Note: The Importance Of Traveling With At Least One Male Mahram

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Even if a woman considers herself "independent", adventurous and confident enough to travel to another city or country without anybody accompanying her throughout the journey, she is still obligated to have at least one male mahram to escort her, in obedience to Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam when he advised the believing women against traveling long journeys on their own. A mahram is someone who is closely related that marriage with them is haraam/forbidden, and they're the ones who are allowed to accompany us during our travels.

🔹From a woman's mahrams, with whom she is permitted to shake hands and show her hair and face:

Her father, brothers, uncles (brothers of her father or mother, not their parents' male cousins), nephews, sons, grandsons, half-brothers and foster brothers (who were breastfed from the same nursing woman), and her husband since they are already married.

🔹 Some of the males who are not considered as mahrams for a woman, and they are marriageable: 

A woman's male cousin whether paternal cousin or maternal cousin (first, second or third degree etc. cousins are not your mahrams), male cousins of her parents, brothers in law (husbands of one's sisters), brothers of one's husband, and step-brothers.

🔹 Around non-mahram males, you as a Muslimah should:

1) Dress modestly for Allah's sake and maintain the proper hijab.

2) Refrain from being extremely friendly and touchy-feely. Don't poke them, shove them jokingly, hug or sit beside each other even if you claim there's no romantic feelings between you. No such thing as "I see him as a brother" when it comes to dealing with guys who are non-mahram.

3) Avoid unnecessary casual talks and being secluded together in the same room, car or elevator as our enemy shaytan can easily mess around with some of his conniving tricks.

📖 Jabir ibn Abdullah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Whoever has faith/Imaan in Allah and the Last Day, let him not be alone with an unrelated woman (non-mahram female) without her guardian (mahram). Verily, the third of them is shaytan.”

Source: Musnad Ahmed 14241

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “It is not lawful for a woman who has faith/Imaan in Allah and the Last Day to travel for a day and a night without her guardian (mahram).”

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1038, Sahih Muslim 1339

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

https://www.abukhadeejah.com/mind-map-illustration-showing-the-mahrams-male-chaperones-of-a-woman-for-travel-and-sittings/

https://www.abukhadeejah.com/the-distance-a-woman-can-travel-without-a-mahram-by-shaikh-ibn-baz/

Note: Arranged marriages vs forced marriages

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 "Arranged marriages" and "forced marriages" are not the same. In an arranged marriage, it's typically the woman's parents who suggests a potential suitor for her and they plan a certain date where she and the guy can meet each other to check if there's compatibility or "instant chemistry", not by themselves but in the presence of other mahrams. If she happens to be an orphan, her brothers or uncles are usually the ones who find a suitable partner and they interview him, then allowing the guy to look at the woman he's willing to marry for Allah's sake, and finalizing the marriage contract when she clearly approves of his proposal.

Forced marriages, in contrast, occur when a woman is married off without her actual willingness to marry the man. Oftentimes the individuals who prepare this unjust transaction want it for their own personal gain, whether it's to get rid of the woman from staying at their house as she moves to another country with a guy whom she's not interested in marrying, to greedily acquire the wealth obtained from the bride's dowry, or to improve relations between the woman's family and the guy's clan despite the bride and groom being incompatible with one another.

There is no such thing as forced marriage in Islam. A Muslim woman has every right to choose who she wishes to marry, especially a pious, decent, or well-educated Muslim man whom she should be capable of being loyal to for many years.

It is the Muslimah who is getting married, not her parents, brothers, relatives and community. Thus a marriage is devoid of blessings if it goes against the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and both of the persons getting married are doing something merely to satisfy people out of coercion.

📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, should women be asked for their consent (permission) before marriage?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Yes.” I said, “Indeed, sometimes a virgin is too shy to speak when asked.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Her silence is her consent (agreement).”

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6547

Sahih Muslim 1420

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Tips: Good Manners - Know When To Speak And When To Be Quiet

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 One of the signs of a well-mannered adult, who tries to excel at adulting or maintaining basic good manners, is knowing when to speak and when to refrain from expressing oneself unnecessarily. Supposing you and a number of your friends decided to meet at a mutual friend's house, after several months of not seeing each other face to face, then you notice a friend of yours has gained so much weight. Would you comment on her obvious weight gain saying something like, "I see you've been very productive during quarantine. Look at you! You're all fat now! I barely recognized you with those chubby cheeks." or will you keep your discriminatory thoughts to yourself, understanding maybe they've gone through loads of stress due to what's going on, and emotional eating is their way to destress?

If you saw your friend's face covered in acne, would you audaciously question them "What happened to your skin? Are those pimples or allergies? Let me guess, you're in love!" or would you tactfully be quiet about any facial defects while still appreciating their inner beauty?

Certain statements are better left unsaid, as some remarks could contribute to an acquaintance no longer trusting you, or their level of respect for you decreases every time they catch you babbling in an offensive manner. It's usually a bunch of lies, insults or backhanded compliments that ruin potential friendships. Even if a friend intends to make others laugh with their witty comments, a friendship is more likely to last longer if everyone in the group feels at ease and secure.

Naturally you'd regard somebody as toxic if you feel unsafe, uncomfortable and self-conscious around them, particularly if the last time you hung out they kept bugging you about your outward appearance, taste in clothing, accent, body size, opinions without a reasonable cause except to criticize you for not being their exact duplicate.

