Tips: Three Types Of Grudges And How To Deal With People's Enmity

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

🔹 Three signs that a person hates and avoids you because of jealousy: 

1] They're cowardly passive-aggressive. On more than one occasion they've given some mutual acquaintances gifts, freebies, or cheerful greetings while purposely excluding you. They've also shared numerous posts or typed scornful status updates online which are subtly aimed to offend you. 

2] Nearly every time you interact with them, you notice they feel the need to one-up you or give out unsolicited info to claim superiority. 

3] They almost never ask about your personal life and check how you're doing, because they get annoyed whenever they're informed about your progress, achievements, and blessings which are granted by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. 

🔹 Three signs that somebody dislikes you due to hurt feelings or unresolved misunderstanding: 

1] They can't maintain proper eye contact with you while conversing or when you're in the same room. Every time they see you, they're reminded of the unpleasant things you've done or said to them. 

2] They stopped inviting you to accompany them for shopping, outings, or hanging out at their favorite Islamic bookstore/library, if they went out of their way to invite you often previously. It's their absolute right to emotionally detach from those whom they discovered are dishonest, inconsistent, and untrustworthy. 

3] They lost interest in wanting to be a close friend. They're no longer talkative, open, and transparent around you, as if they went back to being mere strangers again - only this time they withhold tons of secrets from you and keep their conversations brief or businesslike.

🔹 Three signs that a person's grudge comes from intimidation, feeling insecure around you, or guessing they're not good enough to reach your level of piety, confidence or dedication: 

1] When trying to talk to them, you can sense that they're nervous, frightened, or overall distracted, as if they can't wait to run away. Your positive vibes may clash with their negative energy. 

2] They have a bad habit of regularly leaving your text messages on seen mode or calls ignored because they're too scared to respond, or their lack of self-confidence makes them assume that someone who is as awesome as you shouldn't be socializing with somebody insecure like them. 

3] They do whatever they can to spoil your good image, through immature bullying and gossiping, since they view you as a threat or obstacle to their goals. 

🔹 What you, as a confident Muslim, can do when you know that certain individuals cannot stand you: 

1] Thank Allah the Almighty that Alhamdulillah you're not an envious critic who keeps himself/herself busy hatefully stalking others and counting people's flaws to be distracted from their gigantic load of insecurities. 

2] Focus on pleasing Only Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala Who knows how to deal with His servants justly at the most ideal timing. 

3] Appreciate the few genuine souls whom you truly love for Allah's sake, particularly your spouse. Never let naysayers and bashers cause you to neglect those who share your values. 

4] Attain relief knowing that the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam also had enemies from among the hypocrites and unbelievers. Being loved by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala doesn't necessitate that you'll be approved by everybody on earth. 

5] Allow your enemies and haters to inspire you to have more Sabr/patience, better character, and gratitude that you're not the sad toxic person or self-loathing narcissist.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are like conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109 

Sahih Muslim 2638 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said: "A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."

Source: Rawdat Al-‘Uqalā 56 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-solitude-with-allah-is-better-than.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-types-of-toxic-friends-we-must.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-checklist-to-find-out-if-someone.html 

🗒️ Reminder to recite Surah Al-Kahf every Jumuah Friday and include the Muslim Ummah in your Du'a.

Poem: Some Words To Tell Yourself To Cope With Social Phobia / Anxiety

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Some affirmations or words to tell yourself to cope 

With social phobia when outdoors, shopping, at school, work, 

When attending gatherings where most guests are not known, 

When assigned to meet people whom you don't really know, 

Or when you don't want to seem like a self-conscious bore:

~•~

"Allahu Akbar. Allah is the Master of all. 

As Allah's servant, I'm not here to please other souls. 

Whatever I do and say on purpose I'll ensure 

That they bring me closer to Allah's Love, while of course 

Avoiding harming people, since I'm not insecure.

~•~ 

Sometimes I may behave in a way that's immature, 

Sweat, get nervous, of some of my choices feel unsure, 

Forget, and make mistakes, as I'm human, that's for sure. 

Recalling how all souls have fears and flaws reassures 

Me to not fear people's assumptions and attitudes. 

~•~

This person is Allah's slave. That one is mortal too. 

No matter how tall many are, above six feet two, 

And how some are richer or more eloquent than you, 

Don't label them "intimidating", "fearsome", or "cool", 

When you're Allah's servants and He's Above all of you."

~•~

On Judgment Day you won't worry about how you look, 

But if you passed the test and did enough to assure 

That Jannah is your home for good deeds you used to do, 

Among which is striving to maintain belief that you 

Serve Just Allah, not scared of His slaves' conflicting views.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.’ Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills.” Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan." 

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-remember-allah-and-you-wont-be.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-some-advice-to-overcome-extreme.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/poem-five-tips-to-cope-with-social.html 

https://www.mindmypeelings.com/blog/introvert-shy-social-anxiety

Note: Three Kinds Of Blessings

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

🗒️ "There are three kinds of blessings: blessings that are gained which the servant is aware of and acknowledges, anticipated blessings that are hoped for, and blessings which one has but which are not recognized yet." 

Ibn Al-Qayyim (May Allah have mercy on him. Ameen.) 

🌻 Some examples of: 

...blessings that many recognize: receiving access to authentic Islamic knowledge and guidance from Allah the Almighty to the truth and correct belief/'Aqeedah, earning halal income with a decent job, and the ability to read, being able to distinguish between right and wrong.

...awaited blessings that are wished for: blessed marriage with a righteous spouse, pious children, and sufficient wealth so one finds it easy to do charity for Allah's sake.

...blessings that you have which only few tend to appreciate: being given plenty of chances by Allah the Most Wise to do Tawbah and being alive to do more good deeds, daylight in which you can admire Allah's beautiful creation in nature, quiet nights when your body can rest, furry animals like stray cats that often keep you company when you feel lonesome, and the many faculties which Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala gave you such as your sense of smell, sight and touch etc.

📖 Al-Mughirah Ibn Shu'bah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam would pray until his feet were swollen. It was said to him, “Why do you do this when Allah has forgiven your past and future sins?” The Messenger SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Shall I not be a grateful servant?"

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1078 

Sahih Muslim 2819

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Note: Five Signs That Your Husband's Misconduct And Foul Acts Are Not From Himself, And Tips On How To Stay As His Patient And Loyal Wife

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Five signs that your husband's misconduct and confusing acts oftentimes are not from himself but they're a result of the negative impact of the evil eye ('ayn), sorcery (witchcraft, black magic), or he's being coerced by nosy outsiders (jealous friends, relatives who despise his wife, competitive colleagues etc.) to misbehave so he loses his loving marriage life: 

1] While speaking to you or after talking to you, you notice many times that his eyes are teary or slightly reddish, as if he's filled with guilt or sadness concerning how he's being ordered to mistreat you. 

2] You've observed that usually when you're out or indoors together, your husband frantically scans the surroundings or anxiously looks around as if he can sense that he's being monitored or stalked by a group of spies that commanded him to treat you badly. 

3] You regularly see your husband or an image of him in vivid dreams where he's crying, shedding tears, apologizing to you, stretching out his arm to hold on to you, or enjoying romantic moments together which you can't always enjoy when you're not dreaming. 

4] Several times when you've touched him, sat beside him, or displayed affection, you realize that he unnaturally gets nervous or trembly, unlike before in your first weeks of marriage it was obvious that he felt comfortable around you. He's probably shaking with anxiety as if he's afraid that whoever coerced him to neglect you would penalize him for not following their unjust demands, or he's trying his best to overcome the negative effects of evil eye ('ayn), sorcery (witchcraft, black magic). 

