Tips: What I, An INTJ Personality Type, Do When Unfriended On Facebook

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: As an INTJ personality type, what would you do if you found out that some users unfriended you? Or what's a rational way of reacting to certain people's decision to discontinue being "friends"?

📑 Answer: Alhamdulillah, without fabricating lies and ego soothing, my usual reaction when I discover that a user unfriended me on Facebook is I don't feel surprised or offended at all because:

1) I understand that people are temporary. The Only One Who always remains is Allah the Almighty.

2) Since I'm strictly selective regarding who I regard as an actual friend, I'm incapable of getting emotionally attached to people easily. So even if an acquaintance or neighbor left after several years, their departure doesn't affect me, as there was no real connection built in the first place.

3) Even if the person who unfriended me had pleasant qualities or they can't be described as "toxic", I'd accept Allah's Will, with contentment, in letting them go because Allah the Most Wise decides who gets to stay in our lives and who should exit stage right for our own well-being. 

Once a user is no longer connected to me on social media, I don't bother stalking their accounts or thoroughly reading their posts and any comment mentioning their names. They're like withered leaves which fell from a tree, and picking them up for future use or evaluating if they've changed positively doesn't sound appealing to me. 

Oftentimes Allah the Most Loving causes us to meet particular souls only for us to separate on a destined date to train us to rely on nobody but Him Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. The more we get accustomed to noticing people come and go, the more our heart detaches from the longing for others' approval to just focusing on attaining Allah's Love and Guidance to Jannatul Ferdaus where the hearts of Allah's slaves aren't tempted anymore by negative distractions such as undue suspicion, dishonesty, and jealousy. 

As for relatives who aren't on my "Facebook friends" list, including my dear husband, my brothers and some aunties, of course I care about them for Allah's sake and Alhamdulillah we're on good terms. I respect the right of any human to select what kind of status updates and content they regularly absorb on their news feed.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Ali Ibn Husayn RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, part of perfection in Islam is for a person to leave what does not concern him."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2318

Grade: Sahih li ghayri (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/note-allah-never-leaves-let-people-come.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-how-to-deal-with-people-who-hate-us.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-secret-to-feeling-indifferent-when.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-choose-your-online-and-offline.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-how-to-react-when-some-users.html 

~•~

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-indifferent-you-appear-based-on-your-personality-type/

Poem: If I Could Make Any Wish Regarding Marriage Life

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 "If you could make just one wish regarding your marriage, 

What would you wish for if it's something you don't see yet?" 

I wish that when my spouse and I are reunited 

In Jannah, with Allah's Will and His Mercy granted, 

I wish my spouse can watch a playback of what I did 

To prove my love for him, from how frequently my lips 

Mentioned him in Du'as to how I cared for his kids. 

~•~ 

I wish he can be shown a list of recorded clips 

Of me mentioning him while praying on a carpet 

Or ground, beseeching Allah to keep him protected, 

Inspired to do what's right and to the Straight Path guided, 

Supplicating for my husband whenever he's missed, 

When his frequent absence and late replies cause unrest, 

And when my contentment with this marriage is expressed. 

~•~ 

I wish he sees that when non-mahrams are detected, 

I'd lower my gaze so from fitna I stay shielded, 

Proving he's the only soul on earth I'm in love with. 

If I could make just one wish regarding my marriage, 

I'd wish that when my dear soulmate and I are granted 

Jannah's entry, with Allah's Will, that he views some clips 

Of me staying loyal ever since we got married.

~•~

📖 Umm Salamah RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah (Paradise)."

[At-Tirmidhi, who classified it as Hadith Hasan]

Riyad As-Salihin 286

In-book reference: Introduction, Hadith 286 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/poem-always-love-your-husband-even-if.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/poem-righteous-muslim-wife-is-loving.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/poem-tips-to-cope-with-ldr-and-how-to_7.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-mindset-of-loyal-and-patient-wife.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/poem-have-enough-patience-to-wait-for.html 

Note: Reflection On Why We Gravitate To Certain Souls More Than Others

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

🗒️ Why is it that even if you have thirteen or more headscarves / hijabs and abayas / cloaks / outfits etc. you prefer to wear only three or so out of them more regularly than the others? Why is it that even if you have hundreds of "friends" on Facebook, there's a certain group of users whose timelines you enthusiastically check more often than the other individuals' pages? 

Five possible reasons why we gravitate to some souls a lot more than those whom we regard as mere acquaintances: 

1] They're more readily accessible, reachable, available, responsive, and reliable.

2] We've had more enjoyable and memorable moments with them than with the others. 

3] We feel more comfortable, secure, and confident when we're around them than when we are anywhere near the others. 

4] They've proven to be helpful, understanding, and cooperative in more instances than the other acquaintances who can assist only in specific events, seasons, or circumstances. 

5] They're our type - they have relatable characteristics and more qualities which we search for in an ideal friend than the complete strangers whose dissimilarities bring about conflict and apathy. 

The more somebody reciprocates our efforts to connect, the more they become likable to us. The more distant, disinterested, aloof, unresponsive and negative a person acts, the more we gradually distance ourselves from them until they no longer have any significant role in our lives. 

While it's not obligatory to befriend each and every soul whom Allah the Most Wise destines us to meet, we should as Muslims strive to practice basic courtesy with them for Allah's sake, avoiding purposely telling lies, betraying, and gossiping also to preserve our good deeds.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638 

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-pure-hearts-breathe-to-please.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-its-okay-to-not-be-liked-by.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/poem-how-can-you-tell-if-persons-vibes.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-what-often-leads-to-conflict-or.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-how-to-react-when-some-users.html 

Note: Can A Muslimah Attend Her Husband's Second Wedding? Yes Or No?

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Can a Muslimah attend her husband's second wedding? Allah the Almighty knows best. Since there is no clear evidence regarding the prohibition of a first wife attending the second wedding of her husband, she may attend that special occasion as long as she willingly, wholeheartedly, and enthusiastically wants to be a guest at her husband's second wedding, while the new bride stated that she is completely fine with the first wife's presence. Nonetheless if the first wife believes that attending such wedding could only trigger conflict and unwelcome drama, she has a right to stay at home and decline the invitation, particularly if many of the guests may be distracted by feeling sorry for her rather than congratulating the new bride for getting married. 

✅ When is it reasonable for a Muslimah to attend her husband's second wedding? 

1] If she herself persuaded her husband to remarry, and the woman whom he agreed to marry for Allah's sake happens to be one of her close friends or cousins, while there's no enmity between them.  

2] If she feels that she is confident and strong enough to handle watching her husband marry another woman, while she has spoken to the new bride several times before, and she intends to consider her as one of her good friends, not competitors, for Allah's sake. 

3] If she was invited by the new bride to attend the wedding and she seems eager to form a friendship with the first wife. 

❎ When is it wiser for her to not attend her husband's second wedding? 

1] If she has a plan to spoil the wedding, to embarrass the new bride, or to command the attendees to take her side and persuade her husband to cancel his second marriage. 

2] If she can sense that the new bride still doesn't feel comfortable around her and attending the special event could make the new bride feel awkward or guilty about marrying an already married guy. The first wife can patiently wait for some days to go by until she gradually gets more acquainted with her co-wife.

3] If her husband politely requested or clearly commanded her to not attend his second wedding, while reassuring her that he will always love her for Allah's sake even if he is married to up to four wives. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Do not cause harm or return harm. Whoever harms others, Allah will harm him. Whoever is harsh with others, Allah will be harsh with him."

Source: Al-Sunan Al-Kubrá 11070

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-patience-for-allahs-sake-can.html  

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/poem-i-love-my-husband-for-allahs-sake.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-my-answer-to-what-made-you-accept.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/poem-understand-that-theres-wisdom.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-when-is-polygyny-better-than.html 

Tips: Seven Things To Tell Yourself To Avoid Feeling Envious Of Your Co-Wife / Co-Wives

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Seven things which you can tell yourself to avoid feeling envious of your co-wife/co-wives: 

1] "Allah the Almighty has made it lawful/halal/permissible for Muslim men, who are capable financially and responsibly, to be married to up to four wives. Why should I complain about something which Allah the Most Wise legislated and permitted?" 

2] "I see my husband's other wife/wives as a potential friend (potential friends) whom I can also care about for Allah's sake. If she/they is/are unwilling to reciprocate my willingness to build a friendship, at least I look forward to attaining plentiful rewards from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for striving to maintain patience, good manners and contentment with Allah's Qadr/Destiny." 

3] "My co-wife isn't my enemy. In fact, seeing how we both love the same handsome, caring, funny, hardworking, and huggable Muslim man as our husband, it's one sign that we have a lot in common. Our actual foe is shaytan, and this devil despises it when Muslim co-wives strive to be at peace with one another." 

4] "From the signs of being a pious Muslimah is to want for other Muslims what one wishes for oneself. I choose to be friendly and courteous with my co-wife just as I'd like it if she treated me cordially as well." 

5] "My co-wife has her own special qualities which my husband finds attractive. Likewise I'm contented with the unique traits which Allah the Most Loving has bestowed upon me and which keep my husband feeling grateful for having me as his patient, loyal, faithful, dedicated and empathic wife." 

6] "Anything which my co-wife does intending to provoke, upset or annoy me occurs because of shaytan's evil whisperings. She's a human being after all, prone to making mistakes once in a while. I'd rather forgive her for Allah's sake than satisfy shaytan by stooping to the level of insecure adults who constantly play tit-for-tat to pacify their insecurities." 

7] "Envying other human beings is almost the same as questioning Allah's Wisdom in how He has wisely distributed His favors and blessings to His servants. As a Muslim Alhamdulillah who strives to accept Allah's Qadr with Shukr (gratitude) and Sabr (patience), I refuse to act on jealous feelings, particularly to preserve my good deeds."

~•~ 

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Envy consumes good deeds just as fire burns wood. Charity (Sadaqah) extinguishes sinful deeds just as water extinguishes fire. Prayer is the light of the believer and fasting is his shield from the Hellfire."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4210

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Ibn Asakir 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Umm Salamah RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah (Paradise)."

[At-Tirmidhi, who classified it as Hadith Hasan]

Riyadh As-Salihin 286

In-book reference: Introduction, Hadith 286 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/poem-what-to-expect-when-youve-become.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/note-whats-it-like-to-love-your-husband.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/tips-types-of-wives-you-may-encounter.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/note-tips-for-co-wives-in-polygyny.html