بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين

بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين
May Allah the Almighty grant us more beneficial knowledge, accept our good deeds, forgive our mistakes, protect us from fitna, and join us with the righteous believers in Jannatul Ferdaus. Ameen.

Tuesday, August 2, 2022

Tips: Eleven Ways To Respond To "Nobody Likes You"

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 
📝 Eleven ways to respond to a delusional narcissist or jealous bully who claims "nobody loves you. Why don't you do the world a favor and kill yourself?" 
1] Is that your name, "Nobody"? Or is that your parent's name? Because I'm not interested in "Nobody".
2] FYI (for your information), I'm not a mirror. Deliver those words of affirmation to your reflection someplace else, please. 
3] Are you talking to me? What makes you so certain that I value your nonsensical statements and irrational opinions? 
4] You say that as though you're aware of how every single living being on earth thinks and feels. Quit acting as if you are omnipotent. Stop overestimating yourself. It's not attractive. 
5] So by stating that, are you training yourself to be the next Adolf Hitler? If so, that would make you an imbecile. You should be ashamed of yourself.  
6] Why are you terribly concerned about me being liked or disliked by people? Are you that infatuated with me? If so, the feeling is not mutual. 
7] Is that the title of your future autobiography? It's ludicrously lengthy.
8] And? Are you going to grant me a million dollars or the world's treasures if I act as though your empty words mean anything to me? 
9] Are you sure you know me? The only thing you prove by saying such nonsense is your absolute ignorance or lack of good manners. I feel sorry for you, that your parents failed at bringing you up well. 
10] Is that your special mantra which you tell yourself on a regular basis? No wonder you're morally pathetic. 
11] Am I supposed to award you with a certificate that congratulates you on being "the most obnoxious and unethical person on earth"? You print it yourself. 
~•~
Confidently staying silent or indifferent to a bully's offensive jokes, while seeking Allah's Guidance, could be a wiser and more effective reaction. The less you pay attention to what your enemies babble about you, the more inner strength and calm you obtain, and 
Inn-sha-Allah you receive rewards for striving to have patience with insecure individuals who are at war with themselves.
~•~
📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)." 
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albaani 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 
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Note: On Maintaining Good Manners Even With Non-Muslims

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 
📝 Since being born and raised in Saudi Arabia, I never had an actual non-Muslim friend or acquaintance who I was close to. In one of the international schools I studied, I had a Russian classmate who wasn't Muslim that time. I recall an incident when I went inside our classroom I greeted my Arab classmates then upon reaching her my instant reaction was to simply pat her head and smile, because back then I thought that handshakes are only allowed between Muslims of the same gender. However I gave her a reluctant handshake when she confronted me saying 'Mariam! You shook all of their hands but you just patted me on the head? I'm not a puppy.'
Still ignorantly having some wrong assumptions, when we moved to the Philippines, in the beginning I behaved distant and aloof towards non-Muslims in general. So one time I had a petty argument with my husband when he wanted to offer some drinks and biscuits to the laborers (construction workers) who were hired to work for us. I told my husband we didn't need to give them any snacks since they're not even Muslims. He said they're humans and we should be kind enough to feed them. That's one of the reasons why I love him for Allah's sake, he has taught me to be more tolerant and understanding. Alhamdulillah the more we learn from our mistakes and by observing others' positive actions, whether Muslim or non-Muslim, the more we can apply our lessons learned and deal with others more tactfully so genuine seekers of truth would be more interested in learning about Islam. The beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam will always be the best example for us to follow, especially since he was a mercy sent from Allah the Almighty to all of mankind.
If a non-Muslim greets us with the salaam, we respond with "wa alaikum" meaning "and to you" instead of giving them no response. After receiving our items and paying at the cashier's counter, we can say 'thank you' or 'salamat' rather than walking away without saying a single word. If one of the staff kindly assisted you in carrying your goods and calling for a taxi, give them a tip, even 15 or 20 pesos, with Allah's Will, can soften their hearts and make them view Muslims in general more positively. When traveling by plane and it so happens your seatmate is a non-Muslim, start a friendly chat with them until you open a dialogue, not debate, about an introduction to Islam. If you encounter non-Muslim beggars on the streets, give them some money or something they can eat. If you have extra money, tell the shopkeeper or taxi/pedicab driver to keep the change. Not many of them earn sufficient salary to help their needy families, so that additional payment you offer can bring a smile to their face. Some of them may want to research on Islam after being impressed by your generosity. Good manners in Islam aren't exclusive for those believers whom we like, but it's treating everyone as fairly as we can, even with those whom we may dislike. Showing others respect doesn't oblige us to agree with all of their ideologies, but we demonstrate respect by respecting ourselves enough to maintain good ethics, staying away from behaving like tyrannical bullies who act rude when overcome by envy or feelings of insecurity.
As Muslims Alhamdulillah, if some of us can't conduct Islamic seminars and religious classes regularly, the least we could do is to do Da'wah indirectly through striving to maintain noble manners taught by the noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam who dealt with everyone he met wisely and mercifully. 
~•~
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe (not guilty of backbiting, telling lies, and deliberately committing injustice). The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah the Almighty) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."
Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut 
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Sunday, July 31, 2022

Poem: To My Dear Maternal Aunt, Thank You For All Your Gifts And Sympathy

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Dear auntie Ino, aunt 'Aisha, in her seventies, 
Some loving words from me Mariam, your maternal niece 
Who likes to ask questions and is fine if she seems weird, 
And who, like you, has strength to welcome polygyny: 
Thank you, dear aunt, for your gifts, advice and sympathy. 
~•~
Thank you, beloved aunt 'Aisha, for indirectly 
Teaching me how to deal with people more tactfully, 
For inspiring me to trust Allah the Almighty 
And to increase one's good deeds like fasting frequently, 
Praying Tahajjud, and often doing charity. 
~•~
Alhamdulillah, through you I've learned that bravery
Doesn't need to be loud, practicing humility 
Augments inner joy and proves genuine self-esteem, 
And even if most loved ones showcase hostility, 
As long as Allah always hears us, we're not lonely. 
~•~
Dear auntie Ino, we've enjoyed your sweet company, 
For not serving enough dishes I'm truly sorry, 
Even my husband witnesses that I can't really
Cook well and I too admit that my culinary
Skills are lousy. Thank you for staying patient with me.
~•~
Dear aunt, may Allah make you from those with whom He's Pleased, 
Accept your righteous actions done with sincerity, 
Grant you a better home in Jannah with endless peace, 
Guide your kids back to serving Allah devotedly, 
And keep us firm upon the right 'Aqeedah / belief. Ameen.
~•~ 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives except that Allah increases his honor, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah except that Allah raises his status."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2588, Grade: Sahih 
📖 Jubayr Ibn Mut'im RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The one who severs his family ties will not enter Paradise."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5638, Sahih Muslim 2556 
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 
📖 Ibn Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, which of the believers is best?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “Those with the best character.” The man said, “Which of the believers is the wisest?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Those who remember death often and have best prepared for it with good deeds; those are the wisest."
Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4259
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani 
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Saturday, July 30, 2022

Tips: Seven Secrets To Not Feeling Bothered When Uninvited

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

🗒️ Seven secrets and tips from an INTJ to not feeling bothered at all when you discover that some friends, coworkers, classmates or relatives attended a gathering without you:
1] Remind yourself that you weren't the only one who wasn't invited. Think of those who are connected or acquainted with the hosts while they too couldn't attend the event probably because they were busy, reside in a different city, or they, like you, weren't included in the plans because the hosts' budget wasn't enough to cover the costs of welcoming everybody they know. 
2] When you recall the current state of many individuals worldwide who are imprisoned, confined in hospitals, strive to survive as refugees, work as street beggars, or who struggle with social anxiety disorder so they'd rather stay indoors than mingle with numerous mortals, you feel relieved and realize that not being invited to certain events isn't really a big deal. 
3] To preserve your emotional well-being, don't bother stalking the social media posts of those who attended the gatherings which you weren't invited to nor asking any of the attendees to describe how the event went. Behave as though the gathering never occurred in the first place. 
Frequently paying attention to someone's online content shows you care about them. Why care about a gathering in which you weren't invited?  
4] As a Muslim, patiently accept Allah's Plans which always take over His servants' wishes. No matter how willing or interested you are in attending an event, if that occasion isn't part of Allah's Destiny for you it would never happen despite some of His slaves trying to ensure it does. Who you meet on earth and which places you get to visit have already been decreed by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. Why whine about something that's not meant to be yours? 
5] Acknowledge that if you were to conduct your own gathering or meeting for a cause, you'd also exclude particular individuals either because you believe their presence won't improve the event in any way, there's a huge likelihood that they could disrupt the program's flow somehow, or you're not very close to each other yet that they deserve an insistent invitation. Regardless of the reasons behind their reluctance to accommodate you - for instance, maybe their deep-seated envy of you compelled them to exclude you as they feared your confidence would steal their limelight - refuse to be controlled by ugly ego and refrain from acting like a self-entitled narcissist who assumes that everything should be in your favor twenty-four-seven. 
6] Regard your not being invited as an enormous blessing in disguise, a protection from fitna, and encouragement to prefer the eternal joys in Jannah Paradise. Perhaps Allah the Most Wise didn't want you to participate in some inappropriate discussions or silly arguments with some guests had you attended the gathering, or He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala didn't want you to flatter anybody at that event who isn't worthy of your compliments and appreciation. 
7] Appreciate all the meaningful tasks you got to do or lessons you've learned instead of attending the gathering. Maybe you weren't invited to join the group, but at least you gained inner strength and rewards for your patience and contentment with Allah's Love. Maybe you couldn't network with the individuals whom you looked forward to interviewing, but at least you didn't need to put up with overhearing narcissists' absurd lies about themselves, and you're reminded that Alhamdulillah as long as you have Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala guiding you, you can thrive 
Inn-sha-Allah in both worlds without constant validation from Allah's servants. 
If you won't instantly turn into a multimillionaire by attending an event, and if it's not an obvious shortcut to seeing Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and His noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, then not being invited to such occasion really isn't something worthwhile to lose sleep over.
~•~
📖 Ibn 'Abbas RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: I was riding behind the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam when he said to me, "Young man, I will teach you some words. Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him before you. If you ask, ask from Allah. If you seek help, seek help from Allah. Know that if the nations were to gather together to benefit you, they will not benefit you unless Allah has decreed it for you. And if the nations gathered together to harm you, they will not harm you unless Allah has decreed it for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2516
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
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Tips: When Around People Who Dislike You

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Some tips on how you can behave in the presence of somebody who clearly doesn't like you and it's obvious that they don't have any interest in trying to get to know you better, whether they're a colleague and you're attending a meeting, they're a schoolmate and you're in the cafeteria, or they're a relative or casual acquaintance and you're both guests at the same wedding:
1] Patiently accept the fact that Allah the Almighty didn't destine you two to get along harmoniously. You can't force individuals to connect if Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala doesn't want such connection to take place. 
2] Maintain good manners and etiquettes, as much as possible, with every soul whom Allah the Most Wise decrees you'd meet. Disliking a person for some of their attributes or actions which you disagree with shouldn't provoke you to act like an oppressive tyrant. 
3] You have every right to decide not to sit near individuals whom you know despise you, especially if you're uncomfortable with their vibes and/or you don't wish to overhear irrelevant conversations. If in some cases you must be seated beside someone who despises you as much as you loathe them, do whatever you can to avoid unwelcome physical contact and refrain from looking at them whenever they speak to others, to signal you're uninterested in what they have to say and you don't desire any drama. 
4] During breaks or intermissions, converse with somebody whom you  actually care about for Allah's sake, read some beneficial writings or do some productive tasks on your cellphone or laptop, or temporarily leave the area where the individuals who can't stand you are, then return when the necessary activities resume. Don't oblige yourself to act concerned or curious about some people if begrudgingly chatting with them is more disadvantageous than uplifting. 
5] Avoiding pointless interactions with individuals who hold a grudge against you is almost similar to intentionally staying away from touching objects at a store which aren't useful for you. Don't feel apologetic or guilty about your indifference towards them, specifically if most of their goals and values contradict yours. 
While we can't control how Allah's servants view us or feel about us, we have the freewill to choose how to respond to their feelings and perceptions. Every action we humans do on purpose has its consequences, and Allah's Justice always prevails if not in this fleeting world then on the Day of Judgment. 
Incompatibility mustn't cause us to commit sins such as deceiving, backbiting, stealing, denying people what is rightfully theirs, and oppressing.
~•~
📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Fear Allah wherever you are, follow a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it, and behave well with good character towards the people."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1987
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109
Sahih Muslim 2638 
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 
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