Note: Five Reasons Why I Choose Not To Spy On My Husband's Cellphones

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Five reasons why I choose not to spy on my dear husband's cellphones even if he leaves them unattended at times and lets me know I can use them anytime I like: 

1] I trust Allah the Almighty and believe that He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala will be the One to deal with His servants in the way that He knows is most just. I wasn't born to monitor and scrutinize every one of my husband's moves. 

2] Out of respect for my dear husband, I want him to sense that I perceive him as trustworthy just as I would love it if he viewed me as loyal and dependable. If I wouldn't enjoy being frequently interrogated by him concerning who I'm communicating with whenever he notices me using the cellphone, why would I do that to him? If I don't want my husband and I constantly suspecting each other, why would I bother snooping around his personal belongings as if I can't trust him at all? 

It's usually a sign of disrespect if you make it obvious to somebody that you regard them as absolutely unreliable.

3] I already know that some of my husband's patients, colleagues and acquaintances are females who may try to contact him now and then. Regardless of the reasons behind their attempts to reach out, I believe that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala will be the One to wisely deal with them and my husband regarding their intentions and decisions. My husband is already adult enough to distinguish between right and wrong, so I don't need to keep supervising him as if I'm playing the role of a terrifyingly strict and overbearing grandma. 

4] Since I'm an introvert (INTJ 1w9) who's very selective with regard to who I pay attention to and what sort of content I willingly absorb online and offline, I do what I can to avoid peeking on my husband's cellphones to stay away from potential drama, wasting valuable energy browsing around incomprehensible data, and the urge to interrogate my beloved husband as if he's an undisciplined child guilty of pickpocketing.

5] I prefer to focus on my husband's good side and appreciate his commendable qualities than to recall his mistakes and worry about the things he could be doing incorrectly. This is one of those few circumstances in which "ignorance is bliss" can become applicable. To maintain inner contentment and peace of mind, you don't need to be aware of every single detail which your husband has done in the past and present. If your husband truly strives to worship Only Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, his firm faith/Imaan and Taqwa can 

Inn-sha-Allah prevent him from carrying out regrettable acts in the future. 

If on the contrary he gets caught at one point doing something which most women would find offensive, instead of instantly demanding a divorce, muster up the courage to discuss the issue with fairness, clarity and logic, and intelligently come up with a solution which you believe can 

Inn-sha-Allah bring you and your other half closer to Allah's Love, even if the ultimate decision is for you to patiently continue loving your husband for Allah's sake while he legally remarries after agreeing that he'll try his best to treat his multiple wives as fairly as possible.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi

Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A woman is married for four things: Her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman otherwise you will be a loser."

Sahih Al-Bukhari 5090

In-book reference: Book 67 Hadith 28

USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 27

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://abukhadeejah.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Righteous-Wife-P1-WEB-7.3-Print-Complete.pdf

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/tips-as-muslim-wife-dont-be-petty-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-three-reasons-why-loyal-and.html

Tips: Checklist To Determine How Trustworthy You Can Be

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📝 Checklist to determine how trustworthy you actually are or strive to be: 

1] You're generally not greedy nor self-entitled. When you notice there are several items being distributed for free, you don't excitedly go after them nor do you feel so upset if you couldn't receive those freebies. You are contented with the blessings which Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala chose to grant you and at times you believe that others may require certain things a lot more than you do. [    ]

2] When you have a surplus of something, you're willing to share some of it with a number of your loved ones instead of keeping it all selfishly to yourself. And when sharing, you do so only to please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, not wanting anything specific in return from Allah's servants. [    ] 

3] You try your best to make sure that whenever you borrow an amount of money or any item from someone, you return it in its good condition and as promptly as you can, rather than intentionally delaying it or acting as if you forgot about it. Having debts is something you're trying to avoid. [    ]

4] You intensely despise gossip and refrain from backbiting about others as much as possible. Making sarcastic jokes at the expense of another Muslim and human being is something you also don't enjoy. [    ] 

5] You're not afraid or too prideful to directly apologize when you are aware that you did something wrong or unfair. [    ] 

6] You dislike wasting time socializing with individuals who have proven to be untruthful and untrustworthy. Once you discover someone's true colors or deceitfulness, you readily dissociate yourself from their negative vibes and atrocious lies. [    ] 

7] You'd rather give frank and constructive feedback, regardless of people's emotions, when asked for your opinions than to sugarcoat your words or pretend to fancy something which you don't really find appealing. [    ]

~•~

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "You must be truthful. Verily, truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to be truthful and encourages honesty until he is recorded with Allah as a truthful person. And beware of falsehood. Verily, falsehood leads to wickedness and wickedness leads to the Hellfire. A man continues to tell lies and encourages falsehood until he is recorded with Allah as a liar."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhāri 5743 

Sahih Muslim 2607

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Ibn Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "When Allah gathers together the earlier and later generations on the Day of Resurrection, He will raise a banner for every (betrayer) treacherous person. It will be announced that this is the treachery of this person, the son of this person."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5823

Sahih Muslim 1735

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/tips-negative-qualities-which-many.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/note-signs-of-trustworthy-people.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/08/poem-dont-be-from-two-faced-hypocrites.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/08/note-eleven-things-to-do-to-avoid.html 

https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/18905/%D8%B9%D9%84%D9%89-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%86%C2%A0%D9%8A%D9%88%D8%AF%D9%8A-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%A9-%D9%88%D9%8A%D9%86%D8%B5%D8%AD-%D9%81%D9%8A-%D8%B9%D9%85%D9%84%D9%87

Poem: Are There Ways To Determine How Trustworthy A Person Is?

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📝 If you asked me, "How can I be sure that someone is 

Trustworthy? How to determine they can be trusted?" 

I would say: You can't be sure. Even Allah's Prophets ('alaihim as-salaam) 

Dealt with critics and opponents who were dishonest. 

From those who faced betrayal were Jacob and Joseph ('alaihimas salaam).

~•~

Joseph's half-siblings betrayed him as they were jealous. 

They lied to their father Jacob with selfish motives. 

If you can guarantee that some friends are devoid of 

Envy and selfishness, maybe they can be trusted, 

As long as they actively stay away from gossip.

~•~

Notice the people you talk to often - what topics

Do they discuss? Do they make fun of others' defects 

And cowardly backbite as if they are so "perfect"? 

Never trust somebody who regularly gossips 

And lacks self-control. They're pros at breaking promises.

~•~

Qualities to expect from those who can be trusted: 

They serve Only Allah and don't fear the created, 

While striving to acquire knowledge that is authentic.  

Consistent in their ethics, careful with their choices, 

And when they're wrong they're sincerely apologetic.

~•~

Being connected for many years shouldn't suggest

That a person can be trusted especially if 

They have a tendency to forget and get tempted. 

Patiently accept that most people can't be trusted. 

Remain trustworthy even if no soul trusts you yet.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Love whom you love moderately, perhaps he will become hateful to you someday. Hate whom you hate moderately, perhaps he will become your beloved friend someday."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1997

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe (not guilty of backbiting, knowingly telling lies, and deliberately committing injustice). The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. 

By the One (Allah the Almighty) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut 

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said: "A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."

Source: Rawdat Al-‘Uqalā 56

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-trust-allah-and-you-cant-feel.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/note-eleven-qualities-of-good-muslim.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/tips-three-reasons-why-most-people-cant.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/tips-negative-qualities-which-many.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/12/note-one-righteous-muslim-friend-is.html 

https://abukhadeejah.com/only-true-friends-and-righteous-companions-will-benefit-you/

Poem: I Do Not Regret My Marriage Life As It's A Gift And Trust From Allah The Most Wise

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Don't get me wrong. When I state this, I truly mean it - 

Alhamdulillah. I'm contented with my marriage, 

Satisfied with the man whom Allah has selected 

As my other half and soulmate. I don't regret it - 

Being closer to Allah is what keeps this love blessed. 

~•~

I'm contented with this marriage so much so that if 

All "marriage coaches" on earth gathered and instructed

"Leave him. There are plenty of guys out there. Don't obsess 

Over one who's too busy and by work distracted, 

Who's not around a lot and broke more than one promise.",

~•~

I'd respond with: Are you serious? You think I'm stupid 

Enough to ditch my husband for some mistakes he did 

As if I am "perfect" while he's the one defective, 

As if the next guy I marry won't be imperfect

But a sub who'll grant me all my wishes and requests? 

~•~

Are you that idiotic to guess that I said yes 

To my husband's marriage proposal to achieve bliss 

Through his wealth as if money is what brings happiness? 

I married him for Allah, and I don't regret this - 

Being closer to Allah is what keeps our love blessed. 

~•~

Even if most days of each year my husband is missed, 

Even if sympathizers can't describe him as rich, 

And even if others' "love journeys" make me "jealous", 

I won't quit on him. For Allah's sake I'm contented

With Allah's choice. This love begets blessings, not regret.

~•~

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim  

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan." 

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://abukhadeejah.com/characteristics-of-a-righteous-wife-in-light-of-the-quran-and-sunnah-part-1/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/12/poem-dont-regret-marrying-someone.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/note-no-i-dont-regret-marrying-my.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-be-patiently-persistent-in-loving.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/03/note-five-signs-that-you-are-contented.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/07/poem-dear-husband-i-want-to-see-you.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/poem-advice-for-muslim-wives-to-not.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-seven-reasons-why-divorce-is-more.html 

💚

💎

Poem: To Those Who Enjoy Gossiping About Me, I Can Tell You're Jealous

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

📝 To the bashers out there who stalk my posts frequently 

With bitterness, awareness they're guilty of envy

And eagerness to gossip and bully childishly, 

Who seem shaky when I'm nearby yet they cowardly 

Diss me in my absence so their ego is appeased: 

~•~

I can tell you're jealous. Don't deny it. It's so clear - 

Your envy is like elephants hiding nervously

Behind a leafless tree, or like a frightened monkey 

Trying to conceal itself beneath a tiny leaf. 

You're jealous, and you know it. Your rudeness makes it clear. 

~•~

Your envy is shown each time you roll your eyes at me 

When I speak or try to contribute generously

To most group conversations, and you'd appear to me 

As if you often grumble to yourself "why does she 

Feel the need to brag and prove she's better constantly?" 

~•~

It's so obvious, your exasperating jealousy, 

When you exclude me from planned gatherings purposely, 

When you break promises a lot, when you feel the need 

To point out my flaws and criticize my family, 

When you recruit more clowns to partake in your envy, 

~•~

And when I discover how you've been regularly

Talking badly about me to heal your jealousy. 

You're jealous because I'm okay with polygyny, 

My parents are educated while yours probably

Failed to teach you basic manners and integrity, 

~•~

You despise how my husband deserves my loyalty, 

How he's a doctor who owned many cars previously 

And tries his best to improve in faith and piety, 

And you envy how I don't keep him for his money

But I want him with me in Jannah eternally.

~•~

You're jealous. Even if you won't admit it, it's clear - 

Your envy - when you mention my name negatively

Or treat me rudely so your frail ego is relieved. 

Collect all my sins each time you backbite about me.

I forgive and distance myself from your misery. 

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever wrongs his brother in his honor or anything else should resolve the matter today before it cannot be resolved with gold and silver coins. If he has good deeds to his credit, they will be taken from him according to the measure of his injustice. If he has no good deeds left, he will bear the evil deeds of the one he has oppressed."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 2317

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of envy, for it erases good deeds just as fire devours wood or grass."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4903

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Suyuti

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Envy consumes good deeds just as fire burns wood. Charity (Sadaqah) extinguishes sinful deeds just as water extinguishes fire. Prayer is the light of the believer and fasting is his shield from the Hellfire."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4210

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Ibn Asakir

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith and envy do not combine within a believing servant."

In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith are never combined in the heart of a (true Muslim) servant."

Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

https://www.salafisounds.com/ten-evil-consequences-of-envy-jealousy-by-abu-khadeejah-abdul-wahid/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/10/note-checklist-to-understand-why-lot-of.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-clear-signs-of-jealous-people-even.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/07/poem-some-ways-to-detect-jealous-haters.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-advice-on-how-to-deal-with-people.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/09/poem-tired-of-jealous-people-treating.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/11/tips-to-befriend-or-to-avoid.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/poem-distance-yourself-from-jealous.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-you-handle-being-disliked-based-on-your-personality-type/