Tips: Five Types Of Secrets Which Human Friends Don't Need To Know

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Five types of secrets which you should never confess to any human friend or acquaintance, and it is wiser to keep such worries between you and Allah the Almighty while saying Du'a: 

1] Your feelings of attraction, whether intense or ambivalent, for somebody of the opposite or same gender. 

🚫 Why confiding to your friend about this would be a bad idea: They could start distancing themselves from you to avoid fitna, or if the attraction is mutual you could gradually slip into the major sin of zina (fornication / adultery), or they could use it as hot topic for gossip.

2] Strange dreams which some individuals could easily ridicule or joke about. 

🚫 Why it's generally safer to never narrate your lucid dreams and visions to other humans: They could misinterpret the meanings behind those dreams, a lot of which are blessings from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala if you have a strong connection with Him, and those people may give you wrong advice regarding what you described, or if they're jealous of you in general they could plot against you to prevent you from reaching your goals. 

3] Atrocious acts you did to others or an inappropriate decision you've made concerning another Muslim, or anybody, behind their back. 

🚫 Why your past wrongs done against others don't need to be confessed to them: Besides the fact you're a Muslim while they are not priests, some of them may change how they perceive you as soon as you disclose all the bad things you did to them or said about them previously. To protect your friendship for Allah's sake, seek Allah's Forgiveness consistently, include your friends in your loving Du'as and perform kind actions occasionally to compensate for how you misbehaved formerly. 

4] Your struggles with depression or specific personality disorders while your intent is not to seek advice but solely to complain without finding solutions to problems. 

🚫 Why constantly expecting people to show you empathy while forgetting the fact that Allah the Most Loving hears and listens to you all the time isn't from good manners of a striving patient Muslim: Apart from inconsiderately acting as if you're the only person on earth with loads of obligations and puzzles to solve, such selfish behavior is almost as unreasonable, disrespectful, and illogical as a bunch of distraught students beseeching other schoolmates for tips when their teacher very clearly instructed that if they have any questions or require assistance they can directly consult him/her anytime.

5] Your interest or eagerness to marry your friend's spouse. 

🚫 Why loudly expressing your willingness to share your friend's husband could spoil your friendship: She could feel less safe and secure in your presence the moment you divulge such sensitive information, or even if she's fine with polygyny she may realize that you're not somebody whom she can count on at all, because instead of lowering your gaze here you are checking out the man whom she married for Allah's sake. If you're unable to stop yourself from purposely staring at what you're not supposed to stare at, how do you expect her to trust you with even more serious issues? 

Patience with the frustration of staying quiet about private matters, but your well-being and faith/Imaan stay safe, is better and more manageable than struggling to be patient with the bad outcomes of confessing your secrets which were spread due to impatience.

~•~ 

📖 Mu'adh Ibn Jabal RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, you will continue to be safe as long as you remain silent. If you speak, it will be recorded for you or against you."

Source: Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabīr 16591

Grade: Hasan li ghayrihi according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan." 

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-allah-knows-you-have-strength-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-trust-allah-almighty-and-strive-to.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/poem-when-you-feel-like-complaining-cry.html 

Poem: Some Advice On How To Deal With Missing A Muslim Who Died

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Advice to the bereft and those still trying to deal 

With missing somebody whom they talked to frequently, 

With the demise of a loved one, close friend or colleague, 

And with grief that comes with denying reality 

As recalling them feels as if they were just a dream: 

~•~ 

Firstly, embrace with patience Allah's Qadr/Decree. 

Acknowledge the fact that dunya is temporary. 

Every soul and living being whom Allah decrees 

Us to meet in destined ways will die eventually. 

The One Who never dies is Allah the Almighty. 

~•~ 

When some relatives pass away, when some colleagues leave, 

And when the souls of your friends depart from their bodies, 

Know that their lifespan and the date when they'd be deceased 

Were already decreed by Allah the Almighty. 

None can stop Allah if He wants someone's life to cease. 

~•~ 

When you come across people who remind you slightly 

Of loved ones or acquaintances who died recently, 

Or see their empty seat, or nostalgic memories 

Of them sadden you, shed tears but don't weep unduly. 

Weeping excessively shows one doubts Allah's Mercy. 

~•~

Whenever you miss a Muslim whom you previously 

Spoke to often before they died unexpectedly, 

Kindly mention them in your prayers regularly, 

Asking Allah to forgive them, accept their good deeds, 

And that you reunite in Jannah eventually. 

~•~ 

📖 Ibn 'Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhuma from his father that the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The deceased is punished in his grave for the wailing done over him." (Avoid wailing or excessive crying over those who've returned to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala.)

Reference: Sahih Al-Bukhari 1292

In-book reference: Book 23, Hadith 51

USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 2, Book 23, Hadith 379

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Ibn Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: A man said, "O Messenger of Allah, which of the believers is the best?" The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Those with the best character." The man said, "Which of the believers is the wisest?" The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Those who remember death often and have best prepared for it with good deeds; those are the wisest."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4259

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani  

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/tips-good-deeds-that-benefit-dead-in.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-dear-muslim-kids-whove-been.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/poem-patiently-cope-with-death-of-loved.html 

Note: As Much As Possible Avoid Suspecting A Muslim's Niyyah Intention

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Oftentimes it can be difficult for a servant to determine the kind of niyyah/intention they make behind an action, so what gives them the right to have absolute certainty regarding the intentions of Allah's creations? Who are you to feel so sure that a Muslim is doing a good deed to show off or impress Allah's servants when you haven't inspected thoroughly all of their thoughts, feelings and situation? Instead of suspecting a Muslim's motives and obsessively criticizing them without valid evidence, focus on your own shortcomings and self-development.

📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man does not accuse another man of wickedness or disbelief except that it will be turned against him, if his companion is innocent."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5698

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Bukhari 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-avoid-false-assumptions-leave.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-avoid-unjust-assumption-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/poem-avoid-unjust-assumptions.html 

Tips: Some Advice On How To Logically Respond To Users' Refusal To Answer Your Message

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: As an unemotional personality type (INTJ), how do you logically react when some users leave your messages on "seen" mode and they didn't answer you in a way that you'd want them to, especially if the recipients of your announcements or questions are colleagues, fellow teachers, or students who aren't taking online studies seriously?

📝 Answer: I would feel slightly disappointed that they didn't respond in a timely manner, but at the same time I wouldn't be very surprised because I understand that not all people on earth were blessed to enjoy proper upbringing, they may have had a miserable childhood which explains their awful lack of manners, or they're struggling with a serious personality disorder which triggers them to misbehave online and offline. Just because a person has deserved the description of being "undependable", "untrustworthy", "uncooperative", "insecure" or "irresponsible" in my opinion, doesn't mean I have to act like them nor absorb or duplicate their obnoxious misconduct. 

I'd feel glad and grateful Alhamdulillah that at least I did my job. I did what I could to carry out the tasks which were assigned for me, which are doable, and which don't go against any of the orders of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. 

If some users purposely ignored my messages, I believe that they'll be held accountable for every action they choose to do and not do. 

On Judgment Day Inn-sha-Allah all of the souls whom Allah the Most Wise has decreed that we'd encounter shall see the fruits of their toil and outcomes of how they intentionally dealt with Allah's servants. 

One secret to not easily getting offended with people's rejection or refusal to correspond with us is to imagine ourselves being in their situation. 

📨 Maybe they didn't answer our message nor react to it because: 

1] They probably thought we're not expecting a clear response from them or they mustn't answer back out of respect according to their own perspective. Maybe they assume that a thumbs up emoji, "OK", or "yes" is rude, so no response but "seen" is their way of silently saying "roger", "alrighty", "I understood your message. Can I sleep now?".

2] Somebody else from their residence or workplace borrowed their cellphone and unknowingly opened our message thread without informing the original recipient about it, and the latter wasn't aware of our message because they received newer messages which kept them preoccupied from checking ours. 

3] It could be that they're so intimidated by our forceful personality or overwhelmed by numerous messages waiting for them in their inbox, and they got tired of finding it challenging to nervously type an immediate response with shaky or sweaty fingers. 

Alhamdulillah. What matters anyway is that they got the message and we did what we're supposed to do.

4] If they were attempting to display childish disrespect, and they're ignorant of the proper ways to interact with other humans on the web, visualize being a soccer or volleyball player who throws the ball at them only for them to get hit while standing still unresponsive. If they are incapable of responding, because they're uneducated about basic netiquette or internet etiquette, simply move on to the next recipient and don't be flabbergasted if they similarly fail to react decently. 

Thank Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for being among the minority whom He has guided to having a beautiful heart which causes a lot of people to feel envious or ethically inferior because nearly each time they talk to you, your confident vibes remind them of the pleasant qualities they lack. 

5] Or maybe they noticed our message but in the midst of typing a reply, something else came up, such as an emergency, they had to pray / perform Salah first, playful kids were borrowing their cellphone or laptop, or they temporarily lost internet connection, until they genuinely forgot to check our messages when the network connectivity became stable again.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan." 

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-tips-on-how-to-deal-with-users-who.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-three-tips-on-how-not-to-be-overly.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-dont-be-affected-by-what-people.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-three-ways-to-respond-to-rudeness.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/how-each-myers-briggs-type-handles-criticism/ 

Poem: If A Friend Is Worth Keeping, Then Don't Quit On Them Easily

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 If some friends bailed out or cancelled certain plans with you, 

If one said "Sorry, I can't come. I've got work to do." 

And another ignored your messages for a few 

Days without explaining why your meeting was eschewed, 

Will you forgive them or doubt if your friendship is true? 

~•~ 

Maybe this friend didn't attend your wedding due to 

Familial issues, financial problems, or bad moods, 

While the other changed their moves and acted insecure, 

Refusing to mingle with humans including you, 

As depression causes them to act rude and aloof.

~•~ 

If they're worth liking, many times they've been kind to you, 

And staying connected to them brings lots of virtues, 

Then forgiving them shouldn't be a hard thing to do. 

Be the type of friend who would determinedly refuse 

Quitting on good souls quickly because they're flawed like you. 

~•~

Tell yourself, regarding friends who cancel plans with you, 

"They've got their own families and their own tasks to do. 

I'm not their only pal. They've got other contacts too. 

To decline or accept invites they've a right to choose."

Real friends give space. Toxic ones expect too much from you.

~•~

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No Muslim servant supplicates for his brother behind his back but that the angel says: 'And for you the same.'"

Source: Sahih Muslim 2732

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Al-Bayhaqi reported: Abu Qilabah, may Allah have mercy on him, said, “If you hear something about your brother that you hate, then make an effort to obtain an excuse for him. If you do not find an excuse, then say to yourself: 'Perhaps my brother has an excuse I do not know.'”

Source: Hilyat Al-Awliyā’ 2485 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/poem-were-here-to-serve-allah-not.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/poem-true-friends-who-love-you-for.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-concerning-loved-ones-and-friends.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/tips-advice-on-how-to-deal-with-loved.html