💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
🗒️ Question: Are you personally acquainted with any Muslimah who is a loyal wife in a polygynous marriage? What do you think is the reason behind her admirable patience in being okay with her husband remarrying?
📝 Answer: Alhamdulillah, yes, and I'm one of those contented wives who has no problem at all with polygyny. Some of the wives who are in a polygynous marriage (MashaAllah) and I've spoken to them face to face often:
1. One of my paternal cousins (of Maranao tribe). Allah the Almighty has blessed her at the moment with five or six children (?) and they're actually good friends with their older half-siblings.
2. One of the supportive moms here at Wisdom Islamic School (also of Maranao tribe). She's blessed as well by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala with five children if I'm not mistaken.
3. A Muslim revert who has stayed in Saudi Arabia for several years with her husband and many kids. I admire how she's capable of remaining amazingly patient with her husband loving his other legal wives while she manages her own halal businesses.
4. Another Muslimah revert who's blessed by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala with three sons for now (I ask Allah the Most Loving to also grant her some cute daughters in the future. Ameen.).
5. One of my childhood friends (half-Maranao half-Maguindanaon or Iranun if I'm not mistaken) whom I grew up with in eastern Saudi Arabia (Ad-Dammam and Al-Khobar). Allah the Most Kind has blessed her with five adorable girls while her co-wife (balik Islam / Muslim revert) also has three daughters. May Allah the Most Merciful bless them with at least one son at the most ideal timing. Ameen.
Why did I specify the tribes of some of those wives? Because polygyny is not common yet among Maranaos and other Filipino tribes. In fact, polygyny is a challenge which is difficult to accept by the majority of females worldwide due to most women being influenced by fluctuating emotions most of the time.
The more a Muslimah trusts Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and believes in Allah's Justice while she is more inclined to make logical decisions instead of being consistently controlled by unreliable feelings, the easier it is for her, with Allah's Will, to maintain patience as a tough co-wife regardless of her ranking - whether she's the first wife, second, third or fourth.
✅ Some probable reasons why strong wives like these do not oppose what Allah the Most Wise has legislated and made permissible for Muslim men who are financially capable and strive to be responsible:
1. They're blessed by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala with wisdom and ability to understand the countless virtues of polygyny (ta'addud).
2. They truly love their husband for Allah's sake since their love outweighs selfish ego and impatience.
3. They don't want their child/children to be far away from their father nor struggle to make a choice between residing with their mom or dad.
4. They want their status, station or level in Jannah Paradise to be elevated through patiently accepting more of Allah's Qadr/Decree in legislating Muslim men to be wed to at least four wives.
5. They're eager to observe an increase in the size of their Muslim family for Allah's sake and want their child/children to have half-siblings from the other wives/wife.
6. They wish their household to become more diverse by allowing the husband to be lawfully wed to other women of different tribes or nationalities. Polygyny being widespread in Muslim communities promotes harmony, peace and unity among various ethnic groups. Why would a Caucasian Muslim kid be discriminatory or display prejudice against people of color while he's good friends with his half-brothers and half-sisters who don't have the same skin tone? Why would a Tausug Muslim prevent his sister from marrying a new Muslim while their mother was a happy co-wife of three Muslimah reverts? Why would a father of Kagan tribe reject a Maranao's marriage proposal to his willing daughter while he was a younger half-sibling of Maranao half-sisters who cared for him by financing his education like he was their very own brother?
7. They know with absolute certainty that this dunya is temporary while actual and everlasting joy can be fully enjoyed in Jannah Paradise.
8. It could be that a wife who is fine with her husband remarrying wishes to have a female confidant as she doesn't have a sister or close friend, so she hopes to develop a sisterly connection with her co-wives, with Allah's Will, if her husband's other wives show willingness in connecting likewise.
9. They'd rather stay married and be rewarded by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for their steadfast patience/Sabr than to be divorced and having "entertained" shaytan who loves it whenever Muslims disunite.
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📖 Ibn Hibbaan narrated that Abu Hurairah RadhiAllahu 'anhu said that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’"
Classed as Sahih by Al-Albaani in Saheeh Al-Jaami’ no. 660
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1159
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Tirmidhi
Ali Al-Qari said, “That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala).”
Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125
📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."
Source: Sahih Muslim 1467
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
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