though you have an uncontrollable attraction for certain individuals, you still have stronger feelings for your husband, so cheating on him is something you can never consider.
5] If you saw him in trouble, you'd try your best to help and save him. For instance, if you caught him stuck in a car laying upside down from an accident, you'd actually attempt to drag his body away from the vehicle regardless of knowing for sure carrying him can be challenging but necessary and worthwhile.
Marriage is a serious affair which shouldn't be taken lightly as though it is something that can be discarded anytime you like.
It's a journey Inn-sha-Allah that leads to Paradise. Just like any road or pathway in life, the husband and wife shouldn't be surprised to encounter numerous obstacles, bumps of various sizes, ups and downs, or moments where momentary breaks are required once in a while.
Keep in mind that you married a human being who gets stressed out at times, with flaws and limited abilities like you - not a robot or fictional genie that grants whatever wish you desire.
📖 Ibn 'Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "I was shown the Hellfire and (found) that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."
Sahih Al-Bukhari 29
In-book reference: Book 2, Hadith 22
USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 1, Book 2, Hadith 29

Note: More Tips On How To Deal With Haters

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 After analyzing the reasons why I've clashed with several individuals in the past, Alhamdulillah I realized that those with whom I don't get along can be grouped into a number of categories:
1] Facebook users who have a completely different manhaj or understanding of what Islam is. A lot of them shared content from the likes of Anwar Al-Awlaki and Ahmad Musa Jibril many of whose lectures or writings incorrectly advocated violence, rebellion and an extremist mindset in Islam. It makes sense that if you follow the correct 'Aqeedah according to the teachings in the Noble Qur'an and Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, you may not harmoniously vibe with those who promote ignorance, wrong ideologies and who insist on committing bid'ah.
2] Those who can't fully trust me because their standards unfairly justify I'm not "Salafi enough" until I totally abandon those who haven't openly labeled themselves as a "Salafi", unaware of the virtues of doing Da'wah and maintaining good character with every soul whom Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala decrees us to meet.
3] Those who hesitate to get acquainted on a more personal level fearing I may be "judgemental" or harshly critical towards them, not knowing that I understand it's our duty as Muslims to invite others to Allah's Way without forcing our beliefs onto anyone.
4] Females who misunderstand my intense dislike towards gossip and backbiting. I'm willing to strengthen the sisterly bond with them on condition they avoid discussing the flaws and private matters of other people.
5] Women who haven't found the strength yet to patiently accept the beautiful concept of polygyny or who notice some aspects in me that unintentionally triggered feelings of jealousy.
6] Those who roll their eyes when I post "too much" on social media, ironically tolerant of other users uploading frequent selfies and actually cringy viral videos, while suspecting me of committing riyaa or shirk. AstaghfurAllah Al-'Atheem.
7] Those who still judge me by my jaahiliyyah past. Once I sense a person is uncomfortable in my presence, I do them a kind favor by distancing myself from them further to protect us from each other.
🔸 Tips to deal with the various people in your life who can't stand you:
1] Acknowledge the fact that we are not directly responsible for how people feel about us. Continue serving Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, trying your utmost to please Only Him regardless of His creation's ways of dealing with you.
2] Adjust yourself and positively change for the sake of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala Only, not to satisfy His servants and meet their unreasonable expectations.
3] The sun continues to shine brightly, with Allah's Permission, even if some people complain about the sun's heat and hot weather. Similarly keep being the positive, friendly and cheerful Muslim that you are. Don't allow negative, rude and grumpy individuals, who are either jealous or struggling with serious insecurity issues, to lower the rating of your noteworthy manners.
4] Since not all humans can relate to your journey, interests and values, don't expect everybody to appreciate you. If you're moving forward in life or climbing up a mountain, inevitably you may make enemies along the way who want you to remain where they are, because they're that unmotivated, oblivious to what is upright, or simply insecure.
5] A strong connection with Allah the Most Merciful is what can guarantee success in both worlds Inn-sha-Allah. On the Day of Judgment, we anticipate being questioned about the good deeds we sincerely did for Allah's sake, not how many fans we've gained and friends we made.
6] Focus on the few people who love you for who you are and who recognize your value, especially if your unique squad is inclusive of your loving parents, destined spouse and like-minded souls who have similar characteristics or goals as you.
7] Criticism, insults and false accusations or misjudgment from whoever doesn't really know you are like pesky flies that you can brush away or walk away from. Consider them as ideal tools to enhance your levels of patience. Let them effectively train your ability to stay away from the wrongdoings that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala has forbidden.
Forgive your haters for Allah's sake, and be tough enough to resist being influenced by fluctuating emotions.
Remember that the only approval worth seeking is that of the love of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and His noble Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives another but that Allah increases his honor, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah but that Allah raises his status."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2588
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A bedouin asked the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, “When is the Hour (The Day of Judgment)?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “What have you prepared for it?” The man said, “Love for Allah and his Messenger (SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam).” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “You will be with those whom you love.”
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3435, Sahih Muslim 2639
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Note: Signs Of Toxic People To Avoid For Allah's Sake

