Tips: One Sign Of Disloyalty And How To Prevent Infidelity

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 From the signs of infidelity in marriage, which a Muslim wife should avoid, is constantly feeling the need to hide certain matters from one's husband or deleting particular text messages before a wife gives her husband permission to browse through her cellphone. If you have to delete specific messages, chat conversations or photos prior to letting your husband borrow your gadget, because you're ashamed of the actual nature of those contents, then you shouldn't have been indulging in them in the first place.
🚫 Seven example of messages which a wife is likely to delete and wouldn't want discovered by her husband:
1] Inappropriate messages with her husband's brothers or any of his male relatives e.g. "I admire the way you take care of your wife. I wish my husband were as romantically attentive as you, (insert cutesy nickname which only those who are very close to him use)."
2] Questionable or provocative messages with other male non-mahrams e.g. "Trust me, I think you're a likable guy. If I were single, I'd be willing to marry you." or "Let's wait until my husband dies. Once I'm widowed, I may consider you as my second spouse. Add that to your agenda."
3] Flirtatious messages with the same gender that could drastically invite fitna e.g. "You know I adore you, so much so I feel like we're married." or "I can't help it but I've been having intense feelings for you ever since I saw you shed tears for the first time. You reckon I'm 'demisexual' or emotionally attached?"
4] Indecent photos, videos or selfies sent to a non-mahram whether male or female.
5] Complaints, rants or lies about one's husband sent to other users.
6] Complaints, rants or lies about any of the family members of one's husband sent to other users.
7] Intimate and very personal topics which you freely discuss with individuals besides your husband. Feeling as though you're emotionally connected with someone more than with your husband could lead to "emotional affairs".
🔹 Five tips to remain as your husband's loyal wife:
1] Make sure your messages are not purposely designed to provoke unwanted feelings of attraction.
2] Delete male non-mahram users from your "online friends list" and avoid unnecessary interactions. If you must interact with a male user such as a colleague, professor or salesman, do your best to keep the convo brief, professional and free from cheesy emoticons.
3] Remind yourself of how much you're in love with the man whom Allah the Almighty selected as your soulmate, do your best to strengthen your marriage for Allah's sake, and stay away from obstacles or distractions that occasionally emerge as part of Allah's tests.
4] Before sending a message to any user, ask yourself "Will this please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala? Will my husband's love for me change if he ever reads it? If I die and left those messages behind, will they testify for me or against me on the Day of Judgment?" An ounce of guilt, hesitance or uncertainty could indicate that it's safer to cancel what you're about to do.
5] Persistently say Du'a, praying to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala that He blesses your marriage life, while protecting you and your other half from fitna. Steadfast trust in Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and regular Du'as (particularly on Fridays, during Tahajjud/Qiyaam Al-Layl and fasting etc.) can
Inn-sha-Allah guarantee the longevity, blessings and satisfaction of your marriage life.
📖 Al-Nawwas ibn Sam’an RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Righteousness is good character, and sin is what wavers in your heart and you hate for people to find out about it."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2553
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
📖 Wabisah ibn Ma’bad RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said to me, “Have you come to ask about righteousness and sin?” I said 'Yes'. The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam clenched his fist and struck his chest, saying, "Consult your soul, consult your heart, O Wabisah. Righteousness is what reassures your soul and your heart, and sin is what (disturbs) wavers in your soul and puts tension in your chest, even if the people approve it in their judgments again and again."
Source: Sunan Al-Dārimī 2533
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Haytami

Poem: Life Lessons Learned From My Teenage Years

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 If I could speak to my younger self, I'd share nine things, 

Some lessons learned from my teenage years to present teens, 

To advise them and those young at heart through some warnings,

So they don't clone my mistakes when I was still learning:

~•~

One: Listen to your parents' advice and realize 

They know more than you as they're more experienced in life.

Two: Apologize to them when you're wrong, when you fight, 

And when you raise your voice. To yell at you they have right.

~•~

Value your parents' love. They won't be around for long.

It can be tough missing their words and hugs when they're gone.

To cope with your parents' absence, pray for them often,

And to dodge future remorse, respect them with patience.

~•~

Three: Be careful with your choice of friends. They can affect 

Your lifestyle. Welcoming the wrong squad invites regret.

Four: Solitude with Allah while He keeps you guided 

Is better than "friendships" that are toxic and pointless.

~•~

Five: Once someone has betrayed you or showed their colors,

Nine times out of ten it's safer to forget traitors.

Befriending foes who take you as a laughing matter 

Or gossipers is a recipe for disaster.

~•~

Six: Forgive. Move on. By pride refuse to be consumed.

Seven: Stop ranting on your journals. They can't help you.

Substitute your complaints with Du'as, Dhikr, Sujood, 

And Qur'an reading. Trust Allah Who hears, guides and cures.

~•~

Eight: Don't rush in rejecting each marriage proposal.

Prior to deciding, seek Allah's Guidance/Counsel. 

Do all deeds for Allah and you won't be regretful.

With Allah's Love as your goal, life becomes meaningful.

~•~

Nine: This world isn't perfect. Expect disappointments, 

Confusion, injustice, critics, problems now and then -

Just as smiles aren't lasting, tears aren't permanent.

Moments are blessings if you have learned and grown from them.

~•~

Live for Allah and pass His tests with perseverance.

