Note: More Lessons On True Love And Marriage

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Without lying and causing any nuisance but to share and inspire, I remember when my husband and I were on the sofa together spending some quality time. After showing me how to play the guitar I discussed with him the idea of me writing some lyrics while he sang in his amazing voice and played the instrument, thought of recording our so-called Nasheed, making copies of them and selling them eventually but that plan didn't happen Alhamdulillah. Listening to music and playing musical instruments I've learned is forbidden in Islam, as it is one of shaytan's means of distracting people from remembering Allah the Almighty and memorizing the Noble Qur'an. 🔸Lesson: Sometimes you plan events with loved ones which don't take place because Allah is protecting you from an evildoing or Allah the All-Knowing has other plans that are more rewarding. 

I also recall that day when my husband and I were arguing to the point I ordered him to pack his belongings and get out of the house. Several hours later he came back at the front gate with his luggage, all emotional, saying he was sorry as we exchanged hug and tears.

🔸Lessons: Do not let one argument or temporary problem cause you to make a wrong decision. It is normal for lovers to quarrel at times. True friends forgive again and again, while those whose feelings were not authentic in the beginning may be the ones to quickly walk away without listening to your sincere apology. There are so many memories to share from which lessons can be derived but certain stories are best kept as mysteries. 🔸Tip: Whenever your husband makes a mistake, readily forgive him, recollect his positive qualities and sweet memories you shared. In my case I reminisce those times I used to read to him random Islamic books as he'd lay next to me or on my lap, when he did the cooking for us while I washed the dishes and prepared the table because I didn't know how to cook back then, and us walking together often and playing badminton in the backyard. Even if nowadays I get to see him once a week or every two weeks as he works as a doctor in a remote village clinic I pray that Allah allows us to meet again in Jannah Paradise where love knows no distance nor separation. Ameen. If through marrying you have learned a lot about patience and your faith only increases every time you love your spouse for Allah's sake, this is evidence that your marriage is a blessing that should not be discarded easily.

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan Al-Tirmidhī 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Tirmidhi

Ali al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah."

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Jannah Paradise from any gate she wishes.”

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibban 4252

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Tips: Appreciate And Love Your Loved Ones For Allah's Sake

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 It's easy to hold a grudge when someone hurts your feelings or fails to do something you expected them to do, magnifying that one mistake they've done which causes you to forget all the kind gestures they've showed in the past.
If you truly want a friendship or marriage to last longer though, one of the secrets to a long-standing connection is continually appreciating the person whom you love for Allah's sake. You appreciate their positive qualities, cherish the loving memories you've shared, and acknowledge the fact that their presence in your life produces more blessings than disadvantages.
If someone whom you care about seems to be acting strange for a while or they've been too preoccupied with work that you started wondering if they'll ever communicate effectively with you again, remember the times when they did you some favors and they proved to be helpful. Recall that incident when they surprised you with a generous amount of money after you cried to them about your financial struggles, that moment when they verbally defended you after an acquaintance made an immature joke about you, and those numerous instances when they offered you snacks without you asking or a free ride to your home. Once you begin recollecting all the memories of their kindness and the fun activities you did together, you'll find yourself despising them less.
Similarly whenever your nafs complains to you about how much "life is unfair" and you wrongly assume that Allah the Most Loving doesn't like you, seek refuge with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala from shaytan's evil insinuations and thoroughly evaluate the different kinds of blessings that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala bestowed upon you - your ability to make decisions and distinguish between right and wrong, your capability to read and write, your sense of smell and touch, your sight with which you can reflect on the wondrous creations of Allah the Almighty, and your being a Muslim who's guided to the correct 'Aqeedah, guided by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala to love the Sunnah of His noble Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam.
Don't let your selfish ego make a big deal out of a temporary problem or brief misunderstanding. Don't instantly cut off connections with a potential trustworthy friend for something minor you dislike about them.
A valid excuse to emotionally detach and distance yourself from someone is if spending time around them significantly distances you from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala while their toxic traits of being manipulative, inauthentic or jealously competitive and unsupportive of you are better off avoided for Allah's sake.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Whoever does not thank people has not thanked Allah.”
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4811
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Ahmad Shakir
📖 Ibn 'Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "I was shown the Hellfire and (found) that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."
Sahih Al-Bukhari 29
In-book reference: Book 2, Hadith 22
USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 1, Book 2, Hadith 29

Poem: Learn From Past Mistakes And Do Your Best To Serve Allah

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 You're not a coward if you've failed or slipped many times,
As cowards lack the courage to try, fight, and aspire
To fulfill their soul's purpose and do what Allah likes.
Don't join the quitters who give up after they've once tried.
~•~
Being lied to often, mistakes made once in a while,
Making misjudgments and trusting the wrong types at times
Don't signify you're a fool. You're a human who's kind,
Aware you're not designed to be perfect all the time.
~•~
Liars and betrayers have taught us not to rely
On anyone except our God Allah the Most Wise.
Our flaws, blunders and incorrect assumptions remind
Us we're not flawless. Thus vile pride must be put aside.
~•~
Expect holes, obstacles and tests on your left and right,
Challenging exams in which your heart vies with your mind.
Mountains of problems and mood swings may emerge sometimes,
But with patience and trust in Allah you can survive.
~•~
When you fall into a hole, climb and patiently rise.
When critics use insults to pull you downwards, don't slide.
Let harsh words inspire you to work harder and aim high,
Trusting Allah and keeping firm faith/Imaan inside.
~•~
When thoughts like "I shouldn't have done it!", "if only I..."
And "if I could travel back in time..." often chastise,
Defeat your negative thinking with positive vibes.
Accept what Allah gives and what He takes or denies.
~•~
Let sorrow and hurt emotions have you purified.
Let sins be expiated with every tear you cry.
For Allah keep striving to pass the trials in life
Till you reach Jannah after all your efforts and tries.
~•~
https://youtu.be/N9KLkI2sVRI
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated:  Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “The believer is not stung twice from the same hole.”

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5782, Sahih Muslim 2998

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu ‘anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.’ Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills.” Verily, the  phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan.“
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

Tips: Ways To Deal With Ghosting And People Who Ignore You

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 A positive impact about not getting attached to people is that if someday they choose to walk away from us for whatever reason, we can let them slide effortlessly without feeling the need to chase them. Since we're mainly concerned about maintaining a strong connection with Allah the Almighty, we don't get negatively affected by someone's decision to leave, dismiss or reject us. If we were able to survive for so many years without that one specific "friend",
we can Inn-sha-Allah move on without them, especially if releasing ourselves from their toxic jelaousy, fakery and negative influence, is a beneficial gain to our well-being.
🌻 Five tips on how to deal with people who have ghosted you or who deliberately ignore your messages:
1] Patiently understand them and try to figure out why they weren't able to answer your messages earlier. Maybe they were busy with tons of responsibilities, noticed your message but got disconnected as soon as they were about to click send, or they were feeling too overwhelmed that they couldn't bother typing an appropriate response until they eventually forgot about it.
2] Realize that Allah the Most Wise already chose the group of souls whom we can connect and vibe with easily. If trying to network with some individuals seems very unlikely or you find yourself unable to avoid conflict with them, accept the reality that they probably weren't destined by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala to be included in your life story. Some of the people we encounter in dunya are simply temporary chapters. We can't force somebody to show up again in chapter nine if their role in our life journey is over in the previous pages.
3] You have your own personal preferences and they likewise got their own. Remember that one time you avoided a particular individual because you weren't comfortable around them? You were afraid they might judge, criticize or insult you, so you placed some distance between you two for self-preservation? In a similar way, those people who ignore your messages aren't necessarily ignoring you because you're an immoral person, but it's just that your overall presence makes them feel jealously threatened, unsafe or insecure. Allow them to walk away.
Inn-sha-Allah in the future they can be substituted by people who speak your soul's language, who think like you do, and whose energy matches your enthusiasm to improve for Allah's sake as a Muslim.
4] Focus on developing and strengthening the bond which you currently have with your loved ones, instead of wondering why this and that didn't answer your messages on time. Why bother crying over the droplets of water that spilled on the floor when there's still plenty of water in the dispenser, or better yet in the rivers and ocean? In other words, there's no need to blame yourself for not succeeding at being someone's confidant when there are hundreds of other potential friends worldwide, or better yet remain contented with Allah's Love and Guidance.
5] Whatever occured took place according to Allah's Will and whatever couldn't be established failed to occur because Allah the All-Knowing didn't want it. The past, present and future are all under Allah's Control. We don't get to choose who we befriend, communicate with and remain best buddies with forever. We can only accept Allah's Qadr/Destiny with Sabr and develop the connections which are readily available. If they work out, Alhamdulillah, continue doing what you can to keep the connection stable and long-standing for Allah's sake. If they don't, then Alhamdulillah also, at least we learned a lot from them - that the joys in dunya aren't permanent, while the Love of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala is more than sufficient.
~•~
https://personalitygrowth.com/intj-ghosting-how-they-deal-with-ghosting-people-and-being-ghosted/
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu ‘anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.’ Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills.” Verily, the  phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan.“
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

Note: Some Qualities Of Humble People

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Being humble doesn't mean diminishing your value as a human being, denying yourself the freedom to have your own voice, and behaving as though you lack special qualities. Humility is to acknowledge the fact that all humans are Allah's servants, believing we're duty-bound to serve Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala with the means which He chose to give as tests, and never acting as if we're 100% perfect so arrogance prevents one from being teachable.

The following are some signs that indicate you are humble:

1] If you made a mistake or unintentionally offended another Muslim, you don't hesitate to apologize. Arrogant people find it too difficult to say sorry, because they like to visualize they're flawless and immune to making errors.

2] If you can't think of the correct answer to a question, you humbly say "I don't know" or "Allah the Almighty knows best." Arrogant people often enjoy being interviewed, as if they're celebrities, taking control of the spotlight whenever given the opportunity, and forcing their opinions onto others with an aim not to solve problems but to inflate their ego. 

3] You aren't materialistic, you don't insist on wearing a different expensive outfit each day, and you don't judge people by the price of their clothes. To feel more superior to others, arrogant people tend to dress extravagantly and they'd hate to be spotted accompanying someone whose taste in clothing isn't as grand, luxurious or fabulous as theirs.

4] You enjoy playing with children, such as your nieces and nephews once in a while. You're willing to receive advice and have your wrongs corrected even if the person advising is a lot younger than you. Since arrogant people generally wouldn't want to be described as "childish" or "immature", they'd hate to babysit and hang around kids.

5] You've had an enjoyable meal at a classy restaurant but don't feel the need to take photos of your food to prove to others on social media what kind of meals you can afford. You have traveled to several countries in the past but refrain from mentioning them to a friend who enthusiastically describes how their most recent vacation went. There are loads of other things about you which not everyone knows of because you aren't too prideful to broadcast them unnecessarily.

6] You readily help others with what is lawful, defend those who are being unjustly mistreated, and generously do favors whenever you can without expecting thanks in return. If you notice a loved one, classmate or colleague struggling with an embarrassing situation, rather than laughing at them scornfully, you reassure them with comforting statements such as "it's okay, stuff like that happens sometimes" or "don't worry, I've been there. You'll be alright."

7] You know when to lower your gaze effectively, you train yourself to look pleasantly cheerful with a friendly smile, or at least you don't purposely attempt to appear scary and unapproachable. Arrogant people typically have a snobbish aura which gives off the impression you're not good enough to interact with them. They're likely to ignore your salaams on purpose, return your smiles with exasperated scowls or "I don't care" eye-rolls, and treat you as garbage.

AstaghfurAllah Al-'Atheem.

8] You are willing to learn from others, you don't regard any of your loved ones as a threat or competition, and you consider people's criticism as awesome opportunities to enhance self-improvement.

9] You still treat the people whom you are no longer close to with basic courtesy and dignified manners. You answer their salaams responsibly, look at them with a cordial smile, and assist them if they require assistance. 

Another indicator of humility is being worried you may be an arrogant person. Thus you strive to shun situations that could tempt you to react with kibr or takabbur, aware that Allah the Almighty dislikes those slaves who live their lives arrogantly. 

~*~

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-what-it-means-to-be-humble.html

📖 ‘Iyad Ibn Himar RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah has revealed to me that you must be humble towards one another, so that no one oppresses another or boasts to another."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2865

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "No one who has the weight of a seed of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise." Someone said, “Indeed, a man loves to have beautiful clothes and shoes.” So the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Verily, Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people."

Source: Sahih Muslim 91, Grade: Sahih

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Whoever gives up fine (luxurious) clothing out of humility for Allah while he is able to wear them, then Allah will call him on the Day of Resurrection in front of all His creation and He will allow him to choose whichever garment of faith he desires."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2481, Grade: Hasan