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Some of the signs of a toxic person whom we should keep at a distance and treat them as a casual acquaintance:
1] They have a tendency to cowardly gossip about others and count people's flaws.
2] They think it's okay to make fun of people even at the expense of hurting their feelings.
3] Although they secretly envy you, their jealousy can be felt miles away because of how they treat you with obvious or subtle disrespect, rudeness and deliberate indifference.
4] They are too clingy, have unreasonably high expectations of you, and instantly get offended when you don't show enough affection towards them, unwilling to give you the space that you require at times.
5] They expect you to listen to their problems and grant them a shoulder to cry on, yet when you're the one who needs assistance, support or advice they're unavailable.
6] Interacting with them feels awkwardly forced so you can't be your true self around them, afraid they may judge you harshly, backbite about you to their other friends, or you sense there's some strange agenda behind their facade, specially since they seem to know a lot about you while you're hardly familiar with who they really are.
7] They directly or indirectly prevent you from wanting to become a better Muslim e.g. by declining your invitations to attend an Islamic lecture, by insisting on committing bid'ah, or by encouraging you to neglect your parents or abandon your spouse.
~*~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu ‘anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi

Note: When To Let Go Of Certain Friendships

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Simply knowing a lot about someone, like a fan tries to gather as much info as they can about their favorite celebrity, doesn't make you that person's close friend. Being aware of their existence for a long time, as a neighbor who knows about the other neighbors yet doesn't bother interacting with them,  also doesn't render one worthy of being called an actual 'friend'.
A friend is somebody who doesn't necessarily share the exact same interests as you but who genuinely cares about you just as you are honestly concerned about their well-being. They're that person whom you usually contact when something awful or amazing happens because you trust them, welcome their advice and feel safe around them, knowing they've already known you for many years and won't judge you for how Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala created you. Their presence brings you peace just as you can sense they're truthfully happy to communicate with you.
As time goes by, some friendships are bound to break or deteriorate, either due to neglect from one or both sides, one had to relocate, or both went separate ways in their lives and found another friend who eventually replaced them. Dealing with potential friends who turn into complete strangers again is one of the tests that Allah the Most Wise sends to examine our faith/Imaan and patience. When someone whom we used to chat with and confide in regularly becomes another stranger whom we apathetically pass by in the streets, do we continue moving on as we let them go, or do we try our best to recover the special bond we had because without them we're incomplete?
As Muslims Alhamdulillah we shouldn't get too attached to Allah's servants, since human beings, like dunya and its trials, are imperfect and temporary.
🔸 When is it okay to quit trying to be somebody's intimate friend instead of being mere acquaintances:
1] When there seems to be no smooth connection between you two and the conversations are mostly forced or awkward.
2] When you're almost always the first to reach out to them, check how they're doing, and show support, while they rarely return your favors. The feelings and respect are not mutual.
3] For a number of years you have awareness that they exist but still find no legitimate reason to put effort in cultivating your familiarity with them. Basically you consider them as incompatible, unrelatable, or not interesting enough to grab your attention.
4] Somehow they distract you from your journey to becoming a better Muslim. They're a bad influence who want you to be preoccupied with dunya matters, who dislike attending Islamic lectures, or who habitually gossip and backbite about others.
5] If they associate with you mainly to take advantage of your kindness, generosity and link to other supposedly prominent or successful individuals for their selfish interests. Rather than loving you for Allah's sake, they only stay in touch for the numerous advantages that you bring to their table.
Patiently disconnect from toxic and negative people who don't reciprocate your loyalty. The empty spots they leave behind can Inn-sha-Allah be reclaimed by other friends who are more similar to you, more helpful for your soul, and more trustworthy.
Release yourself from ineffectively wanting to get to know them better yet maintain basic courtesy, and don't let your indifference towards them negatively impact your good character.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Love whom you love moderately, perhaps he will become hateful to you someday. Hate whom you hate moderately, perhaps he will become your beloved friend someday." Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1997 Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "A man set out to visit his brother from another town, so Allah sent an angel to watch over his steps. When the angel came to him, he said: 'Where are you going?' The man said: 'I am visiting a brother of mine in this town.' The angel said: 'Do you have a favor over him to be repaid?' He said: 'No, only that I love him for the sake of Allah the Almighty.' The angel said: 'I am a messenger from Allah to tell you that Allah loves you as you love him.'" Source: Sahih Muslim 2567, Grade: Sahih
📖 Aslam Al-Habashi reported: Umar ibn Al-Khattab RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, "Let not your love be infatuation and let not your hatred be destruction." It was said, “How is this?” Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, “When you love someone, you become infatuated like a child. When you hate someone, you love destruction for your companion.” Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1322 Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Note: To Brave Souls Who Combat Vile Desires

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 To brave warriors who fight evil desires night and day,
To those who are in love but keep their passions restrained,
And who bid farewell to zina to preserve their faith:
Keep striving for Allah. Your efforts won't go to waste.
~•~
Allah knows that you try your best to ignore vile thoughts,
Fantasies of those people on whom you have a crush,
Replacing sinful visions with Adhkaar and Du'as,
And distancing yourself from the souls that your heart loves.
~•~
Allah sees you fighting the urge to reach out to them,
Suppressing the feelings of unwanted attraction,
Leaving what gratifies most, knowing it's forbidden,
And preferring Jannah where joy is everlasting.
~•~
Allah understands your ability to do it,
To walk towards haraam love which He prohibited,
Yet you sacrifice what you want, choose to stay modest,
And patiently wait for Jannah's never-ending bliss.
~•~
No matter hard it is to avoid what you like,
Greater love for Allah is what makes heartbreaks worthwhile.
Self-guard with Taqwa and Imaan. Continue to strive.
This world isn't our home, but in Jannah Paradise.
~•~
🔸 Reminder to recite Surah Al-Kahf every Friday Jumuah and include the Muslim Ummah in your Du'as.
📖 Abu Qatadah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah the Almighty but that Allah will replace it with something better."
Source: Musnad Ahmed 22565
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Sahl ibn Sa’d RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever guarantees for me what is between his jaws and his legs, I can guarantee for him Paradise."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6109
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Marriage is part of my Sunnah. Whoever does not act upon my Sunnah is not part of me. Give each other in marriage, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him contract a marriage. Whoever does not have the means should fast, as fasting will restrain his desires."
Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 1846
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Poem: Be Patient Enough To Keep Secrets.