To keep going: Learn Islam so your faith is strengthened.

Rely only on Allah rather than His servants.

Know that Jannah is where good souls find relaxation.

~•~

📖 Ibn Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "There are two blessings which many people waste: Health and free time."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6049

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari

📖 Ibn Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Take advantage of five before five: Your youth before your old age, your health before your illness, your riches before your poverty, your free time before your work, and your life before your death."

Source: Shu’ab Al-Imān 9575

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Poem: There's Always Something To Learn From Every Soul We Meet

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Each soul you meet is temporary like life itself.

Don't expect each of them to reciprocate your help, 

To return your favors, reach out, ask about your health.

Don't fret if most of them left, not caring how you felt.

~•~

Those gifts, the amount of cash you spent on so-and-so, 

And acts of kindness you showed to those who chose to go 

Are not wasted. If you did them for Allah, just know 

Each good deed you've done for Allah benefits your soul.

~•~

It's not a crisis if this person ditched your circle, 

That one ignored your messages, these stayed ungrateful, 

And you were betrayed or you're ghosted by some people.

Be glad you learned something. Recall they're replaceable.

~•~

From the brief connections that Allah caused to take place, 

We learn to depend only on Allah, not His slaves.

We see how deceit is ugly, so we don't betray, 

And people's nature/true colors get revealed someday.

~•~

Celebrate the truth that even if everyone leaves, 

As long as you believe in Allah, you are complete. 

It's your wholeness that causes broken souls to mistreat.

Take them as means for your faith and patience to increase.

~•~

📖 Ibn Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah has recorded good and evil deeds and He made them clear. Whoever intends to perform a good deed but does not do it, Allah will record it as a complete good deed. If he intends to do it and does so, Allah the Almighty will record it as ten good deeds, up to seven hundred times as much or even more. If he intends to do an evil deed and does not do it, Allah will record for him one complete good deed. If he does it, Allah will record for him a single evil deed."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6126

Sahih Muslim 131

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: 'Allah has decreed what He wills.' Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

Poem: Mindset To Cope With Polygyny

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Suggested mindset for each wife who often worries 

About the man whom Allah chose for her to marry:

"Dear husband, I married you for Allah's sake mainly, 

I want you not for your looks, your status or money, 

But for you to accompany me in this journey -

~•~

To Jannah where we can enjoy peace eternally.

I don't know how many women you've loved previously, 

I don't know if there's another lawful wife you keep, 

Not sure if you have another group of family, 

And if sometimes you're with somebody else whilst I sleep.

~•~

Unsure if you have other wives in other cities, 

I, as Allah's female servant, decide to believe 

In Allah's Justice, and accept Qadr/Destiny.

I know it's your right to remarry, and your duty 

To try your best to treat your multiple wives fairly.

~•~

I don't know how many lips you've kissed passionately 

Nor the number of times in your life you've hugged tightly,

But I know, with you as my soulmate, you guarantee 

You'll strive to love the whole of me, your wife, completely, 

So we both pass Allah's tests and Jannah we achieve.

~•~

I don't know how long I'll live, if you'll die before me, 

Or if dying together is from Allah's Decree, 

But I know if we try our best to make this succeed,

With Sabr and Shukr, we can earn Jannah's entry 

For believing and passing Allah's tests patiently."

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 4252

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi

Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātih 5/2125

📖 Abdullah ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

Poem: The Demerits Of Divorce

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 If divorce were a bridge leading to so-called freedom,

I wouldn't cross it if doing so meant impatience,

Discontentment with the man whom Allah has chosen 

As my spouse and expecting him to breathe perfection.

~•~

If divorce were a mansion glowing with adornments 

And buying it guaranteed lasting satisfaction, 

I wouldn't even tour it if it brought more problems 

And further fitna would arise through separation.

~•~

If divorce were a doorway that led to a kingdom 

Which many women went through and easily opened,

I wouldn't come near it if making that decision 

Was uncertain while remorse and grief are its outcomes.

~•~

Divorce is lawful, if it comes with valid reasons, 

And if staying married causes your faith to weaken.

Before requesting for divorce, seek Allah's Guidance, 

And with the man you married, have a good discussion.

~•~

If you truly loved him from the very beginning, 

You'd do what you can for Allah to save this union.

Quarrels, frequent absence, and distance have solutions - 

Patience, understanding, and not letting shaytan win.

~•~

It's shaytan who wants to break halal love connections, 

Who wants people to serve their ego and resentment,

And who finds spouses arguing so entertaining -

Don't give in to his plans. Be patient with your husband.

~•~

Remind yourself, your other half is only human.

In loving your man for Allah's sake be determined.

With Jannatul Ferdaus as your main destination,

Pray that your soulmate succeeds too - don't rush to leave him.

~•~

📖 Fadallah ibn ‘Ubayd RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "It is not permissible to joke about three matters: divorce, marriage, and emancipation."

Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabīr 780

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani

📖 Thawban RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whenever a woman asks her husband for a divorce without a strong reason, the fragrance of Paradise becomes forbidden for her."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 2226

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna’ut

📖 Jabir RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, shaytan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: 'I have done this and this.' shaytan says: 'you have done nothing.' Another one says: 'I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife.' shaytan embraces him and he says: 'you have done well!'"

Source: Sahih Muslim 2813

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim