بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين

بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين
May Allah the Almighty grant us more beneficial knowledge, accept our good deeds, forgive our mistakes, protect us from fitna, and join us with the righteous believers in Jannatul Ferdaus. Ameen.

Sunday, January 1, 2023

Note: On Patience With My Dear Husband And Pickiness When It Comes To Choosing My Close Friends

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: As an INTJ, why is it so easy for you to forgive your husband in spite of his numerous mistakes or frequent delays in answering many of your messages while you become completely disinterested in befriending certain individuals after they disappoint you more than thrice? Aren't they human beings also who deserve a lot of chances for reconciliation? 
📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best. It's because I'm very selective when it comes to choosing who I can regard as close friends for Allah's sake. I imagine my husband being a precious diamond and valuable gift granted to me by Allah the Most Wise, as a trust which I should strive to keep and carry with me on this special journey to our Creator Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. In contrast, the people whom I occasionally meet and communicate with are like bamboo stems or long rods made of metal or wood which could be useful for constructing bridges leading to a particular goal - in a way that is meaningful and positive, not manipulative. If a person turns out to be insincere and unreliable, they'd be like a torn down plant or damaged tool which isn't useful despite multiple attempts to restore it. No peace can be found in trying to reconnect with somebody whose disconcerting presence often reminds you of their selfishness, bad motives and unreliability. Better to find a different route to your destination than to build a flimsy bridge which could result in swift destruction. 
My husband can also be likened to an incredibly expensive fountain pen given to me as a souvenir from another loved one. The writing instrument being costly but refillable and its case being decorated with pure gold cause me to feel reluctant about discarding it that easily. On the other hand, the people whom Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala wants me to interact with are like coloring pencils. If they're blunt, broken or not sharpened while I don't have a sharpener or have no reason to color anything, attempting to connect with them can be challenging, especially if one must be careful regarding colored pencils which can't color properly or don't have pigment (actual substance or significance) in them. 
My understanding of true love is to continue loving the man whom Allah the All-Knowing wisely selected as your other half and soulmate, only for Allah's sake, with patience (Sabr) and gratitude (Shukr), until one of you is brought back to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for the evaluation on how well you passed Allah's varying examinations. 
~•~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
Source: Sahih Ibn Ḥibbān 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A woman is married for four things: Her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman otherwise you will be a loser."
Sahih Al-Bukhari 5090
In-book reference: Book 67 Hadith 28
USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 27 
📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."
Source: Sahih Muslim 1467
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
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Saturday, December 31, 2022

Tips: Five Things To Avoid When Dealing With Bullies

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📝 Five things to avoid doing towards insecure or inwardly unhappy individuals who try to bully you to distract themselves from their miseries (Do not do these to sad bullies, as much as possible): 
1] Do not instruct or dare them to take their own lives. Do not do something so terrible that could cause them to feel suicidal nor say awful things to them such as "Obnoxious people like you are from the reasons why earth is currently an unpleasant place to live on. Why not do at least one productive act in your lifetime and kill yourself?" or "the entire universe would be at peace if you didn't exist. Your negative presence and despicable personality are absolutely meaningless. Kill yourself, please." 
Suicide and murder are major sins which we Muslims should avoid for Allah's sake. Only Allah the Almighty has every right to end the life of His servants anytime He chooses. 
2] Do not invent obvious lies against those bullies, even if they have lied about you several times. Spreading untruths or false rumors could eventually result in trouble, if not sooner or later in this world then perhaps in the next life. Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala knows best. 
❎ For example: If you say something like "Alicia Weirdoshaun only said those nasty nonsense as a strange coping mechanism to deal with being frequently neglected by both of her financially struggling parents who never went to high school, and she intensely despises how they're both jobless.", one or both of her parents may feel bitter towards you and some kind of feud occurs which could have been avoided.
3] Do not alter anything about yourself to appear "likeable" or "valuable" to those self-loathing bullies. Once you discover that a group of miserable trolls and clowns actually dislike you, relentlessly unfriend them and gladly disconnect from them for Allah's sake online and offline. True happiness can't be achieved by building feeble connections with fakes, pretenders and snakes. If most or all of the members of a childish clique act like useless twigs and/or dangerous leeches, unapologetically walk away. 
4] Do not copy them in their tomfoolery and absurdity. Do not turn into a bully nor become more tyrannical or troublesome than them, unless you're willing to face the bad consequences of misbehaving and confirming you're not contented with who you are.
A confused person acting disrespectful towards you, indicating their dissatisfaction with their insecurities or distressful conditions, isn't an invitation to participate in their lousy pity-party. Be a lot better than them by ignoring their nonsensical insults, and differ from their idiocy.
5] Do not stalk any of their social media posts nor thoroughly analyze any of their comments. Since those bullies have already proven to you that they can no longer be trusted, confidently refrain from giving weight to any of their unreliable statements and messages. Regard them as complete strangers whom you aren't interested in connecting with, almost in the same way you completely bypass products at grocery stores which you believe aren't essential or worthwhile for you. 
✅ Suggested ways to deal with bullies: 
1] Inform trusted loved ones and/or older adults about the bullying, without letting the bullies know. 
2] Say lots of Adhkaar and Du'a. Continue asking for guidance and help from Allah the Most Powerful while maintaining strong connection with Him Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. 
3] Avoid befriending toxic individuals as much as possible and refuse to be negatively affected by their irrational acts. 
~•~
📖 Ali Ibn Husayn RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, part of perfection in Islam is for a person to leave what does not concern him."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2318
Grade: Sahih li ghayri (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever kills himself with a piece of iron, his piece of iron in his hand will be thrust into his stomach in the fire of Hell forever and ever. Whoever drinks poison and kills himself, he will consume it in the fire of Hell forever and ever. Whoever throws himself off a mountain and kills himself, he will tumble into the fire of Hell forever and ever."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5442, Sahih Muslim 109
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe (not guilty of backbiting, telling lies, and deliberately committing injustice). The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah the Almighty) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."
Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim
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Monday, December 26, 2022