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Despite the fact some think I'm too chatty or open,
Most of my thoughts, feelings and dreams remain unspoken.
Extremely few can be regarded as a close friend,
And even with them I don't disclose all sentiments.
~•~
I could be very talkative if I wanted to,
Sharing what I've seen in a dream so it's understood,
Expressing every worry, idea, point of view,
And whatever info I've gathered from random news.
~•~
But then again by speaking recklessly I just lose,
Exposing myself to those who lack moral virtues,
Who may twist my words, gossip, or have them misconstrued,
Or take offense so they turn to strangers I once knew.
~•~
So instead of texting this person and that daily,
Revealing to them intimate reflections freely,
I suppress the urge to open up, and silently
Transfer my worries to say Du'a contentedly.
~•~
Only Allah knows about the emotions I feel,
My concerns, my fears, and secrets I cannot reveal.
Allah, I believe, is the One Who listens and heals.
Trust none but Allah, even if people's lips are sealed.
~•~
📖 Mu’adh ibn Jabal RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, you will continue to be safe as long as you remain silent. If you speak, it will be recorded for you or against you."
Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabīr 16591
Grade: Hasan li ghayrihi (Fair due to external evidence) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abdullah ibn Mas’ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Most of the sins of the children of Adam (humans) are on their tongues."
Ibn Mas’ud said, “O tongue! Speak goodness and be rewarded, or remain silent and be safe, lest you become regretful.”
Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabīr 10300
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Aswad ibn Asram RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, advise me.” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Can you control your tongue?” I said, “But what do I control if I cannot control my tongue?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Can you control your hands?” I said, “But what do I control if I cannot control my hands?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Do not say anything on your tongue except what is right, and do not stretch out your hand except to do good."
Source: Shu’ab Al-Imān 2867
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Poem: On Loving Righteous Muslims For Allah's Sake

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Around the world are souls whom I love for Allah's sake,
I gravitate to them as plants lean to the sun's rays.
Their love for Allah and strong faith are what captivate,
So I'm inspired to pray for them nearly night and day.
~•~
Though to some I haven't told they're loved for Allah's sake,
Guessing they're too busy, or they reside far away,
Or they'll find me strange, or the feelings are not the same,
My love is shown in Du'as when I pronounce their names.
~•~
Other ways in which love for Allah's sake is portrayed
Include defending them when some gossip and defame,
Checking on them once in a while, hoping they're okay,
Concealing their secrets, and correcting their mistakes.
~•~
I love them lots for Allah for how they motivate
Me to learn Islam, be more cautious of what I say,
To stay patient, fast Sunnah fasts every other day,
And to avoid bid'ah so I do not go astray.
~•~
Although my affection may not be clearly displayed,
Only Allah knows that I do love them for His sake.
This love lacks extreme attachment but gives needed space,
Freedom to strive together towards Allah's Straight Way.
~•~
📖 Al-Miqdam ibn Ma’di RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "When one of you loves his brother, let him know."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 2392
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Suyuti
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "You will not enter Paradise until you have faith and you will not have faith until you love each other. Shall I show you something that, if you did, you would love each other? Spread peace between yourselves."
Source: Sahih Muslim 54
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Mu’adh ibn Jabal RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Allah the Almighty said: 'Those who love each other for the sake of My Glory will be upon pulpits of light, admired by the prophets and the martyrs.'"
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 2390
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Notes: Tips On How To Deal With Insults And Criticism

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Note: Insults are hateful remarks meant to upset you.
Some of them are just lies, while others may contain truth.
The following are tips to deal with verbal abuse,
From one who can't vibe with those who are unkind and rude:
~•~
When told you're "useless", "unproductive", "good for nothing",
Let them know you serve Only Allah, not His servants.
To obey Allah, you don't need people's agreement.
Keep serving Allah in spite of His slaves' derision.
~•~
When numbers claim you're "ugly", "plain", or "not good-looking",
Let inner beauty glow with patience and contentment,
Thank Allah Who preordained your unique appearance,
And know your critics too are flawed with imperfections.
~•~
When notified you reek or emit perspiration,
Affirm their judgment and know they're not always fragrant,
Liquids their bodies release don't have flowery scent.
Their self-hate is proven when they bash other humans.
~•~
When informed you're "poor", "so weird", "boring" or "ignorant",
Respond to eye-rolls and censure with indifference.
Clearly they don't know you. Facts differ from assumptions.
Aim to please Allah. Don't entertain false opinions.
~•~
Regard each insult as a tool for self-improvement,
Or take it as a remedy to strengthen patience.
So what if some foes hate you? Welcome their rejection,
Source of inspiration to have your Imaan strengthened.
~•~
Know that shunning those who toy around with our feelings
Is wise training to trust Allah and seek His Guidance,
While enhancing our aptitude to abandon sins.
The One Who can judge us is Allah the All-Knowing.
~•~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak goodness or remain silent. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his neighbor. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his guest."
In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Let him not harm his neighbor."
And in another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Let him uphold family ties."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5672, Sahih Muslim 47
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Do not cause harm or return harm. Whoever harms others, Allah will harm him. Whoever is harsh with others, Allah will be harsh with him."
Source: Al-Sunan Al-Kubrá 11070
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani
📖 Harithah ibn Wahb RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Shall I not tell you about the inhabitants of Paradise? Every meek, humble person, but if they swore an oath by Allah, he would fulfill it. Shall I not tell you about the inhabitants of Hellfire? Every cruel, rude, and arrogant person."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 4634, Sahih Muslim 2853
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Poem: It Takes Lots Of Strength To Be A Loyal Wife.