5] The number of times he's been kind and loving to you outweigh the number of times he acted unreasonably or neglectfully. Maybe he's not being requested by anybody to be neglectful towards you but, he is in reality busy with his job, specially if he is employed in the medical field, or some of the bad choices he may sometimes make are due to severe depression or some sort of personality disorder which he has been struggling from. 

🔹 What you can do as a caring, understanding, patient, supportive, and admirably loyal Muslim wife: 

1 ] Continue trusting Allah the Almighty, saying lots of Du'a wholeheartedly, and praying that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala always blesses your marriage life. If you genuinely love the man whom Allah the Most Wise chose as your soulmate from the very moment you were engaged to marry, you wouldn't easily give up on him like a kid that irresponsibly throws away an unfinished lollipop.

2 ] Lovingly include your husband in your frequent Du'as / supplications, particularly while fasting Sunnah fasts and when praying Tahajjud / Qiyaam Al-Layl. 

3 ] Courageously give your husband the space that he requires once in a while (allow him to miss you. Don't be too annoyingly clingy), so he can relax, reflect, and analyze carefully to solve whatever challenges and problems he could be encountering. 

4 ] Ask him kindly to do proper Ruqyah on himself or carry out Ruqyah on him while he's awake in a good mood or when he's peacefully sleeping. Encourage him to habitually say the morning and evening Adhkaar, and to recite as many Surahs and verses from the Noble Qur'an as he can. The stronger your faith/Imaan and Taqwa, and the more righteous deeds you do sincerely, the more formidable or effective is your shield (coming from Allah the Most Powerful) against any evil eye ('ayn), sorcery, and people's enmity. 

5 ] Consistently remind yourself of why you accepted your husband's marriage proposal in the beginning. Imagine his moodiness, ignorance in certain circumstances, or occasional mistakes as branches of an imaginary wild tree that constantly tries to grab his body to cast him into a cage. If he gets locked in, will you cowardly leave your husband behind because you selfishly care more about your well-being than your spouse's needs and freedom? Or will you bravely stand by him, let him know that you remain by his side for Allah's sake, and patiently wait for his release or until you find a key to free him, as you're eager to pass this temporary test which Allah the Most Wise has sent to examine if your love is artificial or genuine.

~•~ 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-fear-allah-more-than-fearing-evil.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-dear-muslim-wife-understand-that.html 

Poem: Increase In Income Doesn't Always Indicate Allah's Love, Specially If One's Wealth Isn't Spent In The Correct Way

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Dear self, and Muslims who try to earn halal income, 

An increase in wealth isn't always indication 

Of Allah's Love but it means more examinations, 

Additional exams on how the money is spent, 

How it's earned, and if it's given with right intention. 

~•~ 

When you go out for grocery or window shopping, 

What's your goal? To spoil yourself with worldly enjoyment? 

Or to buy what you need and survive as a Muslim, 

Purchasing necessities for cooking and sharing, 

While fully aware that this world is not permanent? 

~•~

When asked to purchase some products from friends or loved ones, 

Whether you buy eagerly or with some reluctance, 

What's your purpose in buying? To make it evident 

That you're wealthy and kind, not a miserly person? 

Or to help them for Allah's sake with good intention? 

~•~

The money which you often spend? Where does it come from? 

Through ribaa / usury / interest that's forbidden? 

Through lottery, gambling, or was it somehow stolen? 

Or through sincere efforts from a decent profession? 

Work that involves haraam is devoid of real blessings. 

~•~

You have debts (utang)? Are you indebted to someone? 

Have you completed paying for your reserved items? 

Businesses that you manage - are they lawfully run? 

Or will they bring forth problems on the Day of Judgment? 

Make sure your affluence is a blessing, not torment.

~•~

📖 Ka'b Ibn 'Iyad RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, every nation has a trial (fitna, test), and the trial of my nation is wealth."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2336

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The poor Muslims will enter Paradise before the rich by half of a day, the length of which is five hundred years."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2354

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-contentment-with-simplicity-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-richness-in-faithimaan-and-manners.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/poem-be-contented-knowing-that-dunya-is.html