Note: Can An INTJ Personality Type Feel "Lonely"?

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: Do you, as an INTJ personality type, ever feel lonely? What is your secret to being very selective when it comes to choosing your close friends?

📝 Answer: Sometimes I do feel lonesome when there are certain topics I wish to discuss, ideas I'm willing to share, dreams which I'd like to have interpreted, questions that need to be asked, some doubts to be clarified, news I want to analyze or stuff I could rant about but realize there's no individual yet who can be counted as genuinely trustworthy, who isn't preoccupied with a multitude of responsibilities, and who won't misunderstand what I'm trying to convey. Alhamdulillah what I usually do when there's an urge to chat with somebody is I say some Du'as (supplicate to Allah the All-Knowing) or find comfort in reading some pages from the Noble Qur'an while hoping to attain rewards for every letter that's recited. Other times I read some articles or books, research online, listen to Islamic lectures including recorded Friday sermons / Jumuah Khutbahs on YouTube and browse around websites which promote self-confidence and self-development as a Muslim. 

From the reasons why I am rather choosy when it comes to building friendships and maintaining contact: 

1] I don't want to waste time, money, feelings, energy and words on those who pretend to be whom they aren't and who may secretly despise me in any way. To ensure their overall well-being and safety, lambs in general wouldn't mingle with wolves nor would birds build their nests nearby snakes. 

2] It doesn't make sense for a dedicated Muslim, who aims to be closer to Allah the Most Loving, to connect with people whose bad manners and negative influence act as obstacles to attaining Allah's Love. Skilled mountaineers would avoid climbing on feeble rocks and slippery surfaces to prevent falling. Nothing valuable can be gained from staying connected with individuals who are incapable of granting support, assistance and commitment. 

3] Being affiliated with the wrong circle of friends can lead to trouble in this fleeting world and the next. The less you socialize with toxic people, the farther you are from unnecessary stress, flattering those who are unworthy of your compliments, and collecting people's sins through futile gossiping.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said: "A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."

Source: Rawdat Al-‘Uqalā 56 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/poem-intjs-and-infjs-enjoy-their.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-choosiness-of-most-intjs-when-it.html 

https://high5test.com/intj-strengths-weaknesses/

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-to-find-your-tribe-based-on-your-personality-type/

https://bestpersonalitytests.com/16-personality-types/

Tips: Five Factors Which Can Strengthen Friendship Between Muslims

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Five factors which can strengthen love for Allah's sake and friendship between Muslims, and why not everybody is capable of applying them: 

1🌼 Regularly giving each other gifts on special occasions like Eid or on random moments, whether it's something they can eat, keep, share, wear, or make good use of. Kind advice, honest compliments or a heartfelt poem you've written may also be counted as gifts which you can generously give for Allah's sake.

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Give each other gifts and you will love each other."

Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 594

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Ibn Hajar 

📛 Why some people neglect or fail to apply this principle: 

1] Financial struggles or constraints can make it difficult for some individuals to be good at gift-giving. 

2] Some of them have a way of thinking that they won't give you anything until you've first given them something which they actually like. 

3] Ever since they were kids they were probably trained to be selfish and miserly. 

2🌼 Frequently exchanging warm greetings, friendly handshakes and salaams.

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "You will not enter Paradise until you have faith and you will not have faith until you love each other. Shall I show you something that, if you did, you would love each other? Spread peace (greetings of salaam) between yourselves."

Source: Sahih Muslim 54

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

📛 Why some people neglect or fail to apply this principle: 

1] They may be ignorant or not aware yet of the virtues and rewards of taking initiative to say "as-salaamu 'alaikum". 

2] Some of them tend to be sulky and aloof, unwilling to socialize, whenever they're going through stress and tough times. 

3] Those with social anxiety and low self-esteem could refrain from saying salaams because they fear that you won't respond to them and feeling humiliated is something they're trying to avoid. 

3🌼 Visiting one another or spending time outdoors together for Allah's sake whenever possible.

📖 'Ubadah Ibn As-Saamit RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Allah the Almighty said: 'My love is a right upon those who love each other for My sake. My love is a right upon those who visit each other for My sake. My love is a right upon those who sit together for My sake. My love is a right upon those who maintain relations for My sake.'"

Source: Musnad Ahmed 21575

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut 

📛 Why some people neglect or fail to apply this principle: 

1] Both friends have very busy schedules or the timings when they are available to mingle conflict with each other. 

2] Some friends currently live too far or don't have enough budget for transportation to visit whomever they like whenever they want. 

3] Both friends are extremely introverted or too lazy to pay each other frequent visits, and maintaining connection online is sufficient for their friendship to continue. 

4🌼 Being humble or confident enough to tell your friends you love them for Allah's sake.

📖 Al-Miqdam Ibn Ma'd Yakrib RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, "When one of you loves his brother, let him know."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2392

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Suyuti 

📛 Why some people neglect or fail to apply this principle: 

1] Some are afraid of rejection or they assume that you may not like them in the same manner as they care about you. 

2] Those who are still unsure if they truly love you for Allah's sake may abstain from declaring "I love you" to avoid being cheesy or "fake". 

3] Shyness may prevent them from telling you they love you for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, so the only way they prove their affection is by staying friends with you and mentioning you regularly in their loving Du'as/supplications. 

5🌼 Faithfully helping one another to become better Muslims and supporting each other with sincere intentions.

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or is being oppressed." It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, we help the oppressed, but how do we help an oppressor?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "By seizing his hand (by stopping him from oppressing)."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 2312 

Sahih Muslim 2584

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📛 Why some people neglect or fail to apply this principle: 

1] They probably prefer to focus on their own progress and development, instead of trying to interfere with others' lives and choices. 

2] They may be unaware of the abundant rewards of providing assistance to fellow Muslims.

3] Jealousy, inferiority complex, or unresolved resentment may be the reason why some individuals refuse to help you out, as they don't want to see you doing better than them in any way.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/poem-what-makes-true-friend.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-some-questions-to-ask-yourself-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/note-some-factors-which-could-prevent.html 

Note: Those With True Confidence Are Not Arrogant And Insecure

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ One factor that can distinguish between arrogant individuals and healthily confident people is the ability to be of service to others. Arrogant people think too highly of themselves that they assume offering assistance or support to any community is beneath them. From their unreasonable expectations are to be treated like royal family with imaginary crowns of self-entitlement and to be greeted almost always by anyone who comes across them, instead of taking the initiative to greet others first once in a while. Oftentimes their arrogance is what prevents them from making effort to understand or sympathize with people.

• Some examples of statements which arrogant individuals may likely say:

"I'm the one with the most cash in this group. So I get to decide where we go, whether you like it or not."

"That Muslim is so lost, she'll "never" be guided."

"Look at what they're wearing. Is that all they can afford? So sad."

"It's your fault the marriage didn't last long. You're such a coward for not insisting on staying."

"No way am I forgiving them for what they said. From now on we're not even related."

Arrogance also keeps one from recognizing the truth, even after all the facts and evidences have been presented. So it's not surprising to note that arrogant people find it too difficult to admit their mistakes, apologize, and rectify solvable problems. If you're having a debate with some arrogant theorists on how a watermelon is a fruit, they'll probably insist that watermelons are mystically underwater creatures with wings simply to disagree with you, emphasizing their gigantic ego which acts as an obstacle to acknowledging the obvious truth.

📖 Abdullah ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise." Someone said, "But a man loves to have beautiful clothes and shoes." The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on the people."

Source: Sahih Muslim 91

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-avoid-kibrarrogance.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-what-real-arrogance-is-and-what-it.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-insecure-often-misunderstand.html 

Tips: Seven Ways To Be Respectful Towards Your Husband

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Seven ways to be respectful towards your husband: 

1] Don't wait for him to do a favor in order for you to treat him with respect. Avoid telling yourself "I won't respect him until he proves to be compassionate and romantic first." Respect the man whom Allah the Almighty selected as your other half and soulmate because it's a privilege to do so as his faithful, grateful, patient, contented and loyal wife. 

2] Avoid hurting his feelings and embarrassing him as much as possible, particularly in front of his family whom you should treat with courtesy similarly. If he commits a mistake which needs rectification, advise him gently when there's no prying audience. 

3] When he arrives from work or some social gathering, refrain from instantly interrogating him and questioning him as if he's still a young child who needs to be supervised 24/7. Continue trusting Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala Who sees all the actions of His servants and Who knows how to justly deal with His creation.

4] Avoid being obnoxiously nosy. Know the difference between asking your husband certain questions because you genuinely care about his well-being, and searching through his phones due to suspicion or bad suggestions from our enemy shaytan about him. 

5] Master the art of being an empathic listener. Occasionally give your husband loving eye contact whenever he speaks, listen to him attentively, and resist the urge to interrupt him when he's talking. 

6] Be quick to defend his name online and offline whenever some people criticize him. Enthusiastically mention his admirable qualities and innumerable favors which he has done if he's being gossiped about for whatever reason. Be like his staunch attorney and trustworthy friend whom he can always confide in.

7] Avoid mishandling his belongings and misusing the money that he provides you. Don't spend his wealth in ways which would upset him, and as long as he doesn't command you to disobey Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, don't oppose his instructions nor argue with him in front of your child/children. 

If you're unable to satisfy your husband in one aspect, allow him to have his other needs met by not preventing him from remarrying. 

Inn-sha-Allah you'll receive more of Allah's Love and blessings for striving to be respectful towards your Muslim husband.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 4252

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi

Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātih 5/2125

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/note-for-allahs-sake-speak-to-your.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/poem-tips-on-how-to-respect-your-husband.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-five-mistakes-that-muslim-wife.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-five-signs-that-your-husband-does.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/tips-what-kind-of-co-wife-would-you-be.html

Tips: Advice To Those Who Oftentimes Feel Lonely

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: What advice can you give young Muslims regarding coping with loneliness while their parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles have passed away and they struggle to connect with individuals who are around their age?

📝 Answer: 1] Firmly believe that we are never truly alone, since our Creator Allah the Almighty hears and sees us at all times. Two of Allah's Angels are also nearby, observant and ready to record our actions, one on the right and another on the left side. 

2] Finding it challenging to make friends with the people whom Allah the Most Wise destined that we would meet may be from Allah's trials. While some are tested with affluence, others are tested with poverty or financial struggles, and while the faith/Imaan of some Muslims is being examined through fame and popularity, others are being tested by the inability to fit in with the people they surround. Aim to pass this test by striving to stay patient for Allah's sake, feeling contented with Allah's Love and Guidance. 

3] Consider solitude as an actual blessing in disguise, specifically if it means being protected from 1) socializing with the wrong kind of friends whose interests mostly prevent you from being close to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, 2) befriending untrustworthy individuals who secretly envy you and desire to see you fail in both worlds, or 3) affiliating yourself with misguided groups which in the long run would impact you negatively. 

4] Understand that you're not the only human being on earth who oftentimes feels lonely. Loneliness usually occurs when you remain idle for long periods away from your duties towards our Creator Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and instead of trying to attain peace by serving Allah the Most Loving you expect to find optimum joy in Allah's flawed servants who are full of worries and problems to solve. 

5] Keep yourself busy sincerely doing righteous deeds which can elevate your status, with Allah's Will, in Jannah Paradise. The more you read from the Noble Qur'an and the more authentic Islamic knowledge you acquire for Allah's sake, the stronger your faith/Imaan gets and the less prone you are to being affected by unpleasant emotions. 

6] Acknowledge the fact that anything in this world which makes you cry and smile is temporary. So don't be surprised if some individuals whom you thought would support you would depart eventually. Know that everlasting happiness, pure bliss not contaminated with what's haraam/forbidden, can be enjoyed in Jannah Paradise. 

7] It is possible for a Muslim who is "friendless" to be loved by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and meant for Jannatul Ferdaus. It is also possible that a number of celebrities are destined to join the inhabitants of hell/jahannam, if Allah the Most Just doesn't forgive them, despite their large following and supportive fans. Your true value as a living being isn't determined by how many people regard you as their friend. Your heart and sincere efforts to please Allah the Most Kind are what can measure your worth, and your good deeds are the ones to accompany you even after each person who claims to love you leaves the cemetery. 

Allah the Almighty knows best.

~•~ 

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Three things follow a deceased person (to the person's grave). Two of them return and one remains. His family, his wealth, and his deeds follow him. His family and wealth return, but his deeds remain (with the dead in their graves)."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6149 

Sahih Muslim 2960

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said: "A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."

Source: Rawdat Al-‘Uqalā 56 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-when-youre-contented-with-allahs.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-advice-to-deal-with-loneliness-or.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/tips-eleven-actions-that-can-with.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-what-you-can-do-when-you-discover.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-advice-to-muslim-reverts-and-those.html