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Where there is love for Allah's sake, there will be some fights -
Frequent battles against my nafs and furious desires,
Fighting back the tears that focus on what is not right,
Striving to fulfill my goal to be a faithful wife.
~•~
Where there's darkness, I remind myself, there will be light,
Like glowing stars smiling brightly in dark skies at night.
If my spouse ever makes me cry, myself I'd advise
To stay strong for Allah, stay as my man's loyal wife.
~•~
Where sadness lingers, somehow joy follows with delight,
With lots of patience each time I wait and sacrifice.
Comforting my soul with trust in Allah and His Might,
I tell myself, "Sabran ya nafsee, be that strong wife."
~•~
Where there's confusion, explanation can come to light,
Through supplications to Allah every day and night.
As trials arise and life becomes more dramatized,
I recall my aim to be my man's devoted wife.
~•~
Where there are difficulties, there's blessing in disguise.
After hardship comes ease. Never give up. Try, then strive.
Allah may want to raise your status in Paradise,
By testing you. Thus stay as your husband's pious wife.
~*~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
Source: Sahih Ibn Ḥibbān 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125

Note: Advice On How Not To Get Offended Easily

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
📜 Question: How can I stop being too sensitive? When someone insults me, criticizes or laughs at me, I tend to cry easily. What should I do to develop a thicker skin?
📝 Answer: Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala created His servants differently, each one with their own set of special traits, qualities, struggles, strengths and temperament. The four caliphs Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq, Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab, Ali Ibn Abi Talib and Uthman Ibn 'Affaan RadhiAllahu 'anhum had different characteristics and not all of them were exactly similar in terms of courage, physical strength, resilience, softness and generosity.
Your quality of being sensitive is what makes you unique. Don't be ashamed of how Allah the Almighty made you. You can use your sensitivity in a positive way by using it to better deal with others tactfully, sympathize with people's needs and demonstrate compassion whenever you can.
🔸 To not get affected nor feel bothered by what critics say:
° Remind yourself that your goal in life is to please Only Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. If some people try to offend you because they're not happy with you, so long as you're not disobeying Allah in any way, then don't pay any attention to people's insults, especially if their criticism happen to be lies that do not describe you.
° What people say about you and how they treat you actually reflect their current inner state and values. If some strangers or acquaintances treat you rudely, while you've never done anything wrong to them previously, note that they're either having a stressful day and they're immaturely passing on their misery unto you, they had a terrible upbringing or went through some sort of abuse, or they're low-key envious of the achievements you have or positive things you can do. Feel sorry for them. Thank Allah that He didn't make you an insecure bully and you're not in their shoes.
° Mere words and offensive statements cannot harm you as long as you don't give your haters permission to make you feel bad. Every time an obnoxious individual with zero good morals opens their mouth to insult you, try to guess where they're coming from. Are they criticizing you to feel better about their miserable selves? Practicing some words to expand their vocabulary? Is their snide remark or mockery meant to emphasize their jealousy? Or are they giving honest advice so you can improve as a Muslim, but they're saying it harshly? If a person's motive of criticizing you is to assist you in self-development, appreciate their concern and be strong enough to welcome constructive feedback. On the other hand, if some people are just insulting you for the sake of being randomly rude, imagine they're struggling patients at a mental hospital who don't know how to control what they say or do to you. Walk away from their nonsense with patience. Don't bother arguing with people who are ignorant of good Islamic values. Some girls simply hate a woman who seems to outdo, surpass or outshine them. Continue shining with vibrant confidence, Sabr and contentment.
Concentrate on striving to be the best version of yourself for Allah's sake as a Muslim, uninterested in people's approval, judgment and compliments.
📖 Abdullah Bin Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said:
"The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hands the Muslims are safe."
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Bukhari 10 Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi
📖 Amr Ibn Absah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what is Islam?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "That you surrender your heart to Allah and that the Muslims are safe from your tongue and hands."
Source: Shu’ab Al-Imān 20 Grade: Sahih

Note: More Reflections On The MBTI Typing Theory

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 A sister in Islam asked me if I could provide more info on the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) personality typing theory, so I'm answering her question here in case others are curious to know what it is. The first time I took the MBTI test years ago I got ESTP as my result. ESTP described how I used to be back in my teenage years and early 20s. Initiating group games like Truth or Dare, playing pranks for fun and joining casual soccer/football matches with female students from different grades were some of the activities I formerly enjoyed. After some time my MBTI type changed into ESTJ. One of the experiences I've had as an ESTJ teacher included coaching around 30 or more high school boys to sing a nasheed called "Allahu Akbar", only to cancel the performance just before the event because I thought some people may falsely accuse us of being something we're not. As time went by, after being disappointed in realizing how untrustworthy some individuals were, my MBTI personality type gradually transformed into INTJ. Or maybe I was mistyped and didn't answer the MBTI tests properly. If INTJ has been my personality type since I was a kid, then that could explain my inability to get hurt easily after the numerous verbal bullying I went through for some time (was temporarily bullied in elementary school being the only Filipino student among Saudis and Arabs prior to transferring to English international schools), my interest in reading various articles in Britannica and Encarta encyclopedia, and experimenting with random HTML codes when managing my archived online advice journal at TeenOpenDiary .com
Since INTJs are among the rarest of the 16 MBTI personality types (only very few individuals are INTJs), it can be challenging to encounter somebody whom we identify with or relate to.
Some weird things I do as an INTJ:
1] Despite having a cellphone without an active SIM card (at least for now), my phone is almost always set to airplane mode. Strangely I'm not the kind of person whom you can count on to answer text messages immediately upon reading them.
2] While I enjoy planning group outings and gatherings with a few sisters in Islam, I don't mind it if an outing, appointment or get-together gets cancelled. I understand the cancellation is either for our own good, the timing isn't ideal yet, or there is a better alternative
Inn-sha-Allah in the future.
3] I am okay Alhamdulillah with polygyny and don't consider the second wife as a "homewrecker". While some of my relatives thought my husband was cheating on me when they spotted him with another woman outdoors (I was around 26 years old that time), I wasn't the least bit surprised, like I saw it coming when I previously gave him permission to remarry.
By knowing what your MBTI is, you can have a clearer understanding of why you behave in a certain way compared to other individuals, particularly those whom you find it difficult to get along with peacefully. In my case I've clashed with several ISFPs and ESFPs who probably thought of me as "arrogant", "selfish" or "too strict" while I found them to be unreliable at times, too focused on how they feel at present and not concerned enough about the outcomes of defying reasonable rulings. Alhamdulillah just because someone's MBTI type is likely to conflict with yours, it doesn't mean there's no possibility at all to befriend them. Friendship takes place when two souls mutually respect each other and love one another genuinely for Allah's sake, regardless of their age gap, marital status, difference in interests and temperament.
You can Inn-sha-Allah discover what your MBTI type is by taking any of the following tests:
🔸 https://www.123test.com/jung-personality-test/
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp
https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Note: Virtues Of Controlling One's Anger

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 While having the last word and winning a debate can make one feel "in control", and striking an aggravating person with a violent punch makes one feel "powerful", acting upon anger without carefully thinking of the consequences shows lack of self-discipline. If you can't control what goes on inside you, such as your thoughts and fluctuating moods, it won't be easy to ensure that outside circumstances remain under control.
It took me several efforts of apologizing to some individuals whom I've offended in the past, random researches on anger management, and cancelled arguments with my husband, substituting the urge to quarrel with compassionate willingness to be patient, to realize that a bad temper isn't worth getting into trouble or losing the people whom I care about.
I am Inn-sha-Allah learning to implement the following principles concerning anger issues:
1] Instead of rushing to react angrily to someone's misconduct, pause and distance yourself from the object or subject trying to trigger a negative reaction. Imagine looking at yourself from another individual's point of view. Better yet, visualize if the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam was right in front of you observing, would you still demonstrate your feelings of fury be put into action or would you alter the move you're about to make, and carefully construct your statements?
2] Say "A'oodhu Billaahi min ash-shaytan ar-rajeem", do the opposite of what shaytan wants you to do, and avoid the places where angry emotions are likely to develop.
3] Ignoring toxic people and showing no interest in engaging with troublemakers are safer options for your heart, mind and soul than to insist on arguing with them, proving you're the one who's correct, and doing whatever you can to emphasize your ego is larger than theirs.
Choosing your battles wisely and training yourself to not lose your cool can prevent you from losing your job, unnecessary misunderstandings, long-term grudges, divorce, and broken friendships. It is better to struggle in maintaining patience for a brief moment than to be regretful for a lifetime due to missing out on an opportunity or behaving improperly because of impatience.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong are not those who are good at wrestling. Verily, the truly strong one is the one who controls himself during anger."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5763, Sahih Muslim 2609
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A man came to the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and he said, “Advise me.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Do not be angry.” The man repeated his request and the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Do not be angry.”
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5765
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said to us, "If one of you is angry while he is standing, let him sit down so his anger will leave him; otherwise, let him lay down."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4782
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Note: Avoiding People Who Enjoy Backbiting

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 As a Muslim Alhamdulillah your aim in life is to do what pleases Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala so Jannah becomes your destiny. Anything that hinders, slows you down or prevents you from achieving your goal to enter Paradise must be stopped or avoided for Allah's sake completely. You can't be a pious Muslim if you constantly hang out with misguided youths who prefer succumbing to their desires and this dunya instead of striving to improve in the Deen. The kind of company you keep can reflect the type of person you are or want to be. So typically if you chill with gamers, druggies, gangsters, fashionistas, selfie-addicts, celeb-wannabes or gossipers, you may end up catching some of their traits or acting like them to some degree. Thus be very careful with regards to who you consider your closest friends.

People who find pleasure in mocking or backbiting about others are in reality cowards, who are so insecure or emotionally wounded that they feel desperate to pass on their misery unto the subjects of their gossipy discussions. If they were clever, confident and happy with themselves, they wouldn't demoralize their values by gaining others' sins and giving out their good deeds through sinful backbiting. Every time a person talks badly about you in your presence or absence, they simply prove they're jealous of you for having a good quality that they lack, while they receive the wrongdoings which you previously did and the rewards of their past good actions are added to your account of deeds. Therefore, don't feel bad when clowns or jokers backbite about you. Their gossip and ridicule clearly indicate how envious they are of you, as they can't stand seeing you doing well in front of them, so they cowardly insult you from behind.

Before ditching the friends whom you've been acquainted with for a long time, advise them sincerely and inform them about the prohibition of backbiting. Gossiping is a major sin because Allah the Most Merciful disallowed it, since those who indulge in gossip behave improperly as if Allah the All-Knowing isn't seeing them and hearing their immoral conversations, making fun of His creations as though they themselves don't have any imperfections of their own.

If your companions stubbornly refuse to take your advice into consideration, gladly gift them with your avoidance. Don't feel guilty about distancing yourself from whatever distances you from wanting to become a better Muslim. 

Bad friends can always be replaced by good ones eventually in the future. It's better to walk alone in the correct direction than to side with a large crowd heading towards trouble or they're making the wrong decision. In the end, our good deeds are what accompany us to our graves, not our family, friends nor famous reputation. So even if you don't have any close friends who can make you laugh often, what matters is the safety of your faith/Imaan and your good deeds aren't wasted, especially through backbiting other Muslims.

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, the most beloved to me are those of you with the best character, soft in nature, friendly and befriended. The most hateful of you to Allah are those who spread tale-bearing and gossip, who cause discord between loved ones, seeking misery for the innocent."

Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Awsaṭ 7693

Grade: Hasan li ghayrihi (Fair due to external evidence) according to Al-Albani

Note: Tips On How To Detach From A "Crush"

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Developing feelings for someone isn't always a choice. We don't get to choose who we fall in love with. While our emotions can't be controlled all the time, we have the ability and freewill to select our response to how we feel.
If you're angry at a person, you can either express your anger directly or passive-aggressively, or you can forget what they did, forgive and repress it. If you're sad about something, your sadness could lead to self-destructive actions, or it could inspire you to be patient and resort to saying Dhikr and supplications. When you find some people attractive, intense emotions could lead to intentional staring, checking them out whenever you're in the same room, flirting, stalking their social media accounts which intensifies your attraction and fantasizing about them. However if you have Taqwa (Fear of Allah Only) and your faith/Imaan is strong, you can willfully avoid anything that could lead to fitna even if your heart still desired them. You leave them for Allah's sake because your love for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala is greater than satisfying your nafs, and you refuse to obey shaytan's whisperings.
The less you look at your crush or the less you see them, the more you'll forget about them and the romantic feelings for them gradually go away. So train yourself to be an expert at lowering your gaze. If some conversations are necessary with somebody whom you secretly admire; such as an ustadh/ustadha, salesperson, teacher, doctor or colleague; do your best to make the dialogue as brief as possible, avoid speaking with a flirtatious tone, and don't look straight into their eyes for prolonged periods. Gazing into each other's eyes with mutual lust or passion is often what makes people fall in love with one another.
Other ways to detach yourself from a potential haraam affair include: Keeping yourself busy with reading from the Noble Qur'an, saying Dhikr and Du'as regularly, reminding yourself of the evil consequences of zina/fornication/adultery, studying more about Islam to strengthen your faith/Imaan, and fasting more Sunnah fasts to discipline your nafs. Also remember that this world and its pleasures are temporary. Don't sacrifice eternal peace in Jannah Paradise for a few minutes of prohibited fun that results in regret from choosing to fail an examination.
📖 “The eye is the mirror of the heart, so if the slave lowers his gaze, the heart will lower its desires and whims, and if he lets his gaze wander, the desire in his heart will be released.”
Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim [May Allah have mercy on him. Ameen.]
[Rawdat Al-Muhibbīn, (p. 109)]

Note: Things We Must Do To Stay Contented

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Things that bring forth inner peace and contentment:
1• Maintaining a strong connection with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and striving to obey Allah's Commands, regardless of how His servants see or treat you.
2• Being grateful to Allah the Most Wise for the gifts and blessings that He destined for you. Patiently accepting Allah's Qadr/Decree while not comparing your unique life story to others' journeys.
3• When unpleasant circumstances happen or when you get disappointed for whatever reason, understand that Allah the Most Merciful only grants you what He knows is best for you. Trust Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, refusing to give up striving to pass Allah's tests, with patience and gratitude.
4• Carefully select which users and pages to follow on social media. Do not feel guilty about unfriending or unfollowing those whose status updates make you doubt your self-worth. The kind of posts you can expose yourself to should be ones that increase your level of faith/Imaan and enhance your self-esteem. Anyone who cowardly posts passive-aggressive content and gossipy updates deserves a virtual goodbye without warning.
5• Choose your daily battles wisely. Not every invitation to a fight and argument nor unnecessary messages that cause stress levels to escalate must be responded.
6• Aim to please only Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and be contented with Allah's Love. Be courageous enough to embrace solitude and rejection from Allah's slaves once in a while. Know that as long as Allah the Most Loving loves you and you're guided by Him, you can survive confidently and independently without requiring people's validation.
7• Calm your heart and soul by frequently saying Dhikr, particularly the morning and evening Adhkaar, increasing your Du'as, and make it a habit to read at least two pages from the Noble Qur'an each day and/or night. The more good deeds you do for Allah's sake e.g. praying Salat Ad-Duha and Qiyaam Al-Layl, the stronger your faith/Imaan is and the happier you are on the inside.
8• Don't be afraid of being imperfect nor cancel taking risks to avoid mistakes. Whenever you make a mistake or get overcome by your nafs, rush to do Tawbah and seek Allah's Forgiveness. Learn from your errors. Don't allow imperfections to prevent you from progressing and improving as a striving Muslim.
9• Among the happiest of people are those who try to be helpful and kindhearted. While trying your best to serve Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, do whatever you can for Allah's sake to avoid harming His creation. Being deliberately selfish, pridefully silent and taking advantage of people usually lead to guilt which contributes to struggling with feelings of emptiness.
📖 Fadalah ibn ‘Ubayd RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Blessed is one who is guided to Islam, whose livelihood is sufficient, and who is contented."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 2349
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Thawban RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Blessed is one who controls his tongue, whose house is spacious, and who weeps for his sins."
Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Awsaṭ 2398
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Be devout and you will be the most pious of people. Be contented and you will be the most grateful of people. Love for people what you love for yourself and you will be a believer. Behave well with your neighbors and you will be a Muslim. Laugh less, for too much laughter will deaden the heart."
Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4217
Source: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Note: Things To Avoid In Order To Be Happy

