Tips: Some Advice On How To Quit Masturbation

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Whether you believe that masturbation (touching oneself to stimulate sexual pleasure) is haraam/forbidden or makrooh/disliked, frequently masturbating shows a lack of self-control, preference to enjoy temporary pleasures over living one's life to please Allah the Almighty, and indecent conduct in front of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala as well as His Angels who have been assigned to record a person's intentional actions. If masturbating was allowed, the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam would have clearly mentioned that it's permissible, while marriage wouldn't be recommended to those who struggle with their desires because they can simply resort to masturbation to satisfy themselves. Those who are obsessed with masturbation tend to act as hypocrites when they can't afford to touch themselves indecently before their own parents and a curious audience yet when they're "alone" in a room, day or night, they'd enthusiastically watch inappropriate films or fantasize about a crush while masturbating, obnoxiously ignoring the fact that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, some of His Angels, and possibly a number of jinns are nearby watching. 

🔹 Five tips to quit masturbation, even if quitting may be difficult in the beginning: 

1] Always remember that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala sees us at all times, and the main reason why Allah created us is to sincerely worship Him, not to be enslaved by foul desires.

2] Respect the Angels who are almost always with us observing, ready to record our deeds and statements by striving to minimize or avoid anything which could upset, annoy, or disgust them. 

3] Remind yourself of the reality of this fleeting dunya and that death can arrive anytime.  

4] Continue learning more about Islam through reliable sources. The more authentic Islamic knowledge you seek and apply, the stronger your faith/Imaan gets, which can make it easier for you to abandon sins and despicable acts. 

5] Stay away from things and people whose presence may provoke sexual tension or the urge to behave improperly. You're doing yourself a favor by avoiding unnecessary interactions with unattainable individuals whom you secretly admire. Staying as a mere stranger to somebody, to preserve your Deen, is a lot safer than attempting to strengthen the bond only for it to gradually turn into a source of fitna that makes zina or masturbation tempting.

~•~

📖 Abu Qatadah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah the Almighty but that Allah will replace it with something better." 

Source: Musnad Ahmed 22565 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam was asked, “What admits most people into Paradise?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "(Taqwa) Fear of Allah and having good character." It was asked, “What condemns most people to the Hellfire?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The mouth and the genitals."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2004

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Ahmed Shakir

📖 Sahl Ibn Sa'd RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever guarantees for me what is between his jaws and his legs, I can guarantee for him Paradise." 

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6109 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/poem-take-care-of-your-heart-by.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-five-reasons-why-zina-fornication.html 

https://www.troid.org/comprehensive/marital-issues/592-the-evils-and-harms-of-masturbation

Note: Three Tips For Single Muslimahs On Finding A Good Muslim Husband

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 As a Muslimah who received several marriage proposals in my teenage years despite not having uploaded photos of myself nor signing up for accounts on matrimonial websites back then, I'd like to share three tips for currently single Muslimahs who have been waiting for at least one marriage proposal to arrive: 

1] Instead of daydreaming and wishing for the right man to come along, sincerely aspire to be a righteous Muslimah who strives to obey Allah the Almighty by doing what He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala commanded, including praying the obligatory prayers and valuing modesty. 

Displaying your beauty online and offline, through posting selfies regularly and wearing immodest attire to attract attention, isn't the proper way to find a decent spouse. Generally guys who mainly pursue women for their outward appearance are the kind of men who'd chase other ladies once they spot someone who supposedly looks more attractive. 

2] Say Du'a and request from Allah the Most Wise for whatever you need as often as you can, specially when praying Qiyaam Al-Layl and fasting Sunnah fasts. Wait for Allah's response with worthwhile patience, knowing that if Allah loves you, He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala only gives you what He knows your soul requires and at the best time, not necessarily right now and what you desire. If you can't get married in this fleeting dunya, maybe it's your Qadr/Destiny to be among those women who enjoy flawless romance in Jannah Paradise.

3] If you feel that you're ready for marriage and you're eager to start a pious family of your own, courageously express your interest to your parents, brothers, grandparents, uncles, aunties, female cousins and close friends. Maybe they can assist in searching for somebody whom they think is an ideal match for you. When the time for meeting that suitor or potential soulmate arrives, pray two Sunnah Rak'ahs of Salat Al-Istikhaara after you've double-checked the following to determine if he's worth marrying for Allah's sake: 

1) Is he Muslim? Does he pray? And is he upon the correct 'Aqeedah? 

2) Does he have a stable job which doesn't involve anything haraam/forbidden such as ribaa/usury, knowingly telling lies (if he works as an attorney), and scamming? 

3) Does he treat his mother and sister/sisters kindly? 

4) Is he single or does he already have a wife? If he's married, can he guarantee to be fair with his multiple wives and that his other wife/wives will not regard her as a "homewrecker"? 

5) Can he promise to allow his wife to make frequent visits to her parents, relatives and friends? Or is there a likelihood that he may become an overly controlling spouse who won't give much freedom to his loved ones? 

6) If he's guilty of some awful habits like smoking or selling items which Muslims ought to avoid, will he make effort to do what he can to quit them, not for the woman he wishes to marry but sincerely to reform for Allah's sake? 

7) If after some time, he gets employed in a different city, can he bring his wife with him or at least visit her occasionally? 

A clear sign that a man can, with Allah's Will, prove to be a respectable spouse is his sincere willingness to become a better Muslim. Regardless of how handsome, tall, or wealthy he is, a Muslim who has Taqwa would strive to treat Allah's servants well, particularly his wife (or wives) whom he loves for Allah's sake.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If someone proposes marriage to you whose religion and character satisfies you, then you should accept it. If you do not do so, there will be trials on the earth and the spread of corruption."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1084

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Ibn 'Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: I was riding behind the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam when he said to me, "Young man, I will teach you some words. Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him before you. If you ask, ask from Allah. If you seek help, seek help from Allah. Know that if the nations were to gather together to benefit you, they will not benefit you unless Allah has decreed it for you. And if the nations gathered together to harm you, they will not harm you unless Allah has decreed it for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2516

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-marry-for-allahs-sake-not-for-your.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/08/note-everything-including-marriage-is.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/note-think-twice-before-rejecting.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-on-few-women-who-are-uninterested.html 

Poem: Seven Tips To Be A Good Sibling To Your Siblings

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Seven tips to be a good sibling to your siblings, 

How to treat your bros and sisters well as a Muslim, 

Whether there are two of you, three, four, five, eleven, 

Or your dear mother breastfed them when they were infants, 

Or they're half-siblings and you share your dad's affection: 

~•~

First tip: Remind each other of the whys of living, 

That Allah the Almighty made us to worship Him. 

Help one another achieve your main goals and mission, 

Waking them up for prayer, patiently reminding 

Each other about our duties as Allah's servants. 

~•~

Second: Inspire them to do good with right intention. 

Advise them when you can, with care and understanding. 

Third: While sibling rivalry and quarrels are common, 

Train yourself to be the first to forgive from within, 

And don't entertain shaytan through prideful resentment. 

~•~

Fourth: Know when to interfere when they make decisions,

And when it's wiser to not pry into their actions. 

Mind your own business on condition they're not sinning. 

Fifth: Although at times they can be weird or annoying, 

Don't spoil your faith/Imaan through lying and backbiting. 

~•~

Sixth: If ever your parents show favoritism, 

Recall they're humans, prone to making mistakes often. 

Remain patient. Aspire to please Allah, not humans.

As long as you're content with Allah's Love and Guidance, 

People's praise, congrats, and support aren't important. 

~•~

Seventh: As adults, strive to maintain strong connection, 

Specially if in your younger years you were orphaned. 

Visit them when you can. Send greetings on occasion. 

Forgive. Pray for them. Treat their kids like they're your children. 

Don't let pride, jealousy, and greed lead to dissension. 

~•~

Whether you're the eldest, the youngest, or your ranking 

Is somewhere in the middle, you have right or consent 

To command your siblings, safeguarding their well-being, 

Assist them to serve Allah and shun what's forbidden, 

So Jannah Paradise is your place of reunion.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "It is not lawful for a Muslim to boycott his brother for more than three days. Whoever boycotts for more than three days and dies, he (the boycotter) will enter Hellfire."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4914

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna’ut

📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The bond of family (kinship) is suspended from the Throne and it says: 'Whoever upholds me, Allah will uphold him. Whoever severs me, Allah will sever him.'"

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5643, Sahih Muslim 2555

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe. The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna’ut 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-to-receive-allahs-mercy-dont-cut.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/poem-warning-against-purposely-cutting.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/poem-note-to-my-relatives-wherever-they.html 

https://binbaz.org.sa/audios/154/4--%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%AD%D8%AF%D9%8A%D8%AB-%D9%84%D8%A7-%D9%8A%D8%AD%D9%84-%D9%84%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%8A%D9%87%D8%AC%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%AE%D8%A7%D9%87-%D9%81%D9%88%D9%82-%D8%AB%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AB-%D9%84%D9%8A%D8%A7%D9%84

Poem: There's A Difference Between Gossiping And Sharing Information

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 There's a fine line between gossip and sharing info. 

The latter involves providing data that you know, 

Informing others about facts to inspire self-growth, 

While gossiping is done by those absorbed in sorrow - 

They try to spoil others' image as they feel so low. 

~•~

You're not shielding us from harm if boosting your ego 

Or tooting your horn is why you want someone's faults known. 

You're not warning us if describing somebody's flaws 

Would cause them to get hurt if they listened to your words, 

Specially if there's no proof to support your insults.

~•~ 

Yes, it's your right to form opinions, but please take note,

If the statements you're about to share, show, or divulge 

Could damage the subject's name or feelings once disclosed, 

Fear Allah, safeguard your good deeds, your bad thoughts withhold, 

And shut up like you'd loathe it if your secrets were told.

~•~

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: They mentioned a man in front of the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and they said, “He only eats if he is fed! He only moves if he is made to move!” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “You have backbitten him.” They said, “We only said what is true about him.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "It is enough sin to mention bad things about your brother."

In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If what you said about him were not true, you would have slandered him."

Source: Musnad ‘Abd Allāh ibn al-Mubārak 2

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Mundhiri

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or remain silent. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his neighbor. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his guest."

In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Let him not harm his neighbor."

And in another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Let him uphold family ties."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5672 

Sahih Muslim 47

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-some-things-to-consider-before-you.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/note-gossip-is-done-by-insecure-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/07/note-avoid-being-close-friends-with.html 

Tips: How To Deal With Envious People

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Obvious signs that someone is jealous of you, even if they deny their jealousy or act friendly:

1] They hate seeing you happy. Complimenting you for your good qualities, acknowledging your accomplishments and congratulating you on memorable occasions are too difficult for them to do.

2] Because your happiness makes them sad, they try to make you feel bad whenever possible. So they're likely to ignore you, underestimate you, or exclude you from group outings, meetings and social gatherings.

3] You can sense negative vibes coming from them, even if they fake a forced smile. Interactions with them are typically awkward or too brief, as though your presence brings them discomfort, due to their intense feelings of jealousy towards you. If you're observant enough, you may at times catch them scowling, frowning or rolling their eyes once you walk away from them.

4] Apologizing, appreciating you and maintaining general courtesy are things they can't do when you're around. Being rude, disrespectful, and indifferent, or falsely accusing you (Example: Claiming you're doing something to show off or you're infatuated with yourself) come naturally to them, which reflect their envious resentment.

5] If you're "friends" on Facebook, they never initiate chat conversations with you, check how you're doing or react to any of your status updates. If you're not connected on Facebook, their envy triggers them to stalk your timeline and comments on other users' walls to take advantage of whatever info you put out there or wait for you to post negative news to laugh at you when you're not doing well.

🔹 How to deal with those who envy you:

1] Avoid giving them too much information about what's going on in your life, thoughts and dreams. The less they know about you, the better. Likewise, actively stay away from their negativity. If they stalk your Facebook timeline through another account, don't bother stalking theirs. Literally have nothing to do with them, especially if they can't benefit your overall well-being.

2] Just treat them like an acquaintance or a stranger whom you're not interested in getting close to. Continue practicing basic manners with them and answer their salaams if they say salaam to you.

3] Although they probably backbite and gossip about you, don't lower yourself to their low standards by similarly indulging in backbiting or spreading rumors.

Let Allah the Almighty deal with them, while you busy yourself with doing more good deeds, particularly saying Du'as and Dhikr often.

4] Focus on your own goals and be grateful for those friends who value your companionship even if trustworthy companions are few.

5] Feel sorry for envious individuals who are emotionally disturbed by the enormous negative energy which result from envy. Thank Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala that you're not like them in struggling with insecurities, dissatisfaction with Qadr/Destiny and a lack of self-esteem.

🔹 Tips to avoid being jealous of anyone:

1] Realize that Allah the Most Wise blessed all His servants differently. Each blessing could be a trial or examination to test people's niyyah/intention or levels of faith, gratitude and patience. Instead of comparing your exam to someone else's, concentrate on passing Allah's tests as you strive to be the best version of yourself. 

2] Being content with whatever gift or favor that Allah the Most Merciful chose for you is one of the factors of being pleased with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala as your Rabb and Creator Who has every right to provide what He Wills to whomever He chooses.

3] When you're aware that deliberately acting upon negative feelings of jealousy erases your good deeds, you try your utmost to save those rewards and avoid hating people for the things which Allah the All-Knowing destined to give them.

4] The more thankful you are to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for the favors He bestowed upon you, the more you admit there's no reason to envy others for what they have or can do.

5] Part of truly loving a Muslim for Allah's sake is to be joyful when you see them smiling. Train yourself to express genuine joy whenever friends or loved ones attain success, without complaining or harboring jealous emotions.

Note: It's not always material things and worldly joys that cause some people to get jealous. Some people's hearts are so dark that they dislike your goodness and closeness to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. So it is not surprising to discover a lady who left her ex-husband for remarrying finds herself envying tough wives who are patiently content with a polygynous marriage life, or unsupportive distant relatives who act like you're not related in spite of your efforts to uphold family ties.

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of envy, for it erases good deeds just as fire devours wood or grass."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4903

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Suyuti

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Envy consumes good deeds just as fire burns wood. Charity (Sadaqah) extinguishes sinful deeds just as water extinguishes fire. Prayer is the light of the believer and fasting is his shield from the Hellfire."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4210

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Ibn Asakir

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the most false of tales. Do not seek out faults, do not spy on each other, do not contend with each other, do not envy each other, do not hate each other, and do not turn away from each other. Rather, be servants of Allah as brothers."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5719

Sahih Muslim 2563

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim