Poem: What To Expect When You've Become Your Husband's First Wife

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 What to expect when you've become your husband's first wife - 

Advice to each Muslimah who sacrificed her pride 

And let her man remarry although most can't deny 

That polygyny isn't something all souls desire - 

Keep loving for Allah's sake so this bond stays worthwhile: 

~•~ 

Expect to see your soulmate less, since he must divide 

His time for each of his wives to ensure that his life 

Is filled with blessings while he strives to fulfill their rights. 

Since they're human beings, not all guys will do this right. 

If your husband seems unfair, advise him and remind.

~•~

If your allowance is reduced, please don't get surprised, 

Specially if you're wed to a not so wealthy guy. 

"If he's broke or indebted, then he's not qualified 

To have more than one wife in the first place!" please, don't whine. 

Be his faithful partner and stay patient by his side.

~•~ 

Support him for Allah. Pray for your spouse day and night. 

With Allah's Will, things can get better as days go by. 

Expect frequent fights or tournaments with your co-wives, 

Specially if they're jealous or insecure inside. 

The winner isn't the most spoiled, but most patient wife. 

~•~ 

Expect that staying firm won't be as easy as pie, 

Specially when shaytan won't quit tempting you with pride. 

To thrive in polygyny: Have patience day and night.

Stay connected to Allah. Put selfishness aside.

Take your co-wives as friends and teammates to Paradise.

~•~

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Umm Salamah RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah (Paradise)".

[At-Tirmidhi, who classified it as Hadith Hasan]

Riyad As-Salihin 286

In-book reference: Introduction, Hadith 286 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-patience-for-allahs-sake-can.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-to-those-not-strong-enough-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-my-answer-to-what-made-you-accept.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/poem-understand-that-theres-wisdom.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-when-is-polygyny-better-than.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-some-advice-to-each-muslimah-whos.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-quick-advice-for-wife-whos-about.html 

https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/28215/%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%AB%D8%A7%D9%86%D9%8A%D8%A9-%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%BA%D9%8A%D8%B1-%D8%B9%D9%8A%D8%A8-%D9%88%D9%84%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%B5%D9%8A%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84%D9%89

Tips: How To Tell If An INTJ Cares About You If Their Love Language Is Quality Time

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Some of the things which most INTJs do when they like you for Allah's sake, as a friend or loved one, while their love language is "quality time": 

1] Occasionally they ask you a lot of questions about yourself, your life, your past, current concerns and plans for the future, not in an interrogating manner but rather they are genuinely eager to be more well-acquainted.

2] At least once every three months or so, they make the first move in sending you a message online to curiously ask how you're doing, and they welcome chatting with you late at night or even when they're busy. 

3] If they need advice or frank feedback on an issue, they go out of their way to consult you, as they value your interesting opinions. 

4] Even if they're outdoors, at work, shopping, tired, or attending some social gathering, they try to answer your messages without delay, and their responses consist of more than one-word answers. 

5] From time to time they enthusiastically check your Facebook timeline or social media posts. Although they may not always react to each of your status updates, the fact that they visit your pages at least once a month shows that they care about what you have to say. 

6] If you're in the same room and they notice somebody making fun of you or attempting to embarrass you somehow, they quickly defend you, respond cleverly on your behalf, or do something to distract you from any feeling of embarrassment. 

7] They easily laugh at your jokes and find your sense of humor amusing. It's obvious that an INTJ dislikes you if they maintain a straight face or scowl when you're trying to be playful with them. 

📨 When the INTJ can't trust you anymore or they regard you as a complete stranger: 

1] They find it difficult to think of appropriate topics to discuss with you. So their style of interacting when you're around is mostly brief or businesslike. 

2] Since they're uncomfortable with your vibes, they don't give you as much eye contact as they do when they're talking to those who are close to them. 

3] Although they're aware of how you own a YouTube channel, Facebook page or website, they have zero interest in revisiting it after its initial discovery. 

4] They're generally reluctant to seek your advice or collect any information from you, not because they're shy or intimidated but they don't consider you as a dependable and trustworthy individual. If they had the opportunity to avoid you at all costs to preserve their well-being, they'd gladly do so. 

5] Their serious, straightforward and emotionally detached personality doesn't change even when you try to joke with them, although they're capable of inventing hilarious comments and acting goofy around a select few who matter to them. They're not being "arrogant" but authentic and true to themselves.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Al-Azimabadi said, “That he hates for the sake of Allah does not mean he harms the one he hates. Rather, the hatred is for his unbelief and disobedience.”

Source: ‘Awn Al-Ma’būd 4681 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-how-most-intj-personality-types.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-choosiness-of-most-intjs-when-it.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/tips-intj-acquaintance-vs-intj-friend.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/note-how-most-intj-personality-types.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/tips-eleven-signs-indicating-intj-cares.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/intj-friendships-how-the-intj-is-as-a-bff/

Tips: Some Ways To Determine How Much Your Husband Cares Through The Five Love Languages

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Some ways to determine how much your husband loves you, according to the five love languages, even if he currently works abroad and you're in a long-distance relationship (LDR) or polygynous marriage: 

1] Words Of Affirmation: 

• He regularly tells you "I love you". 

• He never gets tired of thanking you vocally and in his emails, chat conversations, and text messages. 

• He has given you a loving nickname and feels no shame in addressing you with that special name. 

• He has complimented you many times on your beauty, cooking, and way of bringing up your kid/children. 

• Oftentimes he gives you valuable advice, writes romantic letters/poems, or motivates you to pursue your goals.

🌼

2] Quality Time: 

• He tries his best to spend time with you, at least once a week. If he is working or studying in a different city, he does what he can to make sure that he sees you on a regular basis. 

• He makes effort to read your messages and online posts enthusiastically or thoroughly. Deliberately refusing to give you any attention is one indicator that a person doesn't care about you at all. 

• He goes out of his way to answer your calls and messages, or chat with you for a few seconds, even if some of his responses are delayed due to his workload and busyness.

• Whenever you talk, face-to-face or in a video call, you can sense that he enjoys listening to you. 

• At least twice a year, if he is currently abroad or he's married to multiple wives, he encourages you to enjoy romantic moments with him and/or meet with his relatives.

🌼 

3] Acts Of Services: 

• If this is his love language, he offers to help you around the house without being asked to do so. 

• Many times he has offered to fix something which needed to be fixed, such as an electronic gadget or furniture etc. 

• He helps you in taking care of your kid/children and doesn't act like a misogynist who believes that educating the kids is entirely a woman's job. 

• You still remember those times when he insisted on changing the diapers of your baby/babies, bathing them and helping them with homework while he let you relax or complete other tasks. 

• When he wasn't busy or before he got employed in another city, you recall and appreciate those memorable moments when he volunteered to do the cooking or the laundry for you and his family.

🌼 

4] Gifts: 

• He buys you gifts or edibles from time to time. 

• He still remembers your favorite colors and tries to purchase you things which he hopes you would like. 

• If he can't buy you presents because he is financially struggling, he allows you to use some of his belongings such as his jacket to keep you warm or large slippers when you feel like using them. 

• If he is working or studying abroad at the moment, he frequently sends you links to Islamic videos and articles which he believes you can benefit from - access to authentic Islamic knowledge, as well as heartfelt Du'as, is one of the best gifts you can receive from your husband. 

• A random emoji or flirty message from your husband, regardless of how tired or busy he is, can also be counted as a gift.

🌼

5] Physical Touch: 

• He loves hugging you, offering comforting massages, and welcomes your kisses whenever he can. 

• He lets you play with his hair, doesn't budge or move away when you sit near him, and can't get annoyed when you're being touchy-feely.

• When you're together after he arrives from outside or with the other wife/wives, you can feel that he loves you for Allah's sake genuinely for who you are, not just for intimacy. 

• Despite his huge body size he makes sure that he handles you with care and treats you gently. 

• He knows when to enjoy cuddling with you and when to give space, particularly if he understands that you need to rest just as he'd like it if his needs aren't neglected. 

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "The most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1162

Grade: Sahih 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The best of you are the best to their women."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 1978

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/note-patiently-persevere-for-allahs.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-three-clear-signs-that-you-married.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/note-good-muslim-man-who-respects-his.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-five-signs-that-your-husband-does.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/note-patiently-understand-and-empathize.html 

https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

Note: Seven Signs That You Are An Introvert Even If You Can Be Talkative Sometimes

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📑 Seven signs that you're actually an introvert even if you seem outspoken in some social gatherings: 

1] You don't easily get disappointed when an appointment or outing is cancelled. Staying in, browsing the web, reading informative articles, taking quality naps, and spending time with your family or cats indoors sound more appealing than unwillingly socializing. 

2] You'd rather read a book, discover new information online, and use your cellphone for one hour than spend more than thirty minutes aimlessly talking to strangers whom you're not eager to befriend. 

3] Usually in a gathering, meeting or conference, you're one of the first ones to leave once the purpose of assembling has been accomplished. 

4] Even in the comfort of your own home, when attending a webinar or group video call, you hesitate to turn on your webcam. If keeping it on is mandatory during the online class or lecture, you reluctantly switch it on with a mask and the lights off in the background or while the camera lens is directed towards the ceiling, wall or any object besides your uninterested face. 

5] You generally write and type more than you speak. If you have an interesting idea, opinion or discovery to share, writing several paragraphs about it is much easier than expounding it vocally with one sentence or a few phrases being sufficient.

6] While you've behaved awkwardly in a lot of social settings, gradually you have learned to embrace your quirkiness and awkwardness. 

7] As a Muslim, you wouldn't describe yourself as "lonely" but reclusive and independent while always trusting Allah the Almighty and believing that there are noble angels nearby recording your actions and statements, as well as jinns whom you can do Da'wah to indirectly. 

✅ Some strengths of being an introvert: 

1) More time to reflect and focus on improving yourself. Less chances to gossip about others with toxic people. 

2) Confidently accepting it when somebody forgot to invite you. Not making it a big deal when you've been rejected or excluded. 

3) Enjoying inner joy, peace and tranquility when solitude comes with opportunities to spend more time with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala instead of absorbing people's lies, deceitful flattery, unreasonable bragging, misleading rumors, demotivating complaints, fake news and insignificant discussions which oppose your values. 

~•~

📖 Ibn Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer who mixes with the people and endures their harm with patience has a greater reward than one who does not mix with the people nor endures their harm with patience."

Source: Musnad Ahmed 22588

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Ahmed Shakir 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said: "A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."

Source: Rawdat Al-‘Uqalā 56 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/07/poem-not-lonely-since-allah-is-with-me.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-whats-it-like-being-muslim.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-to-socialize-and-be-friendly-or.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/note-when-to-have-shyness.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/08/note-tips-on-how-extroverts-and.html 

Poem: Opposing What shaytan Wants Is Why I Choose To Stay Married

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 "What is it about him that makes you not want to leave? 

What do you see in him that moves you to persevere, 

To believe that he's from Allah's gifts undoubtedly, 

And what has he done to inspire you to stubbornly 

Love him for Allah's sake as your faith levels increase?"

~•~ 

Though my spouse and I, for now, are not in the same league 

And some accuse us of incompatibility, 

I perceive him as Allah's gift to boost piety. 

Instead of seeing problems as invites to worry, 

I take them as chances to enhance fierce loyalty.

~•~ 

Firmly I believe Allah chose him for me wisely 

So we learn from each other and simultaneously 

We thrive as Muslims in this love which Allah decreed. 

I've no plans to flee nor is divorce something I seek. 

Breaking up could imply one's feelings were never real.

~•~

He may not be that handsome, romantic or wealthy, 

But nonetheless he was chosen by Allah for me. 

Through this bond I've learned to advocate polygyny, 

Apply empathy with people who have special needs, 

And accept Allah's Qadr/Destiny patiently. 

~•~ 

What is it about him that makes me not want to leave? 

The fact that he's a test from Allah the Almighty. 

By refusing to give up loving him faithfully, 

I aspire to ensure that shaytan doesn't succeed 

In disrupting marriages due to his jealousy. 

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."

Sahih Al-Bukhari 5090

In-book reference: Book 67 Hadith 28

USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 27 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-three-signs-that-your-marriage-is.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-five-signs-that-your-husband-is.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-some-advice-on-how-to-solve.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/poem-countless-ways-that-my-dear.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/07/poem-love-with-ocean-of-emotions.html