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Things that lead to depression or feelings of emptiness which we Muslims can avoid:
1• Allowing yourself to be dependent on people's actions and treatment of you to achieve happiness. Wrongly assuming that you'll be happy only if someone is nice to you or if your plans go well.
2• Comparing your life to others' lives, being addicted to watching vlogs and mukbang videos on YouTube, and feeling as though you lack something when you see other people doing things you can't do or having materialistic possessions which you don't own.
3• Forgetting Allah's blessings that He gave you, focusing on the bad events that took place previously, being unable to let go of the past, and magnifying your problems by complaining about them instead of saying Du'a and moving forward.
4• Scrolling through Facebook news feed and browsing random timelines for more than an hour without saying Dhikr or while delaying an obligatory prayer. The more you purposely delay a Salah and the more you neglect your duties to Allah the Almighty, the more your heart gets tainted with dark spots so you start feeling empty.
5• Frequently debating with keyboard warriors online and making long-term enemies offline. Being unwilling to forgive. Holding onto grudges and nosily stalking the accounts of people you dislike.
6• Being overly attached to temporary things like dunya and people. Not making effort to study about Islam and showing no interest in becoming pious or more practicing.
7• Listening to songs and music instead of calming recitations of the Noble Qur'an.
Harming your soul by letting it commit as many sins as you like e.g. watching porn, deliberately telling lies to make your audience laugh and backbiting about others "for fun".
8• Trying to live a so-called "perfect life" when perfection can only be found in Jannah Paradise. Assuming that getting married, getting richer, or traveling to a certain country spell out "success" and refusing to be contented with your condition until you obtain all three - marriage, wealth, and traveling for leisure.
9• Intentionally being selfish or withholding the favors that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala granted you. Rather than sharing beneficial knowledge you've learned, with Allah's Will, and providing surplus food to the needy when you have the chance to be generous, you keep your joys to yourself selfishly.
📖 Fadalah ibn ‘Ubayd RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Blessed is one who is guided to Islam, whose livelihood is sufficient, and who is contented."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 2349
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Thawban RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Blessed is one who controls his tongue, whose house is spacious, and who weeps for his sins."
Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Awsaṭ 2398
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Be devout and you will be the most pious of people. Be contented and you will be the most grateful of people. Love for people what you love for yourself and you will be a believer. Behave well with your neighbors and you will be a Muslim. Laugh less, for too much laughter will deaden the heart."
Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4217
Source: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Hadith: Paradise Is Surrounded By Hardships And Hell Is Surrounded By Desires

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "When Allah created Paradise and Hellfire, He sent Angel Jibreel to Paradise saying: 'Look at it and see what I have prepared therein for its people.' Jibreel came and looked at it and what Allah had prepared therein for its people. He returned to Allah and he said: 'By Your Might, no one will hear of it but that he will enter it.' Allah ordered that it be surrounded by trials (and things that are disliked or too difficult for most people to do) and He said: 'Return to it and look at what I have prepared therein for its people.' Jibreel returned and found that it was surrounded by hardships. He returned to Allah and he said: 'By Your Might, I fear that no one will enter it.' Allah said: 'Go to the Hellfire and look at it and see what I have prepared therein for its people.' Jibreel found that it was in layers, one above another. He returned to Allah and he said: 'By Your Might, no one who hears of it will enter it.' Allah ordered that it be surrounded by lusts and desires and He said: 'Return to it.' Jibreel returned and he said: 'By Your Might, I fear that no one will escape it.'"
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 2560
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi

Note: Stay True Even If Falsely Accused.

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 When you share Islamic posts or try to do Da'wah, making effort as a Muslim to fulfill your duty to enjoin right and forbid wrong, just for Allah's sake, some hateful people inevitably accuse you of riyaa (showing off), merely pretending or desperately promoting your "selfish agenda" whilst they promote their faces through uploading unhelpful selfies. Others wrongfully assume you're behaving religiously to make them feel inferior or they're not as good as you, when that isn't the case at all.
Oftentimes a number of critics may doubt you entirely, due to undeniable jealousy or inferiority complex, so even if you stated a clear fact or told the truth, they'd still speculate that you are lying. If you were a CEO, it would be hard to convince those haters that you are one, since they've already formed an assumption of you according to their standards, delusional fantasies, or hurt ego. Don't bother proving who you are to them if they adamantly see you as a garbage collector or tomato. (Sorry for the cringo)
You are not defined by people's opinions, rumors and perceptions of you.
A bad soul is still an awful being even if they were admired by thousands of loyal fans and avid supporters worldwide. In contrast, a good soul that is loved by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and His Angels, remains as a good soul destined for Jannah Paradise, even if they were hated or ostracized by many people for whatever reason.
Disrespectful strangers, troublemakers and individuals who scornfully undermine us are part of Allah's temporary trials that train us to enhance our patience.
📖 Ibn Mas’ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam was distributing charity when a man from the Ansaar said, “By Allah, Muhammad did not intend to please Allah with this!” I came to the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and told him about it, then anger could be seen on his face. The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Moses (Prophet Musa 'alaihis salaam) was hurt by more than this, yet he remained patient."
In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Who will be just if not Allah and His Messenger?"
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5712, Sahih Muslim 1062
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Note: On How To Deal With Suicidal Thoughts

