Note: Five Reasons Why Maintaining Friendship As Adults Can Be Tough At Times

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📝 Five reasons why maintaining friendship as adults can be challenging at times, why some adult friendships gradually dissipate: 

1] Very obvious differences in goals, interests and priorities. 

✅ For example: A woman whose husband works abroad is more likely to connect well with other wives who don't always get to see their husbands or who are similarly okay with polygyny, while she'd keep her distance from those whose presence could threaten her contentment with her marriage life whether directly or indirectly. 

2] Busyness with work and multiple projects or conflict in their schedules regarding available timings for chatting and meeting up etc. 

3] Each of them is also busy with trying her best to care for her husband, parents, child/children and families. 

4] If they are all introverts, they're probably waiting for each other or somebody to make the first move in organizing a meaningful gathering and sending out invitations.

5] They could all be equally struggling financially, so attempting to be the host of a memorable event or conducting a group outing may not be something they'd readily do on a regular basis if they're currently on a tight budget. 

✨ If you want a connection to last longer Inn-sha-Allah for Allah's sake: 

1. The intention and purpose of two friends connecting should be purely for the sake of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, not for selfish gain. 

2. Both friends must be extremely forgiving, understanding, caring, supportive and patient for Allah's sake with one another, regardless of how often they communicate face to face. 

3. None of them should be insecure and guilty of envy. Jealousy is a common reason why many potential friends drift away.

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638 

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is a mirror to his faithful brother. He protects him against loss and defends him behind his back." 

Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, 'The believer is a mirror to his brother. If he sees something wrong in him, he should correct it.' 

Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 239 

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Love whom you love moderately, perhaps he will become hateful to you someday. Hate whom you hate moderately, perhaps he will become your beloved friend someday."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1997

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Ibn Hibban reported: Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, "A righteous companion is better than solitude, and solitude is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."

Source: Rawḍat Al-‘Uqalā’ 56

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/note-allah-never-leaves-let-people-come.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-as-long-as-we-have-allahs-love-we.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-true-love-for-allahs-sake-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-theres-always-something-to-learn.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/05/note-never-expect-meaningful.html 

https://abukhadeejah.com/only-true-friends-and-righteous-companions-will-benefit-you/

Poem: Shame On You If You Guess I Get Jealous When I Don't

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Shame on them - those females older than thirty years old 

Who have a bad habit of acting morally low, 

Often maltreating those upon whom Allah bestows 

Gifts and blessings which they lack, while they haven't yet grown 

Out of their urge to bully like naughty ten-year-olds.

~•~

Shame on you, if you claim to be a "friend", while it's known 

That your envy entices you to diss to and fro 

All those who show they're "better" and disturb your ego. 

Real friends encourage each other and provide support, 

Not spoil others' joy because they themselves are not whole.

~•~

Shame on me if I doubt Allah's Wisdom, but I don't, 

If I question Allah's Way of designing this world

And His Choice to distribute certain favors untold. 

I don't doubt Allah's Justice; with certainty I know 

That some tests come in the form of scarcity or gold.

~•~

Shame on so-called "adults" who sometimes try to provoke

You to misbehave or feel upset through their foul words 

Or through revolting acts. They're so jealous that it hurts 

To see you surpassing them and improving yourself.

So they resort to gossip to tone down feeling worse.

~•~

Acting on jealousy is something true Muslims won't

Do, especially if our faith Imaan remains strong 

While we believe that Allah the Most Wise always knows 

Who from His slaves can benefit from what He bestows 

And who are better off not having what others own.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Look to those below you and do not look at those above you, for it is the best way not to belittle the favors of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala)."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6125 

Sahih Muslim 2963

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Envy consumes good deeds just as fire burns wood. Charity (Sadaqah) extinguishes sinful deeds just as water extinguishes fire. Prayer is the light of the believer and fasting is his shield from the Hellfire."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4210

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Ibn Asakir 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith and envy do not combine within a (true) believing servant."

In another narration, the noble Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith (Imaan) are never combined in the heart of a (true Muslim) servant."

Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-thank-allah-for-blessings-he-chose.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/tips-thank-allah-and-be-contented-with.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-more-contented-you-are-with-allahs.html 

https://www.salafisounds.com/ten-evil-consequences-of-envy-jealousy-by-abu-khadeejah-abdul-wahid/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/tips-its-hard-to-feel-jealous-when.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/12/tips-how-some-intjs-deal-with-jealousy.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/08/poem-tips-on-how-to-stop-comparing.html

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-envious-you-can-be-based-on-your-personality-type/

Links: PDF Document The Excellence Of Tawheed

📂 Islamic PDF document booklet "The Excellence of Tawheed

from the statements of Ibn Al-Qayyim" compiled by brother in Islam Abbas Abu Yahya. May Allah the Most Merciful have mercy on them, accept their good deeds and make them among the people of Jannatul Ferdaus with Allah's Mercy. Ameen. 

(as sadaqa jaariyah, not for sale):

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1F-XdSHYXNk-jOVpVglYnbaKby09TrcIP/view?usp=drivesdk

Note: Five Tough Wives I'm Acquainted With And Some Reasons Why Some Muslimahs Are Okay With Polygyny

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

🗒️ Question: Are you personally acquainted with any Muslimah who is a loyal wife in a polygynous marriage? What do you think is the reason behind her admirable patience in being okay with her husband remarrying?

📝 Answer: Alhamdulillah, yes, and I'm one of those contented wives who has no problem at all with polygyny. Some of the wives who are in a polygynous marriage (MashaAllah) and I've spoken to them face to face often: 

1. One of my paternal cousins (of Maranao tribe). Allah the Almighty has blessed her at the moment with five or six children (?) and they're actually good friends with their older half-siblings. 

2. One of the supportive moms here at Wisdom Islamic School (also of Maranao tribe). She's blessed as well by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala with five children if I'm not mistaken. 

3. A Muslim revert who has stayed in Saudi Arabia for several years with her husband and many kids. I admire how she's capable of remaining amazingly patient with her husband loving his other legal wives while she manages her own halal businesses. 

4. Another Muslimah revert who's blessed by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala with three sons for now (I ask Allah the Most Loving to also grant her some cute daughters in the future. Ameen.). 

5. One of my childhood friends (half-Maranao half-Maguindanaon or Iranun if I'm not mistaken) whom I grew up with in eastern Saudi Arabia (Ad-Dammam and Al-Khobar). Allah the Most Kind has blessed her with five adorable girls while her co-wife (balik Islam / Muslim revert) also has three daughters. May Allah the Most Merciful bless them with at least one son at the most ideal timing. Ameen.

Why did I specify the tribes of some of those wives? Because polygyny is not common yet among Maranaos and other Filipino tribes. In fact, polygyny is a challenge which is difficult to accept by the majority of females worldwide due to most women being influenced by fluctuating emotions most of the time. 

The more a Muslimah trusts Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and believes in Allah's Justice while she is more inclined to make logical decisions instead of being consistently controlled by unreliable feelings, the easier it is for her, with Allah's Will, to maintain patience as a tough co-wife regardless of her ranking - whether she's the first wife, second, third or fourth.

✅ Some probable reasons why strong wives like these do not oppose what Allah the Most Wise has legislated and made permissible for Muslim men who are financially capable and strive to be responsible:

1. They're blessed by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala with wisdom and ability to understand the countless virtues of polygyny (ta'addud). 

2. They truly love their husband for Allah's sake since their love outweighs selfish ego and impatience. 

3. They don't want their child/children to be far away from their father nor struggle to make a choice between residing with their mom or dad. 

4. They want their status, station or level in Jannah Paradise to be elevated through patiently accepting more of Allah's Qadr/Decree in legislating Muslim men to be wed to at least four wives.

5. They're eager to observe an increase in the size of their Muslim family for Allah's sake and want their child/children to have half-siblings from the other wives/wife.

6. They wish their household to become more diverse by allowing the husband to be lawfully wed to other women of different tribes or nationalities. Polygyny being widespread in Muslim communities promotes harmony, peace and unity among various ethnic groups. Why would a Caucasian Muslim kid be discriminatory or display prejudice against people of color while he's good friends with his half-brothers and half-sisters who don't have the same skin tone? Why would a Tausug Muslim prevent his sister from marrying a new Muslim while their mother was a happy co-wife of three Muslimah reverts? Why would a father of Kagan tribe reject a Maranao's marriage proposal to his willing daughter while he was a younger half-sibling of Maranao half-sisters who cared for him by financing his education like he was their very own brother?

7. They know with absolute certainty that this dunya is temporary while actual and everlasting joy can be fully enjoyed in Jannah Paradise.

8. It could be that a wife who is fine with her husband remarrying wishes to have a female confidant as she doesn't have a sister or close friend, so she hopes to develop a sisterly connection with her co-wives, with Allah's Will, if her husband's other wives show willingness in connecting likewise.

9. They'd rather stay married and be rewarded by Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for their steadfast patience/Sabr than to be divorced and having "entertained" shaytan who loves it whenever Muslims disunite.

~•~

📖 Ibn Hibbaan narrated that Abu Hurairah RadhiAllahu 'anhu said that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’"

Classed as Sahih by Al-Albaani in Saheeh Al-Jaami’ no. 660 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Tirmidhi 

Ali Al-Qari said, “That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala).”

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-patience-for-allahs-sake-can.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-my-answer-to-what-made-you-accept.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-when-is-polygyny-better-than.html  

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/poem-understand-that-theres-wisdom.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/poem-from-signs-of-pious-wives-is-they.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-why-im-okay-with-polygyny.html

https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/4883/%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%86%D9%83%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D8%B9%D8%AF%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%AA%C2%A0

Tips: Advice From An INTJ On How To Deal With Grownup Bullies Eager To Make You Feel "Left Out"

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: As an INTJ-A personality type, how would you deal with a group of acquaintances or colleagues who frequently do whatever they can to make you feel "isolated" or "left out"?

📝 Answer: Allahu A'lam. I would: 

1] Firstly analyze their actual motives and try to understand the probable reasons behind their strange acts. Are they trying to make me feel "lonely" because once upon a time, in the past, they were the ones who got hurt when I couldn't invite them to several outings or gatherings, and now they're acting cowardly passive-aggressive to get back at me for offending them unintentionally? Or are they just being themselves and have no clue that I'm willing to participate in their discussions and they'd likely welcome me if I show genuine interest in participating? 

If they're a bunch of jealous girls or strangers attempting to demotivate me through being obnoxious, why would any decent person with the slightest amount of self-respect wish to associate with such types of insecure individuals? And if they are unaware that I'm readily available to converse with them, I could make the first move if none of them can be described as "toxic", "selfish", "narcissistic", "envious" and "inauthentic".

2] Remember the special few souls whom Allah the Almighty decreed that I'd peacefully connect with and sincerely love for His sake, also appreciating the memorable moments I've had with them - including my dear parents, husband, child/children and siblings.

3] Avoid stalking the social media posts and accounts of all those individuals acting irrationally aloof and unfriendly. Whether they gravitate to me or not, what truly matters is that I'm hopefully one of those steadfast believers whom Allah the Most Loving loves while I strive to maintain polite manners with everybody as much as possible, avoiding oppression and injustice, since I know for sure that I am not an unhappy oversized bully who's desperate to distress others to dispel one's insecurities and despondency.

4] Thank Allah the Most Wise that He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala didn't make me as miserable as those grown-up yet immature bullies are. One would have to be extremely sorrowful, consistently despising oneself and so unsatisfied with one's lack of inner beauty, that they'd go to extremes to upset those whom they undeniably envy in order to alleviate their sadness triggered by being morally incompetent and ignorant.

5] Remind myself of any generous deed which some of those individuals previously did or recall some of their commendable qualities to lessen the probability of developing unjustified negative emotions against other Muslims who have the same enemy as I do - namely shaytan who gets entertained seeing Muslim communities dispute and Muslim females oppressing other Muslimahs due to despicable envy, an ugly sentiment which the abominable devil himself failed to suppress regarding the Prophet Adam 'alaihis salaam.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated that the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The Mufarridun (those who like to isolate themselves) have gone ahead (in gaining rewards)." He was asked, "Who are the Mufarridun?" He SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied, "Those men and women who remember Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) much."

[Sahih Muslim]

Arabic/English book reference: Book 16, Hadith 1436 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are troops collected together. They come close upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/07/poem-not-lonely-since-allah-is-with-me.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/02/note-adult-bullies-and-mean-girls-dont.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/06/poem-what-to-expect-when-many-insecure.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/07/tips-seven-secrets-to-not-feeling.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/01/poem-advice-to-those-who-find-it.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/05/tips-some-advice-on-how-to-deal-with.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2023/01/poem-to-those-who-enjoy-gossiping-about.html