بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين

بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين
May Allah the Almighty grant us more beneficial knowledge, accept our good deeds, forgive our mistakes, protect us from fitna, and join us with the righteous believers in Jannatul Ferdaus. Ameen.

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Tips: On Dealing With Adult Bullying

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Intentional harassment or bullying doesn't only occur in school, but it can also take place among "adults", particularly in the workplace. Adult bullying is usually done by insecure individuals, who act like childish fifth-graders persistently messing with another student whom they regard as prettier, wealthier or more intellectually accomplished than them. 

🔹 Three examples of bullying behavior found in some "adults":

1] They deliberately try to make you feel excluded. Imagine talking to a group of five friends, discussing where your next outing will be. After you all agreed to a specific date and location, you later discover on social media that they already had their gathering without you. Upon confronting them about it, you're informed that they wanted the hangout much earlier and "forgot" to invite you. This awkward misunderstanding doesn't happen just once, but numerous times.

2] A co-worker or acquaintance behaves like an obnoxious bully when they have an awful habit of distributing items to everyone in a room while purposely ignoring you.

3] When they're in a bunch with bystanders around, they treat you with fake niceness, yet when nobody close to you is watching they emphasize their insecurities through immature gossip, direct as well as passive-aggresive maltreatment, injustice and disrespect.

🔹 Ways to cope with adult bullying:

1] Maintain strong connection with Allah the Almighty and keep trusting Him Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. The stronger your faith/Imaan is, the less prone you are to becoming emotionally affected by people's unfair dealings with you.

2] Understand that whoever tries to hurt you on purpose is likely hurting inside. Their self-hatred, struggles with inferiority complex, ignorance of good morals, miserable upbringing or intense jealousy towards you could explain why they treat you poorly.

3] Be grateful Alhamdulillah that you're not the one oppressing others and taking people's sins. It is better to be the innocent subject being gossiped about than be the insecure gossiper whose unkindness causes their despicable envy to become clearly evident.

4] Avoid and minimize your interactions with toxic people. Unfriend, unfollow and never bother checking the timelines of those whose companionship can't add any positive value to your overall well-being. Gladly walk away from adult bullies and learn not to copy their terrible traditions.

5] Focus on developing your connections with those who genuinely care about you for Allah's sake. Find new companions who can inspire you to become a better Muslim and whose actions aren't manipulated by selfishness, egoistic pride, insecurity, greed or self-hate. 

Oftentimes it's your inner beauty, abilities, firm faith/Imaan, confidence and other gifts from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala which intimidate certain individuals. Don't let their misery and criticism stop you from being the best version of yourself.

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: 'Allah has decreed what He wills.' Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

Poem: I Can't Get Jealous Over Worldly Matters

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Since I believe that Allah blessed everyone fairly,

And as a Muslim I must accept Allah's Decree,

I can't get jealous of others' joys which are worldly

Nor envy people for what they got and have received.

~*~

Even if I meet ladies much prettier than me,

Or see celebrities enjoy lives of luxury,

Or have friends who are more successful financially,

I still can't afford to make my heart carry envy.

~*~

She can own all the make-up products and clothes she likes,

Collect many costly shoes and always be in style,

Earn a PhD degree and be highly admired,

And still I can't make myself envy that kind of life.

~*~

This guy and that one too can claim I'm poor if they like,

While those women can snub me, backbite or criticize,

And still I won't be fazed by their shallowness and lies;

Since my goal isn't this world, but Jannah Paradise.

~*~

Honestly, I can't bring myself to envy others

For what they've been given by Allah our Creator,

Who justly distributed His gifts and His favors,

And Who loves those who patiently accept His Qadr.

~*~

Should there be souls whom I admire, then strong believers

Whose hearts prefer Paradise to temporal pleasures,

Who memorized the Qur'an, obey Allah's Orders,

And who find peace in Allah's Love, Du'as and Dhikr.

~*~

Sincere souls who love Allah are those I look up to,

With hearts free from hate, jealousy and ingratitude.

No reason for me to resent what Allah gave you.

All blessings are meant to test our faith and gratitude.

~*~

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "There is no envy but in two cases: A man whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it rightly in Allah's Way, and a man whom Allah has given wisdom and he acts upon it and teaches with it."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 73, Sahih Muslim 816

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Hadith: Virtues Of Praying And Following The Sunnah Of The Beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam

 📖 Malik ibn Al-Huwayrith RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Pray as you have seen me praying. When the time of prayer arrives, let one of you announce the call to prayer for you and then let the older of you lead the prayer.”

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5662

Sahih Muslim 674

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Whoever innovates into this matter of ours that which does not belong to it, it will be rejected.”

In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Whoever performs a deed that is not in accordance with our matter, it will be rejected.”

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 2550

Sahih Muslim 1718

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Shall I not tell you of that by which Allah expiates your sins and increases your good deeds?” They said, “Of course, O Messenger of Allah.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Thorough ablution despite difficulty, taking many steps to the Masjid, and waiting for one prayer after another prayer.”

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 427

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani