Note: More Blessings In A Polygynous Marriage

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 A woman would have to be so shallow and ignorant of Allah's legislations to invent a condition of not accepting a guy's marriage proposal unless he fully guarantees that she'll be his only wife for as long as she's alive. While it's okay for her to wish that she marries a man who is monogamous, we cannot deny the fact that Allah the Most Wise gave financially capable and responsible men the permission to marry up to four wives because:

1] The number of female population on earth without a doubt far exceeds the number of males. If all of the men were married to just one wife, there'd still be thousands of women left without a caring husband. With polygyny being permitted in Islam, single moms, widows and divorcees are given the opportunity to be part of a good Muslim family. They don't have to feel rejected, abandoned or looked down upon by guys who are not interested in marrying women who were previously married.

2] Being married to multiple wives means having more children who can become positive assets contributing to the Muslim Ummah through doing Da'wah, managing halal businesses and expanding access to Islamic resources etc.

3] Polygyny can encourage harmony within the community and enhance peaceful relations between different tribes, nationalities and racial backgrounds. Imagine a Maranao Muslim being wed to a Cebuana Muslim revert, a Tausug, a Maguindanaon, and a Kagan.

Their kids can Inn-sha-Allah learn to treat each other's tribes respectfully and cooperate together as one big happy Muslim family.

4] If the first wife is infertile or too unwell to give birth to any more babies, the husband has every right to marry another woman without divorcing his first wife. If the second wife is also incapable of bearing children, he can marry a third wife or try to adopt orphans (without falsely claiming them to be his own actual kids) together with the two wives whom Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala destined to be partnered with him.

5] Polygyny is an effective training for co-wives to eradicate despicable feelings of jealousy, insecurity and inferiority complex. By being a co-wife, a Muslimah gains inner strength, patience, resilience, deep understanding, empathy, while her heart is more beautified when she recognizes how patiently submitting to Allah's Will is more important to her than insecurely ensuring she's her husband's only lady.

You can't stop a man from wanting to have another wife if he believes that doing so is beneficial and rewarding. Nevertheless I can testify that there exists a number of men who are gladly contented with taking care of just one wife. For instance, my late father (Allah yarhamhu. Ameen.), he declined my dear mother's suggestion when she requested that he marries another woman so we have a stepmother who can look after us. Although he could afford to be married to multiple wives, he left this world contented being married to just one wife - our mother (Allah yarhamha. Ameen.).

What I'd like to point out is, Muslim women shouldn't think of polygyny as an evidence that they aren't ideal wives nor should wives in polygynous marriages feel more superior to those in a monogamous marriage. One rose in a crystalline vase looks just as beautiful as four splendid roses in a creatively designed flower pot, as long as they are consistently watered and well taken care of.

If you really must insist on being your husband's only wife, then it's possible to achieve that if you fulfill each and every one of his wishes without complaint, and you're extremely impressive that he never gets distracted by other women's varying good looks or qualities. A husband who has the full attention of his wife wouldn't require another one. His decision to remarry of course doesn't reduce his first wife's worth. In fact her value increases because she's strong enough to accept what Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala legislated in Islam and her acceptance of herself isn't tied to being her husband's only partner. She has always been whole, and having another co-wife doesn't make her incomplete in any way.

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."

Source: Sahih Ibn Ḥibbān 4252

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi

Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125

Note: Survey On Love And Marriage

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Seven questions related to love life:

1💗 When you were single, what was the perfect marriage life you dreamt of having?

Marriage with a tall handsome guy preferably of a different nationality. At one point as a preteen, I also specified wishing I would have two sons and two daughters.

2💗 How many marriage proposals did you receive back then and why did you reject them?

Several, one from a childhood friend who grew up with me where we were born in Saudi Arabia namely Dammam or Al-Khobar; I saw him like a younger brother in Islam (think of the term "friendzoned"). One from a pious Pakistani family who had an aim to memorize the Noble Qur'an; he seemed too soft and shy for me while I was the ignorant type of rebellious teen who had no idea previously about the virtues of marriage at a young age. One from a Filipino who was to reside in Madinah; he was around my height and baby-faced, while I was ignorantly judgmental back then. AstaghfurAllah Al-'Atheem. One from a Filipino living in the US but my parents (Allah yarhamhuma. Ameen.) canceled his proposal without letting me decide as they likely didn't want me to have a modernistic, materialistic and misguided lifestyle.

3💗 What's it like being married to your cousin?

Alhamdulillah it's allowed for cousins to marry each other in Islam, as the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam was married to his first cousin Zainab bint Jahsh RadhiAllahu anha. Male and female cousins are not mahrams to one another so it's not a taboo for cousin marriages to take place. It's sad how in a few communities a cousin may be attracted to another cousin yet they can't get married lawfully because they're dictated by society to wrongly assume that cousins are just like siblings when in reality that's not the case. Just because they're related in the family tree somehow doesn't make it wrong for cousins to get married. Similarly, just because tomatoes aren't sweet, this doesn't abrogate the fact that a tomato is a fruit, not vegetable.

4💗 Why do you strongly advocate and support polygyny?

If bringing back the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam is one of the main reasons to be worthy of Jannah's entry then Alhamdulillah I'm up for it. Another reason why I want my husband to be wed to up to four wives besides having more righteous children is to have co-wives who treat me like sisters or besties to me since I don't have a blood sister of my own. Ironically the second wife is currently missing in action but the doors to friendship remain open until Allah the Most Merciful guides her to being a pious niqabi Muslimah someday.

5💗 You act like polygyny is a simple project which anyone can do effortlessly. Do you have it easy?

No. If some couples find problems and get into frequent fights even in a monogamous marriage life, can you imagine the extra load of problematic issues if there are multiple wives? Polygyny means the responsible husband is duty bound to care for all his wives as fairly as he can, financially, physically and emotionally. In polygyny, each co-wife, regardless if you're the "loyal first lover", second so-called "homewrecker", third "peacemaker" or fourth "troublemaker", you constantly battle against a whirlwind of emotions from feeling lonesome when your husband is away, controlling your jealousy when he mentions the other wife's name, and getting inappropriately smug and proud when your husband arrives to spend time with you. Still, because you know the immense rewards of staying patient for Allah's sake, you love the feeling of being challenged when it comes to faith and romance. The better of co-wives is not the one who is most spoiled by the husband's attention, but the wife who perseveres in loving her spouse for Allah's sake, accepting Allah's Qadr and she holds no resentful grudges against the other wives of her husband and their children.

6💗 Is it possible to fall in love with others even when you're married?

I believe yes for some, especially when you can't help but feel that someone is so relatable to you, struggling to find peace in connecting to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and feeling as though you don't belong in this temporal Dunya as you both prefer Jannatul Ferdaus. There are souls that I like for Allah's sake yet my husband stays at the very top of the list of living humans I'm romantically in love with. Marriage is a blessing when it protects you from wanting to be involved in forbidden relationships.

Clearly it's the evil whisperings/waswaas from shaytan that destruct peaceful marriages by tempting a spouse to look for joy in the major sin adultery. When tested by this, one should remain firm, stay content with the husband whom Allah wisely selected and lower one's gaze whenever needed.

7💗 What advice can you give to couples in unhappy marriages?

You have freewill to choose between two options: You can leave that "unhappy marriage life" searching for a different one as you slightly regret leaving the spouse whom Allah the Most Wise destined you to marry. Or you can willfully change an unhappy marriage into a beautiful love story that could continue up to Jannah Paradise if you keep loving your spouse for Allah's sake patiently. One bad chapter in your marriage life shouldn't lead to the end of your romance. A strong marriage isn't one that is completely free from arguments and misunderstandings, but it's a blissful journey of lovers who fight to stay together in spite of some differences or distance.

🌻 Ibn Hibbaan narrated that Abu Hurairah RadhiAllahu anhu said that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam said: "If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’" Classed as Sahih by Al-Albaani in Saheeh Al-Jaami’ no. 660

Poem: Seek To Be Among The Seven Groups That Allah Shades

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 It was narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said,
On the Day of Judgment, that Day all await,
There are seven groups who’ll receive Allah’s Shade,
That Day when Allah questions each of His slaves.
May Allah make us prosper on that Great Day. Ameen.
~•~
First, are those Muslims who get the chance to lead
- Whether parents with kids to care for and feed,
Or rulers who strive to meet their people’s needs -
Or teachers and bosses –they’re fair, without greed,
They’re never unjust, for they know Allah sees.
~•~
Second, are those Muslims who were brought up well.
Truth they love. Lies and gossip they never tell.
They’re busy doing good deeds –never idle,
At night, they’re known for praying Qiyaam Al-Layl,
They grew up avoiding sins that lead to Hell.
~•~
Third, are those Muslim men who love the masjid,
It’s like their second home where they’re near Allah,
There they pray the five Salahs and more Sunnahs,
Recite from the Qur’an and say their Du’as,
Their faces shine brightly with every sajdah.
~•~
Fourth, are Muslims who always greet with salaam,
Muslim friends who love each other for Allah,
Who advise and strengthen each other’s Imaan,
And include one another in their Du’as,
Praying that they’ll meet again Inn-sha-Allah in Jannah.
~•~
Fifth, are striving Muslims who, in this dark age,
Remember Allah always and remain chaste,
Loyal to their spouses, know when to lower their gaze,
These Muslims never flirt –evil deeds they hate.
For Allah, they watch what they do, see and say.
~•~
Sixth, are Muslims whom Allah has given wealth,
Which they spend on things that make them close to Him -
On building mosques, Islamic schools, seeking ‘Ilm -
These Muslims you can always find them smiling,
Even a sincere smile –rewards it can bring.
~•~
Seventh, are those whose love for Allah is strong
That a thought of Allah can make us shed tears,
We long to meet Allah whom we love and fear,
In our Du’as, we pray tears erase past wrongs,
Praying that Jannah is where we will belong.

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “There are seven whom Allah will shade on a day when there is no shade but His. They are: a just ruler/leader, a youth who grew up with a love for worshiping Allah, one whose heart is attached to the mosques, two who love each other, meet each other, and depart from each other for the sake of Allah, a man who is tempted by a beautiful woman of high status but he rejects her (invitation to commit zina, a major sin), saying , ‘I fear Allah,’ one who spends in charity and conceals it so much so that his right hand does not know what his left hand has given, and one who remembered Allah in private (while saying Du'a, Dhikr or reading the Noble Qur'an) and his eyes fill up with tears.”

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 629, Sahih Muslim 1031
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

http://justsharingislam.blogspot.com/2015/03/poem-seven-groups-of-muslims-under.html?m=1

Poem: Enrich Your Heart With Islam And Allah's Love

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 The Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam), the leader of all mankind, 

Didn't live lavishly but had a simple lifestyle.

Being rich or enjoying dunya isn't a sign 

That someone is blessed or loved by Allah the Most High.

~•~

Sometimes when Allah loves you, He'll help you realize 

The reality of this world and guide you to strive, 

To accept what Allah chose, to prefer Paradise, 

And to be patient with less wealth in this fleeting life.

~•~

It's not a shame to feel poor or broke once in a while, 

When wallets get empty or there are just coins inside, 

When your fridge still has tons of gaps to be occupied,

Or on canned foods, eggs and limited rice you rely.

~•~

Remember the Prophet (SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) how he lived his noble life - 

He never overate nor costly food did he try, 

So who are we to insist we financially thrive 

And act richer than the best soul among humankind?

~•~

It's fine to enjoy halal blessings from time to time.

What's shameful is getting too attached to this short life,

Looking down on those who can't afford things that are nice, 

And sizing up people's worth by how much they've acquired.

~•~

The money that Allah sent you - spend it to be kind,

Utilize it in ways that please Allah the Most Wise:

Help the needy, the orphans, women whose husbands died,

And assist Islamic schools that aim to teach what's right.

~•~

In case you deal with financial struggles oftentimes, 

Simply always depend on Allah, patiently strive,

And of Jannah's eternal treasures yourself remind.

Smile, knowing your heart is enriched with Islam inside.

~•~

📖 Narrated `Imran bin Husain RadhiAllahu 'anhu: The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "I looked into Paradise and found that the majority of its inhabitants were from the poor people, and I looked into the Hellfire and found that the majority of its dwellers were women."

Sahih Al-Bukhari 6449

📖 'Umar ibn Al-Khattab RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I entered the room of the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam while he was lying on his side over a mat. I sat down as he drew up his lower garment and he was not wearing anything else. The mat had left marks on his side. I looked at the Prophet’s cupboard and I saw a handful of barley in a small amount, the same of mimosa leaves in the corner, and a leather bag hanging to the side. My eyes started to tear up, and the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “What makes you weep, son of Khattab?” I said, “O Prophet of Allah, why should I not cry that this mat has left marks on your side and I see little in your cupboard? Caesar and Khosrau live among fruits and springs, while you are the Messenger of Allah and His chosen one, yet this is your cupboard.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “O son of Khattab, are you not pleased that they are for us in the Hereafter and for them in the world?” I said, “Of course.”

Source: Sahih Muslim 1479

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

📖 Jabir ibn Abdullah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam passed through the market from a higher part of the city and people were looking at him from both sides. The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam passed by the carcass of a one-eared goat and he reached out to take its ear. The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Which one of you would like this for a coin?” They said, “Who among us would want it while it is worth nothing? What would we do with it?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said three times, “Would you like to have it?” They said no each time and said, “No, by Allah, if it were alive it would be defective as it only has one ear. How so if it were dead?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “By Allah, the worldly life is less important to Allah than this is to you.”

Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 962

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “The poor Muslims will enter Paradise before the rich by half of a day, the length of which is five hundred years.”

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2354

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Jabir ibn Abdullah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam took hold of my hand one day and led me to his residence. Some pieces of bread were given to him and the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam asked, “Are there any condiments?” They said, “None but some vinegar.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Verily, vinegar is an excellent condiment.” Jabir said, “I have always loved vinegar ever since I heard this from the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam.” Talha RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, “I have always loved vinegar ever since I heard this from Jabir.”

Source: Sahih Muslim 2052

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

📖 Ibn Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam would spend several nights in a row with an empty stomach, and his family would not find anything for dinner. Most of their bread was made from barley.

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2360

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Malik ibn Dinar RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam never ate to his fill of bread or meat unless he was eating with people.

Source: Al-Shamā’il Al-Muḥammadīyah 71

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “O Abu Dharr, do you say an abundance of possessions is wealth?” I said 'yes'. The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Do you say a lack of possessions is poverty?” I said 'yes.' The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam repeated this three times, then he said, “Wealth is in the heart and poverty is in the heart. Whoever is wealthy in his heart will not be harmed no matter what happens in the world. Whoever is impoverished in his heart will not be satisfied no matter how much he has in the world. Verily, he will only be harmed by the greed of his own soul.”

Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabīr 1618

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Note: At Least You Tried

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 One of the beautiful aspects about being Muslim Alhamdulillah is you earn rewards not for the outcome of a decision you made or action you've done but you are rewarded for your sincere efforts and eagerness to do good for Allah's sake. If you woke up at midnight to have a glass of water and then went back to sleep, at the same time intending to pray Sunnah Tahajjud later before the Fajr prayer, but you woke up after the Adhan was called, you still get rewarded for wanting to pray Tahajjud earlier. Allah the Most Merciful knows that you were really looking forward to praying Qiyaam Al-Layl as you habitually do.

If you were ready to reconcile with a relative who decided to discontinue all means of communication with you after an argument you've had in the past, and you were willing to reconnect for Allah's sake thereby attempting to share your phone number or address yet they pridefully rejected you again, you still get rewards for trying to maintain family ties and for striving to have patience with their mistreatment.

If you had a plan to start an Islamic support group for Muslimahs dealing with depression, and you had all the tools required to establish an active online community, but none of your friends and acquaintances showed willingness to participate in your project, 

Inn-sha-Allah you still gain rewards and obtain Allah's Love for your niyyah/intention and passionate enthusiasm in trying to contribute to the Muslim Ummah.

Whether you've succeeded or not, saw instant positive results or didn't, what's important is that you at least tried. You genuinely tried your best to do the deeds that you believe could bring you closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, and 

Inn-sha-Allah you'll be rewarded for every effort, striving and dedication.

📖 Ibn Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Verily, Allah has recorded good and evil deeds and He made them clear. Whoever intends to perform a good deed but does not do it, Allah will record it as a complete good deed. If he intends to do it and does so, Allah the Almighty will record it as ten good deeds, up to seven hundred times as much or even more. If he intends to do an evil deed and does not do it, Allah will record for him one complete good deed. If he does it, Allah will record for him a single evil deed.”

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6126, Sahih Muslim 131

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim