Note: Marriage Life Survey

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 •[ Marriage life survey ]• 

1] How old were you and your husband when you both married? 

🔹 I was 20 years old while my husband was 28. 

2] In three ways how are you and your husband so different? 

🔹 My MBTI personality type is INTJ while his is ESFJ. Alhamdulillah I was born in Saudi Arabia while he grew up in Southern Philippines. While I enjoy desserts, he prefers salty edibles. 

3] Mention three aspects that make you and your husband nearly similar to each other? 

🔹 We both aren't fans of corn (mais). The jobs we wanted when we were still at school aren't precisely the occupations we have at the moment. If I'm not mistaken, my husband was initially interested in becoming a pilot but then after some time decided to be employed as a medical doctor. As for me, I aspired to major in psychology back then but Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala planned that I'd focus on studying more about Islam. Alhamdulillah my husband and I similarly enjoy helping others out whenever we're given the chance to assist and advise. 

4] What is one funny or interesting thing you can't forget about your wedding?

🔹 There wasn't any wedding cake as we wanted to keep the joyful occasion closer to the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam. I remember my husband trying to feed me pancit bihon (noodles) while I felt awkward as I wasn't accustomed to being fed by another adult. 

5] Who did your makeup on your wedding day? 

🔹 A Visayan I think beautician who was hired to apply cosmetics on the brides (it was a mass wedding, with three grooms and three brides). Since I didn't want to look clownish, I later on erased half of the heavy makeup which she applied. 

6] After marrying each other for Allah's sake as a number of years have passed by, how are you and your husband different from when you were single? 

🔹 Alhamdulillah, with Allah's Will, my husband played a huge role in inspiring me to quit feeling insecure about my weight and body image. Through him Alhamdulillah I've learned to be more confident, understanding of people with special needs, and appreciative of actual inner beauty. I've seen him gradually progress as well Alhamdulillah, for instance he reads from the Noble Qur'an more often than before, avoids staring at non-mahram females as much as he can, and he doesn't wear neck chains anymore. 

7] What advice can you briefly give to Muslim wives and husbands to ensure that their marriages can thrive in both worlds? 

🔹 Always do everything sincerely for the sake of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala with dedicated patience / sabr and consistent gratitude / shukr. Understand that perfection and complete happiness can only be found in Jannah Paradise. Include your spouse in your Du'as regularly and remind yourself that you married a human being, so don't be surprised if some of his actions upset you occasionally. True love for Allah's sake doesn't give up that easily. Instead of comparing your soulmate's development to other individuals, contentedly concentrate on the countless blessings of your unique love story.

~•~ 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O young men, if you are able to support a wife, get married. Verily, it lowers the gaze and guards chastity. Whoever is not able to do so, he must fast as it will restrain his passions (desires)."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1806 

Sahih Muslim 1400

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-my-brief-love-story-and-allahs.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-why-i-dont-get-tired-of-loving-my.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/note-survey-on-love-and-marriage.html 

Note: Seven Types Of Temporary People And How To Deal With Their Departure

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Seven types of temporary people we meet in this temporal life, and how to deal with their departure: 

1📨 People who are like chewing gum, whose presence we enjoy for a limited time period. Once we get tired of being around them or when they lose their flavor, we easily discard them as they're no longer useful, purposeful, or beneficial to us. (Example↪️ Some of our teachers who taught subjects which we didn't really find interesting, classmates and schoolmates whose life goals differ from ours.) 

✅ How to deal with discarded packs of gum: Crying over them would make one look irrational. Patiently accept Allah's Qadr/Destiny and move on, aware that you can purchase or receive new ones Inn-sha-Allah in the future if you pass by a store or street vendor selling them. 

2📨 People who are like dust or sand particles, whose faces and vibes haven't proven to be meaningful in your life at all. (Example↪️ Salespeople, shoppers and pedestrians whom you notice when outdoors.) 

✅ How to deal with granules which carry no purpose in your life: If you can't plant flowers or trees with them, or even enjoy making sandcastles out of them, then don't worry about them. They have their own set of people who were destined by Allah the Most Wise to network with them, and it's perfectly alright if you're not among them. 

3📨 People who are like thorns, staples or thumbtacks which you clumsily step on, and their disappearance brings peace and relief. (Example↪️ Employers, colleagues and neighbors who act like troublesome bullies or internet trolls who post offensive comments because they abhor their unhappy selves.) 

✅ How to deal with unwelcome troublemakers: Stand firm for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and don't let their nonsensical insults affect you. Carefully avoid them for Allah's sake or at least keep your encounters as few as possible. 

4📨 People who are like synthetic or artificial flowers. While having lots of them can make you appear "cool", "popular", "likable", "charismatic" and "intriguing", staying connected to these types doesn't add any noteworthy value to your faith/Imaan. They can't teach you anything valuable nor are they eager to learn more about Islam. (Example↪️ So-called "friends" on Facebook and acquaintances who are superficially friendly.) 

✅ How to deal with disposable plastics: If you can't benefit from such decorations or there's no significant role for them in your life, gladly move on and thank Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for the lessons you've learned through them. Nonetheless, still maintain good manners with them because you're a kindhearted Muslim.

5📨 People who behave like leeches, who drain you emotionally and haven't done a single act of kindness ever since you first met. (Example↪️ Actual narcissists who feel so entitled to earn your loyalty while they themselves aren't trustworthy, and who expect you to spoil them with gifts and freebies while it's clear they're jealous of you secretly.) 

✅ How to deal with toxic people and jealous frenemies: Be grateful to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala that He kept you far away from their negative influence. Patiently look forward to building new connections with better souls 

Inn-sha-Allah in the future. 

6📨 People who are like gigantic signboards containing symbols and text written in a language which you can't decipher. (Example↪️ Participants who attend a conference or online workshops with you, and you haven't found any reason to connect with them because your souls' energies don't align with each other.) 

✅ How to deal with complete strangers: Just as their lack of interest in connecting with you doesn't necessarily mean they're bad people, your indifference to their existence isn't an implication that you're morally deplorable. Acknowledge the fact that Allah the Most Loving didn't select them to be a part of your circle. 

7📨 People who are like mirrors but turned into shattered pieces of glass when the trust between you was destroyed. (Example↪️ Former friends whom you thought you could trust or ex-friends who abandoned you as prideful ego prevented them from accepting your apology.) 

✅ After three courageous attempts of trying to reconcile with them, stop forcing yourself to fix something that is irrevocably broken. Admit, with rewarding Sabr/patience, that what happened occurred according to Allah's Will, and nothing on earth can take place if Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala doesn't want it. Confidently learn from your mistakes. Don't repeat them with others. 

Understand that people coming to your life only for them to exit after some time is an important reminder that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala is the Only One Whom we can rely on at all times.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638 

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is a mirror to his faithful brother. He protects him against loss and defends him behind his back." 

Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, 'The believer is a mirror to his brother. If he sees something wrong in him, he should correct it.' 

Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 239 

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/note-allah-never-leaves-let-people-come.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-as-long-as-we-have-allahs-love-we.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-what-you-can-do-when-you-discover.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-theres-always-something-to-learn.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-how-to-move-on-from-broken.html 

Tips: What Many INTJ Personality Types Would Regard As Toxic

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: As an INTJ personality type, when do you regard somebody as "toxic" or not worthy of befriending? And how do you avoid toxic people? 

📝 Answer: I consider some individuals toxic when... 

1] More than three times they've proven to be unreliable, unhelpful, uncooperative, untruthful, and unclear with their statements or promises. 

2] I caught them at least twice cowardly criticizing certain people behind their backs while gossiping seems to be an obnoxious activity they enjoy. 

3] Spending time on solitary tasks (like reading, researching, and listening to some Islamic lectures), while trusting Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, is more enjoyable than trying to maintain shallow convos with them, specifically if there's a language barrier and they tend to misunderstand me mostly. 

📨 Avoiding toxic people for Allah's sake involves: 

1) Minimizing unnecessary interactions with them online and offline. Never stalking their social media accounts nor going out of my way to occasionally check how they're doing. 

2) Not giving them the reaction they desire whenever they'd misbehave or act deplorably. Ignoring their ignorant acts as much as possible, almost in the same way that mature lions wouldn't bother chasing bored flies for buzzing noisily. 

3) Having no interest in visiting their house or office even if it is only a few steps away. If there's a need to interact with them, I'd speak very briefly, in a serious no-nonsense manner. You know that an INTJ doesn't perceive you as a potential friend if they can't laugh at your jokes or they're uninterested in joking around with you. 

If a person's vibes make you uncomfortable, as if you worry that anytime they could do or say something (such as backbiting) which would displease Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, it's better to keep your distance from them for Allah's sake as much as you can.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-how-most-intj-personality-types.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-choosiness-of-most-intjs-when-it.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/note-how-most-intj-personality-types.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-well-you-handle-toxic-people-based-on-your-personality-type/ 

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-important-sincerity-is-to-each-personality-type/

Note: Combining And Shortening Obligatory Prayers Can Be Done When Traveling Long Distances

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: Is it permissible to combine the prayers together when you're working due to the shortness of the day? For example, praying Salat Adh-Dhuhr with Salat Al-'Asr?

📝 Answer: No, it is not permissible. Take five to ten minutes, then go and pray somewhere. Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala has made all of the earth a place of purification and prayer. You can purify yourself (perform wudhu / ablution) and you can pray anywhere on earth. So find a place, except for the laboratories (bathrooms) and toilets. 

Find a place, a room, or closet somewhere, whether you're at school or college, or whether you're at work, or wherever you are, find somewhere, go to the parking lot and pray. Who's going to stop you from praying? Go next to your car or in between two cars and make Salah. Take your prayer mat. If some people tell you that you can't pray in this place because it's an open area, where there are people going in and out of the main office or any building, then go to the car park and pray. Don't be embarrassed. 

(Allah the Almighty will Inn-sha-Allah reward you for good deeds you strive to do sincerely for His sake.) 

If you're on the motorway, go to a service station, keep a prayer mat in your car, take it out and pray. Let the people see how devoted we are to Islam, and of course we show our devotion to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala first and foremost that we worship Him when He has called us to worship Him at the (designated) times which He has called upon us to worship Him. 

📑 From one of the talks of brother Abu Khadeejah Abdul-Waahid  https://abukhadeejah.com/ 

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The first action for which a servant of Allah will be held accountable on the Day of Resurrection will be his prayers. If they are in order, he will have prospered and succeeded. If they are lacking, he will have failed and lost. If there is something defective in his obligatory prayers, then Allah the Almighty will say: 'See if My servant has any voluntary (Sunnah) prayers that can complete what is insufficient in his obligatory prayers.' The rest of his deeds will be judged the same way." 

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 413 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://youtu.be/CT2Bsoe0FFI

Tips: As A Muslim Wife, Don't Be Petty And Insecure

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Seven examples of how to respond to your husband's misconduct so you don't come off as a petty, overly sensitive, and insecure wife: 

1] When your husband lets a male relative of his, friend or colleague take over the front seat while driving: 

✅ Instead of scolding your spouse about how you should be sitting next to him in the car because you're his wife, try to understand that maybe the reason why he wants this guy to be seated beside him is so he doesn't have to stare at you from the backseat or so he can assist your husband with looking at the road and helping with the directions. 

2] When your husband sits on some clothes which you placed on the chair, couch, bed or sofa while he seems preoccupied with answering text messages on his phone: 

✅ Understand that perhaps he didn't notice your clothing or laundry as he was busy with his cellphone, and even if he did it on purpose you can easily pull the items out from him, kindly requesting him to budge a bit without instigating unnecessary drama. 

3] When your husband takes some food from your plate or bowl after he completed his own meal: 

✅ Instead of angrily telling him to hunt for leftovers from somebody else or to quit overeating, realize he's probably not yet full. So encourage him to have as many bites as he likes or allow him to consume what you can't finish if you're actually trying to lose some weight. 

4] When your husband starts eating before you for the nth time or leaves the dining table while you're still having lunch / dinner: 

✅ Don't make it a big deal. Seriously, a lot of guys get annoyed when a woman acts too childish and clingy expecting her husband to be near her 24/7. 

5] If your husband arrives home from a long trip without bringing anything special, souvenirs, or exotic edibles: 

✅ Thank Allah the Almighty that your spouse at least arrived safely. Don't expect your other half to gratify you all the time, particularly if he is temporarily struggling financially. 

6] If your husband went to a park, resort, restaurant, mall or tourist attraction with some of his relatives, kids or colleagues without informing you: 

✅ Put yourself in his shoes. Maybe he didn't invite you because he knows you already had other plans and more important tasks to do, or one of his escorts asked him to leave you out on that occasion as they wanted to focus on spending quality time with him specifically. If he was attempting to indirectly signal that he's upset about something you did recently, try to have a calm discussion with him at the most appropriate timing - when he's not tired, sleepy, stressed out, hungry or working. 

7] If your husband suddenly answers your questions in a curt or furious tone: 

✅ Keep calm for Allah's sake. Apply empathy and patiently analyze why he's unnaturally grumpy. His irritability could be a result of stress at work, he received bad news, or he had a quarrel with an employee or client etc. Rather than worsening the dilemma, give him some space or do something creative to improve his inner state. 

Your husband, after your dear parents, is one of the people on earth who deserve your altruistic love for Allah's sake, patience, and understanding. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi

Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātih 5/2125 

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe. The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/tips-seven-things-which-inspire-your.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/note-patiently-understand-and-empathize.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/tips-three-common-mistakes-which-some.html