Poem: Advice On Dealing With Some People Who Are Too Difficult To Like

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

📝 "What tips can you share regarding those whom you despise, 

While your dislike isn't just due to their lousy vibes, 

But you loathe them too since they've lied to you many times, 

Or you can't stand how they like to gossip and backbite, 

And being near them causes cheerful moods to decline?"

~•~

Visualize them as pesky flies. Each time they fly by, 

Depart from their vicinity, or when they're nearby 

Don't bother asking them questions on personal life, 

And never consider requesting for their advice. 

Lions do not require favors from insects to thrive. 

~•~

If you know their Facebook profiles, do not feel obliged

To check what they upload as most content could be lies 

Or they post snide insults aimed at you as deep inside 

They're jealous of you, and their envy can't be denied. 

Don't build connections with those on whom you can't rely. 

~•~

Avoiding toxic people doesn't imply foul pride, 

But you're shunning distractions, don't wish to be beguiled

Into committing wrongs which bar you from Paradise, 

And time is too precious to waste on what's not worthwhile - 

Time-wasters who leave you feeling "drained" or "uninspired".

~•~

If there are certain souls with whom you can't reconcile

As your differences are more vast than river Nile, 

Don't oppress yourself through bullying with undue spite. 

Maintain good manners like you were trained to be upright. 

Choose your close friends carefully without being unkind.

~•~

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Al-Azimabadi said, “That he hates for the sake of Allah does not mean he harms the one he hates. Rather, the hatred is for his unbelief and disobedience.”

Source: ‘Awn Al-Ma’būd 4681 

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger Of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said to me: "O young man, if you are able every morning and evening to remove any rancor (grudge) from your heart towards anyone, then do so." 

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2678

Grade: Hasan

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are like conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638

https://abukhadeejah.com/ahlus-sunnah-the-salafis-warn-from-associating-and-mixing-with-the-people-of-desires-the-innovators-by-ash-shaikh-al-allamah-rabee-al-madkhalee/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-solitude-with-allah-is-better-than.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/tips-how-mature-adults-and-muslims.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/06/tips-when-to-forgive-and-move-on-when.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/tips-5-kinds-of-people-who-dont-deserve.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-five-reasons-why-were-uninterested.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-long-you-hold-a-grudge-according-to-your-personality-type/

Tips: Five Clear Signs That Your Husband Is Emotionally Mature

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

📑 Five clear signs that your husband is emotionally mature: 

1] For Allah's sake he strives to avoid conflict. As much as possible he stays away from aimless arguments and childishly quarreling with individuals who are a lot younger than him. 

2] He tries his best to treat Muslimahs well, including his wife/wives, mother and other female relatives. An "adult" male would be awfully immature and actually unmasculine if he frequently criticizes, disrespects and gets back at females, as he is obnoxiously oversensitive. Doing so would prove that his despicable ego is a lot more gigantic than his ability to have patience with women. 

3] He refrains from using social media for the wrong purposes, nosily stalking users' accounts with awful feelings of resentment, and spying on others' lives - aimlessly watching vlogs of actors who can't inspire him to become a wiser human being or obnoxiously interfering with matters which don't have a single thing to do with him. 

4] He has admirable capability to be gentle, funny, charismatic, empathic and lovingly playful with children, while he does what he can to educate his child/kids about good etiquettes. 

5] He is genuinely interested in becoming a better Muslim, ensuring that he prays in the Masjid for Allah's sake regularly while being receptive to reminders to seek and apply authentic Islamic knowledge with Ikhlaas / sincerity. 

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "I enjoin you to treat women well, for the woman was created from a rib and the most curved part of the rib is its highest point. If you try to straighten it, you will break it. If you leave it as it is, it will remain bent. Thus, I enjoin you to be good to the women."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3153

Sahih Muslim 1468

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhuma narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of the people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband's home and his children, and she is responsible for them. The servant of a man is a guardian of the property of his master and he is responsible for it. No doubt, every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6719

Sahih Muslim 1829

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "The most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1162

Grade: Sahih 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/05/tips-some-signs-that-allah-almighty.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-dear-husband-thank-you-loving-you.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-signs-of-immature-adults-what-it.html 

https://www.succeedsocially.com/immature

Note: Polygyny / Polygamy vs Monogamy?

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Which is better overall? Polygyny or monogamy? For a woman to be her husband's only wife? Or for her to courageously love her husband together with another woman (or other ladies) whom he married lawfully? 

A rose by itself smells delightful, but bring four roses together to form a bouquet or nicely place them in an ornamental vase, and the scent they emit would be stronger and more sublime. Nonetheless refrain from buying more roses if you're allergic to flowers and frequent exposure to their scent can cause your health to decline. 

A flashlight can be helpful if you're walking around a forest at night, but there's more guarantee that you can survive longer and it'd be easier to find your way around the dark if you carry four flashlights. Make sure you don't forget their batteries and each battery isn't expired.

A cup of coffee or tea is satisfactory with a small packet or cube of sugar, but if you have a sweet tooth, your drink would be more enjoyable when you increase the sweetness. It could be a problem though if you currently suffer from UTI or diabetes.

A carriage or wagon which is being pulled by one healthy horse isn't as fast and efficient as carriages being dragged by four strong horses, just as a tiny gift box or note with a loving message would soar into the skies much faster and higher if it is tied to four balloons rather than a single balloon of the same size. A candle on its own can provide minimal light to a room, but if you have four candles, each one to be placed in a corner, you'd be able to see your surroundings better. Avoid neglecting the candles so they don't set your curtains or wooden furniture on fire. 

