Tips: When Is "Ghosting" And Avoiding Someone For Allah's Sake Justifiable?

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 I completely lost my interest in wanting to befriend an ethically impoverished woman when I distinctly overheard her tell a friend of hers "here comes the lesbian (tomboy)" in her dialect and when I could sense that one of her cowardly passive-aggressive posts was meant to diss "judgmental" religious niqabis. Although an acquaintance and I occasionally greet each other with the salaam, deep inside I don't regard her as a "friend" anymore because her mistake of deliberately lying against me at one point was an instant turn-off. Recently I've unfriended another individual on Facebook after I mistakenly attempted to discuss with her concerning a personal matter only for the multiple messages to be left on seen mode despite several days going by while she continued updating her timeline.

Regardless of how old you are, inevitably you'll encounter individuals who mistreat you through gossiping about you, spreading false rumors to tarnish your name, and acting indifferent or unsupportive when you assumed they could be reliable companions. 

When certain connections seem to be disintegrating gradually, it's up to you to salvage the friendship, if the merits of saving it outweigh the disadvantages of reconciling, or gladly walk away, emotionally detach and consider them as mere strangers again though you've forgiven them.

🌻 When is "ghosting" someone or distancing yourself from them justifiable:

1] When they pridefully keep doing something that clearly annoys, offends or disturbs you.

2] When they refuse to apologize for an offense that they knowingly carried out.

3] When their presence in your life weakens your faith/Imaan and they fail to inspire you to become a better Muslim.

While it is a commendable quality to be forgiving and tolerant, you deserve to protect yourself from people who are toxic, narcissistic, abusive, manipulative and secretly envious of the blessings that Allah the Almighty granted you. You're better off without them. 

There are more than a million human beings on earth who can substitute their position when Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala Wills, if the rewards of patience and freedom from their negative influence aren't sufficient replacements.

~•~

Note: Reminder to join those who regularly fast Sunnah fasts on Mondays and Thursdays if you can.

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is not stung twice from the same hole."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5782

Sahih Muslim 2998

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abdullah ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: They mentioned a man in front of the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and they said, "He only eats if he is fed! He only moves if he is made to move!" The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “You have backbitten him.” They said, “We only said what is true about him.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "It is enough sin to mention bad things about your brother."

In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If what you said about him were not true, you would have slandered him."

Source: Musnad ‘Abd Allāh ibn Al-Mubārak 2

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Mundhiri

Poem: Contentment With Simplicity And Patience With Poverty

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 I can come across videos on YouTube showcasing 

Huge house tours and grocery hauls while my reaction 

Isn't "jealous" nor "they're lucky" but "indifferent". 

What they've been given by Allah were all predestined.

~•~

"Outfit of the day" and "what's in my bag" videos can't 

Make me feel less or insecure. They're not what I want 

To be worthy of Allah's Love and pass His exams.

Money aids charity but it's not that important.

~•~

It's not crucial to be a spendthrift, live in mansions, 

Drive fancy cars, dine in classy restaurants often, 

Flaunt collections of gold and silver, branded clothing, 

And measure people's worth by their worldly possessions.

~•~

All their expensive shoes and clothes they've been collecting, 

Along with their showy job titles or positions, 

Won't profit their souls when Allah decides to take them. 

What benefit us in our graves are our good actions.

~•~

So call me "poor" if you like. To me, that term's nothing, 

Since it's obvious I'm not wealthy. I don't earn millions, 

I don't possess costly items nor own grand mountains, 

And even if I were "rich", I'm still Allah's servant.

~•~

📖 Umar ibn Al-Khattab RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I entered the room of the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam while he was lying on his side over a mat. I sat down as he drew up his lower garment and he was not wearing anything else. The mat had left marks on his side. I looked at the Prophet’s cupboard and I saw a handful of barely in a small amount, the same of mimosa leaves in the corner, and a leather bag hanging to the side. My eyes started to tear up, and the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “What makes you weep, son of Khattab?” I said, “O Prophet of Allah, why should I not cry that this mat has left marks on your side and I see little in this cupboard? Caesar and Khosrau live among fruits and springs, while you are the Messenger of Allah and His chosen one, yet this is your cupboard.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O son of Khattab, are you not pleased that ours is the Hereafter and for them is the world?" I said, “Of course.”

Source: Sahih Muslim 1479

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The poor Muslims will enter Paradise before the rich by half of a day, the length of which is five hundred years."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2354

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Look at those below you and do not look at those above you, for it is the best way not to belittle the favors of Allah."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6125

Sahih Muslim 2963

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Allah does not like for you to waste wealth, nor ask many unnecessary questions, nor spread gossip."

Source: Musnad Al-Bazzār 8463

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Anas ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever is concerned about the Hereafter, Allah will place richness in his heart, bring his affairs together, and the world will come to him although he is reluctant for it. Whoever is concerned about the world, Allah will place poverty between his eyes, disorder his affairs, and he will get nothing of the world but what is decreed for him."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2465

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O Abu Dharr, do you say an abundance of possessions is wealth?" I said 'yes.' The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Do you say a lack of possessions is poverty?" I said 'yes.' The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam repeated this three times, then he said, "Wealth is in the heart and poverty is in the heart. Whoever is wealthy in his heart will not be harmed no matter what happens in the world. Whoever is impoverished in his heart will not be satisfied no matter how much he has in the world. Verily, he will only be harmed by the greed of his own soul."

Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabīr 1618

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Poem: Patiently Let Go Of Former "Friends" And Emotional Attachment

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Maybe you and certain ex-friends parted ways because 

Somewhere in that connection lingered destructive "love", 

A toxic bond that distanced you from Allah above. 

