Tips: Some Advice On How To Solve "Incompatibility" In Marriage

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 According to some astrologers my husband who's a so-called "Capricorn" and I, a "Leo", are incompatible since "Capricorns" and "Leos" generally behave in a way that would cause them to clash with one another. Seeing how the alignments of stars have zero impact on our future and people's personalities, I don't believe in such nonsense. A few MBTI practitioners would also suggest that my husband and I are not an "ideal match" because he's an ESFJ while my personality type is INTJ. ESFJs and INTJs, as acquaintances or colleagues, in general could struggle to get along if they perceive most circumstances differently and they don't share the same values. The fact that he enjoys watching basketball tournaments while I prefer soccer matches if I had to choose which athletic game I'd rather watch, and his preference for socializing at large gatherings while I'm one of those guests who usually leave early, are from the other aspects which set us apart, likely resulting in "incompatibility". 

🔹 Even if some outsiders and delusional critics assume that your husband doesn't appear to be compatible with you, there are five things which you can do to manage the "incompatibility": 

1] Try to look at the benefits or advantages of your husband's qualities which make him different from you. 

2] Find at least three interests or characteristics which you and your husband have in common, one of them being your eagerness to serve Allah the Almighty and succeed in reaching Jannah Paradise together. 

3] Remind yourself often that there are different kinds of love stories. Some marriages consist of couples who resemble one another in myriad ways, while other spouses are able to get along peacefully despite their differences. 

4] See what you can learn from each other's dissimilarities. For instance, your husband's enjoyment of talking to people regularly can inspire you to network with others when necessary, and your choice to seclude yourself once in a while reminds him that it's okay to be alone (with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) from time to time. 

5] If there is something about your husband which requires modification and it is adjustable or fixable, then stay patient in waiting for his self-development, as he does what he can to solve any problem. However, if your spouse has a defect which can't be changed, then strive for Allah's sake to have patience with your husband's flaws and acknowledge the truth that perfection can only be achieved in Jannah Paradise. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Fear Allah wherever you are, follow up a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it, and behave well with good character towards the people."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1987

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "The most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1162

Grade: Sahih 

📖 Umm Salamah RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah (Paradise)."

[At-Tirmidhi, who classified it as Hadith Hasan]

Riyadh As-Salihin 286

In-book reference: Introduction, Hadith 286 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-three-signs-that-your-marriage-is.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-three-clear-signs-that-you-married.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-what-often-leads-to-conflict-or.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-three-reasons-why-we-cannot-click.html 

💚 Note: Reminder to recite Surah Al-Kahf every Jumuah Friday and include the Muslim Ummah in your supplications.

Hadith: Importance Of Striving To Follow The Sunnah Of The Noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam

📖 Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The noble Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "I have left you with two matters and you will never go astray for as long as you hold on to them: The Book of Allah (The Qur'an) and the Sunnah (tradition) of His Prophet (Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam)."

Source: Al-Muwaṭṭa’ 1661

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) 

~•~ 

https://youtu.be/gHLSXg1ZfHM 

https://m.youtube.com/c/darelhadeeeth/videos 

Poem: As Your Husband's Loyal Wife, Avoid Ingratitude

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Just as you'd appreciate it if your husband knows 

You're a human with a list of shortcomings and flaws 

So he shouldn't expect you to be perfect at all, 

Recall that he's like you - sometimes he'll forget, slip, fall, 

Misconstrue and make mistakes. He's not flawless at all. 

~•~

If he works hard in daytime, he'll get tired when night falls. 

If he often copes with clients with problems to solve 

Or he tries to console many patients young and old, 

It may be challenging for him to take all your calls 

Or answer your messages while he's stressed out at work. 

~•~ 

If on some days he talks to you with an annoyed tone, 

Remember all those moments when he'd lovingly joke 

To hear you laugh, sweet episodes when he'd hold you close, 

Times when he'd apologize when he'd do something wrong, 

And countless cases when his words brought loving comfort. 

~•~

Don't let his errors make you forget the gifts he bought. 

Never allow his clumsiness or delayed response 

To cause you to cancel out each one of his efforts 

In the past and present to ensure this marriage works. 

Don't let pride and your man's weaknesses incite divorce.

~•~ 

Though your husband made statements that had your feelings hurt 

Or frequently he's unable to put your needs first, 

Patiently forgive him for Allah. Know that divorce 

Doesn't end sorrow. Breaking a blessed bond makes life worse 

If you loved him from the start and he inspires self-growth. 

~•~

📖 Ibn 'Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "I was shown the Hellfire and (found) that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."

Sahih Al-Bukhari 29

In-book reference: Book 2, Hadith 22

USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 1, Book 2, Hadith 29 

📖 Narrated Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: On Eid-ul-Fitr or Eid-ul-Adha, Allah's Messenger SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam went out to the Musalla. After finishing the prayer, he delivered the sermon and ordered the people to give alms (charity). He said, "O people! Give alms." Then he went towards the women and said. "O women! Give alms, for I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-Fire were you (women)." The women asked, "O Allah's Messenger! What is the reason for it?" He SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied, "O women! You curse frequently, and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. O women, some of you can lead a cautious wise man astray." Then he left. And when he reached his house, Zainab, the wife of Ibn Mas'ud, came and asked permission to enter It was said, "O Allah's Messenger! It is Zainab." He asked, 'Which Zainab?" The reply was that she was the wife of Ibn Mas'ud. He said, "Yes, allow her to enter." And she was admitted. Then she said, "O Prophet of Allah! Today you ordered people to give alms and I had an ornament and intended to give it as alms, but Ibn Mas'ud said that he and his children deserved it more than anybody else." The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied, "Ibn Mas'ud had spoken the truth. Your husband and your children had more right to it than anybody else."

Sahih Al-Bukhari 1462

In-book reference: Book 24, Hadith 65

USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 2, Book 24, Hadith 541 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/poem-love-your-husband-patiently-for.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/poem-be-strong-wife-and-love-your.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/note-when-pious-wife-loves-her-husband.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-dear-husband-thank-you-loving-you.html 

https://www.abukhadeejah.com/what-makes-a-man-happy-and-what-makes-him-miserable/

Poem: It's Easy To Stay In Love With Your Husband When He's Got Faith/Imaan And A Good Personality

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Some actions which cause your husband to be lovable, 

Some deeds that endear him to you and help you recall 

How your marriage is blessed, while to Allah you're grateful 

For loving this special soul among the other souls - 

The more your spouse does these, the more he's memorable: 

~•~

Gently waking you up to pray while you're asleep still;

Leading you in Salah when you pray once in a while 

Together and hearing him recite keeps you tranquil; 

Advising you to keep calm, forgive, and shun quarrels 

When he listens to you complain about some people; 

~•~

Apologizing after he says something hurtful; 

Putting effort to compensate when he's unable 

To meet all your needs; making jokes to hear your giggles; 

Trying his best to listen when you've some news to tell; 

Helping you cook; completing your chores when you're unwell;

~•~ 

Telling your kids/child cool stories; smiling when you smile; 

Reminding you often that you look so beautiful; 

Bringing home snacks from work or souvenirs from travel; 

Welcoming your weird habits which some individuals 

Find deplorable; and believing you're lovable. 

~•~ 

If several traits make your spouse unforgettable 

And you know that loving him for Allah is worthwhile, 

Then stay patient with him. Train yourself to be loyal 

Not for his wealth nor good looks but how he is able

To inspire you to join pious wives who are grateful. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "The most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1162

Grade: Sahih 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The best of you are the best to their women."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 1978

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/note-good-muslim-man-who-respects-his.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-some-signs-your-husbands-love-for.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-five-signs-that-your-husband-is.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-three-clear-signs-that-you-married.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/poem-always-love-your-husband-even-if.html 

Poem: Some Advice On How To Be Your Husband's Loyal Wife

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 A few tips on how to be your husband's loyal wife, 

To ensure that he's the only soul whom your heart likes 

Romantically as you both journey to Paradise: 

Love your spouse truly for Allah. Don't allow your eyes 

To wander shamelessly, staring at guys left and right. 

~•~ 

Even around females be careful with how your sight 

Is utilized. Don't end up like females who admire 

Each other too much then succumb to sinful desires. 

And control how your eyesight is used so your love life 

Stays stable. Don't compare your romance to other wives'.

~•~ 

Take care of your conduct and communicating style. 

Watch how you speak and behave both online and offline. 

Don't let certain phrases and emoticons imply 

That you're flirting or trying to spoil your marriage life. 

Interact with manners, and pointless talks minimize. 

~•~

When being looked at by non-mahrams, divert your eyes 

From theirs to look at something else, at the ground or skies, 

Or walk away from where they are. Those watching nearby 

Mustn't inspire you to return their glances likewise. 

The more often you gaze, the more you get magnetized.

~•~

Remind yourself a lot that for Allah the Most Wise 

You love the man whom Allah chose, while you're satisfied 

With your spouse, grateful to remain as his loyal wife. 

Unlike lovers who search for fun to their left and right, 

Value loyalty - stay content with your marriage life.

~•~

📖 Thawban RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The best wealth is a tongue that remembers Allah, a grateful heart, and a believing wife to help one in his faith."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 3094

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Umm Salamah RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah (Paradise)".

[At-Tirmidhi, who classified it as Hadith Hasan]

Riyadh As-Salihin 286

In-book reference: Introduction, Hadith 286 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-what-happens-when-allah-most-wise.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-genuine-love-is-in-getting-married.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-controlling-your-gaze-is-from-many.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-it-takes-lots-of-strength-to-be.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/tips-one-sign-of-disloyalty-and-how-to.html