Tips: Some Advice On How To Logically Respond To Users' Refusal To Answer Your Message

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: As an unemotional personality type (INTJ), how do you logically react when some users leave your messages on "seen" mode and they didn't answer you in a way that you'd want them to, especially if the recipients of your announcements or questions are colleagues, fellow teachers, or students who aren't taking online studies seriously?

📝 Answer: I would feel slightly disappointed that they didn't respond in a timely manner, but at the same time I wouldn't be very surprised because I understand that not all people on earth were blessed to enjoy proper upbringing, they may have had a miserable childhood which explains their awful lack of manners, or they're struggling with a serious personality disorder which triggers them to misbehave online and offline. Just because a person has deserved the description of being "undependable", "untrustworthy", "uncooperative", "insecure" or "irresponsible" in my opinion, doesn't mean I have to act like them nor absorb or duplicate their obnoxious misconduct. 

I'd feel glad and grateful Alhamdulillah that at least I did my job. I did what I could to carry out the tasks which were assigned for me, which are doable, and which don't go against any of the orders of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. 

If some users purposely ignored my messages, I believe that they'll be held accountable for every action they choose to do and not do. 

On Judgment Day Inn-sha-Allah all of the souls whom Allah the Most Wise has decreed that we'd encounter shall see the fruits of their toil and outcomes of how they intentionally dealt with Allah's servants. 

One secret to not easily getting offended with people's rejection or refusal to correspond with us is to imagine ourselves being in their situation. 

📨 Maybe they didn't answer our message nor react to it because: 

1] They probably thought we're not expecting a clear response from them or they mustn't answer back out of respect according to their own perspective. Maybe they assume that a thumbs up emoji, "OK", or "yes" is rude, so no response but "seen" is their way of silently saying "roger", "alrighty", "I understood your message. Can I sleep now?".

2] Somebody else from their residence or workplace borrowed their cellphone and unknowingly opened our message thread without informing the original recipient about it, and the latter wasn't aware of our message because they received newer messages which kept them preoccupied from checking ours. 

3] It could be that they're so intimidated by our forceful personality or overwhelmed by numerous messages waiting for them in their inbox, and they got tired of finding it challenging to nervously type an immediate response with shaky or sweaty fingers. 

Alhamdulillah. What matters anyway is that they got the message and we did what we're supposed to do.

4] If they were attempting to display childish disrespect, and they're ignorant of the proper ways to interact with other humans on the web, visualize being a soccer or volleyball player who throws the ball at them only for them to get hit while standing still unresponsive. If they are incapable of responding, because they're uneducated about basic netiquette or internet etiquette, simply move on to the next recipient and don't be flabbergasted if they similarly fail to react decently. 

Thank Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for being among the minority whom He has guided to having a beautiful heart which causes a lot of people to feel envious or ethically inferior because nearly each time they talk to you, your confident vibes remind them of the pleasant qualities they lack. 

5] Or maybe they noticed our message but in the midst of typing a reply, something else came up, such as an emergency, they had to pray / perform Salah first, playful kids were borrowing their cellphone or laptop, or they temporarily lost internet connection, until they genuinely forgot to check our messages when the network connectivity became stable again.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan." 

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-tips-on-how-to-deal-with-users-who.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-three-tips-on-how-not-to-be-overly.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-dont-be-affected-by-what-people.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-three-ways-to-respond-to-rudeness.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/how-each-myers-briggs-type-handles-criticism/ 

Poem: If A Friend Is Worth Keeping, Then Don't Quit On Them Easily

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 If some friends bailed out or cancelled certain plans with you, 

If one said "Sorry, I can't come. I've got work to do." 

And another ignored your messages for a few 

Days without explaining why your meeting was eschewed, 

Will you forgive them or doubt if your friendship is true? 

~•~ 

Maybe this friend didn't attend your wedding due to 

Familial issues, financial problems, or bad moods, 

While the other changed their moves and acted insecure, 

Refusing to mingle with humans including you, 

As depression causes them to act rude and aloof.

~•~ 

If they're worth liking, many times they've been kind to you, 

And staying connected to them brings lots of virtues, 

Then forgiving them shouldn't be a hard thing to do. 

Be the type of friend who would determinedly refuse 

Quitting on good souls quickly because they're flawed like you. 

~•~

Tell yourself, regarding friends who cancel plans with you, 

"They've got their own families and their own tasks to do. 

I'm not their only pal. They've got other contacts too. 

To decline or accept invites they've a right to choose."

Real friends give space. Toxic ones expect too much from you.

~•~

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No Muslim servant supplicates for his brother behind his back but that the angel says: 'And for you the same.'"

Source: Sahih Muslim 2732

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Al-Bayhaqi reported: Abu Qilabah, may Allah have mercy on him, said, “If you hear something about your brother that you hate, then make an effort to obtain an excuse for him. If you do not find an excuse, then say to yourself: 'Perhaps my brother has an excuse I do not know.'”

Source: Hilyat Al-Awliyā’ 2485 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/poem-were-here-to-serve-allah-not.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/poem-true-friends-who-love-you-for.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-concerning-loved-ones-and-friends.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/tips-advice-on-how-to-deal-with-loved.html 

Note: A Person Having Lots Of Children Isn't Always An Indicator That Allah The Almighty Loves Them

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Some weeks ago while browsing around social media, before deciding to delete the Instagram account, I stumbled upon the Instagram feed of one of my Pakistani former classmates from Middle East International School back in Riyadh city. On her profile she loudly stated that she was a "mommy of twins" while another acquaintance who is a few years older than me emphasized on her main page that she's a mom of eight kids. Meanwhile, one of the parents here (MashaAllah) is blessed with ten kids at the moment, my husband's parents are blessed with twelve children all in all including himself, and the parents of two of our former teachers are blessed with fourteen kids, and they haven't mentioned anything about the number of children that Allah the Almighty bestowed upon them. One of my cousins got married in her early twenties and after being blessed by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala with two daughters she's currently pregnant with twins. She and her husband are around 25 or 26 years old. MashaAllah. 

As I encounter different types of parents and notice various family sizes, I recall that somewhere around the world are still a large number of individuals who are married yet they don't plan on having kids or they're infertile. Another group of people, despite being a minority, seem to be wholeheartedly contented with not entering marriage life, either because they're avoiding the huge responsibility in being a dutiful spouse or they would much rather enjoy flawless romance in Jannah Paradise. 

Whether you are childless, incapable of giving birth, or you're a loving parent of just one child, your worth as a Muslim isn't measured by how many children you bring up or adopt nor by how stable your marriage is. 

A person having lots of kids isn't always an indicator that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala loves them. There may have been cases where some parents were murdered by their own children, their kids turned into belligerent criminals, or they were sent away to old age homes or elderly care centers by the so-called adults whom they looked after since they were babies. 

Your Taqwa (fear of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala along with steadfast trust in Him) and your firm faith/Imaan are what can determine your soul's actual worth. The stronger your connection is with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, the more noteworthy and special you are to Him, regardless of whether you have kids or not. 

One of the most renowned scholars and writers in Islamic history, Ibn Taymiyyah (Allah yarhamhu. Ameen.) never actually married nor had kids of his own, yet hundreds of righteous souls worldwide regularly include him in their Du'as or at least benefit from his writings and beneficial knowledge which he generously left behind for Allah's sake. 

Allah the Most Merciful knows best.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Look to those below you and do not look at those above you, for it is the best way not to belittle the favors of Allah."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6125 

Sahih Muslim 2963

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim  

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives another but that Allah increases his honor, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah but that Allah raises his status."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2588

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith and envy do not combine within a believing servant."

In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith are never combined in the heart of a servant."

Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-be-grateful-to-allah-and-avoid.html https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-dont-compare-your-life-journey-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-true-wealth-is-in-faithimaan-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-what-you-can-do-to-avoid-feeling.html 

Note: Marriage Life Survey

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 •[ Marriage life survey ]• 

1] How old were you and your husband when you both married? 

🔹 I was 20 years old while my husband was 28. 

2] In three ways how are you and your husband so different? 

🔹 My MBTI personality type is INTJ while his is ESFJ. Alhamdulillah I was born in Saudi Arabia while he grew up in Southern Philippines. While I enjoy desserts, he prefers salty edibles. 

3] Mention three aspects that make you and your husband nearly similar to each other? 

🔹 We both aren't fans of corn (mais). The jobs we wanted when we were still at school aren't precisely the occupations we have at the moment. If I'm not mistaken, my husband was initially interested in becoming a pilot but then after some time decided to be employed as a medical doctor. As for me, I aspired to major in psychology back then but Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala planned that I'd focus on studying more about Islam. Alhamdulillah my husband and I similarly enjoy helping others out whenever we're given the chance to assist and advise. 

4] What is one funny or interesting thing you can't forget about your wedding?

🔹 There wasn't any wedding cake as we wanted to keep the joyful occasion closer to the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam. I remember my husband trying to feed me pancit bihon (noodles) while I felt awkward as I wasn't accustomed to being fed by another adult. 

5] Who did your makeup on your wedding day? 

🔹 A Visayan I think beautician who was hired to apply cosmetics on the brides (it was a mass wedding, with three grooms and three brides). Since I didn't want to look clownish, I later on erased half of the heavy makeup which she applied. 

6] After marrying each other for Allah's sake as a number of years have passed by, how are you and your husband different from when you were single? 

🔹 Alhamdulillah, with Allah's Will, my husband played a huge role in inspiring me to quit feeling insecure about my weight and body image. Through him Alhamdulillah I've learned to be more confident, understanding of people with special needs, and appreciative of actual inner beauty. I've seen him gradually progress as well Alhamdulillah, for instance he reads from the Noble Qur'an more often than before, avoids staring at non-mahram females as much as he can, and he doesn't wear neck chains anymore. 

7] What advice can you briefly give to Muslim wives and husbands to ensure that their marriages can thrive in both worlds? 

🔹 Always do everything sincerely for the sake of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala with dedicated patience / sabr and consistent gratitude / shukr. Understand that perfection and complete happiness can only be found in Jannah Paradise. Include your spouse in your Du'as regularly and remind yourself that you married a human being, so don't be surprised if some of his actions upset you occasionally. True love for Allah's sake doesn't give up that easily. Instead of comparing your soulmate's development to other individuals, contentedly concentrate on the countless blessings of your unique love story.

~•~ 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O young men, if you are able to support a wife, get married. Verily, it lowers the gaze and guards chastity. Whoever is not able to do so, he must fast as it will restrain his passions (desires)."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1806 

Sahih Muslim 1400

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-my-brief-love-story-and-allahs.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-why-i-dont-get-tired-of-loving-my.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/note-survey-on-love-and-marriage.html 

Note: Seven Types Of Temporary People And How To Deal With Their Departure

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Seven types of temporary people we meet in this temporal life, and how to deal with their departure: 

1📨 People who are like chewing gum, whose presence we enjoy for a limited time period. Once we get tired of being around them or when they lose their flavor, we easily discard them as they're no longer useful, purposeful, or beneficial to us. (Example↪️ Some of our teachers who taught subjects which we didn't really find interesting, classmates and schoolmates whose life goals differ from ours.) 

✅ How to deal with discarded packs of gum: Crying over them would make one look irrational. Patiently accept Allah's Qadr/Destiny and move on, aware that you can purchase or receive new ones Inn-sha-Allah in the future if you pass by a store or street vendor selling them. 

2📨 People who are like dust or sand particles, whose faces and vibes haven't proven to be meaningful in your life at all. (Example↪️ Salespeople, shoppers and pedestrians whom you notice when outdoors.) 

✅ How to deal with granules which carry no purpose in your life: If you can't plant flowers or trees with them, or even enjoy making sandcastles out of them, then don't worry about them. They have their own set of people who were destined by Allah the Most Wise to network with them, and it's perfectly alright if you're not among them. 

3📨 People who are like thorns, staples or thumbtacks which you clumsily step on, and their disappearance brings peace and relief. (Example↪️ Employers, colleagues and neighbors who act like troublesome bullies or internet trolls who post offensive comments because they abhor their unhappy selves.) 

✅ How to deal with unwelcome troublemakers: Stand firm for Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and don't let their nonsensical insults affect you. Carefully avoid them for Allah's sake or at least keep your encounters as few as possible. 

4📨 People who are like synthetic or artificial flowers. While having lots of them can make you appear "cool", "popular", "likable", "charismatic" and "intriguing", staying connected to these types doesn't add any noteworthy value to your faith/Imaan. They can't teach you anything valuable nor are they eager to learn more about Islam. (Example↪️ So-called "friends" on Facebook and acquaintances who are superficially friendly.) 

✅ How to deal with disposable plastics: If you can't benefit from such decorations or there's no significant role for them in your life, gladly move on and thank Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for the lessons you've learned through them. Nonetheless, still maintain good manners with them because you're a kindhearted Muslim.

5📨 People who behave like leeches, who drain you emotionally and haven't done a single act of kindness ever since you first met. (Example↪️ Actual narcissists who feel so entitled to earn your loyalty while they themselves aren't trustworthy, and who expect you to spoil them with gifts and freebies while it's clear they're jealous of you secretly.) 

✅ How to deal with toxic people and jealous frenemies: Be grateful to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala that He kept you far away from their negative influence. Patiently look forward to building new connections with better souls 

Inn-sha-Allah in the future. 

6📨 People who are like gigantic signboards containing symbols and text written in a language which you can't decipher. (Example↪️ Participants who attend a conference or online workshops with you, and you haven't found any reason to connect with them because your souls' energies don't align with each other.) 

✅ How to deal with complete strangers: Just as their lack of interest in connecting with you doesn't necessarily mean they're bad people, your indifference to their existence isn't an implication that you're morally deplorable. Acknowledge the fact that Allah the Most Loving didn't select them to be a part of your circle. 

7📨 People who are like mirrors but turned into shattered pieces of glass when the trust between you was destroyed. (Example↪️ Former friends whom you thought you could trust or ex-friends who abandoned you as prideful ego prevented them from accepting your apology.) 

✅ After three courageous attempts of trying to reconcile with them, stop forcing yourself to fix something that is irrevocably broken. Admit, with rewarding Sabr/patience, that what happened occurred according to Allah's Will, and nothing on earth can take place if Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala doesn't want it. Confidently learn from your mistakes. Don't repeat them with others. 

Understand that people coming to your life only for them to exit after some time is an important reminder that Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala is the Only One Whom we can rely on at all times.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638 

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is a mirror to his faithful brother. He protects him against loss and defends him behind his back." 

Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, 'The believer is a mirror to his brother. If he sees something wrong in him, he should correct it.' 

Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 239 

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/note-allah-never-leaves-let-people-come.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-as-long-as-we-have-allahs-love-we.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-what-you-can-do-when-you-discover.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-theres-always-something-to-learn.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-how-to-move-on-from-broken.html