Unhealthy thoughts of them replaced Adhkaar and Du'as.

~•~

Perhaps Allah saw how you excitedly waited 

For those ex-friends' replies while prayers were neglected, 

How you'd think of them a lot before going to bed, 

Longing to meet them while you'd approach Salah with dread.

~•~

Allah may have witnessed how you'd get so excited 

To chat with them and have their social media posts read,

Instead of having each prayer anticipated, 

So Allah saved you by getting you separated.

~•~

It's for the best that they left, though you can't feel it yet.

Better to have loved and lost than be devastated 

By staying glued to people who keep you distracted 

From Allah and ensuring your goals are accomplished.

~•~

It's a gift with those souls you're no longer connected.

If they were good for you, if they could bring benefit, 

And if their hearts didn't conceal envy or grudges, 

Allah would've let them stay - you'd be undivided.

~•~

Had they remained as friends, maybe they would have misled 

You to commit major sins which you'd later regret - 

From zina and adultery to gossip and theft, 

To having your parents or husband disrespected.

~•~

So Alhamdulillah that we're no longer attached 

To temporary joys that are dangerous for us. 

If they were meant to be our friends, we'd still be intact.

If they were blessings, they'd direct us to Allah's Love.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Love whom you love moderately, perhaps he will become hateful to you someday. Hate whom you hate moderately, perhaps he will become your beloved friend someday."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1997

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Qatadah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah the Almighty but that Allah will replace it with something better."

Source: Musnad Ahmed 22565

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are troops collected together. They come close upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Al-Nawawi said, “When bodies meet in the world, they come together or differ according to how they were created. The righteous will incline to the righteous, and the evil will incline to the evil.”

Source: Sharh Al-Nawawī ‘alá Sahih Muslim 2638

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu ‘anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.’ Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase 'if only' opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

Poem: How To Move On From Broken Friendships

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Don't cling to people; you're not a monkey, they're not trees.

Some "friendships" ending are part of what Allah decrees.

They teach us not to trust humans, they're temporary, 

And we're trained to have more patience when they disappear.

~•~

Why weep over ex-friends? Life doesn't depend on them.

They don't pay rent, they don't breastfeed nor grant nourishment, 

And from what they did best were abusing your feelings, 

Gossiping, lying, and envying your achievements.

~•~

When you're no longer in touch, it's fine to shed some tears, 

But don't hate yourself for journeys that Allah decreed.

Note: You're no monkey nor koala, and they're not trees.

Some souls are like dark clouds; life gets brighter once they leave.

~•~

Wave goodbye to their late replies, mean indifference, 

Adios and annyeong to their unpleasant influence, 

Imagined tarpaulin with the word "Farewell" written 

To walk away from nonsense with determination.

~•~

Listen, you're not arrogant by choosing to detach 

From those who disturb you, distance you from Allah's Love, 

And who can't like you back. Forgive them. Move on. Stay tough. 

For years we survived without them. Allah is Enough.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Love whom you love moderately, perhaps he will become hateful to you someday. Hate whom you hate moderately, perhaps he will become your beloved friend someday."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1997

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are troops collected together. They come close upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Al-Nawawi said, “When bodies meet in the world, they come together or differ according to how they were created. The righteous will incline to the righteous, and the evil will incline to the evil.”

Source: Sharh Al-Nawawī ‘alá Sahih Muslim 2638

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu ‘anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.’ Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase 'if only' opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

Poem: Tips To Deal With Unlawful "Love" And Crushes

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 It's not a crime to fall in love with certain people,

As emotions can't always be put under control.

What's wrong is acting upon feelings that are doubtful,

Not lowering your gaze, staring at attractive souls,

Flirting often until passion becomes physical.

~•~

How do crushes happen? Not all are explainable,

But developing a crush with time is possible.

The more you find that special someone relatable,

Or the more you discover how they're desirable,

The more your heart feels vibes that are uncomfortable...

~•~

Unwelcoming for a soul that knows it's unlawful,

To have fantasies in a way that is immoral

With the one whom you consider irresistible.

While it's okay to admire them, keep it minimal,

And don't act upon how you feel, to avoid trouble.

~•~

That Allah is testing you with love it's possible.

Allah wants to test if you can stay chaste and faithful.

With Taqwa and firm Imaan you can pass this trial.

Don't sacrifice Jannah for joys that are temporal.

Frequent thoughts of death defeat desires that are evil.

~•~

When you're "in love" with some, think "maybe it's hormonal."

Or it's shaytan enticing you to be more sinful,

To imagine doing what's unimaginable

With multiple crushes who are beyond 'likable'.

When one-sided, this type of "love" can be too hurtful.

~•~

With trust in Allah, strive to have your feelings controlled.

Your list of "secret crushes" don't let anyone know,

Because even close friends may someday have them exposed.

You're one tough fighter as you battle against your soul,

Ensuring your body doesn't do what's not halal.

~•~

To shield yourself from fitna, don't go where your crush goes.

If you have to work with them, don't make your convos long.

Though it's hard to deny your attraction and withhold,

Recall Allah's Love is more important than this world.

Don't let crushes distract you from Jannah your main goal.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah has pardoned my nation for their bad thoughts within themselves as long as they do not speak of them nor act upon them."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6287

Sahih Muslim 127

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Guarantee six deeds from me and I assure your acceptance into Paradise. When one of you speaks, let him not lie. When one of you promises, let him not break it. When one of you is trusted, let him not betray it. Lower your gaze, restrain your hands from harming others, and guard your chastity."

Source: Musnad Abī Ya’lá 4195

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani