Tips: Controlling Your Gaze Is From The Many Secrets Of Protecting Your Marriage

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 One of the most effective ways which you, as your husband's fiercely loyal and grateful wife, can do to never be guilty of the major sin of zina (fornication / adultery) is purposely lowering your gaze when necessary. According to some researches, it is possible for two complete strangers, regardless of gender, to fall in "love" if they deliberately stare into each other's eyes for at least four minutes on condition they mutually find one another interesting or attractive somehow. 

Striving to control your gaze for Allah's sake isn't just done offline and in public places, but you're also required as a Muslim to be very careful with what you look at while browsing through social media. 

🌼 From the benefits of controlling your gaze: 

1] Your heart is shielded from unwanted or inappropriate feelings of attraction. The less you allow yourself to marvel at the beauty or handsomeness of some non-mahrams, the less chances are there in getting distracted from loving and appreciating the man whom Allah the Most Wise chose to give you as your husband/soulmate. 

2] Protecting your marriage from shaytan's evil plots to disrupt its peace. By lowering your gaze when necessary, you admirably prevent yourself from dissatisfaction with Allah's Destiny/Qadr and from insecurely comparing your spouse to other souls. 

3] The more you master the skill of controlling your gaze, the better you get at self-discipline, resilience, inner strength, Taqwa, and patience in staying away from the sins which Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and His noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam warned against. 

~•~ 

📖 Mu'awiyah Ibn Haydah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Three eyes will not see the Hellfire: An eye standing guard in the Way of Allah, an eye weeping from fear of Allah, and an eye lowering its gaze from what Allah has forbidden."

Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabīr 16375

Grade: Sahih li ghayrihi according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of loitering in the roads." They said, “O Messenger of Allah, we have nowhere else to sit and talk.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If you insist, then give the road its rights." They said, “What are its rights, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Lower the gaze, refrain from harm, return greetings of peace, enjoin good, and forbid evil."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 2333

Sahih Muslim 2121

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/poem-for-allahs-sake-avoid-fitna-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-importance-of-lowering-your-gaze.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/note-importance-of-lowering-gaze.html 

https://youtu.be/kVf4hCDKyP8 

💚 Note: Reminder to recite Surah Al-Kahf every Jumuah Friday and include the Muslim Ummah in your Du'a

Quote: Reminder On The Prohibition Of Gossiping And Backbiting

 💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ "If the banks were to pull out or withdraw from our savings every time we indulged in gossip or backbiting, and they transferred some of our money to the accounts of the people whom we gossiped about, we would try our best to stay quiet to protect our wealth. Is our fleeting wealth more important and precious than our remaining good deeds?" 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Do you know who is the bankrupt?" They said, “The one without money or goods is bankrupt.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, the bankrupt of my nation are those who come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers, fasting, and charity, but also with insults, slander (gossiping, spreading rumors, and backbiting), consuming wealth, shedding blood (committing murder), and beating others. The oppressed (those whom they unfairly mistreated) will each be given from his good deeds. If his (the oppressor's) good deeds run out before justice is fulfilled, then their sins will be cast upon him and he (the oppressor who treated them wrongly) will be thrown into Jahannam/Hell."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2581

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever wrongs his brother in his honor or anything else should resolve the matter today before it cannot be resolved with gold and silver coins. If he has good deeds to his credit, they will be taken from him according to the measure of his injustice. If he has no good deeds left, he will bear the evil deeds of the one he has oppressed."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 2317

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-some-things-to-consider-before-you.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/note-gossip-is-done-by-insecure-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/poem-theres-difference-between.html 

Poem: How To Deal With One-Sided "Friendships"

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Some advice on how to deal with one-sided "friendships", 

Idle bonds in which one soul is too scared to connect, 

And from the reasons why they're passive, unresponsive, 

Or uncooperative are they're either jealous, 

Intimidated, or they can't fathom your language: 

~•~ 

Firstly, thank Allah that through them you're motivated 

To differ from their lack of manners, and their toxic

Ways of treating people based on unjust perspectives. 

Acknowledge that not all souls, such as yourself, were blessed 

To be brought up by parents who are educated. 

~•~ 

Understand there's a difference between messages 

Left unanswered due to the fact they weren't read yet 

And ones that are ignored repeatedly on purpose. 

When coping with the latter, stay patient, and know this - 

True love can't be forced. If they act like walls, forget it. 

~•~ 

Just as you can't force yourself to enjoy egg sandwich 

With apple slices inside and cobwebs beside it, 

People have a right to choose who deserves their friendship. 

It's not your fault if your bright vibes scare someone's sadness, 

And if your values don't align with what they cherish.

~•~ 

Though you and some souls aren't friends, stay kind and know this: 

Allah the Most Wise controls everything and chooses 

Who gets to befriend you, who's better off avoided, 

And who shows up in your life as a gift to perfect 

Your patience in leaving what Allah prohibited. 

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638 

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Fear Allah wherever you are, follow a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it, and behave well with good character towards the people."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1987

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-dont-cry-over-ex-friends-whose.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/tips-some-signs-that-you-and-certain.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-seven-signs-that-indicate-jealousy.html 

Poem: When You Feel Like Complaining, Cry To Allah, Not His Servants

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Isn't it ironic when we feel like complaining 

To trusted loved ones or friends, seeking their opinions, 

Suggestions or solutions to some of our problems, 

We'd greet disappointment when nobody would listen, 

Yet when some whine to us we're not always listening? 

~•~ 

From the reasons why we can't give people attention 

Twenty-four-seven and we can't at all times welcome 

Complaints to guide the confused and heal the heartbroken: 

We're humans just like them, with our own set of problems, 

While sometimes we're prone to misjudgment and exhaustion. 

~•~ 

Even the strongest, the bravest and most confident 

Of warriors have their ups and downs, go through tough moments, 

And challenges that were sent by Allah to strengthen 

Our faith/Imaan, enlightenment, contentment, patience, 

And insight from Allah to trust no one except Him.

~•~

If on earth there's no confidant or close companion, 

Consider it as a blessing, and a protection 

From egocentric convos, misleading discussions, 

Invitations to indulge in lousy gossiping, 

Urges to lie, or confiding in the wrong persons. 

~•~ 

You need someone to hear you out? Seek Allah's Guidance. 

No one cares? That's not true. Allah sees us and listens 

To each word we utter, whisper, and hide from within. 

Allah always hears us. When you feel like complaining, 

Seek Allah's Help and know your secrets stay safe with Him.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Those in solitude have raced ahead." They said, “O Messenger of Allah, who are those in solitude ('al-mufarridoon')?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "They are men and women who remember Allah a lot."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2676

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Some people from the Ansaar asked the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and he gave them. Then they asked for charity again and he SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam gave them. Then they asked again and he SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam gave them until all he had was gone. The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I had anything, I would not withhold it. Whoever refrains from asking others, then Allah will make him content. Whoever would be independent, then Allah will make him independent. Whoever would be patient, then Allah will make him patient. There is no gift that is better and more comprehensive than patience."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6105

Sahih Muslim 1053

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-trust-allah-almighty-and-strive-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/poem-allah-almighty-always-sees-us-were.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-trust-allah-and-you-cant-feel.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-independence-while-trusting-allah.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-three-types-of-patience-apply-them.html 

Tips: Five Reasons Why We're Uninterested In Befriending Some Of The People We Meet

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Five probable reasons why we're uninterested in befriending some people, with examples from some personal experiences: 

1♦️ We've heard them telling lies and/or gossiping about us. 

e.g. when I knocked on a door to visit some of the moms and I overheard one of them saying something like "nandito ang tomboy". That awful joke inspired me to lose interest in getting to know her better. 

2♦️ Our values, goals, personality, style of communicating, and overall interests are so different that it's not easy for us to get along harmoniously.

e.g. A divorcee who remarried a guy who's several years younger than her still keeps the children of her ex-husband when they should rightfully be with him since she decided to remarry. The fact that she's one of those females who aren't comfortable with polygyny, while I dislike the idea of divorcing due to emotional instability, is what causes animosity. 

3♦️ They've proven many times that they're unreliable, dishonest, and untrustworthy. 

e.g. When a certain acquaintance had the audacity to invent clear lies about me, I stopped inviting her to outings and accompanying me to places we often went to. 

4♦️ They remind us of somebody whom we dislike, we can sense that they envy us, or their unpleasant vibes conflict with ours. 

e.g. Having my intuition spot-on, Alhamdulillah, when I sensed there was something fishy about this female upon our first meeting years ago. According to her, she was a "niqabi" during her stay in the Middle East then after some time gave up wearing the niqab. Then she wore it again only to take it off after a few months. Even though I never said anything about her indecisiveness and confused attitude, she later "unfriended" me on Facebook which didn't surprise nor bother me as there was no friendship in the first place. 

5♦️ You know they're undeniably toxic when their presence brings discomfort or you feel more at peace when they're not around. 

e.g. Finding it weird how a woman in her 40s who claims to be "Salafi" would frequently use dog emojis in her text messages and whenever she'd narrate some news or story, you can tell she was insecurely bragging and one-upping. 

If keeping an individual in your circle of trusted friends doesn't bring you closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, as they can't teach you anything valuable and you're better off without being close to them, then unapologetically minimize interactions with them for Allah's sake to protect your well-being and faith/Imaan. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638 

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Nothing is heavier upon the scale of a believer on the Day of Resurrection than his good character. Verily, Allah hates the vulgar and obscene person (prone to wicked conduct and foul speech such as knowingly telling lies, backbiting, spreading rumors)."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2002

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-seven-types-of-difficult-people.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/tips-three-types-of-grudges-and-how-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-what-often-leads-to-conflict-or.html