🔹 When can we, as Muslims, comment on someone's actions, behavior or decisions:

1) If they're doing something haraam/forbidden or bid'ah which clearly goes against Allah's Commands.

2) If what they're doing produces harm to themselves or other humans, whether they are aware or not.

3) If they're doing something halal/permissible or lawful but you can sense they don't really enjoy it. Part of loving someone for Allah's sake is to ensure they don't disrespect themselves by carrying out tasks which contradict their values.

🔹 When is silence recommended instead of criticizing an individual:

1) If you feel like judging them for how Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala created them. Why criticize another human for something which they can't fully control?

2) If you want to open your mouth and fabricate a lousy joke just to side with the insecure bullies who are being obnoxiously judgmental.

3) If your criticism won't help you at all nor benefit the subject you want to offend.

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak goodness or remain silent. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his neighbor. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his guest.”

In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, “Let him not harm his neighbor.”

And in another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Let him uphold family ties.”

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5672

Sahih Muslim 47

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Charity is due upon every joint of the people for every day upon which the sun rises. Justly reconciling two people is charity. Helping a man with his animal (or transportation) and lifting his luggage upon it is charity. A kind word is charity. Every step that you take towards the mosque is charity, and removing harmful things from the road is charity."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 2827

Sahih Muslim 1009

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Poem: Avoid Unjust Assumptions

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Careful not to assume so-and-so is "arrogant" 

Just because they appear serious, quiet and distant.

Don't judge books by one page just as we can't judge someone 

By rumors about them or their outward appearance.

~•~

You haven't known a person from only one meeting,

From their social media posts or brief interactions.

If you've never seen them crying, or traveled with them,

Or kept each other's secrets, you're just an acquaintance.

~•~

Some rush to call you "selfish" if you hurt their feelings 

When you were "not kind enough" as you were struggling.

If your shortcomings are taken as disappointments,

You're dealing with a stranger, not a genuine friend.

~•~

Close friends respect your need for frequent space and silence, 

While those who don't know you accuse you of arrogance.

Strangers mistake your passion for shady intentions,

Whereas loved ones avoid suspicion and misjudgment.

~•~

Even 'Aisha (RadhiAllahu 'anha) wasn't spared from false accusations.

Lessons from that incident: Not every spread statement 

Is true. Gossip looks addicting to the ignorant.

To stop drama: Defend the oppressed or stay silent.

~•~

Put yourself in a Muslim's shoes prior to judging

Instantly without obvious pattern or evidence.

There's always a reason behind their acts, decisions, 

And opinions. Don't label based on speculation.

~•~

That seemingly "proud" woman may be a caring aunt, 

And that "loud" man could be a loving dad or husband.

There's no need to evaluate Allah's servants when

The truth will be uncovered on the Day of Judgment.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the most false of tales. Do not seek out faults, do not spy on each other, do not contend with each other, do not envy each other, do not hate each other, and do not turn away from each other. Rather, be servants of Allah as brothers."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5719

Sahih Muslim 2563

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abu Barzah Al-Aslami RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O you who have faith with their tongues but faith has not entered their hearts! Do not backbite the Muslims or seek their faults. Whoever seeks their faults, Allah will seek his faults. And if Allah seeks his faults, He will expose him even in the privacy of his own house."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4880

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man does not accuse another man of wickedness or unbelief except that it will be turned against him if his companion is innocent."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5698

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari

Tips: Ways To Purify One's Nafs

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Some of the ways that lead to purification of one's nafs:

1) Maintaining Tawheed and steadfast belief in Allah's Oneness. Avoiding shirk, bid'ah and anything that leads to polytheism. Avoid both major and minor shirk like riyaa, intentionally doing righteous deeds to show off.

2) Saying Du'a regularly.

3) Sincerely reading from the Noble Qur'an frequently, understanding Allah's Message and striving to implement what one learns.

4) Adhering to, following and loving the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam.

5) Cleansing one's heart from evil desires and negative qualities such as jealousy, dissatisfaction with Allah's Qadr/Destiny, and being excessively attached to people. 

Doing Tawbah and trying one's best to stay away from sins and haraam actions. 

Striving to control one's nafs while doing good deeds for Allah's sake with Ikhlaas/sincerity.

Beautifying one's heart with noble and dignified traits like humility, sincerity and having positive thoughts of other Muslims.

6) Closing all the pathways which lead to distancing oneself from purifying one's nafs. Shunning distractions, obstacles and fitna.

7) Constantly remembering death and preparing oneself to meet Allah the Almighty by doing the good deeds that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala loves.

8) Carefully choosing one's close friends and befriending only the pious true Muslims who strive to be closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala.

9) Detaching oneself from self-amazement and acting as though one is flawless or more superior to others.

Understand that guidance only comes from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala Who guides whom He Wills and Who knows who are the truly guided believers.

10) Self-awareness. Being aware of one's weaknesses, limitations, needs, inclinations, strengths, potentials and reality. The more you familiarize yourself with your enemies and their intentions, the easier you can defeat them. Likewise the more you know your nafs, the more you can practice self-control and self-discipline.

📜 Islamic lecture on "purifying the nafs" by sheikh AbdurRazzaaq AlBadr:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2JAy4233cn0

📜 "Qualities of Allah's servants who strive to be near Him" Islamic talk by sheikh AbdurRazzaaq AlBadr:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dlcQBLMzMQw