Note: Some Signs That An INTJ Perceives You As A Friend Or Potential Friend

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 


📝 Some signs that an INTJ personality type regards you as a friend or potential friend: 
1🔹 If you haven't seen each other for several years or days, they intentionally prolong conversations with you and try to ask you as many questions as they can think of about yourself to be updated with your current circumstances and because they genuinely care about your overall well-being. 
➡️ Questions like: "Where in Saudi Arabia did you stay? What other places have you visited? Who did you meet? What have you learned from your vacation? Why did you reject your ex-husband when he asked for a second chance? You're allowed to remarry him twice, you know." etc. 
2🔹 They regularly check out your social media posts even if they may not virtually react to them always. 
Example, while chatting with you through text messaging or face to face, an INTJ may say something like "I noticed from your recent posts that you established a halaal restaurant near such-and-such area. Tell me all about it so I can support you ASAP." or "Yesterday you posted about a particular item that I know my husband would be interested in purchasing. Is it still for sale?" 
3🔹 They quickly and easily stick up for you (defend your name) if they overhear anybody saying some unpleasant things about you, whether you're around the corner or absent. 
➡️ For example: "Don't say that. If she was a gold-digger, she'd recklessly overspend on branded clothes, spoil herself with unreasonably expensive cosmetics, and frequently demand her husband to increase her allowance. She truly loves him for who he is, not for his income ." 
4🔹 If you arrived from travel or they missed you, they go out of their way to offer a big hug or initiate an enthusiastic handshake instead of abruptly glancing at you with an apathetic glimpse that says "oh, it's you. Good morning and goodbye." 
5🔹 They eagerly ask you for your advice or frank opinions on many matters which concern them. 
➡️ Example: "What kind of edibles did you avoid to get so slim within a few months?", "What other tips can you share to cope with your husband's fourth marriage?", "MashaAllah. How did you become so well-off when you started your business with selling munchkin balls in your teens?" and "Recently I had a really weird dream. You and so-and-so were in it. Can I share it with you right now, then you give me your best interpretation?" 

If an INTJ so far has never requested you for advice, hugged you more than twice, backed up for you whenever critics would backbite, or discussed random topics with you numerous times and inquired about your likes and dislikes etc. or invited you to attend an Islamic lecture more than just one time, then to them you're probably another stranger, which is still fine. You too have a right to wisely select who from Allah's servants can embark with you on your journey to Jannah Paradise. 
~•~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are troops collected together. They come close upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109
Sahih Muslim 2638
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
Al-Nawawi said, “When bodies meet in the world, they come together or differ according to how they were created. The righteous will incline to the righteous, and the evil will incline to the evil.”
➡️ To discover what your MBTI type is, you're welcome to take these tests:
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Friday, December 23, 2022

Tips: Advice On How To Deal With Removal From Some Chat Groups Like A Boss

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

📑 Five thoughts to reflect on to deal with removal from online forums or chat groups like a boss, to not feel affected when some users delete you as a "participant" and "member": 
1] Alhamdulillah for so many years I've been capable of thriving without them. Why should I worry at all if these individuals who are too different from me don't want me around them? I'm not a clingy leech nor adhesive item.
2] Whether they deleted me on purpose or mistakenly, I can 
Inn-sha-Allah contentedly benefit and learn from other communities, websites and content which are way more deserving of my time and attention. If a chat group goes bye-bye, there are still tons of resources and alternatives which we can learn from. 
3] I totally understand how if I were the host or administrator of a chat group, I would delete users whom I perceive are acting inappropriately, being obnoxiously idle, or going against group harmony. It's their right to cancel my "membership" if my presence mostly worsens their inward misery. I don't intend to be a troublemaker and bully. 
4] I like to think of insecure individuals who deliberately go out of their way to exclude you every so often as "jealous" - justifiably envious of how Allah the Almighty blessed you with several gifts and blessings which He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala didn't grant them. For instance, they envy how you're dedicated, loyal to your spouse and/or creative while they are ethically below average or unproductive, or they struggled with lousy upbringing while your beloved parents are loving and well-educated. 
5] It's not a crisis if some individuals can't welcome you to a group or gathering. You'd probably do the same thing to somebody whose language is incomprehensible to you or whose actions seem uncomfortably confusing. 

Maintaining a strong or special connection with Allah the Most Wise is a lot more meaningful and rewarding than wanting approval from His imperfect servants. 
~•~
📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."
Source: Sahih Muslim 2664
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 
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Thursday, December 22, 2022

Note: My Response To "How Do You Choose Your Close Friends?"

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: Regardless of your MBTI personality type, how do you choose your friends, or when would you consider somebody as a "good friend"? 
📝 Answer: As an introvert (INTJ) I generally don't walk around actively or desperately searching for friends. I believe that it's possible
Inn-sha-Allah to thrive in both worlds without numerous long-lasting friendships, particularly if not every individual whom you're destined to meet can be regarded as completely honest and reliable. I also don't wait nor yearn for anybody to interact with me several times until they reach the point when we both consider each other as "friends". 
Alhamdulillah I'd say that while I have a lot of acquaintances of various tribes and nationalities, only a small number of them are individuals whose personal lives I genuinely care about for Allah's sake and out of that select few there could be less than a handful whom I'd regard as actual friends even if they probably perceive me as merely an acquaintance. 
How do I select my friends? Definitely not at random and not according to similarity. Just because someone is around my age, wears the niqaab when outdoors, can speak English fluently, was born in Saudi Arabia like I was or they enjoy writing poetry occasionally, it doesn't mean that I'll automatically become enthusiastic about befriending them, as if my main mission in life is to gather as many clones or carbon copies as I can to form some kind of battalion. 
What I'd usually do if I must categorize people is I would disqualify a person from being a "potential friend" once they've done any of these: 
1] if they deliberately lied to me more than once. 
2] if they caused me to waste time doing something pointless, absurd or unproductive more than once. And if they ignorantly insist that I indulge in bid'ah or polytheistic acts.
3] if they're boring conversationalists online and offline, if they don't know how to have deep conversations, if you feel as though you're tediously interviewing or investigating them whenever you attempt to have a meaningful dialogue. 
4] if I overheard them cowardly backbiting about me or criticizing any of my loved ones, especially my dear husband. 
5] if we've known each other's names for more than five years but so far neither of us have taken the initiative to spend time together outdoors at least twice. 
6] if they regularly show signs of nervousness or discomfort whenever they speak with me, as though they're guilty of something and trying to conceal it. 
7] if they have a tendency to act overly emotional and passive-aggressive, if they've complained to any of my relatives about me instead of discussing the problem with me directly - I'd regard the snitch as someone whom I can't trust anymore because any information I try to share with them could be misconstrued. 
I'd consider someone as a friend if: 
1] I openly make effort to support their halal business or hobbies whenever I can online and/or offline. 
2] I don't feel bored asking them questions about themselves and their interests etc. 
3] I oftentimes go out of my way to visit them (at least once a year), send them a message (at least once every three months or so) or ask for their advice. 
Trying to maintain connection with lots of people can drain your energy if you're an introvert. So don't be surprised if some introverts aren't very likable or approachable, specifically if amassing fans or supporters isn't one of our primary goals.
~•~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said: "A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."
Source: Rawdat Al-‘Uqalā 56
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