Tips: When To Forgive And Move On. When To Forgive And Reconcile.

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Oftentimes when you argue with some oversensitive individuals or those with bad intent in trying to connect with you from the beginning, they blurt out all of their actual perceptions of you and mention remarks which they'd later regret revealing. Although it is not easy for everybody, it is encouraged to forgive other Muslims for Allah's sake just as we too would want Allah the Almighty to pardon our shortcomings when we seek His Forgiveness. In spite of that, being lenient and forgiving shouldn't compel us to stay connected with individuals whose presence brings more damage than merit. 

📨 When can we simply forgive a person and move on, without bothering to salvage the toxic "friendship" (we don't want anything to do with them anymore)?

1] If they mentioned something like "so it's true what those people said" or "so-and-so told me such-and-such about you. I see they're right" during the argument. You can't form meaningful connections with resentful gossipers who enjoy backbiting and believe in the validity of nonsensical rumors. 

2] If they lack courage or integrity to clearly clarify their misconduct, or they respond to your questions with other queries such as "What about so-and-so? They did what I did. Why don't you scold them or condemn their acts also?", "Do you know that there are many others who did a lot worse than what I did?" and "Why do you act like you're the only perfect human being? I did what I did for a reason." You can never trust anybody who is too egotistical, prideful, selfish, greedy, or narcissistic to admit their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions. 

3] If you realized they shamefully lied to you on more than one occasion. For instance, you requested them one day if they could accompany you to go shopping, and they cheerfully agreed. You asked them on the same day if they were really willing to join you outdoors and they reassured that you weren't causing any inconvenience. However, after you confront them about an abominable mistake they could've refrained from, they suddenly accuse you of being inconsiderate because once upon a time, you "made" them feel obliged to accompany you for shopping while they actually had more important tasks to do. Avoid building friendships with people who are not truthful, not trustworthy, and not transparent enough concerning how they truly feel. You can't gain anything valuable by talking to someone who willfully conceals certain truths from you, and they're more concerned about their own greed than rectifying themselves to please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. 

✅ When can you forgive a Muslim for Allah's sake and consider reconciliation? 

1] If they expressed that they were genuinely sorry and shed tears, or they were teary-eyed while apologizing.

2] If they eagerly promise to not repeat what they did while you notice positive change in their overall behavior. 

3] If they apologized to you one-on-one plus they recruited some mutual acquaintances to apologize to you on their behalf. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives another but that Allah increases his honor, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah but that Allah raises his status."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2588

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is not stung twice from the same hole." 

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5782 

Sahih Muslim 2998 

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi  

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/note-theres-always-reason-why-allah.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/note-seven-types-of-temporary-people.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/06/tips-checklist-to-determine-if-you.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-what-it-means-to-boycott-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/note-its-your-prerogative-to-choose.html 

Links: Explanation Of The Book "Kitaab At-Tawheed" (Speaker ustadh Abu Muadh Taqweem)

PDF Document e-book "Concise Commentary On The Book Kitaab At-Tawheed" by sheikh Saleh Al-Fawzaan (to learn more about Islam for Allah's sake, not for sale)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Ybli_GcfzJ4OcmQHlvgE3DDCg2466_dJ/view?usp=drivesdk

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a3HQZQeGEUE&list=PLodS-V1Zb6SNCoTVUKO6tsFrTb-4-Dlgf&index=1

Poem: How Can You Tell That You Married A Good Man?

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 If you were to ask me, "Exactly how would you know 

That Allah the Most Kind and Wise has indeed bestowed 

Upon you the best soulmate? Really, how do you know 

That your husband's a good man who doesn't throw sorrow 

At you, so you can stay loyal wherever he goes?" 

~•~

I'd say, contentedly, without pretense and remorse, 

"Alhamdulillah. I thank Allah that He bestowed 

Upon me a loving spouse. With certainty I know 

There are reasons why Allah connected us two souls. 

In many cases Allah's Wisdom isn't yet shown. 

~•~

I believe and I know, without deluding my soul, 

That my husband's a good man because through him I've grown 

In countless ways, with Allah's Will, I've learned to be strong, 

More patient and understanding when my husband's work 

Keeps him busy, and despite that I don't feel forlorn. 

~•~

I believe he's a good man as I've seen that he goes 

To the Masjid whenever he can, and he has shown 

Me how charming he is with children who often go 

To him to enjoy his fun stories and cheerful jokes.

Overall my husband's vibes bring forth warmth and comfort.

~•~

Although my spouse and I don't meet up daily, I know 

That our marriage is blessed, since my faith/Imaan stays strong. 

My husband's presence inspires Shukr, and when he goes 

Out, I greet Sabr, not forgetting my man's efforts, 

And loving him for Allah's sake outweighs any gold."

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Tirmidhi

Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125 

📖 Ibn 'Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "I was shown the Hellfire and (found) that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."

Sahih Al-Bukhari 29

In-book reference: Book 2, Hadith 22

USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 1, Book 2, Hadith 29 

📖 Jabir RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, shaytan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: 'I have done this and this.' shaytan says: 'you have done nothing.' Another one says: 'I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife.' shaytan embraces him and he says: 'you have done well!'"

Source: Sahih Muslim 2813

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-five-signs-that-your-husband-does.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-demerits-of-divorce.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-on-being-husbands-loyal-wife.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/poem-as-your-husbands-loyal-wife-avoid.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-dismiss-shaytans-whispers-as-he.html 

Tips: Some Advice On Ignoring Toxic Individuals

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

🗒️ Some tips to ignore toxic individuals at work or school for Allah's sake, as they mutter nonsensical insults whenever you pass by them despite previously advising them to quit acting obnoxious or you're avoiding unnecessary conversations with them because they are notorious for gossiping: 

1] Put your headphones on when you know you'll be walking past them while listening to Qur'an recitations, Islamic lectures or inspirational talks set to loud volume, and stubbornly withhold from giving them eye contact as much as possible. 

2] If you don't have earphones, simply continue listening to some Qur'an recitations, Islamic lectures or inspirational talks on your cellphone / android tablet set to very high volume (to mute the toxic individuals), and steadfastly avoid making eye contact with them as much as possible.  

3] Try to make your walking pace or gait as quick as possible whenever you must walk past individuals who are too toxic to talk to. By behaving as though you're in a hurry and too busy to give them any attention, while minimizing your glances at them, you are signalling the fact you have no interest whatsoever in befriending those who are toxic and unreliable. 

4] No matter what they do to seek your attention, such as purposely disregarding you while being brashly chatty around others, gladly stay away from interacting with them as much as possible. Frequently recall those instances when they acted obnoxiously and proved to you they're not trustworthy at all. 

5] Understand that forgiving people from within doesn't always necessitate reconciliation if reconciling with someone whom you can't trust only brings about trouble in both worlds. Forgive them for Allah's sake as you confidently move on, distancing yourself (to protect your faith/Imaan and overall well-being) from their unreliability, despicable lack of manners, and awful tendency to tell lies countless times.

~•~

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Ali ibn Husayn RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, part of perfection in Islam is for a person to leave what does not concern him."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2318

Grade: Sahih li ghayri (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/tips-five-types-of-people-we-can-avoid.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/06/tips-when-to-ignore-insults-to-be.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-three-instances-when-its-wiser-to.html 

Tips: Questions You May Ask Yourself To Check If You're People-pleasing Or Being Sincerely Kind And Helpful

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📑 Seven questions you may ask yourself to determine if you are being genuinely kind and helpful or you're being a people-pleaser: 

1] The act of kindness you're about to do - are you going to do it to serve Allah the Almighty, not to impress His servants nor to be known as a generous person? 

2] Is that act of kindness something which you also give yourself and your loved ones often, not exclusively to specific individuals? 

3] By doing that act of kindness, are you certain that you only seek rewards and more love from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, instead of actually wanting the approval or attention of specific individuals? 

4] Is that something you really want to do, from your heart, and you know you're doing it for Allah's sake, free from reluctance and compulsion? 

5] Once you carry out that act of kindness sincerely for Allah's sake, can you guarantee you won't feel bothered or offended if the person whom you were kind to doesn't thank you directly, because you're truthfully making effort to please just Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala instead of His servants? 

6] Are you absolutely sure that this act of kindness doesn't oppose what Allah and His noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam approve of and it won't contradict your values? 

7] Can you reassure yourself that this act of kindness isn't done because you're worried about being perceived as "selfish" or "unhelpful", but rather you're trying to be kind since Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala loves those believers who strive to do charity/sadaqah for His sake whenever possible? 

If you answered "yes" to the above questions, then 

Inn-sha-Allah you're not guilty of people-pleasing. 

May Allah the Most Forgiving forgive all our mistakes and wrong intentions. Ameen. 

~•~

📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah by the displeasure of the people, Allah will suffice him against the people. Whoever seeks the pleasure of the people by the displeasure of Allah, Allah will leave him to the patronage of the people."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2414

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan." 

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-why-we-should-please-allah-only.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/note-steadfastness-in-pleasing-allah.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/note-importance-of-doing-good-deeds.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/tips-three-types-of-grudges-and-how-to.html 

https://abukhadeejah.com/ikhlas-its-meaning-how-to-achieve-it-and-the-whisperings-of-shaytan/