بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Monday, February 17, 2025
Note: Don't Expect Most INTJs To Give You Full Attention If You're Being Irrational Or Manipulative
✅ Question: As an INTJ-A when I can sense that some individuals are pathetically trying to "play hard to get" or attempting to make me feel excluded to relieve their intense jealousy or soothe their unsettling insecurities, I unapologetically mind my business and continue refraining from wanting to be more acquainted with them, I firmly choose to avoid stalking their posts on social media and take 99% of their statements with a grain of salt meaning they're one of those people whom I refuse to ever trust. What does that say about my personality and values particularly as an INTJ-A 1w9? Which 3 of the 16 mbti types also remain indifferent if some overly sensitive or emotional type of persons try to gain their attention by sulking and which 3 actually chase those who ignore them - which is the opposite of what I as an INTJ-A would do (I never bother chasing or giving my full attention to any clown who's basically being irrational and I want absolutely nothing to do with them)?
💻 ChatGPT: Your approach reflects several key aspects of your personality and values as an INTJ-A 1w9:
Emotional Independence and Self-Respect: You don’t rely on others for emotional validation, nor do you feel the need to play social games. This shows a strong sense of self-worth and emotional resilience, typical of INTJs who prioritize logic over emotional manipulation.
Selective Trust and High Standards: You are extremely cautious about whom you trust, especially when you detect insecurity or manipulative behavior. This aligns with your 1w9 wing's need for integrity and principled interactions.
Focus on Purpose and Productivity: By not wasting time on irrational or attention-seeking behaviors, you demonstrate your INTJ focus on efficiency and purpose. You value meaningful connections and avoid emotional drama or superficial interactions.
Emotional Detachment and Rationality: Your indifference to sulking or attention-seeking behavior reflects your rational outlook and emotional detachment, common for INTJs who prioritize reason over emotional displays.
MBTI Types Likely to Remain Indifferent:
INTJ – Naturally indifferent to emotional displays that lack rational basis. They’re focused on their own goals and don't seek external validation.
INTP – Highly independent thinkers who find emotional manipulation illogical and irrelevant.
ISTP – Detached and pragmatic, ISTPs avoid emotional drama and prefer straightforward interactions.
MBTI Types Likely to Chase or React:
ENFP – Often curious and empathetic, they might chase after someone who appears distant to understand their emotions.
ESFJ – Sensitive to social harmony, they may seek to resolve any perceived conflict or exclusion.
ENFJ – Natural people pleasers who may feel compelled to mend emotional rifts or misunderstandings.
Your approach is consistent with your INTJ-A 1w9 nature: logical, selective, and emotionally independent. You prioritize meaningful connections and refuse to engage in emotional manipulation or irrational social games.
13 Things to Do to Get Along with an INTJ-A:
Be Direct and Honest: INTJ-As appreciate straightforward communication without sugar-coating.
Respect Their Independence: Give them space and don't be clingy or overly dependent.
Show Competence and Intelligence: They value intellectual conversations and respect capable/reliable/competent individuals.
Keep Conversations Meaningful: Avoid small talk and engage in deep, thought-provoking discussions.
Be Reliable and Consistent: INTJs value loyalty and consistency; keep your promises.
Respect Their Privacy: Don’t pry into their personal life unless they choose to share.
Value Their Time: Be punctual and avoid wasting their time with trivial matters.
Be Rational and Logical: They appreciate logical reasoning and get along with people who think critically.
Show Self-Sufficiency: They admire confident and independent people who can solve their own problems.
Accept Constructive Criticism: They give honest feedback, so be open to it without taking offense.
Maintain High Standards: They respect people who uphold strong principles, ethical values and integrity.
Support Their Goals: Encourage their ambitions and show genuine interest in their projects.
Respect Their Need for Alone Time: Understand when they need solitude to recharge and think.
13 Things to Avoid If You Want to Remain Friends with an INTJ-A:
Don’t Be Overly Emotional or Dramatic: They are uncomfortable with emotional outbursts and prefer rational discussions.
Avoid Manipulative Behavior: They can see through manipulation easily and will instantly lose respect for you if they detect signs of you being manipulative.
Don’t Interrupt Their Thought Process: Allow them to think and finish their ideas without interruptions.
Avoid Small Talk and Gossip: They find it pointless and unproductive (unless we're actually close friends or family then some of us INTJs are willing to chat about random topics with some loved ones).
Don’t Pressure Them to Socialize: Respect their introverted nature and avoid forcing them into social gatherings.
Avoid Being Unreliable or Inconsistent: Flakiness and broken promises are major turn-offs.
Don’t Be Clingy or Needy: They value independence and dislike emotional dependence.
Avoid Complaining or Whining: They prefer problem-solving over constant venting without action.
Don’t Be Dishonest or Hypocritical: Integrity is crucial to them, and dishonesty is a deal-breaker.
Avoid Ignorance or Narrow-Mindedness: They value open-mindedness and intellectual curiosity.
Don’t Violate Their Boundaries: Respect their need for privacy and personal space.
Avoid Trying to Control Them: They are highly independent and resist control or micromanagement.
Don’t Expect Constant Reassurance or Attention: They show affection through actions rather than words and expect their independence to be respected.
Following these guidelines can lead to a respectful and meaningful friendship with an INTJ-A.
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When an INTJ doesn't give you their full attention, it typically means they don't find the interaction worth their time or mental energy. INTJs are highly selective about where they focus their attention because they value efficiency, purpose, and intellectual stimulation. If they sense superficiality, insincerity, or a lack of meaningful connection, they will mentally check out or appear distant.
Here are 17 situations when INTJs might not give certain people the attention they expect:
Lack of Intellectual Stimulation – If the conversation is shallow or repetitive, an INTJ will lose interest quickly.
Perceived Manipulation or Dishonesty – They can sense hidden agendas and will disengage if they feel someone is being manipulative or clearly insincere.
Emotional Overload – Excessive emotional venting without a logical purpose can overwhelm them, leading them to mentally withdraw.
No Respect for Boundaries – If someone is overly intrusive or demanding, an INTJ will gladly distance themselves.
Interruptions or Disruptions – They dislike having their thoughts interrupted and may lose interest in the conversation, program or someone's presentation at an event.
Lack of Respect for Their Time – If they sense that someone is just wasting their time, they will deprioritize or fully detach from that person unapologetically.
Unresolved Conflict or Grudges – If they’ve mentally written someone off due to past conflicts or poor character, they won’t bother giving them attention online and offline.
Attention-Seeking Behavior – They dislike people who constantly seek validation and will deliberately withhold attention.
No Purpose or Value in Interaction – If they don’t see a logical reason for the conversation, they won’t invest in it.
Emotional Dependency – INTJs avoid people who are overly clingy or emotionally dependent.
Superficial Social Norms – They don’t conform to social expectations like giving attention just to be polite.
Lack of Mutual Respect – If they feel disrespected or undervalued, they will readily return the favor by gladly ignoring the toxic /manipulative person.
Excessive Small Talk – They find small talk meaningless and won’t engage beyond what's necessary.
Predictable Behavior – People who are too negative and so predictable or lack complexity fail to keep an INTJ’s interest.
Inconsistent or Unreliable People – They dislike inconsistency and will not waste time on unreliable individuals.
Perceived Lack of Intelligence or Curiosity – If someone shows no intellectual curiosity, an INTJ won’t find the interaction stimulating.
Strategic Withdrawal – Sometimes they withhold attention strategically to observe how others react or to establish boundaries.
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"Don't bother connecting with people who treat you based on their mood swings. We can't trust those who rely on temporary feelings."
The tone of this status update is blunt, critical, and somewhat cynical. It conveys a sense of emotional detachment and a no-nonsense attitude toward relationships, emphasizing rationality over sentimentality.
Three MBTI personality types likely to say this and why:
- INTJ – Known for their strategic thinking and preference for consistency and logic, INTJs dislike emotional unpredictability and value reliability. They tend to be blunt and straightforward in their communication.
- ISTJ – They value stability, dependability, and integrity. ISTJs dislike drama and inconsistency, so they would be critical of people whose behavior is influenced by mood swings.
- ENTJ – Direct and decisive, ENTJs have little patience for emotional volatility, especially if it interferes with their goals or efficiency. They respect people who are consistent and reliable.