Tips: Advice On How To Deal With Loved Ones Who Can't Reach Out Or Communicate In A Regular Basis

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Seven possible reasons why some of your loved ones, friends, colleagues and neighbors can't always check up on you, so you won't feel insecure about where you stand in their lives: 

1] They may be busy at the moment with their work, school assignments, projects, business or meetings offline, so much so that it's difficult to grab the opportunity to ask how you're doing, because by the time they've completed a task, they're either too tired to initiate online conversations or they have other tasks to complete. 

2] They consider you very intimidating or you generally give off unapproachable vibes. Imagine yourself as a frightening dragon who lives in a gigantic tower that doesn't have a ladder nor staircase and your freakish abode is surrounded by tall brick walls overlapping a garden of thorny trees and prickly vines. It would take large amounts of courage or eagerness for some individuals to skillfully climb and reach out for a quick greeting. 

3] They currently struggle with severe shyness or social anxiety. Attempting to start a casual dialogue with anybody online and offline often makes them nervous or edgy. 

4] From observing your frequent updates and logins, they believe that you're already doing well and there's absolutely no need to inquire about your well-being. Maybe if you disconnected from social media for several weeks, they'd seem more concerned and try to contact to ensure you're okay. 

5] They probably feel that sending you a random message may be annoying for you, or they assume that your inbox contains numerous unanswered messages and they're refraining from messaging you so your stress doesn't escalate. It's their way of showing you they care by respecting your privacy and space. 

6] They don't regard you as close enough yet for them to chat with on a regular basis. Just as you'd rather sit beside a family member in an airplane than next to complete strangers, you'd find it artificial or uncomfortable to maintain small talk with a stranger whom you're not interested in, particularly if there's no significant purpose in regularly chatting.  

7] They're the kind of introverts who refuse to make the first move regarding social niceties. Visualize them as being feral cats that don't bother approaching humans unless the latter got something visibly valuable to offer them. They have a preference for keeping their distance and staying in their lane than getting out of their comfort zone to socialize unnecessarily. 

📋 How to deal with loved ones, including your spouse working in another city or country, who cannot check up on you as often as you'd like: 

• Practice tons of empathy and patience with them for Allah's sake. 

• Remember the wonderful moments and enjoyable times you've had together. 

• Frequently include each other in your loving Du'as, especially when praying Tahajjud, every Jumuah/Friday, and while fasting Sunnah fasts. 

• If direct communication with them is not easy, you can request some of their relatives or friends to forward your salaams to them. 

• With patient anticipation, pray that Allah the Most Merciful reunites you and your Muslim loved ones in Jannah Paradise where you can talk to each other for however long you desire.

~•~

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, the best people to Allah are those who are the first to greet with peace."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 5197

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "You will not enter Paradise until you have faith and you will not have faith until you love each other. Shall I show you something that, if you did, you would love each other? Spread peace (salaam) between yourselves."

Source: Sahih Muslim 54, Grade: Sahih 

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No Muslim servant supplicates for his brother behind his back but that the angel says: 'And for you the same.'"

Source: Sahih Muslim 2732

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-do-good-only-for-allah-and-you.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-with-or-without-many-friends-what.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-on-people-whom-i-cant-always-talk.html

Poem: On The Few Women Who Are Uninterested In Marriage

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 While some women are eager to get married early 

And others are pleased their marriage took place in their teens, 

In my life I know seven females personally 

Who are older than forty years old and seem to be 

Contented not requiring a man to be complete. 

~•~

From the reasons why some women choose to not marry, 

Regardless of how many proposals they received: 

They believe staying single lets them live more freely,

Far from marital stress and responsibilities, 

Or they're avoiding the challenge in polygyny...

~•~

...Or they sense they're not ready to raise a family, 

Or they like kids but won't be carriers of babies, 

The process of giving birth for them is not easy, 

Or they know they're incapable of feeling any 

Desire for men, and trying to love one feels phony. 

~•~

Whatever is the reason why some women perceive 

Marriage as just "optional" or "unnecessary", 

Recall that forced marriage in Islam is unseemly. 

None from her maternal and paternal family 

Can force a Muslimah to marry unwillingly.

~•~ 

Let each Muslim lady select her future hubby, 

And don't scold her if she prefers to wait patiently 

For her perfect spouse when she attains Jannah's entry. 

To those who are choosy regarding whom to marry: 

Marry for Allah. Be the wife that a good man needs.

~•~

📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Marriage is part of my Sunnah. Whoever does not act upon my Sunnah is not part of me. Give each other in marriage, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him contract a marriage. Whoever does not have the means should fast, as fasting will restrain his impulses (desires)."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 1846

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If someone proposes marriage to you whose religion and character satisfies you, then you should accept it. If you do not do so, there will be trials on the earth and the spread of corruption."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1084

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, should women be asked for their consent (permission) before marriage?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Yes." I said, “Indeed, sometimes a virgin is too shy to speak when asked.” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Her silence is her consent."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6547

Sahih Muslim 1420

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim  

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/note-arranged-marriages-vs-forced.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-warning-to-fathers-brothers-and.html 

https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/3411/%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%B6-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A9-%D9%84%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D9%88%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%A7%D8%AC%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A7-%D8%B9%D9%84%D9%8A%D9%87 

https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/12372/%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%A7%D8%B9-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A9-%D8%B9%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC  

Poem: What Often Leads To Conflict Or Incompatibility

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 One of the reasons behind somebody's enmity 

And spite towards you despite not knowing you really, 

Is the fact you're both different, your goals don't smoothly 

Align with each other, and most of your qualities 

Clash which makes it easy for them to loathe and mistreat.

~•~

Perhaps they like to fit in with the majority, 

They dread to look weird, and seek to please society, 

While you strive to deserve the Love of Allah Only, 

You don't fear standing out, you prefer to be unique, 

And stick to your beliefs even if most disagree.

~•~ 

Maybe your inner beauty informs them they're ugly 

Inwardly if they carry unjust grudge or envy, 

While your trust in Allah and strong personality 

May remind them of their myriad insecurities. 

Their antipathy can't make their character pretty.

~•~ 

Probably your marriage, welcoming polygyny, 

And patience trigger guilt or shame they didn't succeed 

In some tasks previously, while your choice to patiently 

Persist in loving your husband for Allah bravely 

Offends them greatly, since they're weak emotionally.

~•~

Just as wolves and bears won't benefit from worms and bees, 

And a lion's presence could disturb the peace of sheep, 

We can't expect to get along with each soul we meet, 

Specially if our haters' hate stems from jealousy 

And countless differences lead to disharmony.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638 

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith (Imaan) and envy do not combine within a believing servant."

In another narration, the Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith are never combined in the heart of a servant."

Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Aslam Al-Habashi RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Umar Ibn Al-Khattab RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, "Let not your love be infatuation and let not your hatred be destruction." It was said, "How is this?" Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, "When you love someone, you become infatuated (obsessed) like a child. When you hate someone, you want destruction for your companion (sister or brother in Islam)."

Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1322

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/tips-how-mature-adults-and-muslims.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-how-to-react-when-some-users.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-patience-with-those-who-hate-us.html 

Hadith: Warning Against Unjustly / Knowingly Stealing Others' Lands Or Properties

📖 Sa'eed Ibn Zayd RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever wrongly seizes a plot of land (which is not their property), Allah will make him carry seven earths around his neck (in the next life or on the Day of Judgment)."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1610

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Abu Salama RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: That there was a dispute between him and some people (about a piece of land). When he told 'Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha about it, she said, "O Abu Salama! Avoid taking the land unjustly, for the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever usurps (unjustly steals) even one span of the land of somebody, his neck will be encircled with it down the seven earths." 

Allah the Almighty knows best. 

Sahih Al-Bukhari 2453

In-book reference: Book 46, Hadith 14

USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 3, Book 43, Hadith 633

Poem: The Differences Between Truly Loving A Muslim For Allah's Sake And Having A Temporary Crush

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Three main differences between love for Allah's sake 

And having a crush on someone whom you can't obtain, 

Some ways to distinguish between love that isn't fake 

And feelings of attraction that often go away 

When one discovers that one's crush doesn't feel the same: 

~•~ 

When it comes to crushes, you want to ensure always 

That you seem "perfect" in your looks, what you do and say. 

In contrast, when some love you truly for Allah's sake, 

They accept your flaws, help without forcing you to change, 

And your true self doesn't disgust them in any way. 

~•~

When around your crushes, your heart quickly palpitates, 

You get nervous or tense, while some body parts may shake. 

Contrary to that, when you love some for Allah's sake, 

You feel at peace in their presence, and when they're away 

You miss them and smile, praying you'll reunite someday.

~•~

When a crush does something hurtful, you can't concentrate, 

And when they've been absent, you're easy to irritate. 

On the other hand, when you love some for Allah's sake, 

You easily give them excuse, forgive their mistakes, 

And pardon their late replies, moodiness, and delays.

~•~ 

Having a crush on someone can take just a few days, 

And you forget them once another crush comes your way, 

Or infatuation dies when you're tired of heartbreaks. 

As for truly loving a Muslim for Allah's sake, 

Even after they've died, your love loyally remains.

~•~

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A man came to the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, what do you say about a man who loves a people but his deeds do not compare to theirs?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A person will be with those whom he loves."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5817 

Sahih Muslim 2641

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah will say on the Day of Resurrection: 'Where are those who love each other for the sake of My Glory? Today, I will shelter them in My shade on a day when there is no shade but Mine."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2566

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A bedouin asked the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, “When is the Hour?” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "What have you prepared for it?" The man said, “Love for Allah and His Messenger (Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam).” The Prophet SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "You will be with those whom you love."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3688 

Sahih Muslim 2639

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-confession-on-few-good-souls-whom.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/poem-defeat-evil-desires-with-taqwa.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-tips-to-deal-with-unlawful-love.html