✅ Polygyny is better than monogamy and becomes a blessing if: 

1] Polygyny works as a catalyst in strengthening the faith/Imaan, patience, and sense of responsibility of the husband and his wives. 

2] Through polygyny the man is capable of making good use of his additional wealth in earning more rewards by taking care of a widow and her child/kids or divorcee who finds it difficult to search for a pious spouse. 

3] The polygynous marriage can inspire harmony among Muslim communities and play a role in defeating racism or tribalistic tendencies when the man is gratefully married to wives from different regions or countries, while their multiracial children are all at peace with one another. 

❎ Polygyny is not advisable and can become a trial:

1] If it causes the faith/Imaan of a Muslim and any of his wives to weaken. 

2] If it makes the man behave in a way that is unjust, neglectful, and irresponsible to all or any of his wives. 

3] If the husband still has loads of debts to be paid and it is obvious that he is financially struggling or emotionally unstable. 

Before a man wishes to have a second, third, and fourth wife, it is recommended that he prays two Sunnah Rak'ahs of Salat Al-Istikhaara then measure the pros and cons of managing a large family so he doesn't struggle with regret in the future. 

Alhamdulillah, even though my late mother (Allah yarhamha. Ameen.) frequently advised my late father (Allah yarhamhu. Ameen.) to have a second wife, he openly rejected the idea of remarrying, and instead remained contented with having her as his only beloved wife in this temporary dunya. 

Not all women are tough enough to accept polygyny. Not all men act as "womanizers" who wish to take advantage of the permissibility of polygyny in Islam. 

Polygyny isn't obligatory. What's mandatory upon the man is to try his very best to love his wives for Allah's sake with as much wisdom, justice, and fairness as he can. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1162

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://abukhadeejah.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Righteous-Wife-P1-WEB-7.3-Print-Complete.pdf

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-patience-for-allahs-sake-can.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-seven-misconceptions-about.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/note-more-blessings-in-polygynous.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-my-answer-to-what-made-you-accept.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/tips-advantages-of-polygyny-for-man-and.html 

💚 Note: Reminder to recite Surah Al-Kahf every Jumuah Friday and include the Muslim Ummah in your Du'a

Links: PDF Book Imaam Ibnul Qayyim's Book Translated To English Language "The Keys To Happiness" [To Benefit For Allah's Sake, Not For Sale]

📚 Islamic PDF book "the keys to happiness" 

(As Sadaqah Jaariyah charity, not for sale) by Imaam Ibn Al-Qayyim, May Allah the Almighty have mercy on him. Ameen. 

[Translated to English language] 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sXXQU5EJyTc5n5fCEj8j7yPe745nHMza/view?usp=drivesdk

Note: Don't Bother Arguing With Liars Who Are Deluded By Their Lies

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: As an INTJ personality type, would you confront a person who clearly lied against you or complained to some individuals about you with some flagrant lies? Why or why not? 

📝 Answer: If I was informed that a certain individual invented some lies, big or small, serious or trivial, against me, I would regard them as a complete stranger who can never be trusted in the present and future, while likely assuming that they probably fabricated those awful untruths because they're understandably jealous - perhaps they are envious that I married much earlier than them Alhamdulillah, that I can understand a lot more words in Arabic language than they do Alhamdulillah, or they find my assertiveness very intimidating so they only want me to get into some sort of trouble. 

I wouldn't bother confronting them about the lie if I have no interest whatsoever in building any connection with them, specially if (with Allah's Will) I was able to sense from the beginning that the bad vibes they emitted came with questionable motives. A colleague who is regularly absent from meetings, who feels too afraid or insecure to make decent eye contact with you when communicating, and who proved to be absolutely unreliable so many times wouldn't surprise me one bit if I discovered they made up some false stories about me. 

Discussing issues with frequent liars and childish troublemakers is one of the things I'd strive to avoid for Allah's sake because they could misuse my own statements against me and make it seem as though I'm the one who instigated the whole ugly drama. 

What I would do after confirming that a person is untruthful, untrustworthy, and deluded by their nonsensical lies is to quit regarding them as a potential friend, to minimize unimportant conversations with them as much as possible, and to never ask for any advice from them or their opinion on anything... because you can't be sure if they're being real with you or simply acting, pretending and attempting to deceive you as well as themselves. 

✅ I may try to approach the person to correct the misinformation and solve the misunderstanding if: 

1] They're a family member and relative, while I know a way to reach out to them. 

2] We've been actual friends for more than five years or acquaintances who talk to each other a lot. 

3] They directly apologized to me and showed sufficient signs they can actually be counted on. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is not stung twice from the same hole." 

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5782 

Sahih Muslim 2998 

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abu Hurairah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Years of treachery (before the Day of Judgment) will come over the people in which liars are believed and the truthful ones are denied, the deceitful are trusted, and the trustworthy are considered traitors, and the disgraceful will deliver speeches." It was said, “Who are the disgraceful?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Ignorant men with authority over the common people."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4036

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "You must be truthful. Verily, truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to be truthful and encourages honesty until he is recorded with Allah as a truthful person. And beware of falsehood. Verily, falsehood leads to wickedness and wickedness leads to the Hellfire. A man continues to tell lies and encourages falsehood until he is recorded with Allah as a liar."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhāri 5743 

Sahih Muslim 2607

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/tips-negative-qualities-which-many.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/06/poem-disconnecting-from-toxic-people.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-how-to-treat-dishonest-and.html 

https://introvertdear.com/news/things-intj-personality-hates/