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Due to the gradual increase of trials and tests before the occurrence of the Day of Judgment, many people may occasionally have suicidal thoughts, assuming that purposely ending their life would permanently terminate all the difficulties they are facing. Whether a Muslim feels saddened or depressed by how they're not receiving enough love and support from loved ones, or their business isn't as successful as they hoped it'd be, or they've recently lost somebody close to them either by death or their choice to no longer communicate, or they're financially struggling, or the false rumors that have been spread about them cause suicide to be tempting, or they can't stand being in love with someone whom they can't have so being heartbroken is not anymore tolerable, or basically their current mood can't be described as "happy" nor "contented" especially during these trying times, a Muslim should remember the fact that deliberately committing suicide is a major sin which Allah the Most Merciful and His noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam warned us against. The similitude of a person killing themselves due to being unsatisfied with life is that of a student who rebelliously throws his examination papers in the dustbin and storms out of the exam room, not caring what the examiners will do.
🔸Tips on how to deal with suicidal thoughts:
1] Constantly remind yourself that the main purpose Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala created us is to sincerely worship Him, not to please His servants nor build a personalized "dreamland of perfect bliss" on earth.
2] True happiness and eternal peace can only be found in Jannah Paradise, not in this world that was designed to be full of temporary tests. Continue doing your best to serve Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala to be worthy of His Love and entry to Jannatul Ferdaus.
3] Count the numerous blessings and gifts that Allah the Most Wise chose to give you. Among the things which Allah generously granted you include His Guidance to become a striving Muslim, access to learning more about Islam, the ability to read and understand the languages you speak, a simple or cozy home instead of wandering in the streets, and the electronic gadget you're using now to network with others many of whom may have gone through the same emotions you've experienced.
4] No matter how bad your present situation seems to be, there will always be several others around the world whose sufferings are more complicated than yours. A lot of them are able to survive with steadfast trust in Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala while maintaining rewarding patience, gratitude and contentment with Allah's Destiny.
5] While your Qadr/Decree has already been written, you can
Inn-sha-Allah change it positively by saying Du'a, particularly increasing your supplications while you're fasting, when praying Tahajjud / Qiyaam Al-Layl, or on every Friday.
6] Detach yourself from whatever and whoever triggers negative energy. Don't feel guilty about unfriending or unfollowing users whose updates frequently make you doubt yourself. Unapologetically avoid those who gossip and who distract you from trying to become a better Muslim.
7] Do Tawbah and repent from all the wrongdoings that bring your soul down. Sorrow, worries and depression are meant to expiate your sins so you're admitted to Jannah Paradise while sinless. When you reform and strive to obey Allah's Commands, and abandon what Allah and His noble Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam forbade, you can feel happier and your heart can be more at ease, free from guilt and dark spots which prevent spiritual light from entering.
8] Temporary feelings of sadness and worry can be more manageable when you recall how dunya and its joys as well as sorrows won't last long. Eventually we must meet Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and pray we are among those destined to reach Paradise. Ameen.
9] Be calm knowing that encountering hardships is one of the probable signs that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala loves you. By having an imperfect life in this world, you are motivated to work harder for Jannatul Ferdaus, understanding that the pleasures of dunya are unreal and not worth crying over.
Furthermore attain inner tranquility by maintaining a strong connection with Allah the Most Kind. Say more Adhkaar, Du'as and read from the Noble Qur'an as regularly as you can to comfort your heart and heal emotional wounds.
Allah's Prophets 'alaihim as-salaam, including the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, all went through a variety of challenging circumstances in their lives, opposition from some people and being falsely accused or viewed negatively. What makes you think that you deserve a 100% idealistic or satisfactory life in which every single plan goes well and you're adored by everybody?
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The Hour (the Day of Judgment) will not be established until a man passes by the grave of another man and he says: 'Would that I were in his place!'"
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6698, Sahih Muslim 157
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever kills himself with a piece of iron, his piece of iron in his hand will be thrust into his stomach in the fire of Hell forever and ever. Whoever drinks poison and kills himself, he will consume it in the fire of Hell forever and ever. Whoever throws himself off a mountain and kills himself, he will tumble into the fire of Hell forever and ever."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5442, Sahih Muslim 109
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Anas ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "None of you should wish for death due to a calamity that has afflicted him. Yet if he must do something, let him say: 'O Allah, keep me alive so long as life is good for me, and cause me to die if death is better for me.'"
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5347, Sahih Muslim 2680
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Jundub RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man among those before you was wounded. He was in such anguish that he took a knife, slit his wrist, and let the blood flow until he died. Allah the Almighty said: 'My servant has preceded Me with his soul, so I have forbidden Paradise for him.'"
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3276
Grade: Sahih (Authentic)
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Nothing afflicts a Muslim of hardship, nor illness, nor anxiety, nor sorrow, nor harm, nor distress, nor even the pricking of a thorn, but that Allah will expiate his sins by it."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5318, Sahih Muslim 2573
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim