Tips: Some Reasons Why Some People Can't Compliment

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📝 Seven reasons why a person (whether they're a relative, friend, schoolmate, teacher or colleague etc.) so far has never complimented you about anything - they are incapable of sharing with you words which are kind and uplifting: 

1🔹 They themselves until now have never received certain compliments, not even from their parents. If an insecure individual has never been told they look handsome or beautiful, what makes you assume they'll readily give away compliments on others' appearance with confidence? 

2🔹 They're undeniably guilty of intense envy. Someone who envies you for whatever reason would find it awfully challenging to say something nice to you or about you.

3🔹 They fail to understand the concept of kindness probably due to ignorance and/or lousy upbringing.

4🔹 Perhaps whatever you think they should be complimenting on appears average or nothing new to them because they've seen something similar already or numerous times. Whether they're the sort of person who doesn't feel "impressed" easily or they expected a lot more from you, always remind yourself that we're here to please Only Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala instead of expecting approval from fellow servants.

5🔹 If they generally struggle with social anxiety disorder or extreme shyness, it can be very difficult for them to verbally express their thoughts, feelings and opinions.

6🔹If they're actual narcissists, it's not a surprise that they tend to be so selfish when it comes to sincerely complimenting and spreading good vibes. They refuse to compliment you since they believe that you should be the one to soothe their agitated ego.

7🔹 Simply put they don't want to appear as though they're "flirting" with you or they don't want to seem questionable, inappropriate or manipulative.

📖 Abdullah Ibn Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam was upon the pulpit mentioning charity and abstaining from begging. The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The upper hand is better than the lower hand. The upper hand is the one that gives and the lower hand is the one that takes."

Source: Sahih Bukhari 1362 Sahih Muslim 1033

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Do not belittle any good deed, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2626

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Charity is due upon every joint of the people for every day upon which the sun rises. Justly reconciling two people is charity. Helping a man with his animal (or vehicle, means of transportation) and lifting his luggage upon it is charity. A kind word is charity. Every step that you take towards the mosque (Masjid) is charity, and removing harmful things from the road is charity."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 2989, Sahih Muslim 1009

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/04/poem-take-it-as-compliment-when-jealous.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/05/tips-how-to-deal-with-people-whose.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/09/poem-tired-of-jealous-people-treating.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/01/note-indicators-of-jealousy-on-social.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-stay-kind-in-spite-of-unkind-people.html 

Tips: Advice On Dealing With Narcissists Who Try To Make You Feel "Jealous" Of Them

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: As an INTJ-A personality type, how do you usually deal with insecure individuals trying their utmost to make you feel "jealous" of them?

📝 Answer: Alhamdulillah, since I truly believe that Allah the Most Wise is the One Who gives what He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala wants to whom He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala wills from among His creation and there's always wisdom behind what He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala destines, I can confidently confirm that envy is a pathetic feeling which I don't allow myself to act on, particularly if it undoubtedly indicates that an envious person is undeniably discontented with themselves. 

When I sense that some emotionally disturbed individuals are desperately doing what they can to make me "envy" whatever they assume is "enviable": 

1. ...I intentionally refrain from giving them full attention, so I never visit any of their social media accounts after their initial discovery nor do I give them proper eye contact whenever they're around. So if a shopper for some strange reason wants me to "envy" them, I simply focus on my own items bought and don't bother taking a single glimpse at their purchases nor nosily gaze for more than a millisecond at whatever they're wearing. 

And if a troublesome acquaintance, known for frequently attempting to make me feel as "terribly jealous" as they are, wishes that I notice their new hairdo, I actively abstain from saying anything positive or negative about it.

There's a massive difference between kindly complimenting a Muslim for Allah's sake because you genuinely like what they have or can do, and between flattering somebody who only wants you to feel "envious" so their offended ego can be at peace.

2. ...I don't bother asking them further questions regarding whatever it is that they're trying to make me feel "jealous" about. Prolonging meaningless conversations with prideful narcissists and egoistic clowns who obtain "self-validation" from absurdly assuming you're "jealous" of them should be avoided for Allah's sake as much as possible to preserve your well-being and inner calm. 

3. ...I don't take most of their claims and statements seriously, because those who are so desperate to make you "envy" their lives probably likewise struggle with intense jealousy from time to time, and anyone prone to destructive envy is typically untrustworthy. 

Whenever someone tries to make you feel "jealous"...

1✅ Stay unaffected and let them know you are absolutely uninterested in their idiocies while you're fully aware of their insecurities. 

2✅ Never regard them as potential friends or confidants.

3✅ Even if they sometimes gossip about you or narrate to you about something, understand that they're likely inventing lies which don't always require feedback or immediate reaction from you.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Look at those below you and do not look at those above you, for it is the best way not to belittle the favors of Allah (The Almighty)."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6125

Sahih Muslim 2963

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of envy, for it erases good deeds just as fire devours wood or grass."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4903

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Suyuti

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith and envy do not combine within a (true believer) believing servant."

In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith (Imaan) are never combined in the heart of a (real Muslim) servant."

Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://www.salafisounds.com/ten-evil-consequences-of-envy-jealousy-by-abu-khadeejah-abdul-wahid/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/06/poem-shame-on-you-if-you-guess-i-get.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/12/tips-how-some-intjs-deal-with-jealousy.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/tips-3-things-that-intj-personality.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/10/note-checklist-to-understand-why-lot-of.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/06/poem-what-to-expect-when-many-insecure.html 

Tips: Different Ways To Respond When Told "You Stink" Or "You Smell Bad"

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📑 A number of ways to confidently respond when somebody claims "you smell bad", "you reek", "you're stinky", "you stink", "why do you give off so much stench today?" etc.

✅ ...if you can sense that they're genuinely concerned about you and don't want you appearing bad in front of others:-

1🔹 "Yeah I know. I actually bathed today but I tend to perspire a lot especially when I feel stressed or anxious about something. 

Inn-sha-Allah I'll do what I can to solve this issue. Thank you."

2🔹 "Yeah, I think it's all because of the garlic, onions and spicy food that I can't avoid sometimes." 

3🔹 "You're right, I need to bathe again or change clothes after this insightful conversation."

4🔹 "True. I agree with you. What advice can you offer regarding this body odor problem?" 

5🔹 "Really? I didn't know it was that serious. Thank you for pointing it out." 

6🔹 "Did you know, I actually make myself stink a lot on purpose to keep unpleasant people away from me. On a scale of one to ten, how well do you think my strategy is working?" 

7🔹 "Yes, I admit I struggle with hygiene at times. No human being is flawless. Can you share some tips concerning this crisis?"

☑️ ...if you can tell that they are being rude or trying to purposely offend you because they're either bored while their parents sadly failed at educating them about good etiquettes or their rudeness is their way of coping with their intense feelings of distressful envy towards you:-

1🔹 "Wow. Do you always walk around nosily sniffing bodies and evaluating how people smell? Do you get paid for being a sniffing expert?"

2🔹 "Alhamdulillah. At least you and I have something in common. Let's not feel ashamed about it, shall we."

3🔹 "Call me nasty or disgusting as much as you like, and I still won't get affected. Don't act like you never sweat. You know very well that you yourself aren't entirely perfect." 

4🔹 "Okay. Thanks for reminding me. Do you grant me the permission to remind you to fix your awful manners and ugly personality?"

5🔹 "Interesting info. Thanks for letting me know. Do you smell like musk or fragrant flowers 24/7 also?" 

6🔹 "Are you saying that because you sincerely care about me and want me to continue being better than you at a lot of things? Or are you saying it to confirm that you're incredibly jealous of me since you witness that I'm better than you at a lot of things? Which one is it, dearie?"

7🔹 "At least in my opinion it's not as toxic as your bad vibes and poor upbringing."

Or patiently smile and remind yourself to avoid being around such types of individuals in the future, not wanting to mingle unnecessarily with those who can't control their tongues and unreliable emotions.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever believes in Allah (The Almighty) and the Last Day (the Day of Judgement), let him speak goodness or remain silent. Whoever believes in Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) and the Last Day, let him honor his neighbor. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his guest."

In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, "Let him not harm his neighbor."

And in another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Let him uphold family ties."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5672

Sahih Muslim 47

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe. The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut  

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah (The Almighty) than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://abukhadeejah.com/your-speech-follows-up-on-you-it-pursues-you-and-it-holds-you-to-account-shaikh-salih-al-fawzan/

https://abukhadeejah.com/how-to-ask-allah-for-wellbeing-safety-security-in-these-difficult-times/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/07/tips-be-tough-and-thick-skinned-for.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-advice-on-how-not-to-get-offended.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-three-tips-on-how-not-to-be-overly.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/07/tips-nine-comebacks-when-insecure.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-wisdom-is-in-knowing-when-to-speak.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/04/tips-5-things-to-avoid-when-you.html

Poem: There's Always A Reason Why Allah The Most Wise Doesn't Want Certain Friendships To Continue

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

✅ It's a blessing in disguise to gladly leave behind 

Five kinds of ex-friends who shouldn't be part of your life: 

The arrogant and misguided who despise advice 

While their ugly pride makes them assume they're always "right". 

Mostly drama is produced from these deluded types.

~•~

Two: Immature "adults" who act like a bratty child, 

And they expect you to comply with their wants and likes - 

These narcissists don't deserve to be part of your life 

If they're experts at demanding only what they like, 

There's no connection; it's one-sided - avoid these types.

~•~

Three: If they're older than you yet it's clear they're unwise, 

Deprived of good manners, and whenever they decide

They let feelings control them and let their values slide. 

Respect yourself enough to stay detached from their plight. 

Stress often arises from wasting time with these types.

~•~

Four: For Allah's sake as well wave to these clowns goodbye -

Those obsessed with irony and enjoy telling lies, 

Not taking their faith seriously, they fail to inspire 

You to be a better Muslim - they're like futile flies 

Whose absence brings forth peace and presence is not worthwhile.

Be kind to yourself through caution when nearby these types.

~•~

Five: Those guilty of more than one trait which uglify

One's morals - reentry to your life must be denied.

Sometimes when Allah wants you closer to Paradise, 

Allah may remove some souls to shield you from their vice.

No regret. Thank Allah for such blessing in disguise.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Love whom you love moderately, perhaps he will become hateful to you someday. Hate whom you hate moderately, perhaps he will become your beloved friend someday."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1997

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is not stung twice from the same hole."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5782

Sahih Muslim 2998

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

https://abukhadeejah.com/only-true-friends-and-righteous-companions-will-benefit-you/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-stay-connected-to-allah-and-youll.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-as-long-as-we-have-allahs-love-we.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-meaning-of-door-slam-to-muslim.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-how-to-move-on-from-broken.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/05/note-never-expect-meaningful.html 

https://abukhadeejah.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/20-ways-to-avoid-Shaytan-and-his-plots.pdf

Poem: Dear Husband, Even If I'm Not Perfect, Don't Divorce Me Please

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💚 Dear husband, if at times you think "What's in it for me? 

What do I gain from staying married for many years

To one who's not impressive in her spousal duties, 

Who's busy when I'm free, and when she's free I'm busy, 

And she never complains if I've been gone for some weeks?"

~•~

Dear husband, the man whom Allah the Most Kind wisely 

Chose for me as my soulmate, other half and hubby, 

Seven benefits of staying married patiently, 

To me, one of your female cousins and first wifey: 

One: I love you for Allah's sake, truly, sincerely,

~•~

And by loving you for Allah, my faith has increased. 

Two: I'm not a gold-digger. Your job and your money

Are not what I'm after. I wish we'll together reach

Jannatul Ferdaus for striving to pass eagerly

Allah's tests in this world which were all temporary.

~•~

Three: I'm the type of wife who welcomes polygyny. 

Even if it seemed you like a co-wife more than me, 

I'd still love you for Allah's sake with fierce loyalty.

Four: Alhamdulillah, I can very easily

Talk and write about you through Du'as and poetry.

~•~

Five: If ever you got in trouble, I'd readily 

Defend you if I could like an earnest attorney. 

And if I were richer, more stable financially, 

I'd spend on you more, on your behalf do charity, 

And take part in paying your children's tuition fees.

~•~

Six: Although I may not be perceived as visibly

Appealing with hourglass figure, not fully "ideal", 

I find you handsome, and you're charismatic, to me. 

I can promise by Allah, on you I'd never cheat, 

And while I'm loyal, I'm okay with polygyny.

~•~

Seven: Nearly day and night I mention lovingly

Your name in a lot of prayers and before I sleep. 

Even if you were employed in another country, 

And even if we saw each other just once a year, 

I'd still love you for Allah's sake with fierce loyalty.

~•~

So don't divorce me, dear husband; don't divorce me please. 

If ever you feel bored, add another, don't delete, 

Since I believe that divorce brings more stress, misery 

And the sort of regret which greets you recurrently.

And to see you sad is something that would sadden me.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter (Jannah) Paradise from any gate she wishes."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibban 4252

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Jabir RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, shaytan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: 'I have done this and this.' shaytan says: 'you have done nothing.' Another one says: 'I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife.' shaytan embraces him and he says: 'you have done well!'"

Source: Sahih Muslim 2813

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://abukhadeejah.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Righteous-Wife-P1-WEB-7.3-Print-Complete.pdf

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-my-brief-love-story-and-allahs.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-what-happens-when-allah-most-wise.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/09/poem-if-divorce-was-door-id-never-want.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-demerits-of-divorce.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-if-my-husband-wanted-divorce-id.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/10/poem-divorce-is-permissible-but-its.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-seven-reasons-why-divorce-is-more.html